


Lessons in Avoidance: Or How Darcy Lewis Learned to Have Feelings

by Beckala



Series: Lessons Learned [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Hawkeye (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: American Sign Language, Avoiding Feelings, Canon-Typical Violence, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Communication Failure, Darcy Lewis is Tony Stark's Daughter, Deaf Clint Barton, Dirty Talk, Established Relationship, F/M, Mild D/s, Nightmares, Oral Sex, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Pre-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Science Bros, Voyeurism, Wall Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-03
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:22:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 98,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26788168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beckala/pseuds/Beckala
Summary: “All of that said,” Jane continues, “I think it’s more likely that you have unaddressed and very deep feelings for Clint and this was your body’s way of trying to force those feelings out through your eyeballs so you’ll stop being so stupid about it.”“I have no words for how deeply that offended me.” Darcy chokes out.Darcy figures out how to have a grown up relationship, makes up with her father, and uncovers a mystery at work all against the backdrop of the events of Captain America: The Winter Soldier.
Relationships: Clint Barton & Kate Bishop, Clint Barton/Darcy Lewis, Darcy Lewis & Tony Stark, Jane Foster/Thor, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark
Series: Lessons Learned [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2077284
Comments: 203
Kudos: 334





	1. The Beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This work is complete. I plan to post once a week until the entirety is posted. Tags and warnings will be updated as we go. 
> 
> What you can expect:
> 
>   * A lot of character development for Darcy
>   * An established and maturing romantic relationship
>   * Some fun adult times (smut)
>   * Light action and some violence, all with warnings
>   * A happy ending
> 


“Careful with that, it’s very delicate!” Jane’s voice rings out over the loading dock and Darcy spins on her toes to watch the tiny woman gesturing wildly at a hunk of machinery held together mostly by duct tape and dreams. 

“Janie,” Darcy reaches out to catch at Jane’s arm, “why don’t you go up and direct the guys in the lab. I’ll keep an eye on things down here.” Jane gnaws on her bottom lip looking undecided and Darcy shoves a half finished coffee into one of her hands, “Seriously boss lady, we only get the muscle for the afternoon so if you don’t get things where you want them now they’re not moving again.”That seems to be what she needs and Jane nods like she’s accepting a mission.

“Okay but watch them like a hawk.” Jane shoots a suspicious glance back to the movers.

“I got it.I’ve moved us before.” Darcy gives her a little push and Jane heads off for the elevator.Darcy waits until she sees her best friend disappear behind steel doors before turning to the movers, “I will give you $100 to drop that thing on the way up.” The younger of the two gives her an incredulous once over.

“Whatever you say honey.” His leer is obvious and Darcy makes sure to give him a wicked grin in response.

“That’s what I like to hear.” She flirts back, “Just get the rest of it up there one way or another but be careful with the big thing in the back, it’s got a radioactive core.”All the faces go back to serious professionalism and Darcy nods.She would expect nothing less from a moving company used to working with Stark Industries.They know the risks of moving delicate scientific equipment. 

It’s why they’re here really.Why Jane finally relented after years of head hunting from Tony Stark and Pepper Potts, agreeing to take a lab in the iconic tower in New York City.Jane’s research has finally moved beyond the theoretical and into the need for practical application which means less star gazing and the need for a much larger equipment budget.Tony’s offers had been getting more and more ridiculous over the years but this last one, post a conference where Jane spoke about the conclusion of her research, was utterly absurd in it’s generosity. 

Honestly, Darcy knows Jane would have taken Tony upon a lab years ago if it wasn’t for her but Jane is a loyal friend.The best friend Darcy’s ever had really and best friends don’t force each other to work with their estranged fathers.Even if said estranged father is continually throwing larger and larger sums of money at their feet.This last offer though was too much to ignore and when Darcy saw the way Jane looked wistfully at the paperwork she’d finally caved.What was a cross country move and facing four years of family avoidance in the face of $12 million dollars, a state of the art lab, free housing, and kick ass jobs for them both. 

So here she is, the new lab manager for Stark Industries R&D New York, trying to ignore the fact that she’s right back where she would have been without ignoring Tony for four years.It’s like fate, or more likely, a very determined father.Unstoppable. 

She gives one more glance to the movers, is satisfied with their level of care, and heads for the elevator herself.She figures it’s time to face the music.The massive service elevator feels echoey with just her in it but she enjoys the moment alone to prepare herself.She’d thought about what she wanted to do on day one a lot during the trip from New Mexico.She’d considered avoiding Tony until they ran into each other naturally but the fear of an awkward public first encounter had her making plans to create her own reunion moment.No matter how forced. 

The service elevator lets her out on the lab floor, the highest level of the tower it can reach and as Darcy steps out she can hear Jane’s voice from down the hall shouting about delicate alignments and machine placement.She has no doubt she’s going to end up elbows deep in one of those machines for most of tonight trying to solder misaligned wires back into place. Now’s not the time though, so she slips down the hall until she reaches the sleek elevators that can get up to the higher residential floors of the tower.She presses her palm to the sensor by the door and isn’t surprised when the car opens immediately. 

“Welcome home Miss.” Jarvis’ familiar accent fills the space and Darcy smiles despite herself.

“Sup, J.Where is he?” Darcy asks.

“Sir is in his private lab. He would be happy to see you, should I let him know you’re on your way?” The AI has the same monotone as always but Darcy imagines she can still hear some reproach in the question.

“Not yet, can you direct me to coffee first?” Darcy isn’t ready to face Tony without some kind of social armor and a cup of coffee for each of them seems easiest.

“Of course.” Jarvis replies and the elevator begins to move up.Darcy counts the floors along with the digital screen and tries to keep her breathing even.“The doors will unlock for you.” Jarvis says by way of goodbye when the doors open on the palatial main floor. 

Darcy has never been to the tower before today but everything about it just screams Tony.From the five floors of high end retail space at ground level to the way he’s created a haven for the Avenger team on the top ten floors.The large common space with his lab overlooking it is just one more thing that’s so very Tony Stark.Darcy takes in the giant floor to ceiling windows, multiple bars, built in bookshelves on the second loft floor, the open concept kitchen, and sunken living room space.The layout may be Tony but the modern decorating is all Pepper. 

The kitchen has the most complicated coffee maker Darcy has ever seen but she manages to fix up two cups and hopes Tony still takes his coffee the same way after four years. It’s not something they’ve discussed on the few awkward phone calls since the events with the Mandarin and then the Dark Elves.Holding the coffee she eyes the open metal stairs that lead up to his personal workshop with a wary eye and takes a deep breath.Hopefully some of that grace Pepper tried to teach her is still present. 

Tony has never been a normal father.How could he be.He’d tried though.Essentially inheriting Darcy when she was four after her mother’s death, he’d taken to the new responsibility with his usual careless confidence.Darcy admits he never shied away from who she was or what she meant to him.He’d claimed her, both on a quietly filed birth certificate and on carefully redacted school paperwork.Her parentage was never publicly discussed but if a reporter decided to go looking it wouldn’t take them long to find out who she is.He wasn’t ashamed of her, never had been, he just thought she was ashamed of him.It’s how they’d gotten to this point. 

Years of love and father/daughter bonding lost to “I am Iron Man” and Darcy was without a dad for the bulk of her college experience.She’d stepped away from him then, terrified of staying close and watching the man who’d raised her die in some spectacular fashion.Instead she’d watched from the other side of a screen while he almost died in Monaco, flown into a rip in space over New York, and been thrown into the Pacific.Being far away while it was happening didn’t make things any easier.Darcy knew that now and then the Dark Elves in London — . 

She shakes her head as she gets to the top of the stairs trying to physically push away the thought.They’d come through the Dark Elves unharmed in body but the actual damage was yet to be fully assessed as far as Darcy is concerned.Now’s not the time though.Stopping outside the doors to the workshop Darcy prepares herself for the awkward.

True to his word, Jarvis opens the doors for her automatically and no amount of preparation could get Darcy ready for the swell of nostalgia that overtakes her.It’s not the workshop from the Malibu house, but the feeling is the same, it even smells the same and she takes a deep breath before stepping over the threshold.Tony has his back to the door and he’s shoulder deep in something Darcy can’t name, a headlamp askew on his dark hair, a match for her own coloring. 

“I’m not going down there Pep. I already told you.” His voice is tight and Darcy swallows around a lump in her throat. 

“It’s not Pepper.” Her voice carries across the room easily and Tony jumps and spins, spilling wires over the side of the machine he’s working on as he disengages from his task too quickly.“I brought you a coffee.”Darcy holds out one of the mugs and she was wrong, it’s not making things any less awkward. 

“Darcy.” Tony breathes her name and his eyes are scanning her with the laser focus he usually reserves for a particularly difficult equation.Darcy knows what he’s seeing, she looks different after four years away.She lost all the baby fat she had in high school, her hair is longer, her features a little sharper.He looks different too.He’s clearly taken his role on a super hero team seriously and he’s thinned out too, almost too fit for a father of forty-five. 

“Coffee.” She reminds them both and he leans out to take the mug.

“Thank you.” He stares for a moment longer and then it’s like a switch flips and he tugs the headlamp off dropping it on a table before moving over to his desk to start flicking through floating holo screens. “Moving day going well? Is the lab up to Dr. Foster’s exacting standards?You figure out where you’re going to live yet?” 

The last question is tacked on to the end there and Darcy can feel her frustration from their last phone call bubbling up.Tony tried his hardest to get her to agree to move into a room in his penthouse with Pepper rather than her own apartment two floors down.She’d held firm though.She was already worried people were going to think she wasn’t qualified for her new job, she didn’t need nepotism on the list of reasons why.Plus, she had no desire to finally be outed as Tony Stark’s bastard daughter at 24.They’d made it this far by keeping things quiet.

“The movers are excellent.Jane is as satisfied as she ever gets without Thor in the mix.I haven’t seen the apartment yet but I’m sure it’ll be perfect.”She answers the questions in order and he nods without looking at her before taking a slow sip from the mug.

“Pepper’s really glad you’re here.” He says still not looking at her.Darcy knows it means he’s happy she’s here. “You scared the shit out of her with that thing in London.” Translation, they’d had to practically drug him to keep him from flying to London in the suit and blowing holes in Buckingham Palace as revenge for letting his little girl get in trouble.

“I’m glad I’m here too.” It’s surprisingly genuine. 

“That’s great! Did Pep tell you about the mandatory fun she scheduled for us all tomorrow night?” Another deflection but Darcy allows it.

“She did.I was informed that I am to attend no matter what my feelings are on forced socialization.” Darcy gives him a smile and he returns it with his own. It feels so familiar, sending her back to them plotting against Pepper’s desire to make them just a little more traditional via forced field trips away from workshops and science experiments. 

“Good.I’m glad you’re here too kiddo.” He says and Darcy takes a gulp of coffee to hide her reaction to the old nickname.

“Me too,” she finally agrees, “well I should probably go...” She trails off and he nods.

“Yep, well you know where to find me. Be good.”He turns away before she does, diving back into whatever he was working on and Darcy makes it out of the room before she has to take another deep breath.She counts to ten and then takes all the heavy feelings and puts them in a box in her mind to be examined later.If the last few years have taught her anything it’s expert level compartmentalization.Nothing like trying to finish a five year BA/Master’s program while saving the world multiple times to make a girl capable of multi-tasking.

First awkward meeting with her father checked off the to do list, Darcy heads back down to the lab floor to figure out what the rest of the day holds.The answer is, of course, a very stressed out Jane and hours of machine repair.Darcy would like it on record that the machine repair is not the fault of any of the movers, rather it’s because Jane still insists on ‘fixing’ her own devices with duct tape.This despite, Darcy’s ability weld, solder, and tinker almost anything she needs into reality without resorting to more rudimentary means.Darcy has given up trying to break this habit and just mitigates disaster at this point. 

They spend the rest of the afternoon getting the lab in order and eating take out.Darcy doesn’t technically start her job as lab manager until the following week but after the late lunch she takes a few minutes to stalk through the rest of the floor.There’s two other labs on this floor and two on the one below that will be her responsibility to keep running.Most of the R&D is focused on development of practical applications but there are two that are still in the theoretical and Darcy makes a few mental notes about how to adjust protocols to account for it.

She’s exploring the small kitchenette shared by the entire department when she almost runs bodily into a slight dark haired man she immediately recognizes as Bruce Banner.He’s rumpled and clutching a cup of what smells like herbal tea in one hand trying to keep it from ending up a victim of their collision. 

“Are you okay?” He steadies her with a hand on her arm and Darcy bounces back on her feet.

“Yes, sorry sorry.Are you okay? Dr. Banner right?”He raises an eyebrow and nods taking a careful step back. 

“Yes, although you’ve got me at a disadvantage.Have we met?” He shifts the cup of tea to his other hand in preparation for a hand shake and Darcy meets him halfway. 

“Darcy Lewis, I’m the new lab manager for R&D.” His hand is almost too warm and Darcy wonders if that’s a side effect of the Gamma radiation.

“Oh! Right, Tony said you were starting next week. Call me Bruce.” Bruce’s face warms with a smile and Darcy matches him.

“I moved in today with my platonic life partner Dr. Jane Foster.I’ve been her assistant for the last few years so I’m helping her get settled this week before I start with everything else on Monday.”His eyebrows shoot up at the title she gives Jane but then he’s peering around her curiously where Jane can be heard cursing at the other end of the hall.

“I didn’t realize Dr. Foster already moved in.Her work has been incredibly exciting to follow the last few years.Especially with the connection to Thor’s appearance.”Darcy knows that tone of voice and the way his eyes have gone hazy.He’s about to nerd out. 

“Do you want to meet her?” Darcy offers with a knowing grin and then winces when a particularly loud shriek echoes up the hall.

“She sounds... busy?” Bruce says but he’s still looking past Darcy with interest. 

“Nah, that’s just how she hypes herself up for the big discoveries.Come on.”Darcy doesn’t give him a chance to respond, just turns on her heel and starts to lead the way.She can hear him shuffling along behind her out of the kitchen break room and down the hall.

“Janie, I brought you a present but you have to stop yelling at the pretty pretty machines or you’ll make a bad impression.”Darcy singsongs the words as she steps through the open lab door.There are still parts and wires everywhere. 

“Darcy?” Jane’s voice comes from the back of the lab, “Darcy, I can’t get the radio telescope controls to sync up and the quantum seismograph is just spitting out the most ridiculous readings.Did you take the tape off the Boson particle sensor, I had that covered for a reason.”Jane trails off as she emerges from behind a piece of machinery bigger than herself.

“I will finish hooking up the telescope relays and yes, I took the tape off because duct take is not a reliable solution for frequency distortion.First though, come meet Dr. Bruce Banner.” Darcy steps to the side to reveal the man behind her and waves her arms in a Vanna White reveal.She’s rewarded with an open mouthed gape from Jane.

“Oh Dr. Banner your work on Gamma radiation is fascinating.I used the theory from your last paper to adjust my own search parameters for the...” Jane has already cross the room and is bodily dragging Bruce off to the other side of the lab where her laptop is setup. Darcy watches them go with some fondness before reaching for her tool bag. 

She can hear Bruce replying in low tones and Jane making little happy science noises in the background and Darcy lets it settle over her. This is why they moved here, so Jane could have science friends and finally get to the building of her fancy Rainbow Bridge. Awkward encounters with Darcy’s father are just a side effect.At least that’s what she wants to tell herself.Before the box labeled daddy issues in her head can sneak it’s way back open Darcy forces herself to focus on the mess of wires in the telescope relay.

~0~

Bruce and Jane have given up on science talk with a promise to pick things up later long before Darcy manages to get all the things Jane was trying to fix back in working order.By the time the last wire is in place and the code has been updated to reflect their new coordinates in New York it’s dark outside and Darcy is certain the crick in her neck is permanent.She’s just about to ask Jane if she wants to order in more dinner or call it a night when a soft cry of excitement from the other side of the room announces the arrival of Thor. 

Thor, God of Thunder, and Jane’s very large and very hot boyfriend is standing in the doorway of the lab looking around curiously.“I have come to take you both to dinner.” His voice carries over the space with all the power of an alien prince and Darcy runs a hand through her now greasy hair.

“Aww thanks big guy.”Darcy smiles as Jane tucks herself into Thor’s side.“Why don’t you two just go.I’m going to finish this up and then explore my new place.” 

“Are you certain Darcy?” Thor looks a little concerned and Darcy doesn’t blame him.Usually they’re both working to get Jane to step away from the lab for food but tonight the little scientist seems more than happy to be led away. Darcy doesn’t blame her, Thor has been away for a few weeks and Jane always gets antsy without him. Especially after his almost two year absence post the Destroyer incident.

“I’m sure.You guys go and have fun.”Darcy doesn’t miss the ‘thank you’ Jane mouths at her. 

“Well then, Ms. Potts recommended a place nearby that has the noodles you like Jane.”He’s already looking down at Jane with big puppy dog eyes and Darcy picks her screwdriver back up.With the way Jane is looking back at him they’ll be lucky to make it to the lobby before she’s jumping him.

Darcy spends another twenty minutes cleaning up tools and putting things in some semblance of order before heading to the elevators. 

“My floor J-man and order some of those noodles Thor was talking about.”She mutters once the doors of the elevator close. 

“Of course Miss.” Jarvis agrees and Darcy frowns up at the ceiling.

“What’s with the Miss stuff J? I thought we nixed that programming sophomore year of high school.”Darcy had rewritten Tony’s parenting protocols for her so many times she could probably recite the code from memory. 

“Sir updated my systems in honor of your return.” Jarvis says as the elevator car arrives at her floor and Darcy lets out a groan.Tony’s idea of parent protocols means a lot of spying and a lot of Jarvis babysitting her like she’s still 15. 

“Right,” she mutters, “of course he did.Tell me this J, am I able to order a beer to go with my dinner?” Darcy asks.

There’s a short pause and then, “Might I suggest a mango lassi instead?” Jarvis asks.

“That’s what I thought.” Darcy says pressing her hand to the reader next to the door assigned to her and ducking inside.So Tony has gone back to full daddy dearest mode even if he can’t talk about it to her face.Well that’s going to need some adjustment and soon but first — dinner and sleep.It’s been a long day. 

The apartment is beautiful and clearly decorated by Pepper based on the muted colors and modern furniture. Darcy’s favorite part though is all her moving boxes still untouched, stacked up in their assigned rooms. A sure sign that Pepper kept Tony at bay. One more thing Darcy needs to thank her favorite mother figure for. 

She shucks her shoes and pulls her bra off through the arm hole of her shirt before collapsing on the couch. She can see a massive king size bed made up with soft looking linens through the bedroom door but she knows there’s no point.She hasn’t slept through the night in almost two months and she doubts even moving day exhaustion will change that.She’s asleep on the couch before dinner arrives.

The next morning finds her eating cold noodles over the sink before digging into a box labeled ‘building crap with Jane clothes’ to find something to wear.She’d been right about not sleeping through the night and she’s feeling rough until a long shower and two cups of coffee bring her closer to functional.Though she’ll admit, you can’t beat the four minute commute down to the labs. 

Jane isn’t in yet and Darcy isn’t surprised, so she just starts taking stock of the lab.Writing out a list of everything they didn’t pack but Jane is going to need including a metric fuckton of spare highlighters and dry erase markers.She’s talking through the merits of ordering notebooks versus trying to train Jane on the digital systems in the tower with Jarvis when Jane arrives looking very smug.

Jane post good sex is always smug.Darcy can’t really blame her considering who her partner is but considering her own recent dry spell Darcy’s not really in the mood for it this morning.Nor is she in the mood for Jane’s chipper good morning.

“Someone had morning sex.” Darcy says by way of reply and Jane has the confidence to just smirk back.

“He says I’m like a goddess when I’m warm with sleep.”Jane responds dreamily into an empty coffee mug.

“Gag me.” Darcy snarks back and Jane flicks her off.“No seriously, if you gag me so I can’t talk could I come watch?” Darcy waggles her eyebrows at Jane’s open mouthed mock disgust. 

“I doubt there’s a ball gag big enough to keep you quiet.” Her boss snips back and Darcy actually cackles. 

“What do you want to start with today Janie? I got your radio telescope setup last night and everything else is calibrated but we probably need to start getting your hand drawn plans into the CAD software if you’re going to fabricate anything new soon.”It’s a fingers crossed moment.Jane loves doing things the old fashioned way, dragging around countless notebooks and pens. Getting her onto a digital system managed by Jarvis would be spectacular but after having everything taken by SHIELD Jane is still wary of her work being on any servers she doesn’t control. 

“Have you set up our server partition yet?” It’s an astute question and Darcy shakes her head.

“No, but I can do that this morning if it’ll get you to actually use what Jarvis has to offer.”Darcy literally crosses her fingers behind her back.

“You’re certain you can keep our work completely separate from S.I.?” Jane asks, “I know he’s your dad,” she whispers the word dad and Darcy silently thanks her, “but I still don’t know if I trust him.” 

“I can 100% guarantee he won’t be able to get into it.”This part is actually true.One of the stipulations of Jane coming to work for Stark Industries had been that she have access to all the tech but on her own private network.Darcy planned to update and then use her own personal server to store Jane’s research. She just needs to delete terabytes of old music and pirated movies left over from high school first and then update the bios.

“Okay, when you’ve done that we can start using it.” Jane finally agrees and Darcy lets out a breath. “You want coffee?” Jane doesn’t wait for a reply just picks up Darcy’s empty mug and drifts out towards the communal kitchen. 

Setting up the server takes more time than Darcy thought it would. Mostly because she’s forgotten whatever inane password 17 year old her thought would keep Tony at bay and she ends up having to reformat the entire thing through a complicated back door and then restore it from an even more remote back up system.It’s after lunch by the time she’s cleared out everything she can stand to lose and has made room for Jane’s work. 

With the computer set to start scanning pages of hand drawn schematics, Darcy leans back in her chair to check on Jane only to find her across the room talking quietly to a tall redhead.Darcy jumps up at the sight of Pepper Potts and runs a hand through her messy hair.She hasn’t avoided Pepper as much as Tony the last few years and they’ve met regularly for lunches and visits and one memorable long weekend trip to Paris to shop but she’s still missed her.

“Pep.” Darcy is across the room and has to pull herself short to stop the hug. She’s in public and Pepper is supposed to be her new boss, not the only mother figure she’s known since she was 10. 

“Darcy!” Pepper seems to know what happened and steps fully into the room so the frosted doors close behind her before opening her arms for a hug.Darcy lets herself relax into it just a bit before pulling away and sending an apologetic look to Jane who is carefully looking elsewhere.

“Good to see you.” Darcy tries to recover some of her dignity and Pepper lets out a little laugh. 

“Missed you too.” Pepper says, “Tony says you stopped by yesterday.He was thrilled to hear you’re settling in.”Darcy very much doubts that Tony said any of those words about her awkward visit to his workshop but this is how she and Pepper have talked about Tony since the Ten Rings.In carefully coded language designed to reassure and soothe.

“It was good to see him too. What can we help you with?”Darcy tries to put on some professionalism and pull the visit back to something she can handle. 

“I was stopping by to remind you both about the party in your honor this evening. We’ve invited the entire science staff and I know everyone is looking forward to meeting Dr. Foster and our new lab manager.”Pepper sounds polite as hell but Darcy can hear the warning behind the words.This is not an optional event. 

“Is there a dress code?” Jane suddenly pipes in and Darcy shoots her a warning look.There goes showing up in jeans and a beanie and claiming ignorance which is probably exactly what Jane was angling for. 

“Business causal.” Pepper pauses as though trying to figure out how to say the next thing, “Darcy, I took the liberty of having something in your size brought in and left in your apartment.I know you mentioned last week not having any dress clothes that were easy to find.”Darcy makes a face. 

“Thank you.” She says out loud but she can tell from Pepper’s narrowed eyes she hasn’t hidden her disappointment. 

“Well I’ll let you both get back to it, the party starts at seven.Don’t be late,” Pepper steps back so the doors open behind her, “and welcome to the team.” 

With a turn on classy as fuck heels she’s gone and Darcy sinks into the nearest chair only looking up when Jane’s hovering becomes a physical presence at her side. 

“It’s nice of her to make sure you have something to wear?” Jane finally says.

“She’s got experience wrangling me.Where do you think I learned to wrangle you.”Darcy says back running another hand through her messy hair.

“We don’t have to be here.” Jane says suddenly and Darcy groans.It’s the beginning of a conversation they’ve had over and over in the three weeks since they’d agreed to finally accept the S.I. offer. “SHIELD still wants me,” Jane looks around the state of the art lab wistfully, “it wouldn’t be the same amount of funding but we could make it work.” 

“No.” Darcy pushes herself up from the rolling chair so hard it flies backwards. “We talked this. No SHIELD. I am okay with this.It’s not like avoiding working here would make things any different.I would have to deal with all of this eventually and dealing with it now so you can have the best of everything makes it bearable.” 

“Sure but I don’t like seeing you this stressed out and after everything —“ Jane trails off and Darcy knows she’s running the events in London through her head. Jane still felt an intense guilt over the Dark Elves and the almost dying that took place six months ago. To the point that she tried to Old Yeller Darcy via a very transparent attempt at firing her about two weeks after they got back to the states.Darcy had nipped that bullshit in the bud right quick. 

“We talked about that too Janie.Not your fault.We’re here.It’s all going to be okay.”Darcy stares her friend down until Jane nods. 

“It’ll be better soon anyways right?Any day now?” Jane hints at yet another mental box Darcy isn’t willing to open right now.

“Any day now.” Darcy agrees, then with more enthusiasm, “I got the server ready and the schematics are uploading.Why don’t you make sure nothing gets lost in translation while I finish setting up the radiation field stabilizers?” 

“Oh! Don’t mess with the cross wiring I did last week I think I finally got the third stabilization field to stop making that whoomp whomp noise when it starts up.” 

“Whatever you say boss.” Darcy grabs her tool bag again ready to see what disaster she’s up against now.

Darcy works until the last possible moment. Even Jane leaves the lab before her with a warning about not being late over her shoulder.It’s Jarvis who finally forces things to stop by turning off the lights in the lab at 6:45 and refusing to turn them back on.Darcy makes her way out by feel mumbling about Skynet overlords and gets up to her apartment already late for the party. 

The garment bag is hanging in the closet by the front door and Darcy drags it with her into the bathroom to take a quick shower.The party attire was clearly picked out by Pepper.A little black dress with a low scoop neck and A-line skirt plus a pair of practically deadly red soled heels that give Darcy an extra three inches in height.It’s the underwear that make her pause, a long line corset bra and matching satin panties.At least one of her parental figures realized she was a grown up. 

She gets dressed, tries and fails to tame her messy curls, and swipes on a quick cat eye plus red lip to make herself look just a little more mature.She’s just stepping into the shoes when her phone buzzes with multiple texts in quick succession from the other side of the room. Limping over on a single heel she snatches it up and unlocks the screen staring down at the sender name with a tight chest. 

**I come out of comms blackout to find out you moved to New York!!!!! WTF Darce.**

**Not to mention I’m apparently a mandatory attendee at the welcome party for your new job at Stark Industries.... TONIGHT**

**No serious injuries, just a couple scrapes and bruises. See you soon.**

Darcy lets out a breath two months in the making and leans against the counter trying to figure out how to reply.Her brain races through a dozen different responses from serious to funny before she finally settles on nothing.If he’s on his way to the tower for the party, she’ll see him soon enough without adding a fight over text to the mix.She can keep thing carefully boxed up for another few hours to handle it properly.It still takes another several minutes of deep breathing before she’s ready to leave. 

It’s a very respectable 7:30 when the elevator doors open on the common room, party in full swing.The room is packed with unfamiliar faces and Darcy stays to the edges until she catches sight of Thor.Knowing Jane won’t be far from the big guy she starts to pick her way through the crowd towards him.

“Darcy!” Jane has her two voice drink on and Darcy hides her wince behind a smile as she joins the small knot of people she’s standing with.

“Jane!” Darcy mimics back before giving a Thor a gentle shoulder bump and then looking around at the unknown people.

“Darcy you have to meet,” Jane gestures at the group, “Dr. Carrol Burns, Dr. Jim White, and Dr. Ben Mathers.”Jane gestures at the last man with a terribly unsubtle waggle of her eyebrows.It explains why he alone got a first name. 

“Nice to meet you all, Darcy Lewis.”Darcy shakes hands all around and gives everyone a second look.Dr. Burns is middle aged and mousey with faded brown hair tucked up in a conservative knot.Dr. White is tall and severe, with a receding hairline and tiny square glasses.He regards Darcy carefully during their handshake before his eyes dart down to her chest and stay there.Dr. Ben Mathers, who Jane had been so excited about is the youngest, in his early thirties at most, with messy brown hair and warm brown eyes. His grip is firm and he smiles at Darcy’s face through their introduction.

“Nice to meet you, call me Ben.” his voice is as warm as his eyes, “Dr. Foster has been telling us a lot about how you revolutionized her lab’s systems.We’re excited to see what you’ll be able to do for us.” 

“Hopefully nothing too drastic,” Dr. White joins in, not offering up permission to use his first name, “the last lab manager didn’t understand the importance of the scientific method.Not enough experience.”Dr. White’s tone leaves nothing to imagination about his thoughts on Darcy’s level of experience.She pushes off her annoyance and smiles at him.

“I can assure you, I plan to spend quite a while seeing what’s working before making any changes.”Darcy aims for politically correct and it seems she’s landed when without addressing her at all Dr. Burns starts asking Jane complex questions, clearly a continuation of the previous conversation.

“Don’t let them get to you.” Ben’s voice pulls Darcy out of her thoughts and she zeroes back in on his smiling face. He is a handsome guy, even if Darcy isn’t looking at the moment. “They’re just set in their ways.Can I get you a drink?”He gestures towards the bar and Darcy nods, grateful.

“Sure, umm gin martini in a high ball glass.Extra olives please.”She gives her usual order. 

“Coming right up. Don’t go anywhere.”He smiles again and turns towards the bar.Darcy takes the chance to turn back to Jane. 

“Excuse me.” She says to the doctors, interrupting something particularly dry sounding from Dr. White as she grabs Jane’s upper arm and pulls her three steps away.Thor follows a beat behind like a trailing puppy. “And this is Dr. Ben Mathers” Darcy mimics Jane’s suggestive simper back at her tiny best friend and Jane doesn’t even bother to look ashamed.

“What?” She leans back into her massive boyfriend, “he’s cute and single.”Jane shrugs.

“I thought—“ Thor starts to say and Darcy cuts him off.

“You thought right big guy,” Darcy shoots Jane a glare, “Janie is just playing over protective mom with the back up plans and it’s not appreciated.” 

“I am not—“ Jane starts but she’s cut off.

“Thor introduce us to your friends.” The speaker is a svelte red head standing next to a man who is unmistakably Captain America.Darcy puts on a smile for the Black Widow as Thor straightens up.

“Ah yes!” Thor wraps a big arm around Jane, “Natasha Romanoff and Steve Rogers it is my pleasure to introduce you to my beloved Dr. Jane Foster and her platonic life mate Darcy Lewis.” He says the last part with a grave seriousness before turning to Darcy, “Did I get that right?” 

“Perfection big guy,” she reassures before holding out her hand to Natasha first, “nice to meet you.”The redhead shakes her hand with a pleasant smile. 

“You as well.” She says before turning to Steve, “These are the two Tony is so excited about.” 

“I remember,” Steve says shaking hands with Jane and then Darcy, “welcome to the team.Tony has said great things about you both.”Darcy gives him a smile.

“I got that drink — woah.” Ben makes his return holding two drinks but his eyes are wide and focused on Steve Rogers.“You’re Captain America!” Darcy reaches out to save her drink from hands that look like they’re about to start trembling in fan boy excitement before turning back to find Steve Rogers sporting an almost blush.

“Steve is fine.” He says holding out his hand for Ben to shake. 

“I just, I knew you worked here sometimes, but wow.”It’s an awkward moment but Steve seems to be handling it with some resigned grace. 

“I love your shoes,” Natasha’s voice is far too close and Darcy turns to find herself pinned in by the Black Widow.“I have a friend here who would die to see them, they’re new this season right?” She continues.

“Uh, yes?” Darcy has no idea but agreement seems to be what Natasha is aiming for. 

“Do you mind if I steal Darcy and show off her fabulous footwear?” Natasha is speaking to Jane who nods absently, apparently too absorbed in watching the human car crash that is Dr. Ben Mathers meeting Captain America to care about her best friend being publicly kidnapped by an ex Russian assassin.

“Excellent,” Natasha’s smile is wicked and she loops her arm through Darcy’s leading her away through the party.“We’re just going to stop and say hi to a few people real quick.”She says quieter in Darcy’s ear.

Darcy may not be a spy but she can tell when she’s part of some kind of op. Or at least she can as Natasha leads her through the mess of party goers, introducing her to dozens of people she’ll never remember and then coming upwith a seemingly endless supply of excuses to move on before small talk really sets in. They’ve crossed half the room when Darcy cottons on to their destination, a marked exit door in one far corner half behind the smaller of the room’s two bars. 

“What are we doing?” Darcy hisses the words in between groups of new people. 

“I’m making sure as many people as possible have seen you here so your absence will be unnoticed for a few minutes.” Natasha hisses back and Darcy has sense enough to not like that tone of voice coming from Natasha Romanoff.

“And then what?” Darcy whispers back, smiling politely at someone as they walk past, “You dump my body?”

“You didn’t tell him you moved.”They’re free of the last of the crowd now and Natasha leans them against the end of the bar close to the exit door.Her eyes continue scanning the room as she speaks. 

“He was on a comms blackout. What the fuck was I supposed to do.” Darcy refuses to let her voice be a whine when speaking to Natasha.

“Send an email. He was halfway to New Mexico on a quinjet when I got here and found out you and Foster had moved in.” Darcy does feel like shit about that.“He’s running late because he had to go back to Bed Stuy to change since he also didn’t know he needed to go to a party.”

“So why am I over here with you?” Darcy asks and she doesn’t miss the way Natasha cuts her a scathing glance for her tone. 

“Because he likes you, I usually like you but right now I mostly just like him and so I promised I’d get you away for a few minutes.”There’s a soft buzz and Natasha looks down a phone she’s pulled out of thin air. “ETA two minutes.” 

“Are you running this like an op?” Darcy gives the Black Widow an incredulous once over and then quells when the full force of Natasha’s glare turns on her. 

“He won’t bring it up but this hurt him Darcy.Don’t do that again.”It’s a warning and Darcy feels frustration bubble up in her chest.Shows how much Black Widow knows.He will bring it up, Darcy knows he will because they’ve spent a long time working on the ability to talk each other like adults.They’re trying. 

“I don’t know what you think —“ Darcy is cut off by a muffled crash and curse through the door at their backs and Natasha curses under her breath in Russian. 

“He’s here.” Natasha’s eyes scan back over the crowd, “Go, no one will notice you missing.”Darcy has no doubt about that. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! 
> 
> This work is currently only beta’d by me so all mistakes are my own. If you notice an issue please let me know. I’d love to fix it!


	2. Homecoming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint comes home and adult-ish conversations are had, although, not until after they’ve celebrated his homecoming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who read, followed, commented, and gave kudos! This chapter is a long one. Also, please note the rating change and tags.

With one last look at Natasha, Darcy ducks through the door.It’s a service stairwell and Darcy leans against the door at her back.He’s there, standing on the top stair of the landing staring down at a broken shoelace on his almost trademark purple chucks like it’s personally offended him.Which, considering the muffled crash they’d heard moments ago, maybe it had.

Darcy is breathless with the realization that it’s been two months since she saw him last.Two months of compartmentalization.Two months of pretending she didn’t miss his stupid face.Two months of hard choices and difficult changes all without the support system she almost hates to admit she’s started to rely on.God, he looks good.In dark dress pants, a light button down and an unbuttoned suit vest.His dark blond hair is a mess, sticking up at odd angles and when he looks up to meet her eyes across the small space even the butterfly bandage across one cheek can’t mar the way his face goes soft for her. 

“Clint.” It comes out on a breath and there’s no way he actually hears it.Not with only the backup BTE hearing aids on but it doesn’t seem to matter because in a blink he’s across the landing and Darcy finds herself backed into the wall next to the door. His hands tight at her waist, his face so close she can’t miss how the dark of his pupils threatens to overtake the usual blue green of his eyes. 

“I missed you.” He hushes the words against her mouth.Not a kiss but damn close.Darcy can’t help the way her body arches into his, her hips angling into him as her hands come up to grip the open sides of his vest.“Did you miss me Darce?” He asks as one of his big warm hands drops to the hem of her dress and the rough brush of his palm over her thigh has something coiling deep in her stomach. He drags the hand up until his calloused fingers are wrapped around her hip under the dress, digging into flesh over the satin of her panties. “Tell me you missed me Darcy.”

“I missed you.”

She lets the words fall out on a sigh and it’s like they’re the permission he needs to close the minuscule gap between them.His mouth slots over hers with the ease of something done a thousand thousand times.Darcy can’t stop the soft moan that comes with the contact even as she struggles to pull him impossibly closer.His tongue presses in and she opens under him, letting him slide into her mouth even as he pushes a tense thigh up and between her legs.

Even with his hands rough on her and his mouth very carefully taking her apart with fierce licks and tugs, she can tell he’s being careful.Years of espionage incapable of being undone by a kiss.He never drags a hand up to her hair the way she knows he loves to do and for all that he’s sucking fiercely at her bottom lip he never pulls away to kiss at her neck in the way that makes her knees weak.He’s making it easy for them to play this however she wants. She takes his cue and doesn’t fight it when he finally breaks the kiss to lean his forehead against hers. 

“Moved to New York huh?” He says it lightly but there’s a sharpness to his eyes Darcy would be an idiot to ignore, an unspoken reprimand that promised a later in-depth conversation.Darcy spares a thought for proving the all knowing Natasha Romanoff wrong.They’d worked hard for this, the ability to almost communicate like adults.Almost. Two years they’d spent moving from a one night stand, to friends who texted, to friends who sexted, to long distance friends with benefits, to this semi-committed-monogamous-adult-partners thing they’re doing now.

“I moved to New York.” She agrees and then nips at his bottom lip because she can’t help herself.

“If I’d known all it took was a job offer I would have done that instead of trying to tempt you with sexual favors for the last year.” His smile goes all the way to his eyes this time and she snorts at the fake pout in his voice.

“Tony offered Jane 12 million dollars.” Darcy says quietly and she trails one hand up to play with the short hair at the back of his neck.Her nails scratch at the delicate skin and she revels in the way his eyes go half lidded and a shiver runs through him from the touch. 

“Again, could have made that happen a year ago.” He teases back as he crowds even further into her until they’re pressed so tight together Darcy imagines they’re practically fused.She can feel him half hard against her stomach and it makes her ache.

“You saying you would have been my science sugar daddy if I’d asked?” She flutters her lashes at him as she asks and it’s his turn to nip at her mouth, his laugh more a huff of air than a sound against her lips.

“Will make getting to your place easier,” he says instead, “fewer planes.” She snorts a laugh and presses a chaste kiss to his lips, one he chases in an attempt to deepen until a soft vibration from his pocket forces him back just a bit. “Five minute warning from Nat,” he explains. Right, they still have to go back to the party.The party being held in honor of her and Jane joining the team.“How are we playing this?” Clint asks, and Darcy can see the way the question shuts him down. 

She knows he’ll follow her lead. So she’s honest about what she needs.“Distant. Acquaintances from Thor’s landing?” She can’t help the way it turns into a question regardless of it being what she wants. Clint nods but he steps away, his hands stay in place but Darcy feels the loss of his heat against her body like a physical blow.“Clint,” she runs her finger over the delicate skin behind one ear, just behind the hearing aid. 

“Explain it to me.” It’s not a new request, almost a code at this point between them after years of keeping to the shadows.Neither of them are strong emotional communicators but they have this code, a shorthand of call and response that fills in the gaps left by the ability to say the things that should probably be explicitly stated. 

“I just moved across the country to live and work in my secret father’s skyscraper after not seeing him in person for four years,” it sounds even more ridiculous out loud than it does in her head, “it’s not the time for oh and by the way I’ve been secretly dating your Avenger team mate.” She drops both hands back to his vest and pulls at him until he’s flush against her again.Two months was just long enough to forget how good his body felt against hers. “It’s not because I’m ashamed of you.” It’s that last part he’d wanted.She knows it the minute he relaxes into her. 

“Come stay with me tonight.” His voice is rough on the request and he kisses at her lips again.Just a few quick, wet passes with no tongue but it’s enough to make her want to melt into him.

“I can’t. Jarvis sees all.I need to take tonight to hack and update my privacy protocols.” Another thing that sounds ridiculous when said out loud.

“Come to Bed Stuy then,” he punctuates the demand with a shift of the thigh between her legs and it would be so easy to grind down into it.She’s wet enough and she knows from experience the friction would be delightful.

“I can’t,” she hisses and he growls, actually fucking growls against her mouth, her eyes flick up to his trying to gauge how much he’s going to push.Probably a lot. 

“I will scale the outside of this building with suction cup arrows if I have to Darce but it’s been two months and I missed you.I had plans for us and only some of them included getting you naked but all of them were fucked up by finding out you moved when I was already halfway to New Mexico” The hand he has rucked up under her dress tightens in promise even as his smile goes soft.She knows what he means.The after mission ritual is not to be fucked with.They’d honed it carefully.

“I’ll come to Bed Stuy,” she agrees.

“I’ll take you to Bed Stuy,” he corrects.

“You can tail me to Bed Stuy, 90 minutes after I leave the party,” she amends, “you absolute creeper.” He huffs another laugh against her mouth.

“Deal.” He says around an absolutely wicked smile.

There’s another vibration from his pocket and for an irrational moment Darcy actually hates Natasha but she shoves it down.Clint presses one last kiss to her mouth before pulling away from her completely, smoothing down the line of her skirt as he goes.

“Your tits look spectacular by the way.” His leer is completely unapologetic and she rolls her eyes. “Lipstick check?” He motions to his own mouth as he asks and Darcy is reminded again how much of a secret agent he really is because it’s a detail she never would have thought to consider. She reaches up to rub a small smear of her bright red shade away from the corner of his lips.

“You’re good. Me?” She asks and he gives her a critical once over before swiping his thumb gently over her bottom lip.

“Prettiest girl I’ve ever seen.” His eyes are soft and his tone so sincere she looks away in a rare burst self consciousness.

“Clinton Frances Barton, always wasting good lines on a sure thing.” She teases him in an effort to lighten the mood.

“You know me baby girl,” he gives her the lopsided grin she knows only a select few get to see, “I’m all about making sure I hit my mark.” It’s so cheesy it pulls a full laugh from her throat and his grin gets bigger. “I missed you Darcy.” 

“I missed you more.” She quips back. “Who’s going first?” She nods at the door back to the party as she asks and she watches as he drops back into professional spy mode.It’s just another mission now. 

“I will. The usual timing.Nat and I will make sure no one’s watching the door for you.” His voice is clipped with the long practice of giving orders and Darcy nods her agreement. 

There’s a final charged moment where his mask drops and she can see the naked desire to just drag her back to his room consequences be damned flash over his face. It’s gone as quickly as it came and then he’s gone, darting through the heavy fire door without a backwards glance. 

Darcy lets her shoulders drop and she leans back against the wall, taking a deep breath and working on counting to 120 Mississippi in her head.It’s going to be tight on time to get into Jarvis’ systems and get the privacy protocols updated in an hour and half but she knows she can do it.It’ll be worth it to end her night curled up in bed with Clint.To go through all the things it takes to really take her walls down after he’s been gone for a long time.

She hits the two minute mark and carefully ducks through the door.She’s not surprised to find Jane leaning against the bar next to the door already holding a gin martini in a high ball glass with extra olives.She takes the drink and leans into the smooth wood of the bar’s surface. 

“Natasha told me to be here with a drink.” Jane sounds resigned, “I assume the reunion was good? Although not that good since you look decidedly unmussed.”

“I forgot to tell him we moved.” Darcy drops her head down to the cool surface of the bar to avoid seeing her best friend’s reaction.

“Forgot?” Jane’s voice goes high pitched in that way that can only mean science is not cooperating or Darcy has done something foolish. “You forgot?”

“Not forgot so much as was so deep in the crisis created by seeing Tony again in person that it slipped my mind to text him.He was in a comms black out for the last five weeks of it.The entire we’re moving thing took place after the last time we were able to talk.” Darcy’s whispering the words into the wood of the bar but she knows Jane can hear her based on the small hand that starts rubbing comforting circles on her back.

“Well that’s not unreasonable.” It comes out sounding more like a question but Darcy appreciates the validation all the same.

“Can’t talk about it now, not really.” Jane makes a small noise of agreement.“Let’s go mingle.” Mingling is honestly the last thing Darcy wants to do but she has do doubt they owe this moment of quiet completely to Natasha’s terrifying ability to control a room and it probably won’t last much longer.

“Are you guys telling anyone?” Jane asks and for the second time tonight Darcy thanks any gods that may be listening that her tiny platonic life mate can be socially adept when needed.

“No and please make sure Thor knows.Right now there are only five people in the whole world who know and we’d like to keep it that way for awhile longer.” Darcy tries not to think about how willingly Clint would probably let that number swell to five hundred.

“He’s good. We’re good.Let’s go talk to Ben, throw everyone off the trail.” Jane’s voice has that squeaky quality it gets when she’s trying to be sneaky.She’d be the worst spy ever.

“No one asked for Ben, Jane.” Darcy whines back.

“Ben’s very nice.” Jane scolds and then cuts her eyes at Darcy before she snorts into her drink. “Okay fine. I assume you’ll be sick tomorrow?”

“Yes, I sense a flu coming on.” 

“Weird how those alway seem to align with —” Jane’s cut off by the need to dodge Darcy’s elbow to her stomach and they both dissolve into laughter before pushing off the bar to rejoin the party. 

The next two hours are long, so very very long.There is small talk with the other members of the science team, another awkward encounter with Ben, and avoiding Tony.Avoiding Tony is made easier by the fact that he seems content to avoid her as well.Darcy loses Jane to a very intense debate on the merits of the metric vs. Imperial systems by the canapes and finds Pepper by the bar.

“Nice shoes.” Pepper doesn’t look at Darcy when she speaks just keeps her eyes on Tony who is showing off in a single Iron Man gauntlet across the room. 

“Thanks,” Darcy says leaning against the bar, “they were a gift.” She cuts her eyes over at the tall redhead and smiles.“Is he going to put a hole in the tower?” 

Pepper’s eyes narrow in Tony’s direction before she turns completely to face Darcy, leaning against the bar on an elbow. “Probably,” she finally says, “he’s excited you’re here and nervous.” Pepper’s pale blue eyes are focused on Darcy’s face in a way that makes her feel like a teenager again. 

“We’re both nervous about it Pepper.It’s going to take some time to go back to the way it was, if it ever does.”Darcy drains the last of her martini and drops the highball glass on the bar top. “It’s been a long time since we were in the same place.”Both literally and figuratively Darcy thinks.

“Do you like the apartment?” Pepper redirects the conversation like the pro she is. 

“It’s amaze-balls. I assume the decorating is due to your fabulous influence?” Darcy has barely explored the full space she’d been assigned but what she’s seen is very much the Pepper Potts special.

Pepper lets out a low laugh, “I’m glad you like it, you know —” there’s a crash from across the room and they both turn to see a crowd gathering around where Tony was last seen. “Fuck, Tony.” It’s a phrase Darcy has heard from Pepper many times over the years. “I have to go,” Pepper waves in the direction of the growing disturbance and Darcy nods. “But, just look, I want to make sure you know I didn’t let Tony put any sensors in the apartment.” Pepper looks back to meet Darcy’s eyes with a meaningful look, “Just in case you were worried about that.” There’s another meaningful flick of pale blue eyes and Darcy follows her psuedo-mother’s gaze across the room to Clint’s blond head turned away from them watching whatever Tony is doing and Darcy feels her breath hitch. “I’m so glad you’re here Darcy.” With that parting shot Pepper floats away on quick heels calling Tony’s name as she goes. 

Darcy is left leaning against the bar feeling a mix of breathless and dumb. She forces herself to take a deep inhale.Pepper hinting at something is meaningless, right? It’s not, Darcy knows it’s not and no matter how worried she is she also knows that Pepper knowing is not the same as Tony knowing.Thank gods.It’s enough to have her heart racing though.She pulls out her phone to check the time and decides she’s been at this party long enough.

Whatever it is Tony’s doing on the other side of the room is breaking up but the distraction is still enough to give Darcy the chance to slip from the room. She fires off a quick text to Jane so she doesn’t worry and takes the elevator up to her apartment.

It takes 15 minutes in front of her laptop to find the backdoors in Jarvis’ programming she’d left herself last time she did this.She wonders for a moment if Tony knows they’re there and chose not to fix them or if she really was that good.She has to assume he knows and left them alone for her, a father-daughter courtesy.It takes another 15 minutes to find the string of code labeled ‘demon spawn tracking’ and then 45 minutes to rewrite the commands to suit her preferences.

When she’s done she leans back into the couch, cracking her knuckles, before looking up at the blank ceiling.“Jarvis, enact my privacy mode.” The response is immediate. 

“Of course Darcy.” The AI’s accented voice rings out. 

“Jarvis define privacy mode parameters.” Darcy requests, wanting to make certain she’s eliminated as much of the teenage protocols as possible.

“Privacy mode will remove the ability to request your location within the tower in circumstances that are not life or death.” Jarvis replies.

“Define life or death.” Darcy demands.She’s not going to have Tony convincing the AI not being able to find his only daughter so he can show her his newest toy is a matter of mortal peril.

“Life or death meaning the imminent loss of physical life.” The AI replies, “Not to be confused with any kind of metaphorical death.” 

“Excellent.” Darcy nods and shuts the computer lid.The reality is, if Tony really wants to find her he can sign in and reprogram the settings himself but it’ll take him time and Darcy is betting on him not having the patience.Not to mention the trojan horse she snuck in that would alert her via text if her code is being altered.She’s picked up a few tricks from Clint over the years.

She packs an overnight bag with a change of clothes, her computer, and a toothbrush and snags her coat off the back of the couch.She doesn’t know the layout of the tower well enough yet to sneak out in true spy fashion but considering she expects to be tailed for the journey to Bed Stuy it’s probably not a bad thing that she has to take the main elevator down. Jarvis wishes her a good evening as she hits the lobby and she ducks out the front doors onto the street. 

It’s a cold walk to the subway and a boring train ride.She doesn’t feel eyes on her but she has no doubt he’s either on the same train or very aware of where she is.She’s tried over the years to figure out how he does what he does but has found it’s better to just let the magic happen.So when she hits the street again at the stop for his building she doesn’t bother with situational awareness, just walks with purpose.

She’s less than a block away when the hands grab her from behind.There’s a flash of panic followed by a flood of lust as she’s pushed up against a rough brick wall by a very familiar body.Clint’s eyes are half lidded and dark in the dimness of the alley. He’s still dressed from the party but all of the playful sweetness from the stairwell is gone and Darcy realizes she isn’t the only one who’s been compartmentalizing. 

“I was less than a block away.” She says with only a little bit of a reprimand as his mouth latches onto the delicate skin of her neck.His hands are not careful this time, one rough palm cupping the side of head with fingers digging into her hair and catching in her curls.

“Couldn’t wait,” he mutters the words hotly into her throat, “plus Kate’s there and Lucky so it’ll be a circus the minute we walk in.” 

“Why is Kate at the place you invited me to for hot-you’ve-been-gone-for-two-months sex?” Darcy practically whines the question.It’s been too long and he’s had her wound up for hours on the promise of their usual home from a mission hot-as-fuck bang fest. 

“Well I thought I’d be holding you up against a wall in New Mexico so Kate was staying a few extra days to watch Lucky.” Clint’s voice is back to teasing and his mouth is dangerously close to the neckline of her dress.He’s got her coat open and the hand not in her hair is tucked up under the dress gripping at her hip again. He looks up at her with a half grin and Darcy does some quick sex calculus before deciding the alley is probably dark enough to make this work. 

“Well then, by all means.” It takes some maneuvering to get her backpack off so she’s pressed more firmly against the wall but that’s all the reprieve she gets before Clint is on her in earnest.His mouth catches at hers in the way that never fails to make heat pool between her legs and his hands are everywhere. 

“Jesus Darce, I need —” Clint trails off into her mouth as his fingers trail under her panties and into the wet heat between her legs.She knows what he needs. 

It had taken her a while due to distance, both geographical and emotional, but by now she knows all the different ways Clint fucks.There’s Clint on lazy weekend mornings, loose and goofy, smelling like coffee and happy to keep her hanging onto the edge by her fingernails while he moves over her in slow graceful strokes.There’s Clint after a date, when he’s hot and sharp and more than willing to put in the time to warm her up and bend her into the most incredible positions until she’s nothing but an aching nerve.There’s Clint when he thinks Darcy is being a brat, teasing her until she’s begging him to finish her off.There’s Clint clueless and gasping at Darcy’s mercy. 

Then, there’s Clint after a mission. When he’s really still more Hawkeye than Clint Barton and he’s nothing but life affirming need.He may have kept it corralled for the meeting in the stairwell and the party but post-mission Clint is out now. She assumes he’s either scouted the alley ahead of time or is still on high alert based on the way his hands are pushing her skirt up, calloused fingers trailing up her thighs until he can grip just under her ass to lift and pin her against the wall.

The thick wool of her coat keeps her back cushioned against the brick but the pitted stone catches in her hair as she drops her head back to give him more room to mouth at her throat.She buries one hand in his hair, letting blunt nails scrape over his scalp until he groans into her, his hips bucking up to press between her legs.She can feel the bunch of his muscles where he’s holding her up and there’s nothing like the realization that it’s practically effortless for him to hold her in place. It always leaves her feeling breathless.

“Here?” She can’t help gasping out the question just to be sure that they’re on the same page for what’s about to happen. 

He looks up at her through his lashes, his eyes fierce and dark. “You have a complaint?” He doesn’t really wait for the response, just shifts her in his arms until he’s got her braced on one strong forearm, using his newly free hand to tug the top of her dress down.His groan when his tug reveals the lace of the longline corset bra she’s wearing sends a spike of heat through her.

“Fuck me.” She hisses the demand into his ear before biting at his neck.

“Yes ma’am.” He says it with military precision before ducking down to get his mouth around a nipple and sucking harshly with just enough teeth to be just on the perfect edge of pleasure-pain.

There are some realities to sex against a wall that Darcy has learned the hard way since she started sleeping with Clint.The biggest is that it’s not just the man who needs good muscle tone.It doesn’t matter how big Clint’s biceps are it won’t work if she’s not an active participant but the burn is so worth it.So while he’s trying to take her apart with his mouth latched firmly against her chest, Darcy engages her core to help him out and frees up her hands to tug at his belt.

She wants to touch him.She wants hours to make up for the two months apart, to brush her hands and her mouth over every part of him until he’s as tightly strung as one of his bows.Then she wants to do it all over again until he comes for her.Her fingers tangle uselessly in the front of his pants when he runs his teeth over her nipple but she still manages to get his cock free and strokes at him roughly, loving the feel of him hot and heavy in her hand.

He’s impatient.She is too.There’s a strained moment where she’s forced to grip his hips with her thighs while his hand slips between her folds to dip into the slick wetness he’s caused.He trails calloused fingers over sensitive flesh to hold the crotch of her panties to the side before surging forward to enter her in one long stroke.There’s a burn and stretch after months without and Darcy can’t help her sharp gasp but he finds her mouth, swallowing the noise. There’s no finesse in what happens next, there never is when he’s like this.

His hands are rough where they grip to keep her against the wall and he doesn’t ease into the main event, just starts to move and she arches against him to enjoy the ride.He keeps his mouth against hers, kissing and nipping at swollen lips, until they’re both breathing too hard to keep it up.She can feel her orgasm starting to pool low in her stomach and she’s using everything she can to meet him thrust for thrust. She’s going to have bruises on her ass from his fingers and probably on her stomach from his hip bones but she can’t bring herself to care.

“Darce, please.” He sounds wrecked and she digs her nails into the back of his neck, pushing back into the wall with her shoulders to give herself more leverage.“Need you,” he’s breathing the words into her mouth, his eyes squeezed shut, “Need you to come for me.Want to feel you.God I missed the way you feel.” The sound of him combined with everything else has her more than halfway there despite the fact that she’s in an alley with one tit hanging out.

She can start to feel him shifting to help her out but she shunts his hand away with a jerk of her shoulder. “Harder.” She says it so low she’s almost worried he’ll miss it with the backup hearing aids but the way his eyes snap open to meet hers makes it clear he heard.He doesn’t miss a beat, adjusting his grip to both hands under her ass he ups the pace and Darcy drops a hand between her legs to rub at her own clit.She doesn’t last much longer, coming with a full body clench, her eyes locked on his.Clint fucks her through it, not slowing down even as she starts to shake with aftershocks until she feels him falter and then still, his mouth open against hers, his eyes wide.

There’s only the space of a few breaths before he goes from intense and fucked-out to tender.His hands loosen on her thighs as he slides from her body and she lets out a shuddering breath finally realizing how cold it’s gotten.Her panties slide back into place over their combined mess and she carefully drops her feet until he lowers her down.His hands stay on her body, sliding over her hips and up her back, keeping her steady on weak knees as she finds her bearings.She finally looks up to find him staring down at her with soft eyes and she reaches up to trail a hand, still wet with her own arousal down his cheek.He smirks at her. 

“You good?” His hands finally settle on her hips and he pulls her away from the wall a step.She feels like she’s got colt’s legs for all that she’s able to balance without added support.

“Great—” she pauses, “god, I sound cock drunk.” Clint laughs loud and wraps both of his impressive arms around her waist to lift her against him. The attempted romance of the moment is almost immediately spoiled when he trips and they both fall bodily back into the wall, only his quick reflexes saving Darcy from being crushed by his full weight.

“Aww, shoelaces, no.” Clint mutters against her temple and Darcy laughs. 

“Fuck. Here let me help you with this.” She drops her hands between them to redo his belt and straighten his shirt.“Kate’s going to know exactly what we’ve been up to.” 

“How would she know what we’ve been up to?” Clint trails his fingers through her hair and ducks to pick up her backpack from where he’d dropped it to get her against the wall. “She’s like twelve.Twelve year olds don’t know about sex.” 

Darcy attempts and fails to snatch the backpack from him before settling back onto her heels with a pout. “You do know Kate is actually nineteen right?” Clint makes a face and Darcy grabs his hand, swinging from his arm as she continues through a conversation they’ve had a million times before. “She’s only five years younger than me.” She loves the way he winces at the reminder.

“Yeah okay,” he agrees starting to walk them out of the alley and towards his building, “but you’re all —” he waves his free hand in half an hourglass outline in front of them, “and Katie Kate is just… Hawkeye?”

“She’s just Hawkeye?” Darcy asks back not bothering to keep the teasing from her tone.

“Yeah, you know.She’s just twelve year old Hawkeye.” He agrees, swiping his keycard for access to the building.A recent security upgrade Darcy doesn’t comment on.

“So what does that make you hot shot?” She asks as they start up the stairs and Darcy has never hated his walk-up more than she does right now in new heels with post wall sex muscle ache. “Are you thirty-three year old Hawkeye?”

“Watch your mouth!” He manages the mock scandalized tone he’s aiming for but now that they’re in the harsh overhead light of the stairwell Darcy can see the tightness around his eyes and the slump of his shoulders.The next part of the post mission recovery ritual needs to happen ASAP. 

“You could watch my mouth instead.” As far as flirty lines go, she knows it’s terrible but she pairs it with a sassy tone and a shift of her body to make her cleavage deeper and right in his eye line. 

“I’d watch those lips do anything darlin’.” He agrees lightly and his hand tightens on hers, pulling them both up the last flight to stop in front of his door. “You ready for the chaos?” She puts on a show of straightening up and tugging her coat into place before giving him a serious nod.

It is chaos.Clint’s apartment always is.The minute they’re through the door, Lucky’s charging for Clint, who doesn’t fight it, just kneels down and lets the dog tackle him to the ground licking at his face with abandon.Kate Bishop, _nineteen year old Hawkeye_ , pops up over the back of the couch looking confused and holding a nerf gun with a menacing look on her face.

“You’re supposed to be in New Mexico.” She grumbles before taking a less than graceful roll over the back of the couch to find her feet.

“I’m supposed to —” Clint’s response is cut off by a well timed kiss from Lucky and Darcy barely manages to move out of the way as they both roll over and in an impressive display of leftover circus skills Clint gets to his feet with the lab clutched to his chest. “I’m supposed to be where Darcy is and Darcy is now in New York.” 

“Hey Darcy, long time no see. Nice to see you in the city again.” Kate drops the nerf gun on the kitchen counter and picks up a messenger bag from one of the bar stools. 

“Hey Kate. Good to see you too.Sorry to be a surprise.” Darcy gives a half shrug in apology.

“What are you doing?” Clint is watching Kate gather up her belongings with narrowed eyes. 

“I’m going home.” Kate is shoving her feet into unlaced converse and Darcy wonders if they need to have a girls day out to remind Kate she doesn’t need to take on all of Clint’s bad habits.Especially not the fashion ones. 

“Why are you going home? You should stay, we’ll get pizza!” Clint sounds upbeat but anyone who knows him well would hear the strain in his voice and Kate knows him very well.Darcy is not surprised at the way the younger girl’s face scrunches up as she looks them both over. 

“I mean based on the sex hair you’re both sporting I have a feeling I should clear out now rather than hear round two.” Kate picks up her keys, swinging them around a finger to make them jingle. “I’ve seen you two looking like this enough to know what’s coming next.” 

“You’re twelve.” Clint whines and Darcy rolls her eyes.

“Do you want Clint to order you a car?” Darcy asks in an attempt at being polite.

“Nope,” Kate pops the word and gives Darcy a smirk, “I’d say enjoy yourself but I don’t see how you could.”

“Hey!” Clint manages to look offended even through the wild licks Lucky is still trying to land.

“Thank you Kate. Don’t tell anyone I’m here.” Darcy practically sings the words, already pulling out her phone to order pizza.

“Your secret is safe with me. Night Hawkeye.” Kate dodges past the mess of Lucky and Clint to dart out the door.

“Night Hawkeye.” Clint agrees. “Pizza?” He turns to Darcy with hopeful eyes and she nods in agreement as she hangs up the phone.

“Fifteen minutes, hot shot.” 

His smile is blinding.

~0~ 

Clint’s breath is hot against the back of her neck and he’s got his morning erection pressed up against the cleft of her ass.Darcy stretches against the long line of his body and every shift reminds her of all the things they did last night after Kate left them to it.

The post mission ritual was something Darcy honed to perfection after countless tense nights trying to pull Clint back to himself after a rough op.It started after particularly rough side op with Natasha six months after the Destroyer, was utterly perfected after Loki’s attack on New York, and then was reversed for Darcy after the destruction of Tony’s Malibu house by the Mandarin.That had been a rough few days, which is saying something considering Darcy had already watched her father almost die on YouTube at least three times.

The heavy arm draped around her waist tightens and Darcy feels more than hears Clint’s mumbled, “Go back to sleep,” against the skin behind her ear. She ducks to press her face into the pillow but he follows, the stretch of his smile against her throat a soft contrast to the pinch his fingers make against her ribs. “It’s too early.” His voice is thick with sleep and Darcy can just hear the drawl of the midwestern accent he works so hard to hide. 

There’s no point in trying to respond.She can see his hearing aids on the nightstand so she knows he won’t be able to hear, not unless she speaks directly into his right ear. Darcy knows enough ASL to hold a conversation but she also knows almost nothing will make him open his eyes for at least another hour.So instead she reaches back until she can get a hand buried deep in his hair, she scratches at his scalp with blunt nails, and then tugs once before releasing.A silent request which Clint grants when he lifts his arm to let her roll off the side of the bed and onto her feet.

It’s still early, or early for Darcy and she steps between shafts of soft light from the high loft windows to find Clint’s discarded dress shirt before padding down the steps from the bedroom with Lucky.The living room is still a mess.After Kate left the night before they’d eaten pizza and then Clint had eaten Darcy. The pizza box is still on the coffee table and Darcy’s panties are hanging off the floor lamp next to the couch.Lucky has taken care of the leftover crust overnight and Darcy bypasses the mess entirely to start up the coffee maker.

While the dark roast percolates quietly she drags her laptop out of her backpack and checks her email.She’s got the usual junk mail, four emails from Jane, two from Pepper, and one Jasper Sitwell.Darcy deletes the last one without opening it.Sitwell had been emailing her and Jane with increasing regularity trying to get them to officially join the ranks of SHIELD and it seemed even signing contracts with S.I. wasn’t enough to put him off the trail. 

The coffee maker beeps and Darcy pours out a cup before sitting down at the breakfast bar to sort through the rest.The emails from Jane were all sent the night before and clearly while under the influence.Darcy skims the content of the last one while sipping her coffee.She is pretty sure her boss/best friend isn’t serious about the connection between the recreation of the Einstein Rosen Bridge and way Thor’s abs align with the golden ratio but Darcy has to given the woman credit for trying.She decides to file that particular theory in the drunk but brilliant folder and move on. 

She’s halfway through the first email from Pepper which appears to be a forward of requisition summary from section 41 of R&D when Clint comes downstairs.He’s wearing his favorite ratty sweat pants and they sit low on his hips under a bare chest.Darcy leans against the counter and enjoys the play of muscle under tawny skin as he stumbles down the steps towards the coffee maker. He drinks straight from the glass carafe and Darcy snorts into her own mug at the sight.Clint Barton defies all attempts at housebreaking, not that Darcy would ever really try. 

“Good morning,” she waits until he’s looking at her with bleary eyes and signs along with the words one handed. 

His smile is dangerous even from across the room and the way his eyes dip down her front to the single button holding the borrowed dress shirt closed leaves no doubt about what he’s thinking. 

“No.” She snaps word out loud and in ASL, two fingers tapping against her thumb on repeat until he reaches out to still the movement. 

“No?” Clint asks, he’s put the coffee pot down and is leaning over the kitchen island between them, eyes still firmly fixed on the considerable cleavage revealed by her choice of barely secured top.

“Where ears?” She signs before slapping his hand away from the button he’s reaching for and his eyes go wide in mock panic.

“I think they’re still,” he reaches up and runs quick fingers over his ears, “yep, still there.” He gives her a teasing smile and Darcy rolls her eyes. 

“Oh, he’s got jokes ladies and gentlemen.” Most of the joke is actually lost on Clint because of the way she turns her head as she speaks to address her fake audience but when she turns back to him he’s smiling into the coffee pot. 

“What’s the plan today?” He asks as he pulls the purple hearing aids from his pocket and carefully puts them on, “I assume we’re staying in since I’m playing the dirty little secret.”

There it is.The conversation they didn’t manage to have last night, front and center via the most passive aggressive means possible.It’s not unexpected given their history of poor communication but she’d been hoping to get fucked at least one or two more times before it happened.Darcy decides to to match him in his pettiness.

“Well at least now I can tell the Black Widow she’s wrong about something with complete confidence.” Darcy slurps at her coffee and ignores the way Clint’s eyes narrow.

“Never something Nat likes to hear.” He finally says softly and Darcy cuts her eyes back to his face to find him watching her carefully.“Do you want to do this now or do you want to finish our coffee and then let me eat you for breakfast?”She can tell the offer is genuine for all that it’s a probably unhealthy to continue to compartmentalize.

“Option two please.”

~0~

Option two ends up hot diversion from a conversation that was going to happen no matter what.They do finish their coffee, or rather, Darcy manages to gulp the last of hers before Clint drags her around to his side of the counter, hoists her up, and finishes his own while casually pumping two fingers between her thighs. All the while explaining in an almost bored voice the many things he’d thought about doing to her while he was stuck in a sniper blind the last week of his op.

She’s barely managed to come down from her countertop orgasm before he’s got her over his shoulder and they’re headed back upstairs for a shower.A shower that starts with Clint on his knees, both her legs over his shoulders while she struggles to find purchase on slippery tile walls and ends with her bent over the shower bench as he slams into her from behind.

Two hours later finds them right back where they started, now with fresh coffee and still needing to have the conversation they’d been trying to fuck away. Clint at least looks relaxed in his own skin even if he’s watching her with a guarded look in his eyes over the top of the coffee pot. 

“Do you —“

“You should —“

They both start to speak at the same time and then stop.Darcy groans and drops her head to the counter with a thud.

“We should be better at this after two years.” She moans into the old butcher block. They should, shouldn’t they?

“Eh —“ She looks up to see Clint shrug with one shoulder, “What?” He asks, “We’re not good at this stuff.Never have been, probably won’t ever be.Not really.But we’re talking about it and that’s better than not talking about it right?” He trails off uncertainly and she lets out another groan of frustration.

“We’ve got over fifty years of life experience between us.We should be able to do adult things like talk about feelings and other gross stuff.” She can’t help the way her voice slips into a whine.It’s not that she doesn’t have feelings for her beautiful archer.She absolutely does, but feelings are messy.They create obligations and promises that no one can keep.

“You’re telling me,” Clint agrees, “I always thought I was the worst at this and then I met you.”He says it with a soft affection in his voice and Darcy avoids looking up because she knows she’ll see all those gross feelings she’s trying to avoid on his face. 

“Don’t look at me like that.” 

“Like what? You’re not looking at me. How could you possibly know how I’m looking at you?” He sounds amused now and she risks a glance up to find him wearing her favorite teasing smile.

“You know like what.” She snaps back and then sighs. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I moved back to New York.”Like getting over the first hurdle gives her the strength she needs for the rest she pulls herself up off the counter and looks him in the eye.“You were on a communications black out and I wanted to call and talk to you about it a million times but I knew I couldn’t so it was easier to just not think about it until I was forced to.”

There’s a long pause while he seems to be trying to figure out how to respond and she watches his face smooth out in his classic, I’m hiding my feelings expression.Darcy knows it’s not fair to put any of the blame on his job but she figures all she can do is express her own side of things.She can’t help that his job literally makes it impossible to communicate sometimes. Neither can he but that’s really not the point. 

“Okay.” He finally says, “I can understand that. I wish you’d shot me an email or something so I didn’t have to find out from Nat though.”That, Darcy realizes, is a very good point.

“Fair enough.” She concedes, “I know you hate it when Nat gets to play all knowing big sister.”He smirks at her and Darcy rolls her eyes.

“She lectures me in Russian on communication and emotional maturity Darce. Anyone would hate it.” He gestures wildly with the coffee pot, “Have you ever had to spend a 12 hour flight back from Thailand looking up translations for active listening in a Russian pocket dictionary? No? Then you don’t get to be snarky.”She can tell he’s working himself up into a full scale petulant rant and no matter how much she loves those they tend to be lengthy and it’s not the time.

“I get it. I get it.”Darcy runs hand through her hair before reaching out to snatch at his free hand. “I will attempt to limit the amount of committed sex partner with feelings lectures you get from Big Sister.”His fingers flex against hers.

“Thank you.” He takes a long drink from his coffee and then squeezes her fingers again.“So why are we sneaking around? Not that don’t love a good back alley shag —“ she opens her mouth and he talks over her attempt to interrupt, “but we’ve never intentionally lied about what we’re doing before.” 

“We’ve never advertised it either.” She argues back and he nods in agreement. 

“That’s true,” he agrees, “but I have a feeling if we ran into each other in the tower right now you’d walk right past me and we’ve never played it like that.”He’s back to narrowed eyes and tense shoulders and Darcy feels her stomach tighten.He’s right of course, on all counts.They’ve never pretended to be something they’re not. They’ve just always been something or somewhere that didn’t call attention to itself.

Until now.

Now though.Now they’re not going to be grabbing lunch at a tiny town in New Mexico or stealing time together between ops to go on semi-romantic fuckfest trips.Being together in New York, around the Avengers Tower, around Tony; it’s all going to be so different, so loud.Darcy may be loud and confident, and bold in many parts of her life but she’s got enough going against her by being Tony Stark’s semi secret kid she’s not sure she’s ready to add being Hawkeye’s monogamous romantic partner to the mix.Not yet anyways.

“Darce?” Talk to me here.” His voice is low and she realizes she’s been sitting there chewing on her lip for far too long.

“I was honest last night.” She finally starts.“It’s not that I’m ashamed of you.” He gives her an incredulous look and she groans again. “It’s not!” Her voice rises just a bit in pitch and volume, “I mean have you seen yourself,” she waves a hand at his still shirtless torso, “I’m not insane, I’m very aware that you’re an impressive pull for someone like me.” 

He makes a face she can’t interpret at that and there’s a blush high on his cheeks but she forges ahead, “It’s just I saw my dad in real life for the first time in four years two days ago.My kind of secret dad I might add and we’ve only been talking again at all for the last year and even that’s been spotty. I’m not sure I’m ready to have two big reveals. Like hey I’ve been low key dating Hawkeye and also Tony Stark is my father.” She trails off and Clint lets out a big sigh.

“I get that.” He looks away and she runs her thumbnail over a scar on the back of his hand to get him to turn back to her.His warm blue eyes find hers, “We can do this your way for now but if one of the team asks I think we should just come clean.” 

“Define the team.”

“The Avengers Darce, my team. The people I trust to keep me alive during those communication black outs you’re so fond of.” He sounds annoyed and she finds herself nervously rubbing at his hand, still caught in hers.If there’s one thing she knows after two years it’s that Clint is very touch focused.He’s far more grounded in human contact than words. “That includes your father.” He adds sternly and she huffs out a loud breath.

“What is he going to ask you?Are you engaged in something resembling a relationship with my new R&D lab manager?” She sounds like a bitch even to herself but Clint just squeezes her hand.

“Sure,” he says, taking another gulp of coffee, “if he asks me that I’m going to say yes.Then, because he’s kept you a secret too I might just launch into a full description of how good his new R&D lab manager is in bed. Would teach you both a lesson about secrets.” 

“Pot meet kettle, Mr. Spysassin.You literally lie for a living Clint.” She’s aiming for teasing but she knows she falls short.

“No, I shoot people while playing dress up for a living.” He’s got his smug face on and Darcy wants to lean over the counter and kiss it off him.

“Okay Hawkeye.” She agrees before pulling his hand up to press a kiss to the center of his palm. “I am sorry if doing it this way hurts you.” It’s a rare moment of genuine softness between two people who are usually all snark and he untangles his fingers from hers to cup her cheek. 

“We’re good baby girl.” His eyes are half lidded and relaxed, none of the tightness from before left to be found. “What good are all these spysassin dress up skills if I can’t use them to the benefit of my exclusive emotional support human?”

“That’s a new one,” she laughs, “I’m going to use that one the next time Jane asks me.” 

“I get credit?”

“You always do.” She agrees. 

“Now, since we’re going to be sneaking around your dad’s I’m clearly compensating-for-something-monstrosity tower like horny teenagers tell me the plan.”

“Sure, but first we need to address the fact that you referred to what we did last night in that alley as a shag. Was your last op in the UK or were you recently forced to watch Austin Powers?” Clint groans, dropping his head in shame.

“So close, I was so close to getting away with it.” He looks up at her through his lashes and Darcy feels her chest swell with raw affection.

“You were never going to get away with it,” She quips back, “it was always going to come up again.”

“You’re the worst emotional support human ever.” 

“I’m your favorite.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!   
> If you liked it, I’d love to hear from you!


	3. The Art of Caring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sex, crying, and feelings. Darcy gives Clint a run for his money in the actual human disaster contest.

The days between Darcy’s time at Clint’s and her first real day as the lab manager flies by.She blinks and it’s suddenly Sunday afternoon and she and Clint are laid out over the king size bed in her tower apartment.He’d snuck in to her place late Friday night and hadn’t bothered to leave.They spent the weekend indulging Darcy’s desire to continue avoiding everything about her new living situation that made her anxious.Which meant they’d stayed in, eaten take out, ignored their phones, and caught up on Dog Cops in between bouts of sex.

“Come for me.” Clint’s voice is pitched low with arousal and Darcy wants so desperately to follow orders.He’s had her pinned to the bed, both her wrists caught up in one of his big hands for the last thirty minutes while his other hand moves with devastating precision between her legs.“Do you want to come for me Darcy?” 

“I fucking hate you.”She hisses but the impact is ruined when his fingers curl inside her to hit just the right spot, forcing a moan out of her almost immediately.

“No you don’t.”He’s smug, too smug, the bastard. 

She can still remember the first time he did this to her.They’d been fucking off and on for six months when he sat her down and told her they needed to discuss kinks.Darcy used to like to think she was pretty experienced.She had nothing on Clint.He’d run through a laundry list of things they could try, things he liked, things he thought she’d like based on what they were already doing.This, this was one he liked and she’d developed a very intense love/hate relationship with.

“You have to tell me you want to come Darcy.”He says the words around her nipple before pulling the already swollen flesh into his mouth. She arches into the wet suction just on the edge of something amazing until he bites down hard and she’s left gasping through sharp pain.“You know the rules.” He laves his tongue over her abused breast and she whimpers when the hand between her legs drags at just the right angle.

She does know the rules.Edging, the act of getting close over and over again to make the ultimate fall that much more intense.She’d looked it up the first time he mentioned it, she thought it sounded kind of stupid.She told him so, he laughed, and then he used his fingers, mouth, and cock to keep her riding the razor thin edge of almost coming for 45 minutes before finally getting her off.She’d almost passed out from pleasure and so her love affair was born. 

“Such a good girl.”He whispers the words in her ear, hot breath teasing flushed skin and Darcy lets a shudder of pleasure run through her from the praise. 

This was part of the game, because once Clint realized how much she liked the results of the build up, he of course, got desperate to make her beg for it.He loves when she begs.She turns her head to look at him and feels a thrill at how wrecked he looks.His eyes are blown out with lust, hair sticking up in sweaty spikes, a flush high on his cheeks.He wants her to come and it makes her want to hold off, if she can.

He shifts and the movement causes his palm to brush against her clit, sending white hot sparks out from her center all the way to her fingertips.She sucks in a deep breath grounding herself to stop the orgasm and feels her body relax, but just barely. He’s pressed completely against her side now, she can feel his erection hard against her hip and looking down their bodies she can watch the way his arm muscles flex while he works to destroy her control.His mouth presses against her throat and his fingers settle into a slow deep rhythm that he knows she loves. 

“Look at yourself Darcy.”He talks directly into the sensitive skin behind her ear and she can feel the rumble of his voice against her side. “Spread out for me.Such a good girl for me.I know you’re close.”He curls his fingers pressing down on her g-spot with ridiculous accuracy and she can feel her thighs start shaking with the strain of holding off the rising wave.“I can feel you squeezing my fingers, so tight.” God she loves when he talks to her, “So gorgeous, my gorgeous girl.Tell me Darcy.”The last command comes with a gentle bite on her neck and she leans into it.

“Your gorgeous girl.” She parrots back in between panting breaths.She’s strung tight, all it would take at this point is another pass against her neglected clit and she knows she’ll come so hard she’ll see stars. 

“Tell me you want to come.”He presses against her harder and she arches her back.She wants his mouth back on her tits, she wants to come so badly she can taste it.

“Please.” She finally gasps out and she can feel his smug smug smile against her throat.

“Beg for it.” He demands and she hates him.She begs anyways.

“Please Clint.Let me come.” She doesn’t recognize her own voice.Her whole body has become nothing more than an aching nerve.Her breasts are heavy with the need to be touched and she can feel her heartbeat in her clit.“Pleasepleaseplease, fucking please.Let me come.Please.” She tries to shift to get her nipple closer to his mouth and he lets out a low laugh, his hand never stops moving between her legs.

“Keep going.”He says it almost like an after thought just before he strikes. It’s almost too much movement at once for her lust soaked brain to take in.A shift of abdominal muscles and he’s kneeling over her, his head ducking to wrap that perfect mouth around one taut nipple, sucking it in with just the right amount of teeth and Darcy keeps up her litany of pleases as he presses his palm down on her clit roughly grinding against the sensitive nub.

Her eyes slam shut and her mind whites out.There’s no other way to explain the way all rational thought flies from her as the orgasm roars through her body with blinding force.Every muscle she has goes impossibly tight as she rides the wave of sharp pleasure and she’s spasming wildly around his fingers and then something so much bigger and “fucking Christ!” She can’t stop the shouted exclamation when the tail end of her first release suddenly crests again this time around what can only be his cock. 

“Fuck Darcy.” He almost sounds like he’s in pain but she’s too strung out to care.He’s still got her hands pinned, his hips moving up into her with hard, deep thrusts but she’s gone boneless in the aftermath of her own orgasm and she does nothing to help him out.The hand that only moments before had been pumping into her with careful precision is gripping one of her thighs with bruising force while he moves over and in her.“Fuck, so good.So perfect.Fuck.”She can tell he’s close.So close. From somewhere far away she can still hear herself muttering please over and over again as his pelvic bone brushes against her sensitive clit until his mouth comes down to swallow her voice. 

She knows the moment he comes, the hand still holding her wrists starts to clench and his mouth goes slack against hers.She gasps out a high whine as he thrusts up into her once, twice, more, sharp and deep before he stills over her. His groan makes another electric shock of need course through her over-sensitive body.He doesn’t pull out right away but he does release her arms and Darcy feels everything in her relax into his weight settling over her.His hands rub at flushed skin, trailing feather light touches over her hair, shoulders, hips, and thighs, everything he can reach from his position as a human blanket over her. 

“So good. So good Darce.God, so perfect.Perfect gorgeous girl.You wreck me every time baby girl. So good.”He says the words into her neck and her hair and mouth and Darcy melts even further into the bed.She loves this part too.Aftercare the internet calls it.Worship is a better word Darcy thinks for the way Clint handles her after he’s taken her apart.She feels his weight lift and she dares to open her eyes for the first time since she came to find him watching her. 

“ _You’re_ so good.” She manages to say and she actually sounds like she’s slurring a bit.It’s worth it though when he gets that bashful look that praise always brings up.“So good.” She repeats herself and he presses a soft kiss to her lips, brushing hair off her sweaty forehead. 

“Cock drunk.” He accuses and Darcy decides he sounds way too smug.

“Am not.” She’ll show him.Not right now admittedly but soon.She’s more than capable of making him sound like this too.

“Are too.”He teases, rolling very carefully to the side as he speaks.She whimpers at the loss of him and there’s a rush of wetness between her thighs that she just knows she’s going to end up sleeping in.“So that was a good one then?” He asks and Darcy snorts.

“Yea hot shot.That was a good one.I don’t think I can walk yet.Not sure I even have legs anymore.” She waves a lazy hand, “Lift my head for me so I can see if I still have legs.”He laughs and tucks a hand behind her neck, scratching softly at her scalp rather than lifting. 

“Come here.” He pulls at her bodily, shifting them both around the bed until he’s got her tucked up tight against his chest, fully encased in his heat.She rolls to face him and presses her nose into his neck, inhaling deeply. 

“I really missed you this time.”She doesn’t know where the confession comes from but it’s suddenly threatening to overwhelm her with it’s strength.His arms tighten around her and Darcy feels shame flood through her when her throat tightens and her eyes fill with tears.She tries to hold it back but it just builds in waves and on the first hitched breath she feels him go impossibly still.

“Darce?” He pulls away and she tries to keep her face turned but he grips her chin with gentle fingers.She finds herself looking up at him through tear blurred eyes and embarrassment is the straw that finally breaks the dam, forcing the first real sob through her.“Oh, baby girl.” He doesn’t sound patronizing or upset, just understanding and it’s almost worse somehow.

“I’m so sorry.”She chokes the words out between hitched breaths and he shakes his head.

“Nothing to be sorry for.” He pulls her close again, one hand tangling up in her hair the other rubs big comforting circles on her back while she cries against his chest. “Such a good girl.It’s okay.It’s going to be okay.I missed you too.So much Darce.”He keeps up a stream of soft reassurance and praise while she sobs until she’s got her breathing under control. Then he keeps going until she’s so exhausted by the outburst she could almost fall asleep right there but she knows she needs to get up. 

It takes real effort to move away and push off his hands to shuffle into her attached bathroom.She closes the door behind her with a soft click and leans against the vanity, staring at herself in the mirror.She looks like a disaster.Her hair is a tangled mess, her eyes are puffy from crying, and there’s snot on her face.That’s all without cataloging the multiple hickeys that are clearly going to form up over the tops of her breasts and her hips and thighs.She takes a deep shuddering breath and lets it out slowly.

Darcy has never cried after sex.She’s never understood books and movies that show women crying after sex. So of course it happens for the first time after having absolutely mind blowing sex with the hottest man she’s ever brought to bed and of course he handles it fucking perfectly.Another hot flush of embarrassment threatens to bring up a fresh wave of tears and she pushes it away.She can hear him moving around the bedroom through the door so she turns on the sink and splashes cold water on her face before taking care of the required after sex pee.She does not need a UTI on top of everything else.

She’s just trying to figure out how to blame the crying on her period despite Clint being very aware that she has an IUD and hasn’t actually had a period in 18 months when there’s a soft knock on the bathroom door.“Darce, can I come in?” He sounds hesitant and she hates that she made him feel bad for something that is clearly her problem.

“Yeah.” She calls out softly and watches the door start to move.

“You okay?” He’s pulled on a pair of boxer briefs and he’s holding bundled fabric in both hands.“I brought you a shirt.”He holds out the larger bundle and Darcy snatches the soft purple tshirt from him immediately, tugging it on.It’s one of his favorites and it smells like him in a way that makes her chest ache.“And this.”He holds out the smaller bundle but she doesn’t move to take it.

“What—?” She trails off still trying to avoid his eyes.

“Ice, for your eyes.”He steps more fully into the bathroom and pushes himself up on the counter, reaching out to pull her until she’s standing between the V of his legs. “Here, close them.” She does as asked and he carefully presses the damp towel folded around ice against her eyes. Darcy leans into the relief it brings her hot skin.

“I’m sorry.”It’s easier to think and talk with her eyes covered. 

“Why?” He sounds genuinely confused and his fingers brush against her cheek as he tucks a loose curl behind her ear.

“We just had amazing sex and then I cried on you.” She let’s out a sharp laugh, “I’m pretty sure my snot is literally drying on your very glorious pecs as we speak.”He huffs his own laugh at that. 

“Yep,” he agrees, “and your cum is currently drying on my dick and my thighs, and all 10 of my fingers.”She can tell he’s trying to make a joke out of it to make her feel better but she can’t help the way her lips press together in a pained line.“Okay, okay.Here look.”He starts again, pulling the washcloth away from her face and the bathroom is too bright, everything thrown into stark relief by her tangled mind.“Can we take a break for a second.”

“Take a break from what?” She asks feeling dread pool in her stomach.

“A break from the whole we’re not together but we’re together, emotions are the enemy thing we’ve got going on.”It’s not even remotely what she expects him to say.

“Okay.” She drags the word out, not sure where he’s headed. 

“Okay.” He agrees and then reaches out to cup her face in both his hands.His thumbs rub gently over her cheekbones and Darcy looks down, focusing on the contrast of his black boxer briefs against his tan thighs.There’s a loose thread on the right leg and she reaches out to play with it.“Look at me Darcy.”It’s the use of her full name that gets her.Clint is all about nicknames except when he’s giving orders.Usually she’s Darce or baby girl unless they’re in bed.

“I’m looking.”She is too.Finally staring at his face, his beautiful blue green eyes watching her with so much sincerity from behind their dark blond lashes.He takes a deep breath like he’s preparing for something. 

“I care about you.”It’s said with so much conviction she wants to look away again.Instead she just flexes the hand still resting on his thigh.“I know you don’t do labels and I am ok being your basically 100% committed romantic partner but I need you to understand that just because we’re not using traditional terms to describe what we have going on here doesn’t make you any less important to me.” 

He’s watching her so carefully that with his training Darcy is very aware he can’t possibly miss the way her breath catches or how her eyes widen just a bit.“I care about you Darcy Lewis and that means if you need to cry after sex every now and then, even if I end up with snot on my glorious pecs I’m here for it.”He pauses for a long moment, “Do you understand?” 

“I —“ she has no idea what to say.This is so far beyond anywhere they’ve gone before and there’s so much to unpack she feels adrift.“Yes?” She finally gets out. 

“Are you sure?”He asks, his thumbs brush over her cheeks again and it’s such a tender thing she almost wants to cry again.“If you know nothing else for sure I need you to know this Darcy.” 

“Jesus.” She gasps out the word.“I just... yes.I understand.I really do.”She snaps her mouth shut before she ends up babbling. 

“Good.” He says it like they’ve sealed some kind of deal.“We can resume our regularly scheduled programming then.You wanna eat Cinnamon Toast Crunch with me and watch a movie before bed?”Darcy feels like she’s got emotional whiplash. 

“Fuck yes.” She gasps out, shoulders slumping in relief at the very familiar request and the smile that lights up his face is absolutely blinding. 

“Good because it’s hard work keeping you going like that for so long.” He drops his hands from her face and jumps down from the counter. “My forearm was cramping like crazy right before you came.I might have to skip going to the range tomorrow.”He’s almost halfway out of the bathroom before Darcy realizes she needs to move, to make her body function again after what just happened.“You coming?” He looks back to her and it shocks her into motion.She jerks forward to follow him out of the bathroom and into the familiar warmth of post sex snacking. 

It’s hours later, after they’ve eaten all the cereal, watched a terrible action movie to unwind, taken a very efficient orgasm free group shower, and are back in the bed curled up together in the dark that it hits her.Like her brain has finally caught up with everything he said, filtering it through her own tangled mess of emotions and compartmentalized damage. 

“Clint?” There’s no reaction and for a dumb moment Darcy thinks he must be asleep until she realizes he’s not wearing his hearing aids.So she rolls over, pushing at his loose sleepy limbs until they’re nose to nose in the dark of the room.She pokes at him until his eyes drift open and she can see the question there.Leaning up on an elbow so she can speak directly into his right ear where he still has just enough hearing.“I care about you too.” 

His arms tighten around her and he tugs her back down so their foreheads are pushed together.“Good.”He says softly. “Not going anywhere Darce.”He presses a soft kiss to her mouth, “Go to sleep baby girl. Big day tomorrow.” 

So she does. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was short one but there will be another update later this week to make up for it.  
> Thank you to everyone who’s read, commented, subscribed, and left kudos. It’s been so incredible to see all the reactions to this fic after working so hard on it! 
> 
> Still no beta, so all mistakes are mine. If you notice something please let me know so I can fix it. 
> 
> If you liked the chapter I’d love to hear from you — it makes me incredibly happy!


	4. Clint Interlude #1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint finally gets to share his thoughts on how things are going.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is 1 of 4 chapters mixed into the whole work where Clint interjects his thoughts on things. This one picks up immediately post the previous chapter and gives some additional insight into how these two got together. 
> 
> I owe BoudicaMuse a thank you for encouraging me to post these interludes.

Clint does not go to sleep.Instead he waits until Darcy’s breathing evens out into the slow rhythm of a REM cycle before carefully rolling over onto his back.He stares up at the smooth ceiling of her apartment and tries to sort through his swirling thoughts.

There’s minimal light in the high rise room, despite floor to ceiling windows, but he doesn’t need much to look over at the woman sleeping beside him.After two years Clint feels like he has every dip and curve of Darcy Lewis pretty much memorized. From the sharp angle of her cheek bones to the soft curve of her lips down to the swell of her breasts into her narrow waist and right back out to those hips he loves to hold.She’s his very own pin-up model, nothing but wicked lines and bedroom eyes. 

More than that though, he has the moods of Darcy Lewis memorized, or he thought he did.Tonight threw him for a loop.He rolls his eyes back up to the ceiling with a soft sigh.Clint is very aware that he’s got more hanging on whatever it is they’re doing together than Darcy does.He’s known since the first time she smiled at him, her eyes bright, and her wit sharp that he was going to end up completely and irreparably gone on her.It hadn’t taken long either.One night in New Mexico where she let him _absolutely fucking worship_ her and he was a lost cause.

He’d tried to play it cool afterwards, assuming it was a one time thing but it was like the universe had other plans and they’d been thrown together over and over in the run up to the Destroyer and then after.So he’d continued to say yes when Darcy asked him up to her tiny apartment over the run down lab building in Peunte Antiguo.Figuring he should take what he could get.Then he’d been called up for another op and he’d put his number in her phone while she was sleeping, figured she’d find it if she really needed it.He hadn’t expected anything.It only took two days for the first text to arrive and suddenly they were talking anytime he wasn’t on a comms blackout.

The first topless picture was a surprise, though a great one.Clint wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth, he’d spent too long with too little for that.He’s willing to take what the universe gives him at this point and if the universe wants to give him topless photos of Darcy’s epic tits he isn’t going to say no.But topless pictures turned into dirty talk, which turned into phone sex, which turned into long, late night, after orgasm talks about life.Before he knew it, he was booking flights to New Mexico after ops to see her in person and they were taking short trips together. 

Then Loki happened.Clint assumed that would be the end of things but it wasn’t.Instead, as soon as he was cleared for travel he found himself on a quinjet with Nat and if his partner thought he was an idiot for being confused as they landed in New Mexico and she pushed him into Darcy’s waiting arms she never said.That was the turning point, when things went from something completely casual to something just a little bit committed.Just a little bit more real. Still, he and Darcy never talked about it.Not really, and Clint wasn’t going to mess up what was quickly becoming the most important relationship in his life just to figure out what was going on.

Now here they are, a little over a year post Loki, on the other side of two more massive life events thanks to the Tony with the Mandarin and fucked up Space Elves, and Clint is just at a loss.He’s been casual through the funny this isn’t really a relationship names Darcy likes, he’s carefully avoided bringing up feelings, he’s bitten his lips practically raw holding in anything even close to what he wants to say.Until tonight.Not that ‘I care about you’ is what he wanted to say.His gut tells him what he wanted to say would have sent Darcy running for the hills. 

A shift in the bedding snaps all his attention right back to the woman in question and he reacts just in time to catch a flailing hand inches from his face.Clint lets out a slow breath and reaches out for Darcy’s tense body.It’s been like this since London, and damn if he doesn’t hate himself for not being next to her through that clusterfuck.He’s seen the videos though, Darcy racing around dodging massive chunks of space debris while creepy space elves reach for her.Her mouth on that fucking intern, Jesus he’d had to push that frustration down, _hard_. He knows what living through the end of the world is like, he would never begrudge her a life affirming celebration even if she chose to celebrate with a kiss. The intern isn’t a threat to what Clint wants but it doesn’t mean there aren’t threats out there.  He tightens his hold on her to prevent another wild swing and gets her right up against him, tucking his face up into the hair behind her ear. 

“Shh baby girl.”She doesn’t relax completely but she does go still enough that he feels like he can free her wrist and use his hand to rub circles against her back.“I got ya Darce.It’s okay.”He knows she’s making noise, he’d put in his aids the first time she’d started thrashing him almost six months ago.The soft whimpers and keening panicked sounds coming from her throat had done terrible things for his own calm so he doesn’t bother to listen anymore.Just holds her close until it passes.He has no idea how she manages when they’re not together.Another thing they don’t talk about. 

He holds her tight until she goes lax and her breathing evens out.he knows they both have their demons.Fuck, he’s a thirty-three year old ex-carnie with a GED and a bow who was brainwashed by an alien.Avenger or not, he doesn’t have much to offer except quite a bit of combat pay and his delightful company.Darcy doesn’t need the money, Tony will always take care of her, and while she seems to enjoy the company he can’t help but wonder for how long.He’s only getting older and she’s only getting closer to her prime.Even this move to New York is just one step closer to her finally stepping up and into the global empire destiny she’s had since she was born.

Darcy twitches against him again and Clint hums softly to her, whispering nonsense until she stills.Moving.Her moving to New York, hadn’t that just been a kick in the teeth he didn’t need.He knows, _he knows_ , that he’s the more invested one but forgetting to tell him? Nat had a field day when he’d shown up the day after the party with Darcy’s explanation for both the move and the continued secrecy.Nat likes Darcy but Nat does not like where Darcy’s attitude towards feelings leaves Clint.Most notably, desperately in lovewith a woman who doesn’t outwardly appear to be in love with him.

It brings him all the way back to the events earlier tonight.He thought he had all of Darcy’s moods memorized.Normally forty-five minutes of hanging on the edge by her fingers tips would leave his girl a loose, very satisfied, mess.He loves loose, satisfied Darcy, he’s got a picture buried deep on his phone to prove it, but instead she’d clearly suffered some kind of emotional release.She’s not the first woman to cry on him after sex, hell, he’s cried after sex before, but for the carefully controlled woman in his arms it felt like the equivalent of a full mental break.He can’t really fault her, it’s been a rough couple months.So he’d done what would have been unthinkable even six months ago, he told her he cared, and then she’d returned the feeling. He lets out another slow breath into her hair.It’s something at least. 

It’ll have to be enough.He’ll have to _make_ it be enough because he’s not going anywhere.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who’s been reading, commenting, subscribing, and leaving kudos! You all are amazing! 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! If you did (or even if you didn’t) I’d love to hear from you. 
> 
> Thanks!


	5. First Day on the Job

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy has a busy first day and spends a little girl talk time with Jane.

Darcy is late. 

It’s her first day as the R&D Lab Manager for Stark Industries New York and she is so incredibly late.She woke up on time but then Clint was wrapped around her like a big muscled octopus which led to a fifteen minute delay in leaving the bed followed by redoing her eyeliner six times to get just the right wing and it all just came to a big craptastic pinnacle when she couldn’t find the blazer she’d wanted to wear in the box labeled ‘Darcy super boring work clothes’.By the time she leaves her bedroom she’s preparing herself for the rest of the day to just be one big slide downhill into terrible, but the sight of Clint standing near the door stops her short.He’s still only in his black boxer briefs from the night before, his hair sticking up in every direction, but he’s holding a brown paper bag and a coffee thermos. 

“What have you done?” Darcy can’t help the way the question comes out around a smile.He looks cute as fuck and she watches mesmerized as a blush runs down his neck, one foot coming up to scratch bashfully at his calf. 

“You’re running late.” He says, “I thought you’d want coffee.”He holds out the travel mug and she takes the offer as chance to step closer, right up into his space. 

“And that?” She nods to the brown bag still clutched in his other hand. 

“I thought maybe you’d want lunch?” He mumbles the words, slurring them together so badly Darcy almost has to ask him to repeat himself. 

Instead, she presses herself against his chest and pushes her face into his neck. What happened last night is still on the edge of her awareness like the emotional exchange created some kind of bubble.One where she can exist in this apartment as something more than a non-platonic life mate with Clint Barton and her brain is okay with it.She has to leave though, break the surface tension, and enter the real world again where every time she turns around there’s another reminder that feelings like this lead to risk. To getting hurt. 

Still though, the most beautiful man she’s ever seen made her a bag lunch for her first day of work. Her throat feels tight again and she quickly swallows around it. 

“What’d you make me?” She aims for flirty and she can tell she’s almost managed it based on the way his shoulders relax.

“You’ll have to wait until lunchtime.” He teases back and Darcy feels like they’re back on familiar territory.“No peeking.” 

“Gimme.”She grabs at the bag and he lifts it over his head which has the added benefit of stretching his abdominal muscles against her.

“Are you going to be good and wait for lunch?” He’s got an arm wrapped around her waist now and a mock stern expression on his face.

“Yes?” She tries to look innocent but she knows she’s failing miserably.

“I’ll have to believe you because you’re late.” He presses a quick chaste kiss to her mouth and slaps a hand down on her ass.“Get going boss.” 

“Shit! Yes, thank you.”Darcy rushes through the rest of it as he steps away.She fumbles, gathering up keys, her bag, and stepping into shoes before lunging up to grab another quick kiss. “See you later?”She whispers the words against his mouth.

“Always darlin’,” he agrees, and then, “go. Go.”He shoos her out the door. 

Darcy ends up skidding to a halt in front of Pepper only ten minutes behind schedule, she would have been 3 minutes earlier but she’d stood in the hallway outside her apartment for several long minutes trying to remember why she couldn’t just go back in and drag Clint into bed.Closing the box in her mind with his name on it took longer than it used to.

“Good morning.” Pepper is upbeat in her perfectly tailored suit and conservatively pale patent leather pumps.Darcy has no doubt they’re red soled.

“I’m so sorry I’m late.” Darcy straightens up, tugging her own blazer down.She’s still juggling her bag, the lunch, and the massive coffee mug.She takes a deep breath.“It won’t happen again.”

Pepper smiles indulgently, “Can’t be late when you’re the boss.” She teases, “Come on, I’m here to get you settled in and then it’s up to you.” 

“Lead on then.”Darcy waves an arm in an invitation to start the settling. 

Settling in turns out to mean making sure Darcy signs the reams of NDAs and other paperwork left on her desk. It’s a reminder that Pepper has known her since she was a child because Darcy would definitely have ignored them all without proper supervision.Sign them she does, although not without grumbling about how ridiculous is it to have NDAs for the person who will inherit the company.Pepper is quick to point out that HR is unaware of the familial connection. 

Then there’s a tour which is mostly just a lot of introductions and reintroductions from the welcome party.Darcy gets to see the labs of Dr. White and Dr. Burns, they say hi quickly to Dr. Ben Mathers (again call me Ben), Dr. Banner is a friendly face, Jane is not in her lab (not surprising given the time), and then they’re back at Darcy’s office.

“I thought there were six labs?” Darcy asks Pepper as she settles the travel mug back on the edge of the desk.It’s a tasteful but bland office, she can fix that. 

“There are.” Pepper is leaning against the door jam in a very un-Pepper-like display of nerves. 

“Where’s the sixth one then?”Darcy shifts through the paperwork on her desk, reaching for her new Stark issued tablet to double check the directory listings. She glances back up to Pepper and feels a stone drop into her stomach at the look on her face. “Pep? Tell me you’re not serious?”

“It would have been the sixth lab no matter who was hired Darcy.”Pepper sounds far too calm considering. “He’s technically the head of R&D not the CEO anymore.”

“I’m sure anyone else who was hired would have had his name included on their on-boarding paperwork but he wasn’t on mine.”Darcy snaps back. 

“He was,” Pepper starts, “or well his workshop was on all your paperwork.”

“But not his name.” Darcy can feel her blood pressure rising and she takes a deep breath.She can do this.He isn’t the dad she’s barely speaking to at work.He’s just Tony Stark, playboy billionaire, philanthropist, and very talented engineer.

“No,” Pepper finally agrees, “not his name.” 

“Was that his idea or yours?” Darcy asks and she forces herself to sound calm.“Actually, it doesn’t matter. It’s fine. We’ll be fine. I’ll be fine.” 

Pepper raises an eyebrow like she thinks they’ll be anything except for fine but when she opens her mouth she agrees.“Glad to hear it.I was going to take you to lunch but I see you brought one.”Pepper nods down to the paper bag on the edge of the desk and Darcy feels her face heat in a blush.

“Oh, yes.I figured it’d be a busy day.” She stumbles over the words and Pepper’s knowing look. 

“Well if you managed to keep yourself fed all weekend I have no doubt your lunch will be wonderful.”There’s a double meaning hidden in Pepper’s words somewhere but Darcy doesn’t want to look too hard for it.“Drinks after work? I’ll let you yell at me properly for the surprise.”Pepper wheedles a bit.

“Fine. I’m bringing Jane.” Darcy agrees. 

“Excellent.” Pepper claps her hands together.“If you need anything just ask Jarvis.” She gives Darcy a familiar smile, “Have a good day sweetie.”The last part is said softly, the childhood nickname barely a balm over the rest of the conversation.

“You too, Pep.” Darcy lets the conversation end on a good note, waits until Pepper is around the corner, slams the door shut, and screams. 

Despite her worst fears she manages to get through the day without seeing Tony.She spends the morning reviewing emails, digging through old reports, and trying to figure out her predecessor’s filing system.There’s a lot of missing data on some of the research projects, particularly Section 41, which from what Darcy can tell is the code name for Dr. White’s secondary classified project.She sets all of it aside for a closer review later.She’s not looking forward to any extra time spent with Dr. White’s wandering eyes. 

Lunch turns out to be adorable.Clint packed her a PB&J, chips, and an apple with a ridiculous note about the merits of her tits scrawled on a paper towel in sharpie. 

The afternoon she spends making rounds of the different research spaces, mostly introducing herself to the assistants she didn’t meet in the morning and making quick mental notes about missing supplies and changes to make. 

It’s an hour before she needs to drag Jane out of the lab to grab drinks with Pepper when her phone starts to vibrate it’s way across her desk with incoming texts.There is only one person in Darcy’s life who texts like that, every sentence it’s own message.Clint.She can already feel herself tensing up in preparation. 

**Called up for a quick one.**

**Nat coming with.**

**Somewhere with french fries.**

**Four days ish — max.**

Darcy stares down at the string of messages for a long moment before the last one arrives. 

**Already miss you.**

She scans the messages again and feels her shoulders slump with some relief.The line about french fries at least means he’ll be somewhere with paved roads, it’s an old key phrase that means wherever he’s going has McDonalds.Natasha going along is also reassuring.A quick glance up at her open office door and she spins in her chair so she’s facing the wall, her back to the door.

Gnawing on her lip she tries to figure out how to reply.It doesn’t help that she knows she’s on a deadline.He’ll leave his personal phone at home which means if she wants him to read whatever she has to say she needs to send it before he manages to get to the his rally point.She stares down at the phone, tapping her nails against the arm of the chair.

If she’s honest with herself Darcy knows exactly what she wants to write back.She wants to tell him that he’s definitely more to her than she lets on and she avoids talking about it because making it real would mean opening herself up to the paralyzing fear of loss that comes with every one of these missions.She wants to tell him that when he’s away and she forgets to ignore his absence she can’t breathe.She doesn’t know when it happened or how but he’s become so incredibly important to her. Instead she sends:

**I’ll miss you too.Be careful.**

She’s just trying to decide if she should add the smiley face with the heart eyes or send him one of the many topless pics she’s got stockpiled to show him what he’ll be missing when a knock on the door has her jumping out of her skin.Her phone flies from a flailing hand and she almost over balances the office chair in an effort to turn. 

“Fucking Christ!” She takes a gasping breath around the exclamation as both hands slam down on the desk to stabilize herself. 

“I’d have thought you’d stop talking to Jesus now that you know real gods exist.”Tony is leaning in the doorway, looking far too calm for his own good. 

“What are you doing here Tony?” Darcy can’t help the fierce bite in her tone.

Tony glances up and down the empty hallway outside the office and then leans forward to say conspiratorially, “Mr. Stark would probably be better if you’re trying to keep your cover.”Darcy let’s out a frustrated groan and takes a deep breath.

“How can I help you Mr. Stark?” She asks, her voice dripping with poison sugar.

“I wanted to let you know I’ll be away for a few days.” Tony says, his voice louder than before, “Four or so to be more exact but I didn’t want our new lab manager to worry.”

“Oh.” Darcy feels a little shock go through her.If Tony is going on the same op it must be more serious than Clint is letting on.“Anything serious?” She asks wondering if it’s a full assemble but pulls herself back from that train of thought.She can just text Jane to find out anyways.Thor sucks at classified info. 

“Not really.”He sounds casual but then he ducks fully into the office and closes the door behind him.“When I’m back I was hoping you might want to get dinner.Could go to one of our old haunts. My treat obviously, I mean your entire existence is technically my treat but you know what I mean.”Tony trails off and Darcy feels a surge of affection for him flood her chest.Loving her father has never been the problem though. 

Still, no reason to turn down a good time, “Hot chocolate and throwing frisbees at hippies in the meadows?” 

“This is why you’ve always been my favorite daughter.” Tony quips back, “I have access to repulsor gauntlets now. Not sure how they contribute here but I feel like there’s something of merit there.”He reaches out to fidget with a stack of papers, “Don’t you think there’s something there? Repulsor frisbees? No, that’s terrible.”

“If you counter balanced the weight of the propulsion device with a heavy enough metal you could probably make them pretty accurate.” Darcy can’t help it.This one of the things she missed most about Tony for the last four years. 

“Huh,” he gives her an appraising look, “someone paid attention in intro to engineering in college.” 

“Someone grew up in your workshop.” She snarks back.

“Despite Pepper’s best efforts to the contrary.”He agrees. “So you up for it?When I’m back.” He’s watching her carefully and only his sill hands give away how much he’s waiting for her answer.

“Yes. I’d like that.”She finally says.This is what they were supposed to be working their way back to. 

“Okay.” He pushes back from the desk.“Four days. It’s not a bad one kiddo, nothing to worry about.”

“Thanks, da— Tony.” Darcy catches herself at the last minute and she can see the way it hits in his eyes. 

“Sure thing.Don’t drink too much with Pep tonight.She runs a company now you know.” He’s already back to fast talking and she watches him reach for the door handle, but he turns back, “If it’s going to be longer than four days I’ll call you.” Darcy feels something deep in her chest uncurl.

“That would be—“ She trails off around a thick voice, “very helpful.”

“Don’t break my department.” He calls out as a parting shot and she’s alone again. 

Darcy counts to a hundred, picks up her phone off the floor, and then practically runs down the hall to Jane’s lab.Between the crying last night, the conversation with Clint, and now Tony she’s ready to burst with emotional turmoil.Mental boxes ready to explode. She barely feels the doors of the lab slide shut behind her before she’s talking, moving between pieces of equipment as she goes. “Jane! I swear to Thor I’m either about to have my first period in two years or I’ve been invaded by the body snatchers because I have — fuck” Darcy trails off as she round the last machine and finds Jane standing next to Dr. Ben Mathers.

“We thought we had a body snatcher incident last year,” Ben says with a smile, “but it turned out Dr. Cutler was mixing up his thyroid medicine with his step-son’s anti-psychotics.” 

“Wait, seriously?” Darcy does a double take, “How does that kind of mix-up get mistaken for a body snatcher incident?What was being researched that even made a body snatcher incident a possibility? Do I need to develop prescription protocols for the staff?”

“I’m sure Ben was joking Darcy.”Jane interjects while throwing a look at Ben that clearly says, please agree with me.

“Yes, only a joke.” Ben says with a little laugh, “No need for more protocols.Sounds like you’re having quite a first day without them.”

“Oh, that.” Darcy looks to Jane but her supposed BFF just stares back, “That’s just a code we use from our many years of research together and...” Darcy trails off, “Okay, yeah.I need a few minutes alone with Dr. Foster to talk about girl things and I am very aware that this is incredibly unprofessional but would you be willing to give them to me?” 

Ben laughs, “Not that I’m happy to go but by all means.”He turns to Jane, “I’ll stop by in the morning Dr. Foster and we can pick this up.I’d love to hear more about your vibrational sound theory.”

“Excellent. I can show you the graph we plotted when we were in Norway during the wormhole incident with the Chithari.You’ll be very interested in the way the frequencies of what we were able to track—”

Darcy can sense a science rant with the best of them and she cuts Jane off at the pass, “Okay Janie, Ben said he’d come back in the morning for the fun stuff. Right Ben? Great.So see you later.”Darcy doesn’t wait for a reply just grabs Jane by the hand and drags her bodily into the office off the back of the lab.

“Is this office soundproof?” She asks Jane pressing herself against the closed door. 

“How would I know the answer to that?” Jane gives her an impatient look, the look of a scientist pulled away from her newest toy, “You’re the one responsible for lab facilities. Is the door soundproof?” 

“Jesus, fuck, everyone today with the criticism!” Darcy decides not to risk hoping the door is soundproof and instead pokes her head out to make sure Ben is gone before closing it again. “Jarvis privacy protocols for Dr. Foster’s lab.No recordings in this room.” 

“Of course Darcy.”The AI replies almost instantly.

“Who was that?” Jane is immediately on high alert, “Is there a man listening to my lab?”

“What? Jane no. What!?” Darcy is beyond frustrated and a little flustered. She’s flustrated.Clint will love that.She immediately wants to text him and then remembers the op and why she’s here in Jane’s back office in the first place.“I need to talk to you.”

“We’re not talking about anything until you explain the man who just spoke from the ceiling.” Jane crosses her arms over the chest and levels Darcy with her most menacing stare.Unfortunately, Darcy is well acquainted with said stare after hours of middle of the night research negotiations and is not quelled in the slightest.

“It’s not a man. It’s Jarvis. We talked about this already! He’s the AI that runs all Stark properties and he’s not in your lab, he’s technically everywhere he just doesn’t talk to everyone.I explained this, with the you using my servers and the digital notes and the organization.” Darcy rushes through the explanation and watches Jane’s face go from stern to fascinated.

“Is he a true artificial intelligence?How long as he been learning? Does he follow Asimov’s laws?What do you mean he doesn’t talk to everyone?” The questions come rapid fire.

“Yes. At least 19 years. Yes, I think, although Tony programmed him so let’s go with maybe. He talks to me, Tony too and anyone else with permission to use him but he’s not available as an interactive resource to the entire staff.The processing resources needed for that would be insane.” Darcy rushes out the answers in what feels like a single breath.“Jane, I need to talk to you. I will answer all the questions you want about Jarvis over drinks with Pepper but I am at like Defcon 5 here.”

“You know 5 is the good one right?Where everything is happy and safe.”Jane can have some serious snark when she wants to.

“Fine one! Defcon 1 then.Jesus.” Darcy whines.

“You should know these things. You’re the one dating a spy.”Jane whines right back.

“See that’s what we need to talk about.Am I ‘dating’ a spy? Or am I just crying on one after sex? And why did my kind of estranged father, who’s lab I am apparently responsible for by the way, show up today to invite me to hang out with him? And why did I say yes? And are the Avengers on an assemble because Clint, Natasha, and Tony are all leaving today for a suspiciously similar amount of time!”Darcy practically wheezes out the last part, her body so out of breath from the speed rant she can no longer make sound.

“Okay, we’re going to need to take those one at a time.So from the bottom, no, or at least I don’t think so because Thor’s making us Chicken Kiev for dinner.” Jane drops down into her office chair and Darcy snorts.

“Thor is making you Chicken Kiev?” She asks, pulling herself up to sit on top of the desk.

“He found a cookbook.” Jane says primly.

“And you’re going to eat it? Do you remember the beef stroganoff Jane?” Darcy laughs out loud at the memory.They’d barely managed to choke it down.

“He promised he wouldn’t improvise this time.” Jane’s defense of her alien boyfriend is adorable, “That’s not the point though.” Jane continues and Darcy snorts holding back her strong opinion to the contrary, “The point is he hasn’t texted to say we’re not having dinner which means it’s not all of them.”Darcy nods.

“Okay, that’s one down. What about Tony inviting me out?” Darcy pauses and then adds, “After, I might add, I found out he and Pepper appear to have conspired to hide that part of my job is managing his workshop.” 

“That’s a two parter.” Jane agrees, “As for Tony asking you to do something it makes sense.He misses you.He wants to spend time with you doing fun things.” 

“I’m not sure I’m ready for this.” Darcy admits and she appreciates the sympathetic noise her best friend makes.

“You are.I know he hurt you with the Iron Man thing and he broke a promise—“

“A pinky swear.” Darcy interjects.

“A pinky swear,” Jane agrees with a roll of her eyes, “but he’s still your dad Darce.He’s always going to be your dad and you don’t want to go through the rest of life without him because you’re both the most stubborn people to ever live.” 

It’s not a bad point but, “He still hasn’t apologized for it.” Darcy points out and Jane rolls her eyes again.

“It’s been four years and like 15 near death experiences for both of you.If you still need an apology you probably need to ask for it. I bet he’d do it.” Jane has always been far too practical.That’s the problem, Jane’s too practical for this kind of talk. She’s not understanding the ways in which all of theses things add up and matter so very much to the irrational 19 year old still screaming inside Darcy about her secret father almost dying. 

“Let’s put a pin in that nugget of maturity real quick and jump to the lying about my job thing. I mean that’s fucked up right?” Darcy asks feeling like she has to win this one at least.

“That,” Jane looks away and back, a sure fire tell, “that was me.”

“Et tu Janie!” Darcy’s off the desk and pacing on her heels.“What do you mean that was you?” She turns to look back at the tiny woman with hands on her hips.

“You’d already agreed to take the job when Pepper brought it up and I suggested that keeping it vague might prevent unnecessary stress during the move.” Jane at least has the good sense to look ashamed, and then, “I’m not sorry about it either.If you’d found out before we left New Mexico we’d still be at the dealership with no funding or worse, working for SHIELD.”

She’s not wrong. “You could have come without me?” Darcy tries but Jane is already shaking her head no.

“I would never have come without you.I would have taken the SHIELD offer with you or gone on a grant writing spree but there was no next step without you.”Jane argues.

“Aww, Janie.”

“Darcy.”

“You really are my platonic life mate.” Darcy coos pulling herself back up onto the desk. “I’m going to be background upset for about 2 days about this though.” 

“Completely justified.” Jane agrees with a solemn nod. “I wouldn’t have argued if you needed 3 days.” 

“Nah, I get it and you’re right about not coming if I’d known.Honestly his attempt to make nice this afternoon may have done more good than I thought.It was nice you know?We even talked a little engineering, like we used to, bouncing ideas around and it was so familiar.I missed that.”Darcy waves a hand around as she speaks like she can pull the memories of a childhood spent building cool shit out of thin air to show her friend.

“He’s your dad Darcy.You’re allowed to love and miss your dad.”Jane says it so matter of fact it’s like a physical blow. Rather than deal with that new thought Darcy carefully tucks everything away in her Tony box and pushes ahead.

“What about Clint?” She asks.

“What about him?” Jane replies, “What is this about crying after sex?I thought you two had, like, dirty sex?”

Darcy lets out an exasperated sigh, “What the fuck is dirty sex?”

“You know?” Jane lowers her voice and leans in like it’s a secret, “With all the kinks and stuff.” Darcy snorts and has to look away.

“Yea, okay Ms. I’m-fucking-a-literal-Norse-fertility-God.Yes, sure, I’m the one having the dirty sex.”

“You know what I mean Darcy.” Now Jane just sounds annoyed or maybe flustrated, Darcy has to remember to text that to Clint, “You’ve been very clear in the past that you and Clint do not do emotional or romantic things.”Ugh, Jane is so disgustingly right.

“I know.”Darcy whines, leaning back and kicking her heels against the desk, “but I think maybe we did without meaning to somehow and I had a reaction to it and then he told me he cares about me.” 

“What do you mean you had a reaction to it.” Jane asks and Darcy can appreciate that her voice has gone to a place of pure science.

“So he gets me off and it’s like the best orgasm of my life and then afterward he’s kind of cuddling me I guess and I just suddenly realized how much I missed him while he was gone for two months.So I told him but telling him opened up some kind of horrible alternate dimension where I cry after sex.Violently.With snot.” Darcy finishes with a respectable deadpan but Jane is staring off into space like she’s doing calculus, which maybe she is.Emotional calculus.

“It’s not uncommon to have that kind of reaction to an orgasm though.” Jane starts, “If you’ve been stressed, the sudden release of Oxytocin can create an emotional response which could manifest as crying.”It’s clinical, concise, and makes the reaction something that could have happened no matter who her partner was. Darcy loves it.“All of that said,” Jane continues, “I think it’s more likely that you have unaddressed and very deep feelings for Clint and this was your body’s way of trying to force those feelings out through your eyeballs so you’ll stop being so stupid about it.”Clearly, Jane has always been an epic bitch. 

“I have no words for how deeply that last part offends me.” Darcy chokes out.

“What did he do when you violently cried on him with snot?” Jane asks and she sounds genuinely curious.

Darcy pauses for a moment because as much as she wants advice, something about the conversation in the bathroom feels so terribly private.“He let me hide in the bathroom for a little bit.” Darcy starts, looking down at her twisting fingers. 

“And then?” Jane prompts.

“He brought me a shirt and an ice pack for my eyes.” Darcy says and the memory of how thoughtful he’d been brings a small smile to her face. She throws a nervous glance in Jane’s direction and steels herself to get through the rest of it.“Then he asked if we could take a break from the pretending we’re not really together thing I like to do—“

“I knew he was smarter than he acts.” Jane interrupts and Darcy makes a shushing noise.“Okay, then what?” Jane prompts again.

“Then he said ‘I care about you’.” Darcy can still see his face in her mind.“He said just because we’re not using traditional terms to describe what we are it doesn’t make me any less important to him.”It sounds so raw coming out of her mouth.His words repeated for someone else to hear.

“Oh. My. God.”Darcy jerks her head in Jane’s direction to find her friend staring at her with giant eyes. 

“What?” Darcy asks.

“He’s in love with you.” Jane says, she uses the same tone one might employ to explain that it’s going to rain that afternoon as opposed to something more suited to a life altering announcement. 

“He is not in love with me.” Darcy pushes back.“At no point did he say the L word.You know how I feel about the L word Janie.”

“It doesn’t matter how you feel about it.He’s in love with you and you’re in love with him.” Jane squeals.Dr. Jane Foster, rumored nominee for next year’s Noble Prize squeals.“Oh my gawd.” 

“Stop Jane.” Darcy can feel her body starting to physically rebel.She was just getting used to the idea of general deeper emotional connections being okay.She is so not ready to be in love. So not ready.As in, she cannot deal with this on top of everything else, especially not while Clint is far away, god knows where, probably jumping off of roofs. 

“Okay.” Jane says it softly and her hand lands on Darcy’s thigh.“It’s 6:20, you want to go up and get drunk with your pretend Step-Mom who also happens to be our boss?”

“Fuck yes.” Darcy hisses, jumping off the desk.

“You know, if you’re not attached to Clint, Ben really is very nice.” 

“Shut up Jane.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who is reading, commenting, subscribing, and leaving kudos. You guys just really make my day. I love checking my email and seeing alerts about how much you all are loving things so far. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter — if you did (or didn’t) let me know. I really do enjoy hearing from you all!


	6. A Day in the Park

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony and Clint come back, Darcy makes it through her first week, goes to the park with Tony, and shares some good childhood memories.

The first week of lab managing flies by.Darcy carefully ignores the fact that Clint and Tony are away on some sort of dangerous classified mission and allows herself to sink into a regular routine.She goes in early and stays late.She manages to get a few hours of sleep every night in between recurring nightmares that range from being chased by elves to the itchy feeling of feathers flying against her skin.That fucking bird cloud had been terrifying, sue her.

She quickly manages to memorize all the lab assistant’s names and starts to figure out how to work with each team of researchers in their own right.She spends hours in each lab getting read in on the projects she has clearance for and carefully avoiding those she doesn’t.She implements a few small policies to make life easier, like a regular breakfast delivery for the common kitchen and she upgrades the coffee supplies.The second change makes her very popular. 

She eats lunch with Jane, and then lunch with Pepper, and then lunch with Jane and Ben.She teaches Jane all about Jarvis and watches as the usually suspicious astrophysicist opens up as a result of pure curiosity to the ‘man in the ceiling’.Jarvis ends up being invaluable in the stocking of the labs, his efficient systems capable of keeping track of supplies and requisition forms without Darcy needing to take further action.She celebrates throwing away all of her predecessors printed paperwork by eating an extra glazed donut from the kitchen. 

With all the basics covered, Darcy settles into trying to figure out some of the more complex responsibilities.No one at Stark Industries does weapons research anymore but this has just made the projects more diverse.Dr. Burns is working on some kind of molecular alternative to the common vaccine.Her project seems to require an almost endless supply of rats, monkeys, and very soon pigs.Darcy just makes sure the animals are being treated well and hopes she’s not contributing to the creation of some kind of zombie virus. 

Dr. Banner appears to still focus mostly on Gamma radiation but he’s got active projects running in tandem with Tony for the Avengers and damn if those don’t have some hefty price tags.He’s also got one project labeled ‘Study of Elastic Alternatives with Exponential Growth Potential’ that Darcy is ninety percent sure is about making pants that won’t get destroyed by his transition into the Hulk.She doesn’t ask for confirmation.

Dr. White is running two projects, only one of which Darcy has the clearance level to read details on.His public research is concentrated on alternative propulsion systems and Darcy can see Tony’s fingerprints all over the schematics that are submitted with the request for additional supplies.Section 41 is the code name for his classified work and it appears to be a contracted project with SHIELD. All the project briefs are redacted into nothing so Darcy just makes a note to keep an eye on the budgeting.She doesn’t trust SHIELD not to screw them given the chance.

Ben’s work is medical and Darcy spends an afternoon trying to understand what he’s doing with nanotechnology and muscular systems.The nanotech she understands, it’s incredibly cool.It’s how he plans to use it inside a human that has her a little thrown.At first glance she’d say the nanites are meant to be injected for subcutaneous healing but there’s something confusing about the way the protocols are written.She promises herself she’ll come back to it because Ben really is very nice and he’s starting to become a regular attendee at lunch with her and Jane.She wants to be able to discuss it with him. 

Jane’s research is easy because of familiarity and Darcy just sets up an auto approval for Tony’s requests with a few rules to prevent ridiculous things from slipping through. There’s no point trying to manage Tony beyond keeping him from working more than 24 hours at a time.She’s got an entire lifetime of experience to back that up.

Before she knows it the week is over and Clint and Tony are back.Tony announces his return by dropping in on her early Friday morning.He’s trailed by a harried looking teenager clutching two cups of coffee who he introduces as his “gofer du jour, Peter”. Then he demands she approve his auto denied request for a full scale particle accelerator (never going to happen and he knows it) before setting a coffee on her desk and breezing away.The text confirming their plans for hippie frisbee the next day arrives ten minutes later while Darcy is still enjoying the cinnamon mocha he left behind.

Clint shows up in the supply closet that afternoon while Darcy is trying to make sure they have enough snacks to get them through before the next order.One minute she’s counting boxes of individually wrapped chips and the next she’s pressed against wire shelving with a very warm mouth over hers, calloused fingers trailing up under the hem of her pencil skirt.It’s basically a drive-by make out though.He can’t stay, because he snuck away in between debrief meetings and she’s very much still working, but she feels like they make the most of it.So with a promise to see her later that night he slips away. 

It’s the promise of Clint that keeps Darcy from working late on Friday.She’s got all her things gathered up and is headed to the elevator when Ben falls into step with her, a coat over his arm.

“Hey Darcy, ready for the weekend?” He’s shuffling papers into his worn messenger bag as he asks.

“Yep!” Darcy pops the P and smiles at him before reaching out to push the up arrow on the elevator just as he pushes down.“What about you? Doing anything fun?” She asks. 

“Nothing too exciting.” Ben says and he fidgets just a little.“I’m actually meeting a few friends downtown tonight to see a new band play.”He starts off with a small stutter and Darcy can practically feel the question coming, “Would you want to come with? Let me buy you a drink?” And there it is. 

She forces herself to keep a friendly smile on, “That sounds like fun but I can’t.”She considers saying she already has plans but that could lead to questions about what they are and she can’t exactly admit she’s got to get home to bone her secret...Clint.She aims for professional instead, “I just started the job you know.Need to get a little more established before I let anyone here see me after a few drinks.”She laughs at her own joke and gives him the most sincere look she can.

“Of course.”Ben agrees in the same warm easy tone as always, “I’ll have to try again in a few weeks then.”He teases and Darcy is saved from having to respond by the arrival of her elevator. 

“Have fun tonight though! See you Monday.”She gives him a cheery wave and silently begs the elevator doors to close faster.“Crap,” she mutters once she’s alone.It’s not that she doesn’t think Ben is a great guy.They’ve interacted quite a bit over the course of the week and he’s clearly smart, funny, and very sweet.Hell, he’d remembered her love of the cafeteria cookies and brought her one yesterday afternoon. Still, she’s got plenty going on without a workplace crush not to mention how Tony and Clint would react. 

The elevator stops on her floor and Darcy steps out.She’s got to get her head on straight.The minute she walks through her apartment door a post-mission-Clint is going to be all over her.The thought of it sends a spike of lust straight through her core.She’s been on a hair trigger since his supply closet drop-in hours before which was undoubtedly why he showed up in the closet to begin with.Taking another long breath she banishes all thoughts of Ben, her long week at work, the father/daughter date hanging over her head, and unlocks her door.

By the time her back hits the mattress there’s no room in her head for anything except the feeling Clint’s hands on her skin and how to keep them there as long as possible. 

~0~

The next morning, Tony shows up on time, alone, holding two coffees, and wearing a hat to avoid being recognized. Being on time is surprising enough but the fact that he’s walking up to her carrying things himself is enough to have Darcy’s jaw dropping. 

“I’m sorry,” She says as soon as he’s close enough, “but who are you and what have you done with my dad?” 

“What?” Tony is immediately on the defensive even as he shoves a large cinnamon mocha into her hand, “I can’t bring you coffee? I brought you coffee yesterday.This is the second coffee I’ve brought you in as many days.”

“And I’m grateful.”She takes a sip and makes a happy noise in her throat, “I forgot how good these are. Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.” He says, “Seriously, don’t tell anyone because then I’ll have to bring coffee for everyone.” He trails off and Darcy takes another sip of coffee to cover up the pause.They didn’t used to have gaps in their banter but she supposes they also used to talk everyday. 

“So,” she tries again, “did you bring frisbees?” 

“Of course I did.” Tony jerks a thumb over his shoulder as he speaks, “They’re in the car with Happy.Did you think I walked all the way down here?” 

Darcy snorts.Of course.“My mistake.” She rolls her eyes, “We are walking to the meadow though right?”She can’t help the way her voice goes up at the end.Walking to the meadow and stopping at the Balto statue was a long standing tradition.The idea that he could forget hurts.

“Of course we’re walking.” Tony scoffs, “Have to stop and pet Balto.” Darcy breathes a small sigh of relief as he keeps talking, “He probably thinks you abandoned him.Four years without stopping by to say hi.”His voice is light and full of mischief.

So they’re joking about it now.Well, that’s okay then, she can snark with the best of them.“Who says I haven’t been to see him in four years?Just because I wasn’t visiting you doesn’t mean I completely avoided New York.”

Tony seems to take the mutual joking as permission to escalate and he slings an arm around her shoulders, turning them both towards the entrance to the park.“Are you telling me you came to the city and didn’t stop by to see me? You wound me kiddo.I am wounded.” 

“Brain damage maybe.” Darcy quips but she does drop her head onto his shoulder.“Is Happy tailing us with a backpack full of frisbees?” She asks.

“How else would the frisbees get to the meadow?” Tony says, tugging her tighter against his side in a move so familiar it makes her chest ache.

“We could carry them?” She suggests taking another sip of her mocha.

“But then what would Happy do? You know we have to keep him busy Darce, otherwise he starts chasing people around to check their security badges.”There’s a huffed laugh from behind them and Darcy smiles.“Look there’s Balto.” Tony points off to their side and Darcy immediately pulls away from him to bound up to the statue. 

She’d been obsessed with the movie as a child, loving everything from the dog himself to the squishy polar bears.They’d screened it for the first time in the Malibu house theatre room but a week and at least thirty rewatches later Tony had bundled a 6 year old Darcy onto the jet and brought her to see the statue in Central Park. The tradition evolved over the years, as that first visit did not include harassing picnickers in the meadow but this part had always stayed the same. 

“He looks good for his age.” Darcy says once Tony has caught up and they’re both staring up at the bronze dog.

“Agreed, I mean in dog years he’s got to be almost 700.” Tony jokes before reaching out with his free hand to pet the statue’s front paw.

“Six hundred and sixty five, this year.” Darcy corrects and turns to watch Tony’s mouth open and close a few times.

“Why do you know that?” Tony knocks a shoulder into hers, “Seriously, of all the incredibly important things you need to know why is the age of Balto in dog years something you choose to retain?”

“I have priorities.” She snips before reaching out to rub at the dog’s metal foot herself.“You wanna make Happy take a picture of us?”She regrets the question as soon as it’s out of her mouth.Tony’s face has gone soft and she pulls away at the obvious emotion.

“For your collection?” Tony asks quietly referencing the stack of old photos buried in a box somewhere in her still mostly boxed up apartment. Another part of the tradition.

“I mean,” she takes a deep breath and forges ahead, “we’re here and it’s been awhile. Would be a shame to miss the chance just in case.”She doesn’t know if she means just in case they fight again or just in case he dies on some Avenger mission but he seems to understand.

“Yeah.” His voice is thick but he clears his throat and starts again, “Yeah, of course we can.” Turning to the man standing not inconspicuously behind them in a suit and wearing a backpack, “Hey Hap?”

“Picture time?” Happy looks thrilled with this turn of events.

“Hey Happy, long time no see.” Darcy gives him a sarcastic smile.They don’t need to catch up, she had dinner with Happy two nights ago and has a running conversation on her phone with him about the latest episode of Dog Cops.She may have cut Tony out but that didn’t mean losing her favorite uncle. 

“Good to see you Darce.”Happy smiles at her and Darcy can hear the unspoken ‘with Tony’ in his voice.“Okay, get up there and — no Tony, no bunny ears.We settled that in 02’.”

“Yeah Tony,” Darcy jabs an elbow into Tony’s stomach, “we agreed no unsanctioned bunny ears in the photo bomb truce of 02.”

“Slipped my mind.” Tony says with a twisted smile before sliding his arm back around her shoulders. 

“Say cheese.” Happy calls and then taps his finger against his phone screen repeatedly.“Got it.” 

“To the meadow?” Tony asks.

“Lead on.” Darcy nods.

It’s a nice day.The weather is crisp enough for jackets but the sun is out.They walk to the meadow slowly. Tony keeps up a steady stream of banter never letting the silence stretch for more than a few seconds and Darcy appreciates how easy it still is.They fall back into old jokes like they never left them behind. 

The meadow, when they finally arrive, is just barely hanging on to it’s summer green before the chill of fall fades the grass to brown.There’s not as many people dotted over the field as there would be in the summer but they still have to search for a place suitably far enough away from other groups to avoid Tony being recognized. Darcy isn’t surprised when the pack Happy is carrying turns out to contain breakfast sandwiches and a blanket although Tony does pull out a single glow in the dark frisbee from the bottom of the bag and hand it to her.

“Do you like the job?” Tony breaks the post breakfast sandwich silence. 

Darcy leans back on her elbows and examines him closely before she answers. “I’ve only had it for a week,” she starts slowly, “but I think I could be really good at it.”

“Fair enough.”He mimics her lean back, “You didn’t get that from me you know.”He says.

“What?” She asks cutting her eyes over to his oddly serious face, shaded by his hat.

“The thoughtfulness.”Tony sucks his teeth and looks away, a thousand yard stare straight over the lengths of the meadow.“I gave you a lot of things, good and bad, but the steadiness, the deep thinking, you got that from your mother. I always just jump into things.Full speed ahead into whatever seems right in the moment.”He trails off and Darcy can feel the shift in mood like a physical thing. 

“Is that what you did then? Ran full speed ahead into what seemed right in the moment?” Darcy asks, she’s not sure she really wants the answer.It’s the closest they’ve gotten to talking about his broken pinky swear to not become a super hero. She scans the park and takes in all the people, far enough away for privacy but no so far away she can let herself really drop back into those memories.There may not be a place on earth private enough to make her feel safe while she relives the weeks of thinking he was dead in Afghanistan and then the betrayal of Obediah, the fight, the announcement, the broken promises. 

“I like to think so.” Tony finally says, still not looking at her. “You think we can get it back kiddo? I missed you.I still miss you.” She watches his throat constrict and she feels something in her chest crack open.She lets out a slow breath.

“I don’t know,” she says, “but I miss you too. You know I have a file on my computer full of things I wanted to tell you about but couldn’t because we weren’t speaking.”Tony’s laugh is short and sharp.

“You got that from me.” He huffs out.“Jarvis has a file of texts called ‘send Darcy when she doesn’t hate me anymore’.”Darcy can tell he means it as a joke but it hits her in the chest like a train.

“I don’t hate you.”It comes out just a little too loud and Darcy ducks her head and lowers her voice before she continues, “I never hated you. You’re my dad.I love you. I just couldn’t be around you.”Now it’s her turn not to look at Tony, staring out a group of college students playing hackey sack a hundred yards away. 

“I love you too kiddo.” Tony says, and then his arm drops heavy around her shoulders as he pulls her against his side.“Good thing you don’t hate me because I’m too old to start over.Can you imagine me trying to do diapers again at my age?” His voice has faded into a teasing whine and Darcy snorts in amusement. 

“You didn’t do diapers with me. I came to you potty trained.” She quips.

“Are you sure?I have strong memories of diapers.”He argues.

“I think those were pull ups.” She corrects and pushes at him trying to get his arm off but he holds firm, dropping a hand on top of her head and moving it up and down his fingers flexing in her hair.

“What’s this?” He asks playfully.

“Stop it!” She pushes at him, but his new superhero regimen does him well and he keeps her in place, dodging flailing hands to keep his fingers flexing at the crown of her head.

“What is it Darce?” He asks again and she laughs trying to dig her fingers into his side to tickle him off. 

“I don’t know. What is it?” She gets out on a laugh.

“It’s a brain sucker Darcy.”Tony says seriously, “What’s it doing?”

“I don’t know!” She practically shouts, the hand he has around her waist is digging into her ribs successfully turning her own tickle defense back on her and she’s gasping for breath now between giggles.

“It’s starving Darcy!”The last line of the joke is delivered with so much mock seriousness she finally gives in and dissolves completely into laughter on the blanket.Tony follows her down, his own sharp laugh a counter to her own joy.

“You’re an asshole.”She gasps out trying to catch her breath, “That joke hasn’t been funny since I was eight.”

“Says the 24 year old laughing so hard she’s crying.”Tony counters.

“Shut up.” Darcy says but then, “Can we go watch Balto?”

“You want to watch Balto with me?” Tony seems so surprised by the question Darcy feels a jolt of shame for how thoroughly she really did cut him out.Maybe she’s more like him than either of them thinks.Running full speed into decisions that feel right at the time careless of the consequences long term.

“Yeah,” she says, “but only if the theatre still stocks those sour candy things.” 

“Well if it doesn’t I’ll fucking have them flown in.”Tony jumps to his feet and holds out a hand. “Come on kid.”He pulls her up with a level of enthusiasm not usually associated with a twenty year old cartoon movie. 

“Are we going?” Happy looks up from where he’s been reading a short distance away.

“We’re going to watch Balto.” Tony says, bending to gather up the blanket.“You coming?” 

“Of course.” Happy agrees, already standing to repack his bag and Darcy figures this isn’t going to fix anything but it is going to feel good so she follows her dad out of the park.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has been reading, commenting, leaving kudos, and subscribing! You all make the hours of work that went into this story very worth it. 
> 
> Also, yes, I did mini cameo some Peter Parker even though it’s way too early in cannon for it. He’s not going to play any role, I just like the idea of him following Tony around. 
> 
> If you liked it or if you didn’t, I’d love to hear from you!


	7. Clint Interlude 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint and Darcy spend some time together at his apartment in Bed Stuy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is almost PWP. Note the rating change and tags. I feel like we've finally crossed the line from mature to explicit. There's a teeny tiny bit of plot work at the end but nothing you'll miss if you want to skip the smut you can jump the next chapter with no issues. Enjoy!

Clint has always seen better from a distance. It’s not something he’s ever been able to completely explain. It’s rooted deeper than the lessons learned from Trickshot or the Swordsman or Barney. He knows it with more certainty than he knows anything else. His ability to see what others can’t has done him well over the years. It got him a job, it helped him find Natasha, it kept him alive during the Chitauri invasion, it got him Darcy Lewis. 

He likes watching Darcy. He’s liked watching her since it was his job to keep an eye on her in New Mexico, when he could post up on a roof near the old car dealership and spy on her and Jane as they worked. He used to particularly like the days when Darcy would put on music that he couldn’t hear and dance her way around the lab to the beat. Clint would shamelessly focus his scope on that pert round ass and watch it move between machines, on the good days she would be wearing Daisy Dukes and he’d be able to see the crease where her thighs began under the worn denim. A good man might have been able to watch her without getting hard. Clint has never considered himself a very good man. 

Given how much he enjoyed the show before he really knew her, Clint isn’t surprised that he finds watching her while she’s close enough to touch possibly more enjoyable. At first he only gets to see her in small bursts between ops and over stolen weekends. Still, it’s something. Watching her write papers and grants on her laptop from across her shitty apartment. Watching her try to cook him a welcome home dinner. Watching from a thousand miles away while she struggles to match him joke for joke via text, those little now typing dots constantly dancing on his screen. Watching her face when he sat her down on a long weekend trip to talk about kink. It was a good face. 

Then Loki happened, Clint spent a whole month in her tiny New Mexico apartment after, and he got to watch a whole new round of things. Mostly though, what he likes to remember from that time are the nights. The nights when he couldn’t sleep or wouldn’t for fear of nightmares so she let him keep her up with talk and TV and touching. He liked the touching, watching her relearn him after a month apart. Watching her body arch under his until she resembled his favorite bow. Watching her fingers white knuckle in the sheets while he knelt between her legs. Watching her eyes snap open wide as she came under him. 

Absolutely none of those moments from their past can compare to right now. Darcy Lewis, three weeks into living in New York, in his apartment, naked and spread out over his sheets. He’s across the room, sitting low in the old armchair that usually doubles as a laundry basket. She’d managed to get his shirt off before he’d pressed her down onto the bed and told her to hold still. Then he’d pushed his boxers down just low enough to let his cock spring free and sat down. Now she’s propped on her elbows across from him and waiting. 

“Turn so I can see —ah, yes just like that.” He watches her settle with her feet braced against the foot board, propped up on a few pillows so he can see straight up the line of her body between her legs. She hasn’t moved beyond the instruction though, her hands still pressed to the tops of her thighs but he can see the held back tension in every muscle. 

“Touch yourself for me.” He says and he watches as nimble fingers slide down her thighs and immediately head between her legs, “Ah ah, no baby girl. You know the rules.” She lets out a frustrated huff and he loves the way it purses her lips and the way exasperation puts a crease between her brows. 

“You should be more specific.” She says as she slides her hands up over her ribs to settle on her breasts. He loves her breasts. They are large, round, and incredibly sensitive. He’s going to make her regret asking him to be specific. 

“Okay then.” He agrees with a wicked smile, “Touch your nipples, lightly, just enough to get them hard but not enough to take away the ache.” He watches her brush the back of her fingers over both blush covered nipples and it pushes a bolt of heat to his groin. Her fingers part and she starts to catch at them trying to sneak in pinches. “Don’t cheat me Darcy. I want you to beg by the end of it.” 

She makes an inarticulate noise of frustration in the back of her throat and Clint chuckles. He’s going to have her cursing at him before he’s done but he knows she’ll follow orders. God, when he thinks about the way Darcy takes orders it’s enough to make his head spin. He watches her fingers continue to brush lightly over her nipples, drifting in larger and larger circles to tease the flesh of her breasts. Even from across the room Clint can see the way the touch is bringing up goosebumps in it’s wake. 

“Spread your legs.” Technically she already has them spread but he wants more. He wants her open to his gaze in the lewdest way possible and he can tell she knows it from the way she splays out for him, re-bracing her feet against the bed but further apart. “Good girl.” He says and is rewarded with a roll of her eyes but he doesn’t miss the small shiver of pleasure she tries to suppress. Clint knows what his girl likes. 

One of her hands has trailed down to her stomach and she’s tracing lazy patterns over the soft flesh. Clint knows how soft that skin is, he knows what it feels like under his fingers and his mouth. He knows how elastic it is when he sucks on that spot just under her belly button, until he can bite down enough to make her writhe under him. He’s been hard since before he sat down but he’s kept his hands pressed lightly to his own thighs. Now, he wraps a hand around his cock, giving himself a few loose tugs, his fingers sliding over the wetness at the tip. There’s a soft gasp from the bed and he looks back up to find Darcy watching him with wide eyes, her bottom lip caught in her teeth. 

“Like what you see?” He can’t keep the teasing rasp out of his voice. 

“No.” She spits out the word and Clint can hear the lie through her frustration. He can see how wet she is. She’d gotten a wax a few days ago courtesy of Pepper’s favorite spa and without any hair the slick of Darcy’s arousal is obvious on her skin. 

“You do.” He says confidently, sliding his hand slowly over himself. “One hand between your legs Darcy. Hold yourself open for me.” 

She doesn’t rush to comply but he can see the tremor in her fingers as they slide low between her legs and spread to part her labia. She’s so wet. The skin is bright pink and swollen, glistening in the pale light from the bedside lamps. She knows better than to try and sneak a finger down to brush her clit but even the the spread has her breath picking up. A soft pink blush is high on her cheeks and her breasts rise and fall with each little pant. He watches her hips wriggle and he knows she’s trying to find some friction, anywhere. 

“One finger inside, nice and slow.” Clint watches the flex of her wrist as she bends her hand down to slide into herself. Darcy has tiny hands, delicate fingers, and he watches the one he’s allowed her slide in with no resistance. He watches the muscles in her forearm flex as she slides it in and out. He knows it’s not enough for her, he’s had almost his entire fist up between those pretty thighs, he is incredibly aware how much of a tease a single finger is. 

She lets out a frustrated groan and Clint’s eyes flick back up to her face. She’s chewing on her bottom lip, her eyes closed, chin tucked down against her chest. He trails his eyes back down, taking in the color on her chest, the way her hand is still playing lightly with her nipple because he hasn’t given her permission for more, all the way to her toes clenching and unclenching against the edge of the foot board. 

“Pinch your nipple.” He says and his own breathing is rough as he rubs his palm over the head of his dick. He’s verging on painfully hard and he’s going to have to speed up this game if he wants it to end the way he planned. 

She lets out a little moan when her fingers tighten on her nipple and her head drops back on the pillows. Her finger is still working between her legs. “Please.” Her voice is breathy and pitched low.   
  
“Please what?’ He asks. 

“Just please.” She says on a groan and Clint just knows she’s crooked the finger buried inside her. He knows exactly what it feels like to have his fingers deep inside her, the way her wet channel clutches around them, the spot deep inside that can make her groan like that with the right pressure. 

He gets up on silent feet, kicking off the sweatpants still tangled around his thighs as he goes. “Please what?” He asks again once he’s standing at the foot of the bed between her bent legs. Her eyes snap open and meet his. 

“Fuck me.” She demands and damn if those words falling from her pretty lips don’t almost do him in every goddamn time. 

“Yes ma’am.” He barely gives her time to react, using his free hand to pull her fingers away, he takes a moment to line up and then sinks into her in one long stroke. “Christ Darce.” He mutters at the sudden wet clench of her body. He shifts between her legs, stepping closer and lifting her legs until his hip bones are pressed up against her ass. “Fuck baby.” He says as he begins to move. Short, tight thrusts against her body that would start to push her up the bed if not for his grip on her thighs. 

“About time.” Darcy is sarcastic in her momentary dissatisfaction and and Clint raises and eyebrow in question. “Teasing me like that. Making me watch while you touch yourself, while I touch myself. It’s fucking cru—” She’s cut off by a particularly sharp thrust forward from his hips and he gives her a wicked smile. 

“You were saying?” He asks and she grins right back before she arches her back and he feels her inner muscles tighten down on him. It’s enough to make his rhythm falter and he knows she knows. “Now who’s playing games?” He asks through gritted teeth. 

They both are. There are times when Clint won’t let her get away with it, when he needs to be in control more than he needs that teasing smile playing at her lips but today isn’t like that. Today is fun. Today is sugary cereal on his couch and pizza for lunch and Darcy wandering around his apartment in nothing but her underwear until he couldn’t help but drag her up into the loft to play a game.   
  
He’s pulled out of his thoughts when she shifts, her stomach muscles flexing as she tries to sit up. For a second he thinks about leaning over her, keeping her legs pinned, and holding her down while he fucks her until she comes. But the look she’ll give him if he gives in and let’s her have her way floats through his mind and he relents. Helping her sit up, her legs wrap around his waist and he picks her up holding her against his chest, his dick still buried deep. 

“Where we going Darce?” He asks before taking the opportunity to press his mouth against her neck, sucking hard. 

“I want to be on top.” She says with all the grace of a queen explaining where she wants her afternoon tea and Clint huffs a laugh against her sweaty neck. 

“Of course you do.” He mutters but he obliges her, turning on his heel with all his leftover acrobat grace he sits back down on the edge of the bed and she settles over him. 

It’s slow, a wicked teasing burn and for all that he’d wanted to be the one to run the show just moments before Clint finds himself perfectly content to sit back and let Darcy ride him anyway she wants. A nasty grind and twitch and he just knows she’s made sure her clit is riding right along his pelvic bone from the way her cunt is squeezing him in time to her little movements. He ducks his head and pulls one peaked nipple into his mouth, enjoying the way her eyes slam shut and her mouth opens into a little O of pleasure as he tongues at her breast. She’s close. 

“You going to come for me Darce?” He can feel his own orgasm just out of reach at this pace but he wouldn’t stop her for anything. “You going to let me feel it? The way you go so tight for me when you get off.” He runs his hands up her sides before bracing one in her hair and the other low in the center of her back. “Gonna let me feel you?” Darcy’s hips start to pick up the pace and her breath hitches on every little downward thrust. “What do you need baby girl?” 

“Ah. ah. Please.” Her voice is high and he can feel her starting to tighten up around him as he lifts his hips to grind against her trying to help. “Talk to me.” She demands and he uses his grip to pull her closer until he can talk directly into her ear. 

“Such a good girl.” He’s breathing heavy now and his voice is low with exertion as he keeps up the shallow grinding thrusts to match hers from below. “Love the way you feel around me Darce. The way your body was made for mine. Sometimes I can’t think because I want you so bad, just need to be inside you or I’ll fly apart.” She starts making a low keening sound in the back of her throat and Clint grips the back of her neck so hard he’s worried about bruises. “So good for me. So tight. So perfect. I could have come watching you touch yourself. So beautiful, so good.” He keeps up the steady stream of praise right until she lets out a harsh gasp and he feels her go rigid in his arms. Her body spasms around his cock and he feels a rush of wet as her hips start to still. 

He braces his feet, drops his hands to her hips, and starts to move in earnest. She’s pliant in his hands and he thrusts up roughly, chasing his own end. It doesn’t take long, he’s been keyed up and holding it off since she spread herself wide for his gaze. Her hands brace against his chest, her head drops forward as she tries to help but he can see the shake in her biceps and the idea that he made her this loose and strung out is what finally does him in. His balls tighten up in warning and he can see her thighs twitching with the effort of meeting him thrust for thrust as he pushes up once, twice more and comes deep inside her. 

Call him weird but Clint loves the aftermath almost more than the main event. The way he flops back on the bed and Darcy follows him down to lay like a human blanket over his chest. The soft feeling of her hair spread over him, her hands trailing over his ribs and arms, down to catch at his hands. Her sweat slick back under his fingers and the way she shivers when he breathes out against her throat. 

He opens his mouth to say those words, the ones he’s been holding back for months and then presses his lips against her flushed skin instead. It’s not the first time he’s thought about telling her but it is probably the closest he’s gotten to doing it. It’s only a matter of time. He knows that. He won’t be able to hold it in forever, he’d already gotten close her first week here and he’d managed to cover with that ‘I care for you’ line. Eventually he’s going to say what he wants to say and she’s going to panic. Not today though. 

“You want new pizza or cold pizza?” Darcy talks directly into his chest. 

“New pizza is an option?” Half of the pizza they had for lunch is still on the counter. 

“New pizza is always an option.” She says, pushing herself up on shaking arms and Clint feels another burst of pride go through him. He did that to her. 

“Maybe we should go out for pizza.” He tries and he can tell by the way she stiffens it’s not going to happen. She may claim he’s not her dirty little secret but he certainly feels like it sometimes. 

They’re both saved from what could be a difficult conversation by the sound of the door opening downstairs. Clint’s already moving for the gun mounted behind the headboard, just in case, when he hears the familiar rattle of Lucky’s tags followed by excited dog feet on the stairs. He barely has time to mutter, “Prepare yourself,” before Lucky emerges at the top of the stairs and takes a running leap at the bed. 

“Can I come up or are you two naked?” Kate’s voice drifts up from the foot of the steps. 

“Naked.” Darcy calls back without an ounce of shame and Clint grins. That’s his girl. He smacks her ass as she climbs over him to get out of bed. “Control your dog.” She says to Clint even as she scratches Lucky behind the ears. Clint doesn’t bother to move, just watches Darcy gather up clothes from all over the bedroom floor. He could watch her bend over forever, the curve of her ass, the sway of her breasts, the long line of her legs, the sweep of her dark hair. He loves it. He’s a lost cause. 

“Are you putting on clothes?” Kate’s voice sounds uncertain from downstairs and Clint groans. 

“Why are you here? In the place where I am naked!” Clint calls back down and he hears Kate snort. 

“I was brining back your dog. Even though he loves me more than you.” Kate calls back up. “If you put on clothes I won’t tell you what happened last night on Dog Cops.” 

“HA!” Clint climbs from the bed just in time to get an arm around Darcy and prevent her from putting on a shirt, “We watched it this morning!” He yells back to Kate then softer to Darcy, “I will pay you a ridiculous amount of money to just stay up here naked with me and pick things up off the floor while I watch.” 

“Ridiculous huh?” Darcy turns in his arm a smile wide on her face. 

“Outrageous,” he agrees into her tits, “you’ve never seen this kind of money before.” 

“Just to pick things up off your floor while naked?” She confirms, her fingers coming up to tangle in the hair at the back of his neck and he would purr if it wouldn’t be incredibly embarrassing. He loves when she scratches right there. 

“And pet my neck like that.” He adds and she laughs, full and loud before pressing a kiss to his mouth and pulling out of his arms to put on her shirt. 

“See, this is why I can’t make a deal with you hot shot.” She bends over directly in front of him to grab her pants and he has no doubt she’s doing it on purpose. She looks at him over her shoulder as she steps into the yoga pants, “You just always want a little bit more.” 

“I’m not an easily satisfied man.” He agrees his voice going low and Darcy raises an eyebrow. 

“Oh. My. Gawd. Was that a line?” Kate’s voice comes drifting up from downstairs and Clint drops his head to Darcy’s shoulder in shame. “Darcy, tell me that doesn’t work on you!” Kate laughs, “I’m not an easily satisfied man” She repeats back mimicking his rough midwestern accent. “What a nerd.” 

“Kate! Why are you here?” Clint shouts down the stairs. “Stay.” He says softer to Darcy, trying to catch at her but she’s already got a foot on the first step. 

“We have company Clinton.” She teases, pulling her hand out of his reach. “Get dressed and come be a good host.” 

“She’s not company.” He grumbles as he pulls on pants already searching for a shirt, “She’s Hawkeye and not a very good one at that.” 

“I heard that!” Kate shouts up again. 

“You were supposed to!” He yells back. She was definitely not supposed to. 

“Kate brought Thai.” Darcy yells up from below and Clint can tell her mouth is already full of noodles. 

“Love you Katie-Kate.” He calls back, already halfway down the stairs. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has been reading, leaving comments, and kudos! 
> 
> If you have thoughts on the chapter I'd love to hear from you!


	8. On the Edge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy starts to ask questions at work, there’s a party in the works, and Tony puts his foot in his mouth.

The next month moves fast and Darcy’s life in New York starts to fill, personally and professionally.

She settles into the new job more fully.Learning which requests to grant, which to deny, and how to do both with enough grace to keep everyone happy.She increases efficiency and makes a few staff adjustments to keep the skill sets on research projects more balanced.She reviews budgets and finds ways to cut wasteful spending.She blackmails Tony into actually filling out his own reports and gets Jane to finally start using Jarvis as a reminder system to keep her fed on a more regular schedule. 

She puts effort into getting to know her co workers.Spending time with the many assistant researchers until she can name all their pets and most of their kids.She sets up a rotating schedule and spends time in each of the workshops, learning as much as she can about the projects so she can help the teams make adjustments and create better protocols.She eats lunch with Jane and Ben almost daily.Any lingering awkwardness from the failed pickup with Ben fades and Darcy finds herself enjoying his company.He’s quiet and thoughtful but always willing to help her out with the politics of the labs including figuring how to handle Dr. White’s wandering eyes. 

When not at work she’s almost overwhelmed by the ability to see Clint so often now that they’re in the same city.They don’t spend every night together but it’s close and Darcy doesn’t think she’s ever been as well rested as she is when he’s in her bed for several nights in a row.The best times though are when they manage to steal time away from the tower and end up at his place in Bed Stuy.They eat pizza with Kate and Lucky, they join cookouts with the rest of the tenants, they experience all the little day to day things they used to only text each other about, live and in real time. 

They don’t talk about feelings and there’s never a repeat of the ‘I care about you’ conversation but there is a shift.Darcy catches it in Clint’s eyes when he thinks she’s not looking, a softness that he used to try harder to hide. She wonders a few times if she’s got the same look in her eyes.She must. 

They have incredible sex.Darcy isn’t sure if it’s all the quality time or maybe just naturally high libidos but she feels like they have to be setting some kind of record. They are certainly putting those privacy protocols she updated with Jarvis to the test because Clint has almost no boundaries when it comes to finding her and getting a hand up her skirt or down her pants.The most daring escapade to date being the time he snuck into her office and crawled under her desk to take her apart with his hot mouth and rough fingers.She’d barely managed to sneak him out before her next meeting and she spent the entire conversation with Dr. Burns trying not to think about how she was almost certainly soaking through her skirt. 

She doesn’t just spend time with Clint. Living in the tower means being near the rest of the Avengers team and Darcy finds herself being slowly pulled into their social mesh.She has brunch with Jane and Thor.She ends up eating dinner at least once a week with Bruce, usually because they’re both working late.She shops with Pepper and Maria Hill, pointedly ignoring Pepper’s hints that maybe she should get that new purple lace set from LaPerla.On three very memorable occasions she ends up at team dinners as a guest of Thor where she gets to know Steve better as he visits from his new assignment in Washington D.C.. She has a moment of new bonding with Natasha, plotting to set Steve up on a series of blind dates that come to nothing but are incredibly fun to plan.

She and Tony spend time together.The trip to Central Park opens a door that, now, she can’t or won’t close. Saturdays become their day and Tony seems committed to finding more and more nostalgic activities for them. The Saturday after the trip to Sheep Meadow he takes her to the Natural History Museum.The next week they drive out to Coney Island with Pepper in tow.Then they end up at a two story Lazer tag course.The next week is the Met and they have plans to visit the Statue of Liberty in two weeks. It’s fun and they get back into the habit of fast talking, remembering old inside jokes, and making new ones.

It’s not just Saturday’s though.Tony suddenly has all sorts of issues in his workshop that only the R&D Lab Manager can solve and they seem to pop up just at dinner time at least twice a week.So Darcy finds herself reliving years of childhood via holding bolts, helping to weld, and updating code when Tony isn’t looking all while eating takeout in his workshop.He shows her plans for his next suit and they drink scotch while Darcy reviews the schematics of all of the suits he’s built to date, critiquing his choices in color, weapons, and design.He threatens to build her one of her own and she shoots him with a nerf gun borrowed from Kate Bishop.It starts a two hour nerf match that Pepper has to break up after they set off one of Jarvis’ warning sensors.

Things are good.Things are great.Except Darcy has been waiting for the other shoe to drop for weeks now.She can’t put her finger on it but something doesn’t feel right and it’s building up like a wave ready to crest just out of sight.It’s harder than ever to keep all those mental boxes closed and organized.

At first she thought maybe it was lingering emotional turmoil over things with Clint. Either her own over the feelings she won’t admit she has or his over the fact that they’re still sneaking around, but even with those they’re more solid than they’ve ever been.Just this morning they had a very adult conversation about who should be responsible for washing the dishes.Granted it ended with her dropping to her knees and blowing him in exchange for not having to do them.Best compromise she’s ever made. 

Tony is another contender but things are good there too.She has her dad back in pretty much every way that matters.Jane has pointed out more than once that there’s still been no actual apology for the events that created the rift in the first place but at this point Darcy thinks it’s best to do as Jane originally advised and just let it go.It feels irrational to hang on to a grudge for something from so long ago. She loves Tony.She wants to keep having fun with him so what’s the point in bringing up all the drama, right?

No, if it’s not those two and everything else is going well it has to be something at work.Which is why Darcy is in her office at 7pm on a Wednesday night reviewing the project requisitions for the fifth time.She knows there’s something here, something she overlooked the last four times.She flips through the printed reports, sighs, and decides it’s time to pull out the big guns.

“Jarvis?”

“Yes, Darcy.” The AI responds immediately.

“Can you pull up requisition files for the last 8 months on the holo screen and organize by research team?” She asks, running a hand through her hair and leaning back in her chair.

“Of course.” Jarvis replies and the files are suddenly floating in the space over her desk.Darcy smiles to herself, for all that S.I. is advanced only the Avengers have this tech.It being available in her office is an upgrade courtesy of shameless nepotism, Darcy isn’t complaining.

She rubs at her eyes and starts to flick through the files trying to find a connection she may have missed on paper.“Jarvis there’s nothing in Dr. White’s folder specifically for Section 41. Where are those documents?” Speaking of though, Darcy snatches up the printed files and realizes there’s nothing for the classified project in the paper stack either. 

“Section 41 paperwork is filed through the SHIELD liaison office and must be requested.” Jarvis replies.

“Since when?” Darcy asks surprised.That can’t be right, she vaguely remembers an email from Pepper when she first started, raising concerns about the budget for that project.Darcy has been adjusting Dr. White’s lab budget based on the assumption that his numbers included the costs of Section 41 even if she wasn’t being provided details.If the paperwork is flowing outside of what she has access to it means his team’s budget is almost double the other labs.That can’t be right.

“I couldn’t say.” Jarvis chimes in. 

“Can we get those files now?” She asks and then, “Better question, do the current budget numbers for Dr. White’s lab include Section 41 spending?” 

There’s a pause, “No, the budget is only for non classified costs.” Jarvis says.“I can request the files from the liaison but it will take time to get them.” 

“Okay.” Darcy drags out the word in surprise.Even with the project being SHIELD contracted S.I. should still have budget oversight due to shared contributions.The information should be available.“Let’s do that.Use Tony’s name if you have to please.”

“Of course.” Jarvis agrees, pauses, and then continues, “They are not as complete, but the available shipping receipts from Section 41 are not marked as classified and contain details about shipments and supplies that could be pertinent to your search.” 

Darcy lets out a slow breath. “Brilliant.Can you pull them all and send them to my —“

“Darcy are you still here?” Ben’s voice calls out from just down the hall and Darcy waves a dismissive hand through the holographic data to close it just in time for Ben’s head to come around the corner of her door.“Were you talking to yourself?” He teases.

Darcy lets out a little laugh, “You know me.Just really excited about this latest round of work. I mean did you see the size of that pig Burns had her assistants walking through the halls today.”Ben laughs along with her. 

“Tell me you’re not here this late worried about research pigs.” Ben says, “You’re a workaholic.”

“Ha, make sure Pepper hears you say that.” Darcy sasses back, “I could use an in with the boss.”It’s a terrible joke considering her connections to the boss but Ben doesn’t need to know that. 

“I’m sure Pepper thinks you’re doing a great job.”He leans against the door frame and Darcy realizes this isn’t going to be a drive by conversation.“You are doing a great job.”He looks down as he speaks and runs a hand over the back of his neck.

“Thanks Ben.”Darcy says and she does genuinely mean it.She considers Ben a friend now.A friend with an obvious crush on her but still, a friend. 

“So, I know you’re new,” Darcy makes a face, “newish,” Ben amends, “but umm did you know S.I. has this gala every year?” He looks more nervous and Darcy feels like things are about to get awkward again.

“I heard a few of the techs from Bruce’s lab talking about it.” She’s not lying.She did hear the techs talking about it. She also spent several hours last night helping Pepper finalize the catering menu over mother/daughter martinis but Ben doesn’t need to know that last part. 

“I’m sure you’ll hear more about it soon.The invites started arriving today. You’ll get one soon.”He motions towards the space on her desk for inter office mail. “I know you said you wanted to settle in before your coworkers saw you after a few drinks but I figured it wouldn’t hurt to ask.”He trails off and Darcy has a rush of sympathy for the guy.He’s terrible at this. 

“Hurt to ask?” She doesn’t mean to drag out his pain but at this point she wants to be sure she understands if he’s asking her as a date or just asking if she plans to attend. 

“Oh, um right,” Ben rubs at his neck again as he starts again, “Would you want to go with me?To the gala I mean.”Yep, right back to awkward-town.Population, Dr. Ben Mathers. 

Darcy’s brain races to find them an out from this. Something to keep the professional friendship they’d been developing intact.“That’s so sweet Ben,” she starts to buy herself a few extra seconds but still comes up empty, “I’m not planning to go but if I decide to you’ll be the first to know.”It’s an incredibly lame response but his smile goes from nervous to hopeful.

“Great. You’d enjoy it I think, I heard the one last year was loads of fun.”He straightens up off the door and Darcy doesn’t dare hope this encounter is almost done. “Well maybe I can talk you into it tomorrow over lunch.”

“Maybe.” She agrees. 

“Are you heading out or going to stay and talk to yourself some more?” He’s back to easy teasing and Darcy feels some of the tension in her shoulders relax.

“Just a few more minutes. Have a good night.” She gives him a little wave which he returns and then he’s gone.

Darcy waits until she hears the ding of the elevator before she waves her hand to pull back up the floating files.She stares at the spread out information and then lets out a big sigh, dropping her head to the desktop.She needs to go home.Her stomach grumbles audibly in the silent office.She needs to eat. 

“Jarvis can you send me those shipping receipts you mentioned and make sure the request for the actual requisition budget files gets to the SHIELD liaison.” She starts to gather up her bag and slides her feet back in to abandoned heels.

“The receipts are on your tablet and the request has been filed.”The AI pauses, “If I may, Sir texted you several hours ago about joining he and Pepper for dinner.They have not ordered yet, can I tell them you’ll be arriving soon?” 

“Jarvis, are you meddling by choice or did Tony ask you to ask me like it was your idea?”Darcy stares up at the ceiling even though she knows there’s nothing there. 

“I’m afraid I’m not sure what you mean.” Jarvis finally says but the pause before his reply was answer enough.

“Sure you don’t buddy.Tell Tony I’m on my way up but I want comfort food, not whatever’s trendy this week.”She rolls her eyes thinking about last week’s failed sushi/burger fusion experiment.“Make sure he understands that means there better be mac and cheese.”

“I will pass the message along.”The AI’s dry delivery can’t hide the implied amusement.

There is mac and cheese, but it has truffle oil in it.Not exactly what Darcy would consider comfort food but close enough. The more exciting part of the meal is honestly the cheesecake Pepper insisted they bring in for dessert.It’s comfortable in the penthouse and it makes it easy to let all the concerns from the office fade away. 

Pepper keeps up a stream of interesting conversation and Tony draws Darcy out with leading questions about what she thinks is wrong with his latest design for Natasha’s widow’s bites (they’re too cute).Darcy has completely pushed aside the awkward way her day ended with Ben when Pepper brings up the gala.

“So I got confirmation today that the swing band you wanted is able to make the date.”Pepper says it around a sip of wine.

“Of course they were able to make the date, we offered to pay double.” Tony’s usual arrogance shines through and Darcy rolls her eyes. 

“They’re able to make the date without us needing to pay double.” Pepper has her scolding voice on, “Which is great because the event is already over budget.” 

“It’s an employee appreciation gala Pep. I’m not sure things like that are supposed to have budgets.We’re appreciating them.”Tony shoves a giant bite of the mac and cheese into his mouth and Darcy reaches over to snag a fried green bean off his plate.Comfort food need: satisfied.

“We won’t do much for them if we spend so much on the event we can’t employ them anymore.” Pepper quips back. It’s an empty threat and everyone at the table knows it. Tony’s the only one who scoffs.“Darcy,” Pepper turns to her, “Are you going to bring a date?This band is great for dancing.”There’s something sly in Pepper’s eyes and Darcy is yet again suspicious that she knows about Clint. 

“Actually,” Darcy takes a sip of wine for courage before she continues, “I might not go.I was thinking maybe I could take a trip that weekend. You know, get some time away.”It’s the easiest way to avoid dealing with Ben’s question and any other awkwardness the event could bring up. 

“What? Why not?”

“A trip? A trip where? Do you need a vacation because you can use the jet anytime you want.” 

Tony and Pepper both talk over each other and Darcy takes another long drink of wine.At this point she’s lucky she lives in the building, they’re on the second bottle and Darcy is certainly doing her part.

“I’m just not sure I want to —”Darcy starts but is interrupted.

“No,” Pepper is surprisingly firm, “This event is tradition.You may not publicly be a Stark at the moment but you will be one day and you work for Stark Industries now.You’re going.”It’s the closest Pepper has gotten to mom voice since Darcy was eighteen and she’s embarrassed by how well it still works on her.

“I mean Pep, if she—“ Tony starts up but Pepper shakes her head.

“Darcy,” Pepper looks straight at her, “It’ll be fun.We’ll get dressed up together like we used to and have a good night.You don’t have to walk the carpet with the Avengers but you are in a public role in the company now, you should attend and I really do think you should bring a date.”There’s a laser focus in Pepper’s eyes that doesn’t match her persuasive tone and for a moment it makes Darcy think. 

What if she did go with Clint?He’d be going as a member of the Avengers, he’s a wet dream in a tuxedo.They could go publicly as friends and use it as a stepping stone to revealing that they’re more than that.It could be an easy transition for everyone.He’d love it and she could finally start to touch him the way she wants to outside the privacy of her apartment.

“A date?” She finally chokes out.Darcy stares down at her plate still thinking about the logistics of getting Clint to agree without it being a full ‘we’ve been fucking for two years’ reveal. 

“Why are we all so focused on the date?” Tony’s upbeat tone sounds forced and Darcy interrupts her planning to reminisce, she used to love winding him up about boys.So many boys. “Besides,” he continues, “she only ever spends time with the scientists and the team most of whom are spoken for.Who’s she going to take, Barton? Can you imagine?”Tony laughs at his own joke but Darcy feels like she’s been dunked in ice water, all those tentative plans collapsing under Tony’s derision.She forces her own laugh and avoids looking at Pepper.

“She can bring whoever she wants, if she wants.”Pepper says it seriously enough that Darcy knows it’s for her benefit and that they’re clearly having a conversation within the conversation. “You’ll come?” Pepper phrases it like a question but Darcy knows there really isn’t a choice. 

“Of course I will.”She agrees looking up and forcing herself to smile broadly, “No promises on finding a man though.”Tony laughs and reaches out to tug at one of her curls.

“Cheesecake?” He asks the table, “I think it’s time for cheesecake.”He doesn’t wait for a response just jumps up heading towards the kitchen.

“He doesn’t know where it is,” Pepper says dropping her napkin on her plate, “be right back.”

As soon as she’s alone at the table Darcy takes a deep steadying breath.This is a mess waiting to happen.If the Avengers are going to be at the event then Clint will be attending.Darcy has no idea if he’ll expect her to go with him but she knows what he’ll want.He’ll want her on his arm, by his side, within easy reach of his mouth.She wants that too but Tony’s reaction to even the idea of it has her stopping cold. 

She and Tony are just getting to a good place, she doesn’t want to send them spiraling backwards while simultaneously causing a rift in his team.The team, where trust, as Clint just a few weeks ago pointed out, is often the difference between life and death on a mission.It’s a catch 22, keep up a charade that’s hurting Clint to protect him, to protect him and Tony from the risk that comes with compromised emotions. Pepper clearly knows though, or at least thinks she does which means if they’re going to continue to keep things safely in the dark they need some misdirection.Something to put everyone off the trail, and just like that Darcy realizes there’s already a solution to this problem.A very kind, awkward, convenient solution.

She texts Ben before she can second guess herself. 

**Hey, if the offer still stands I’d be happy to go to the gala with you.**

His reply is almost immediate.

**Great! I’m really looking forward to it.**

She’s just staring to lean into the sick feeling the whole situation is creating in her stomach when Tony reenters the room holding what clearly used to be a cheesecake but is now a smashed pile of cheesecake-like material and three forks. 

“There was an incident.”He mutters as he puts it down and offers her a fork. “This is the half that didn’t touch the floor.”

“We’re not going to talk about it are we?” Darcy asks sending a sly glance at Pepper who is retaking her seat with a very full glass of wine and a smug look on her face.

“Nope.” Tony pops the P and shoves a giant bite of the smushed cheesecake into his mouth.

Well, Darcy thinks, at least Pepper is clearly in her corner no matter who she is or is not secretly fucking. 

The dinner doesn’t last much longer after that.Tony is clearly pouting about whatever happened in the kitchen with Pepper and Darcy is still trying to figure out if she’s done something impulsive or brilliant by texting Ben.Before Darcy knows it she’s kissing Pepper’s cheek goodbye, hugging Tony, and riding the elevator back down to her own floor. 

Her apartment is dark when she pushes open the door but she knows Clint is here.They’d texted that afternoon about him staying over and he would have let her know if he needed to change their plans.Technically he has his own set of rooms in the tower in addition to his place in Bed Stuy. She knows he keeps things there, not that you’d know it by the state of her place. 

With Jarvis’ privacy protocols in place there’s no need to hide Clint’s presence within the apartment and over the last month little bits of him have popped up everywhere.His converse are kicked off by the front door, his favorite hoodie on the hook,a book he’s been reading is open over the arm of the couch, two of his service pistols are laying on her coffee table in pieces halfway through a cleaning.Darcy steps out of her heels and drops her bag before moving into the dim living room. She tiptoes past an empty pizza box on the floor by the couch and into the dark bedroom.

He’s curled up in the bed, body almost completely engulfed by the thick white comforter, only the mop of his dirty blonde hair visible in the dim light.Darcy can see his hearing aids on the nightstand but still tries to be quiet as she moves deeper into the room. She doesn’t bother with washing her face, the thought of crawling into his warmth and safety to ignore the rest of the world is too tempting.She just drops her clothes where she stands until she’s in just her lace panties.Clint’s body jerks the moment her knee presses into the mattress and Darcy reaches out on instinct to press a hand to the side of his neck, soothing him with fingers over his jaw.

“Time s’it?” He slurs out sleepily before turning his head to press a soft kiss to her palm.She could melt from the warmth it spreads through her. She wants to keep him safe from everything, protect him from anything that would do him harm but she can’t.She’s never been able to so she settles for what she can do. 

He’s not wearing the aids and his eyes are still shut so Darcy taps on his temple to get him to squint at her before she signs, “Late. Dinner, Pepper and Tony.”He nods once and then his eyes slide down and widen when he realizes she’s kneeling next to him in nothing but a lace thong. 

“Like that?” He signs one handed, the other hand waving at her bare chest for emphasis. 

“No.” She snaps two fingers down on her thumb with as much attitude as she can. 

“C’mere.” He says aloud, both arms reaching for her and Darcy sinks gratefully into his embrace, sliding under the covers until she’s pressed against him and everything that isn’t them just floats away.

She can feel the soft fabric of his sleep pants against her bare thighs and there’s something erotic about being the most naked person in the bed.His skin is flushed warm with sleep, his limbs heavy and movements slow, as he uses his considerable strength to push and pull her body into his preferred arrangement.Darcy buries her face in his neck and inhales deeply.He smells like gun oil, sweat, and the spicy undertone of his usual cologne.There’s a soft pressure against the top of her head that she knows is a kiss and then his fingers are at her chin tilting her head up to capture her lips.

There’s a lot of things Clint does that Darcy enjoys, but the slow lazy pull of his mouth against hers when he’s still half asleep is secretly her favorite.It’s like the acoustic version of her favorite song; rare but achingly familiar in all the right ways.He always makes her burn with need but when he’s like this, his lips soft and his tongue dragging against hers in lazy sweeps, the effect is devastating. She tangles her fingers in his hair, curling them through the short locks to rub at the base of his skull and is rewarded with a soft noise deep in his throat. 

He pulls away just enough that she can see his eyes, irises blown out with lust, “Want you.” He says and the rasp in his voice makes her nipples tighten in anticipation.Her throat is thick with something she refuses to acknowledge and he couldn’t hear her anyway so she just curls the fingers of one hand and pulls it back against her chest in a bastardized version of the sign for want.It makes his face go slack and he ducks his head to find her mouth again as one of his big warm hands slides down to cup her ass, pulling her hips against his. 

Clint is always patient in bed, always willing to do each act for it’s sake.He takes it to another level tonight, his mouth moving against hers until she’s writhing against him before he starts to trail wet open mouthed kisses down her face, over her jaw, along the column of her throat. 

He rolls them over until she’s on her back, his hips between her thighs and continues pressing his mouth down on her heated skin.By the time he gets to her chest and closes his mouth around an aching nipple Darcy’s hands are scrabbling at his shoulders, blunt nails pressing half moons into his skin as shetries to keep hold of her sanity.Liquid heat pools between her legs and she knows when she arches up to press herself against his chest she’s already smearing slick arousal over his stomach.

He sucks deeply on her nipple before releasing the swollen flesh with a soft bite and then he switches to give the other side similar attention. His hands are sliding over every bit of bare skin he can touch and Darcy is panting softly, she wants to beg him not to stop.When he finally pulls away with a soft groan his mouth is open and Darcy thinks he’s going to speak again.Going to tell her she’s a good girl, ask her what she wants, any number of things that would take them back into more familiar territory.Instead, he just watches her face with half lidded eyes for a long moment and then silently ducks down to press his mouth between her legs. 

She’s already so worked up in the quiet intensity of the night that the first swipe of his rough tongue over her lace panties forces a whine from her throat.Calloused hands slide up her thighs, twisting his fingers in the lace, Clint tugs the damp fabric down and off until she’s bare. There’s a charged moment where he just stares down at her spread out beneath him and Darcy can feel his gaze like a physical thing.Then he ducks his head again, sucking her clit into his mouth until she’s gasping for air through the whine in her throat. 

Hooking her legs over his shoulders, Darcy presses her heels into his back shamelessly using the leverage to lift her hips seeking more friction.Clint moves with her, switching to put consistent pressure on her clit with the flat of his tongue even as his arms wrap around her thighs, his biceps bunching as he pulls her back down to the mattress.He starts to work at her swollen flesh in earnest, licking and sucking at her labia and clit, his tongue dipping down and into her on every wide stroke.

Darcy surrenders to it.There’s no other word for the way she allows herself to sink into the feeling of his mouth and his hands until there’s nothing left of her except the places he’s touching.Her hands scrabble at the sheets and tug at her nipples while his mouth and fingers drag her closer to the white hot peak of release.The buildup is verging on too much, her thighs trembling around his head, every muscle in her body pulled taut with orgasmic expectation. The wave she’s been riding since that first kiss finally crests and breaks when he presses two fingers deep into her dripping cunt, curling them forward to hit just the right spot while his tongue presses flat and hot against her clit. 

She arches off the bed again in the pleasure of the moment as sparks race though her and she can feel his arms flexing around her thighs trying to maintain his position between her legs.He manages it and Darcy comes down to the feeling of soft slow swipes of his tongue against sensitive flesh before he pulls his fingers free in an almost embarrassing flood of wetness.She feels the soft brush of his hair against her thigh and lifts up on her elbows to look down at him. 

Clint looks strung out, all heavy eyes, messy hair and swollen lips as he rests his head against her hip.He’s trailing a hand up and down her stomach in a slow stretch of friction that’s sending aftershocks through her limbs.She wants him on top of her, she wants him in her, she wants him anyway she can have him, she wants to whisper all the things she usually hides away deep inside in his ear. The feeling is so overwhelming she knows he can probably see it on her face.She knows it’s being reflected back at her on his.

She opens her mouth to ask for what she needs and then snaps it closed.They’ve been here in this bubble of soft quiet so far, who is she to change things. Instead she reaches out, pulling at his shoulders, arms, and hair.Clint let’s her drag him up her body until he’s braced over her on his forearms. Darcy pushes at his loose sweatpants, sliding them over his hips and ass until he’s wonderfully naked against her.Turning her head, she nuzzles her face against one flexed bicep, biting down just enough to make him hiss, his hips jerking his hot length against her stomach.She looks back to his face and the heat in his eyes makes her cunt throb around nothing.He can fix that for her. 

As though he read her mind, he guides one of her legs up and over his hip before reaching down to line himself up.The bump and press of the blunt tip of his cock against her clit makes her stomach muscles jump and her hips jerk.There’s a huff of noise from him at the movement but Darcy is sunk too deep to do anything more than press her mouth back to his bicep in anticipation. He doesn’t make her wait long, two more swipes of his cock through wet folds to get slick and then he sinks into her in one long stroke until Darcy can barely breathe through the stretch of him. 

He starts to move and it’s slow and hot and it makes her chest ache.His hips roll over her in graceful drawn out strokes, his pelvic bone grinding against her clit on every downward thrust.She closes her eyes against the burn and fullness of him, feeling raw in the tenderness of the moment. It’s too much.

Darcy can feel a swell of something she still refuses to name surge through her at the careful way his hand grips her hip and the feeling of his mouth moving soundlessly against her neck.She’s overwhelmed, everything she works so so hard to keep locked down finally threatening to bubble up and out of her mouth in a declaration she’d never be able to take back.So, instead she angles her hips seeking a rougher drag, a faster pace, anything to break the spell.

Clint is having none of it though.Her attempts are met by carefully controlled strength and the same steady drag of his hips against hers as before, grinding her clit in perfect rhythm, threatening to burn her alive from the inside out.His fingers come up to tangle in her hair and Darcy opens her eyes unprepared for the completely unguarded emotion looking back at her from his blue green gaze.His lips brush hers and it’s suddenly enough. The orgasm slides through her body like a thief, stealing her breath and she watches it mirrored on his face.His mouth going slack at the feeling of her cunt spasming around him even as his eyebrows bunch and his steady pace finally stutters before he surges forward one more time and sills. 

The aftermath is all panting breath and electric aftershocks. Clint drops his head to press his face into her neck, his mouth moving against flushed skin and Darcy runs her hands down his sweat slick back in long sweeping strokes.She can still feel him pulsing between her legs.His weight over her is comforting and safe until he rolls them, sliding from between her legs on the movement and they end up face to face on their sides both still breathing heavy. 

“That was —“ Clint’s whisper is loud in the muffled dark of the bedroom. 

“Yeah,” Darcy agrees rolling over onto her back while she nods her fist at him in sign. She gnaws on her bottom lip to keep from saying more.

“You want water?” Clint asks, already pulling himself up to sit on the edge of the bed. Darcy nods her fist again to sign yes and gets up herself to head into the bathroom.

Splashing water on her face she looks up to stare at herself in the mirror.She looks wrecked, it almost feels like a replay of the night a month ago but with less snot and more wide eyed confusion. Darcy has a sinking suspicion she just made love with her we-avoid-feelings-but-we’re-very-committed-partner and she does not know what to do with this new reality.Fuck.Taking a deep breath she cleans herself up, straightens her shoulders, and locks it down. 

She emerges into the main room of the apartment a few minutes later wearing one of his tshirts to find Clint in the kitchen. He’s got his sweatpants on, his hearing aids in, a glass of water already set out for her, and he’s pouring cereal into a bowl.She comes around behind him to push herself up against his back, pressing her face between his shoulder blades. 

“You okay baby girl?” His voice rumbles through her.

“Mmmhmm” She still feels boneless and lazy from her two orgasms, not to mention the emotions still heavy in her chest.Clint starts to turn to face her and Darcy tightens her arms around him. 

“So it’s like that then?” He abandons his cereal to press his hands over hers on his chest. “You too cock drunk to have a conversation?” He teases, pushing his hips back into hers.

“No,” she finally pulls away and hoists herself up on the counter, “what’s up?”

He picks his cereal bowl back up, leaning into the counter next to her and Darcy drops her head onto his shoulder still looking for as much skin to skin contact as she can get.

“I’m sure you’re aware there’s this mandatory gala thing coming up in a few weeks.” He takes a bite of cereal, cutting his eyes over to her and Darcy feels panic spike through her entire body.She’d put the gala and everything about it away in a neat little box the minute she’d crawled into bed with him.Now it’s being forcibly dragged back out into the open. 

She swallows thickly and sits up all the way so they’re no longer touching.“Yeah,” she agrees, “I’ve heard.”Just like with Ben it’s not a lie but it’s not everything and Darcy hates that she’s been this shitty person twice in one night. 

“Well,” Clint continues, “I was thinking maybe we should go together.Me in a tux, you in a dress.Could be a good first public outing as an us.”

Darcy feels like she’s going to faint.She clutches the edge of the counter with numb hands.She’s an idiot.Sure, agreeing to go with Ben made sense in the moment, with Tony sitting there talking shit and the risk of messing up what they were rebuilding looming large, but she’d made that choice with her Clint box closed. She really needed to look into a coping mechanism beyond compartmentalization.In the meantime though she needs to say something.Say anything.

“Darce?” Clint is giving her a searching look over his cereal bowl and she forces a smile on to her face.She can do this.Play it casual.She and Ben never established it was a date so they’re going as friends to put Tony off the trail.Clint is a spy, he’ll understand a little misdirection.“You in there?” Clint teases and Darcy is slammed back to the moment, plan ready to be executed. 

“Yes, sorry.Spaced out.Maybe I am cock drunk.”She gives him a weak smile.

“Sure,” he snorts a laugh but he sounds nervous, “so what do you think? You wanna go with me?” He trails his fingers over her bare thigh with the question. 

“I can’t,” his hand pulls back, but she pushes forward. “I was going to tell you but it all just happened at dinner.Pepper was hinting that she knew about us and Tony got weird about it so I told Ben Mathers I’d go with him. I figured it was good to put them off the trail you know. Just as friends though with Ben, I’d be going with him just as friends I mean.”Clint has taken a full step back from her by the time she’s finished her rambling speech.

“Ben Mathers was at your dinner with Pepper and Tony?” Clint sounds confused but not mad and Darcy feels like maybe it’s all going to work out.She can explain this. She can fix it all.

“No.” She starts, “Ben asked me earlier tonight at work and I said no for obvious reasons but then at dinner Pepper was hinting at you and me and then Tony was talking so much shit so I texted Ben to accept. As misdirection, you know?”She knows immediately the added detail has only made things worse.Clint puts down the cereal bowl, his face smoothing into the blank mask she knows he uses for work.

“Ben Mathers asked you out earlier today, you said no, but then Tony and Pepper hinted that they might know about us so you accepted to put them off the trail rather than admit to them we’ve been together for two years?” It sounds so much worse when he says it. 

“Yes.” Her response comes out small and squeaky. 

Clint stares at her for a long moment and Darcy doesn’t think she’s ever felt so exposed.“I have to go.”He says, his voice almost robotic.

“What?” She reaches for him as she asks the question but he’s already moving quickly away from her.“What do you mean you have to go?”She asks jumping off the counter to follow him as he walks with calm purpose into the bedroom. 

“I can’t be here.”He says over his shoulder and he’s already got a shirt on, jeans halfway up his hips. 

“Clint,” she takes a step towards him, hand outstretched and he turns on his heel, his own hands held up, palms out, in a clearly defensive gesture.The move is so jarring it physically forces her back a step.“I can —“ she starts.

“No.” He interrupts, his voice sharp, “You can’t” and Darcy is left open mouthed as he steps around her, marching back out into the living room. 

By the time she’s gathered her wits enough to follow him he’s already putting the magazine back into the second pistol from the coffee table and if they weren’t in the middle of what is clearly a fight she would find his speed at weapons reassembly very sexy.The gun disappears onto his person and then he’s gathering up his book, snatching his hoodie off the hook, and kneeling down to pull on his shoes.

“Clint,” she starts again and when he looks up at her his eyes are glassy. 

“I have to go Darcy.”He stands and she watches him waver for a moment before he steps into her space.“I can’t do this right now.Not with you.” 

Darcy feels like she’s going to fly apart at the seams.It’s been less than two minutes since they were joking in the kitchen.No more than 15 since he was inside her and she was struggling to keep love from her voice.She’s not wearing pants. 

He trails a hand down her cheek and she can see indecision warring in his eyes and then something snaps down and he goes blank again.He presses a kiss to her temple.“Clint, what are—“

“I’ll text you or something.”He mutters the interruption into her hair and then, in a rustle of cloth, he’s out the door. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who’s reading, commenting, subscribing, and leaving kudos. 
> 
> Bear with me for a few chapters here — I promised a happy ending to this story and I plan to deliver. 
> 
> If you liked it, or even if you didn’t, I’d love to her from you.


	9. Foolish and Cruel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There’s some girl talk, Darcy lets her temper out at work, and Natasha visits to get in a quick jab.

“And what did you say?” Jane asks, her face a mask of sympathy.It’s the morning after Clint stormed from her apartment in a whirlwind of unspoken emotions and Darcy is sitting in the back corner of the cafeteria with her best friend for an emergency girl talk breakfast.

“I didn’t really get to say anything. He was gone in less than two minutes.It was scarily efficient.”Darcy stares down at her oatmeal.Scarily efficient had been the overwhelming theme the night before, the way Clint managed to collect and remove all sign of himself from her apartment in the space of a few heartbeats. She was still reeling. “He said he’d text me or something.”

“Or something?” Jane whisper shrieks and then much softer, “he’ll text you or something?” 

Darcy scans the room to make sure the outburst didn’t attract any attention but it’s so early they’re still mostly alone, “Yes, or something.”She finally mutters back.

“He’s an idiot.” Jane snaps fiercely before taking a violent bite of an apple slice.“You two have been dancing around all of this for the last two years, he’s desperately in love with you, and he just walks out saying he’ll text you.It’s bullshit.” Darcy’s chest swells with affection for her best friend. “You’re an idiot too though. You should not have said yes to Ben and you should have told Clint how you feel.” Jane says and Darcy lets out a low groan.

“I know.”Darcy drops her head to the table. “What do I do Janie? I hurt him and I didn’t mean to.I was trying to... I don’t really know what I was trying to do but I would never try to hurt him.”

“I know you wouldn’t.” Jane says softly, a hand petting at Darcy’s head, “I mean why is it a secret anyways? You two have never been very circumspect before we moved here.” 

Jane’s right, they weren’t exactly trying to keep it a secret before New York although they didn’t advertise things for sure.At first keeping things kind of quiet had been because there wasn’t anything to tell.By the time there was something worth talking about being quiet about it was second nature.It worked though because between Clint’s spysassin work and Darcy’s history of hiding Tony they both had sneaky habits that were hard to break. 

“We weren’t obvious about it though.” Darcy argues, lifting her head to search Jane for some reassurance.

“You went on dates, traveled together, kissed in public.” Jane muses, “I used to have to break you two up with the squirt gun when you’d get going on the lab couch.” 

“That was in New Mexico and only you, Thor, and Erik were there to know anything about anything.It would be different here.Clint would probably have to file paperwork with SHIELD or something if we got caught here and that’s without mentioning Tony.”Darcy whines, “This is all Tony’s fault. If he hadn’t made that stupid joke.” 

“This started way before last night Darcy.” Jane’s voice has the know it all edge it gets when she’s about to school someone on science and Darcy hates it.“Clint’s been giving you signs he wanted more for months. Even before we moved here he’d been talking about changing his home base location with SHIELD to Peunto Antiguo, remember?” Jane crunches down on another apple slice and Darcy gives her a dirty look.

“We settled that though.It didn’t make any sense for him to change his rally point since you were filing all those grants for us to leave soon.”Darcy is genuinely confused by this turn in the conversation. 

She does remember Clint bringing up the option four months ago but she’d told him not to bother because New Mexico wasn’t permanent for her and Jane.He’d argued he could just change it again when they moved but it had sounded like a lot of wasteful paperwork to Darcy.Why bother changing his location permanently when he could keep coming out to visit when he had a weekend on stand down.He’d stopped pushing and Darcy hadn’t thought about the whole thing since. 

“Oh Darce,” Jane reaches out to pet her shoulder, “it wasn’t about having a permanent location. He wanted to officially be where you were. It was probably the equivalent of him asking you to live together.”Jane shoves another apple slice in her mouth, “Granted since the two of you communicate like toddlers he didn’t do a very good job of it.”

“What?” Darcy stares at her friend, “Well that’s just...” she struggles to find the words. If Jane is right it puts the last few months in a new light and Darcy doesn’t like it.She doesn’t like any of this. “Why couldn’t we just keep doing what we were doing? I like what we were doing... it was safe.”

“I don’t know,” Jane says, “I’m not actually good at this relationship stuff.I’m just better at it than you apparently.”Darcy searches the table for something non lethal to throw at the tiny astrophysicist.“What are you going to do now?”

The question pulls Darcy up short.She’d spent a sleepless night asking herself the same thing and every option she came up with left someone potentially getting hurt, often more than one someone.“Hope he texts me or something.” Darcy finally admits out loud. 

“With the full knowledge that long term that’s just going to make everything worse?” Jane asks, that sympathetic look back on her face.

“Probably.” Darcy picks up her spoon and shoves a giant bite of oatmeal in her mouth.

“Okay then.” Jane’s tone says she has strong opinions she’s not going to voice but then, “Can we talk about the request for a new quantum antemeter I put in last week.I saw that it was marked more information needed and I really think you’re being a bitch about it.” 

“Jesus Jane, don’t mince your words.” Darcy deadpans rolling her eyes but she welcomes the distraction.It’s a good reason to push all the confusion and hurt over Clint out to mind for a little while. 

“What?!” Jane shrugs, “I need it.If those forms allowed more than 1,500 words in the reason for request box I could have really explained why I need it to measure the currents flowing through the containment field but there wasn’t enough space to speak to the specific nature of the particles and my theory on why we need to be measuring.....” Darcy lets Jane’s swelling science speech flow over her through the rest of breakfast, on the ride back to the R&D floor and well into the morning.It makes it easy to push everything else far away.

~0~

Darcy continues to distract herself from the situation with Clint for the next week by diving into work.By day she is a force to be reckoned with, the R&D department has never been more organized and she’s got the labs running like a Swiss watch, even Tony’s.By night, she’s a disaster. 

Alone in her apartment there’s nothing to help keep her mind off Clint and every inch of the space reminds her of him from the kitchen where they’d cooked and laughed to the leather couch where he’d loved to spread her wide, kneeling between her thighs.Her nightmares come back tenfold and she’s lucky if she’s getting two hours of uninterrupted sleep a night. 

By the Monday after he left, Darcy is feeling stretched thin.The missing archer not only hasn’t texted her but seems to have fled the tower entirely.She shouldn’t be surprised, if Clint doesn’t want to be found he won’t be.

The lack of sleep and unaddressed conflict makes Darcy irritable but gives her a lot of time and an excuse to hyper focus on the mystery of Section 41.The shipping receipts Jarvis found were proving to be much less helpful than she’d hoped.They weren’t redacted but the only information available on them are the dates of delivery and the item source city neither of which is going to explain what’s going on.To compound her frustration, the request for the paperwork from the unnamed SHIELD liaison was denied, which is why she’s currently trailing Dr. White around his lab trying to get him to explain. 

“Miss Lewis I’m not sure what you think badgering me is going to achieve here.I have important work to do.” Dr. White sounds harassed but Darcy can’t bring herself to care.

“As I’ve already explained it is my responsibility to manage your budget, all of your budget,” Darcy adds, cutting off the interruption she saw coming on Dr. White’s face. “That means I need to at least know how much is being spent, even on the classified work which means I need requisition forms.”This is the third time they’ve gone over this.

“And as I’ve already explained the work in Section 41 is highly classified as are those equipment requests.If you need something you can talk to the SHIELD liaison.” Dr. White turns away from her stalking towards the far side of the room, scattering assistants as he goes. 

Darcy follows, “I put in a request and it was denied.”

“And that wasn’t a clue that maybe this is none of your business?” Dr. White throws the cheap shot over his shoulder as he snatches up a half built propulsion disc. 

“I’ll have you know I filed an appeal and I’m still waiting to hear back which is why I’m here asking you to put in a good word with the liaison.”Darcy’s voice raises against her best efforts.She’s just trying to do this job the right way. 

“Did it occur to you that the request was denied because SHIELD doesn’t need a 24 year old soft sciences graduate putting her nose in their classified work?”Dr. White’s voice is sharp across the lab and Darcy feels heat bloom high on her cheeks. 

“Did it occur to you that you don’t work for SHIELD?”Darcy snaps back, curled fists pressing into her hips in an effort to keep what little calm she has left.“Did it occur to you that in addition to my degree in political science I also graduated with a minor in engineering.” Fucking high and might dick. 

“Miss Lewis,” Dr. White turns to face her and his voice is the definition of condescension, “I can appreciate your desire to do the job but this is way above your pay grade.”

“Fine,” Darcy says putting as much false sweetness into her tone as possible,“then while I can appreciate your desire to be a dick about this you should know that based on the information I could gather you’re operating at almost double your approved expenses.So until I know why, you can consider your non classified funding frozen.”She gives him a mockery of a smile and thanks Thor she wore a pencil skirt and blouse today so she looks like the professional she’s playing at.

“You can’t do that!” Dr. White’s face flushes in anger and he drops the tech he’s holding with a crash onto the work bench.

“Not only can I do it, it’s _my_ job.” Darcy doesn’t wait for a response to that last shot just turns on her very expensive Pepper approved shoes and stalks from the room. 

She makes it back to her office and gets the door closed before she has to lean bodily against her desk to fight shaking limbs.She spares a thought for taking the entire situation to Tony or Pepper but dismisses it almost immediately.If Tony wasn’t her father it wouldn’t be an option to take issues like this to the majority owner of the company or Pepper as the CEO. She got this job on merit, or so they kept telling her.She needs to prove it. 

“Fuck.” She whispers as she drops into her desk chair.Beyond issues with the actual budgets that display in the lab wasn’t going to make her any friends.None of those lab assistants looked thrilled with her announcement that she was going to take their money.“Fuck.” She hisses again then huffs a small laugh.It was almost worth it to call him a dick to his face though.

“Jarvis,” Darcy says softly, “any update on that appeal to the SHIELD liaison?”

“Not yet unfortunately.” Jarvis responds and Darcy nods slowly, flexing her fingers through the last of her adrenaline rush. 

“Does the liaison have an office in this building?” She asks, maybe she could just go down there and force the asshole to give her the paperwork.Really, she could also just hack in and find it but going the illegal route does have the whole getting arrested thing as a possible risk.Not worth it yet really.

She’s pulled out of her musing about whether or not the look on Dr. White’s face would be worth jail time by her phone ringing.A quick glance at the screen shows Pepper’s name and Darcy groans.Of course that dickwad would rat her out.She takes a deep breath, “Hold that thought J,” she says and swipes to answer. 

“Hey Pep, how’s it going?” She tries very hard to stay casual.

“Darcy, did you call Dr. White a dick in front of his entire lab staff?” Pepper sounds exasperated. 

“I don’t think it was his entire staff.” Darcy hedges around answering the actual question.

“Darcy,” Pepper says her name on a sigh, “What happened?” 

“He called me a 24 year old soft sciences graduate putting my nose where it doesn’t belong!” Darcy whines back and she hates how it makes her sound like a child.

“Well that’s uncalled for as well but still. Did you tell him you were going to cut his funding?” There’s no accusation in Pepper’s tone just a question.

“He’s over budget and it’s within my responsibilities to limit spending until we figure out how to get things back in the black.”Darcy replies defensively and there’s a long pause.

“Yes. Yes it is.” Pepper pauses again and then, “Why don’t you take the afternoon off and come out with me?I’m going to look at dresses for the gala and I know you don’t have one yet.It’s only a week away.”Pepper has shifted from her CEO voice to mom voice and Darcy relaxes into it just a bit. 

“I have dresses.” Darcy says, she does have dresses.Not black tie dresses but she does own several. 

“You don’t have a dress for this.Let me take you out.You’ve been working like crazy.We both know you could use the break and we can pick something out for Ben.”Pepper say’s the scientist’s name like it hurts her.If Darcy had any doubts Pepper knew about Clint her reaction to Darcy’s news about going to the gala with Ben Mathers removed them.

“I have a lot to do here.” Darcy says but they both know it’s for show.

“Just come meet me in the garage.Happy is driving.” Pepper says, “Bring Jane if you can tear her away.”

“Yeah, okay.” Darcy doesn’t bother saying goodbye just taps the screen and pushes herself back up.At least dress shopping will keep her mind off the absolute disaster that is her life right now. 

It does not end up being a distraction.By the time Darcy has dragged Jane away from the science and her many new science minions to meet Pepper, they find the S.I. CEO standing near the car with Natasha.It doesn’t matter how nicely Pepper says Nat asked to come along, Darcy can feel the judgey eyes of Clint’s best friend and partner all over her the entire trip to the small designer boutique Pepper favors.The only saving grace of the entire experience is the free champagne she’s handed the minute they stepped through the door.

Darcy is on her second glass of the bubbly liquid and in the third dress that’s been laid out for her.She thinks both are probably a bad idea.She takes another long look at herself in the mirror and sighs.If she were going with Clint this is the dress she would pick. 

The strapless bodice is wrapped in a deep purple chiffon that hugs her curves until it flares at the waist to fall in soft layers to the floor, the color fading to black as it goes.The personal shopper paired it with a glittering black belt and Darcy runs her fingers over the glinting onyx stones.She can almost see the way Clint’s eyes would go soft over her wearing his favorite color.She shakes her head and downs the rest of her champagne.

“How’s it going Darce?” Jane’s voice is just on the other side of the dressing room curtain.

“I’m not sure about any of them.” Darcy lies.

“Are you going to show us the purple?” Pepper asks from the dressing room to her left, “I thought that one would be perfect.”

Darcy takes another long look at herself, “No, I don’t think that one is right.” She calls back, already reaching to undo the belt and get at the zipper on the dress.

“What about this one?” Natasha asks, shoving a dress through the curtain.Darcy shimmies out of the current dress and takes the hanger. 

Nat’s clearly sending a message.The dress is so dark red it almost looks black with lace appliqué over a sheer material on top, it falls to the floor in a long sweep of silk.Darcy pulls it on and looks at herself in the mirror.The sharp points of the lace are stark against the swell of her breasts and the lines of her collarbones, the color almost too dark against her skin.She looks like a movie villain.She supposes this was Nat’s point and if the shoe fits. 

“Are you going to show us?” Pepper’s voice comes from outside the curtain now and Darcy steps through to stand in front of them.Pepper is wearing a classic looking one shouldered dress in a soft gray, she looks stunning as she raises an eyebrow at Darcy in question. 

“What?” Darcy says, “Natasha picked it out.”

“It suits you.” The Black Widow says, smoothing an imaginary wrinkle out of the ebony silk on her own hip.

“It is a look” Jane says, “very powerful?” She finishes it like a question, “Do you like mine?” She’s wearing a pale pink mess of floating layers. She looks like a fairy. 

“You look like a fairy princess Jane.” Darcy replies, “Thor will love it.” He will too, he loves when Jane dresses up. 

“Thanks!” Jane chirps already turning her gaze back to the mirror to tug at the dress, adjusting fit. 

“What about the green one Darcy? You don’t have to go floor length.”Pepper is eyeing her critically and Darcy knows her step-mother is hoping she’ll pick something more colorful and soft.

“I think I’ll take this one.” Darcy says with a shrug. “Natasha’s right, it suits me.” 

“Okay, if you’re sure.”Pepper does not sound sure but she does sound resigned. “Can you all keep yourselves busy for a little bit longer? I have two more I want to try on.”Pepper says already ducking back into her dressing room.

“Sure thing Pep.”Darcy agrees as the other two make noncommittal noises.

Darcy sheds the dress and hands it over to one of the sales people to be set aside before redonning her pencil skirt and blouse to go browse the rest of the store.She’s examining a kick ass pair of boots when Natasha finds her, sliding up into her personal space with an intentional sound of arrival.

“I thought you were in DC?” Darcy says hoping for small talk.

“I had to come back to help out a friend.”Nat responds and the blandness in her voice does nothing to hide her meaning. 

“I hope things are okay with your friend then.” Darcy carefully sets the boot in her hand back onto the shelf. 

“I don’t have time for coy right now.” Natasha says and Darcy turns to face her head on.

“I’m not sure you’ve ever been coy with me.” Darcy knows it’s not a good idea to pick a fight with a woman who can kill her in seconds but she can already feel her temper rising, still on edge from the confrontation that morning.

“What is wrong with you?” The Black Widow also seems to be on a hair trigger. “He’s not asking you to announce it to the press, just give him something.”Darcy is suddenly furious. With Natasha, with the situation, with Clint, mostly with herself. 

“I’m not sure how it’s any of your business.”She snaps back trying to keep her voice low enough to not be heard over the mood music of the store. 

“You made it my business when you hurt him badly enough that he had to call.I’ve always trusted you with him but this was foolish and cruel Darcy.”Natasha’s tone makes her feel two inches tall and it’s really the last thing she needs today.She can feel all the anger and anxiety she’s been holding back for the last month about to pour out when they’re interrupted.

“Everything okay?” Jane is standing a few feet behind Nat with her dress in a garment bag over one arm.She looks concerned. 

Darcy is saved from answering by Nat as she spins on a heel, “Great! I was explaining to Darcy that she’d never be able to keep those boots clean in the city.”Natasha’s voice is bright and Jane gives Darcy a searching look over her shoulder. 

“Yep,” Darcy agrees, “Has Pepper picked one yet?”

“Yes, she’s getting them to pack it all up now.”Jane doesn’t look convinced by their positive tones but she lets it drop and they all wait around awkwardly until Pepper is ready to go. 

The ride back to the tower is tense. Pepper keeps up a running commentary on gossip she learned from the sales ladies but nothing can distract Darcy from gazing out the window moodily.Natasha’s words are running through her mind on repeat, _foolish and cruel_. Both words suggest that Darcy is both immature and to blame for the state of things.The hardest part is Darcy agrees.

Between the conversation with Jane earlier this week and the not sleeping well, Darcy has had a lot of time to re-examine every interaction with Clint she’s ever had.She’d always thought they were on the same page about keeping things quiet but looking back she can suddenly see a pattern emerging that doesn’t paint her in a good light.From that first night when she didn’t ask him to stay to the way she didn’t bother to ask for his number when he had to leave for a new op a week later. 

She thinks she deserves some credit for being the first to text him but it’s one step forward in a long history of holding them back.She was the one to pick get away locations where they wouldn’t be recognized, she was the one to refuse his offer to relocate closer, she was the one that asked him not to put her on his emergency contact list and hadn’t put him on hers.She’d had practical reasons for all of those decisions but she knows what the underlying issue is. Admitting she cares means opening herself up to his loss.She’s not even remotely ready to deal with it.She keeps all these things boxed up tight in her brain for a reason. Not that it helps, she’s basically lost him already.

Their arrival back at the tower cuts her brooding short and Darcy hangs back when Pepper and Jane climb from the car hoping to catch Natasha alone.There’s a question she’s desperate to ask and she’d prefer not to be overheard.In true spy fashion, Natasha seems to realize what’s going on and doesn’t move from her seat, holding up a finger to Happy instead until he gives Darcy a curious look but closes the door.

“Yes?” Natasha is watching her carefully and Darcy straightens her shoulders.

“Is he out on an op?” It’s been weighing on Darcy since she realized that she hadn’t seen a hint of him around the tower.In their entire two year history, no matter how serious they were or weren’t he’d never failed to let her know when he was leaving and returning from a mission.The idea that he might have left without telling her has kept her up at night just as much as the nightmares. 

The question makes Natasha’s face uncharacteristically open.“No.” The red head says gently, “He’s just been staying at his place.Kate’s keeping him company.”It’s far more information than Darcy asked for and she can see the olive branch she’s being offered. 

“Thank you.”Darcy says quietly, taking a deep breath she climbs out of the car and marches to the elevators without looking back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who read, commented, left kudos, and subscribed so far. You guys are awesome and I’m so overwhelmed by the response to this fic! 
> 
> If you’re liking things, or if you’re not, let me know. I love hearing from everyone!
> 
> I’ve also been notified that not everyone likes to get a reply. If you do not want me to reply to your comment for any reason you can end it with NR and I won’t engage with your note. I’m sorry if I’ve made anyone uncomfortable before now, I just get excited about connecting with all of you.


	10. The Gala

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy’s nightmares get worse, everyone goes to the employee gala, and lots of emotions run high.

The week leading up to the gala is excruciatingly slow for Darcy. 

It starts the day after the shopping trip when the embarrassment and anger from her outburst with Dr. White are still fresh. When she gets to work everyone on the floor has heard what happened.Darcy forces her way through several hours of people cutting off conversations every time she enters a room before she gives up and escapes to Tony’s workshop.

For his part, Tony seems thrilled to have his prodigal daughter suddenly in his space.Looking up from his latest project he pushes his goggles up into messy hair and greets her with a, “I hear you finally told Jim White where he can shove his pretentious attitude. Excellent work kiddo.” Darcy just pulls herself up onto the table next to him and practically deflates. 

“I got carried away. He’s being an asshole about that side project he’s got going on.”She doesn’t want to make a big deal of it.She’s supposed to manage the R&D teams not bring every little conflict to her dad for help.

“Side project?” Tony sounds a little confused but shrugs it away, “You want me to look in to it?”She can tell the offer is genuine but he’s already dropped the welding goggles back into place. 

“Nah, I’ve got it handled.”Darcy picks up an abandoned component from the table and fiddles with the wiring. “When did you eat last?Can I have Jarvis order in some lunch for us?”

Tony looks up at her over the edge of the tinted glasses, “You want to eat lunch with your old man?”Even after weeks of spending regular time together she still catches him unaware like this sometimes.It makes her heart heavy every time. 

“Yeah, I could use some unconditional love.”She says twisting at the wires in her hands. 

“I’ve always got plenty of that for you.” Tony agrees and starts his torch up again.“Jarvis get the food from the place with those dumplings the kiddo likes.”

“Of course.” Jarvis intones from above them. 

“You going to hang out?” Tony asks, he’s carefully moving small metal pieces into place on the table and spot welding them into place. 

“Yep, I brought my tablet.Can we put on music?”She asks jumping down from the table to go set herself up on the couch across the room.

“Jarvis, tunes.” Tony demands and the room fills with the clash of AC/DC.

It becomes her routine for the week after that.Darcy gets to her office as early as she can, handles everything that requires her presence on the R&D floor and then escapes to Tony’s workshop where she finishes her day on the couch in the corner.Usually it’s just her and Tony but sometimes Bruce stops by to help Tony with a project and they all chat for a bit. 

Tony never comments on the sudden change or increase in their time together for which Darcy is grateful.He also doesn’t comment on her lacking appetite or the dark circles under her eyes which are only getting darker.He just keeps up a steady stream of banter or loud music and lets her be, it’s exactly what she needs and she rejoices in the familiarity of it.He still hums the wrong song under his breath when he’s trying to solve a particularly difficult problem.He’s still an asshole when Darcy corrects his math.He still forgets to eat when he’s focused.He’s still so very much her father.

The days finally drag on until it’s Friday, the night before the gala.Darcy hasn’t talked to Clint in ten days, the longest they’ve ever gone minus a comms blackout without talking since that first text two years ago and she’s a mess.Tony’s workshop might be an escape but clearly nothing can save her from her own bad dreams and last night had been worse than usual.She’d given up on sleep at 4am and just gotten out of bed to head to work.Now it’s 5:30 and she’s in the small kitchenette on the R&D floor making a cup of coffee to try and keep the yawns at bay. 

“Good morning.” Ben’s voice is so surprising Darcy shrieks, spinning on her heel and sending hot coffee over her hand.“Shit! Sorry sorry.”Ben is already moving towards her with apologies on his lips.

“Jesus.”Darcy takes a deep breath and sets her mug down shaking off her scalded hand.“You scared me.Why are you here so early?”She gives him an odd look.The floor should be locked down to research staff until 6. 

“I got let up early to check on an active experiment.”Ben says holding out a towel to help her clean up.

“Oh, how’s it going?” Darcy is aware that she’s been neglecting the check-in part of her job recently.She’s been too focused on her own issues and she doesn’t really want to meet with the lab assistants to get the updates. 

“Good, good.”He says lightly.“Can I make you another coffee?I’m really sorry about that I was just so surprised to see you.You haven’t been around much lately.”It doesn’t sound like a question but Darcy can see the curiosity on his face. 

“Tony asked me to help him with something he’s working on.”The lie feels odd on her lips.Darcy has lied about and for Tony a million times but it feels wrong now.Probably because she’s lying to Ben about so many other things and he just seems so genuinely nice. 

“Coffee?” He asks and Darcy shakes her head.

“No, this is still fine.Thank you though.”She says and watches him rock on his heels awkwardly.“How’s your week been?”She aims for casual.She’s barely seen him since she agreed to go to the gala with him, too overwhelmed by everything else but she supposes the event itself is basically upon them.

“Good so far.” He says, and then, “Are we still on for tomorrow?I wasn’t sure with how busy you’ve been.”He looks so hopeful, warm brown eyes scanning her face and then looking away in embarrassment.

Darcy feels like crap.Not only has she managed to hurt Clint with this charade but she’s dragged Ben into things too.Natasha is right, she’s been _foolish and cruel_.Still, she can’t see a way out of it at this point.“Yes.I have the dress and everything.I’ll meet you there at 7?” She tacks on the last part in a desperate effort to make sure he realizes this is an as friends thing.She sees the hint land in the way his eyes dim just a bit.

“Sure.”He says it slowly and Darcy gives him a smile. She can tell she’s disappointed him, “Yep, that’ll work.”He’s so nice.Way too nice.

“Looking forward to it.”Darcy gives him one more smile.“Well you should probably go check on your experiment and I’ve got emails.”She tries to put on a teasing tone but she has no idea if it works.“See you.”She says and then almost runs from the kitchen back to the safety of her office.She is so screwed. 

She makes it through ignoring the still gossiping lab assistants, through another angry phone conversation trying to find out what the hell is going on with the SHIELD liaison bullshit, even through Tony managing to set fire to a prototype that shuts down his workshop floor for the last three hours of the day.Darcy ends her day up in the Penthouse with him drinking scotch while they compare notes on the worst fires Tony’s managed to set over the years.Pepper shows up late with dinner and they eat on the couch as a family.By the time Darcy leaves with a warning from Pepper to be ready for hair and makeup at 4pm the following day she almost feels tired enough to sleep. 

She’s wrong. 

The nightmare is like the thousands of others she’s had since the universe introduced her to real fear almost five years ago.There’s no build up, one minute she’s trying to fall asleep and the next she’s in the middle of the action, already soaked in panic.This time she’s back in London but instead of clutching Jane’s metal-poles-of-science she’s empty handed and racing through the streets while the dark elves chase her.She can feel the heat of explosions that are far too close at her back, the scent of her own singed hair chasing her, even as the long sharp fingers of dark elves scratch at exposed skin.Sharp pain blooms over her back as she lets one get too close and she tries to speed up, running on leaden legs until her muscles hurt and her chest aches.Suddenly, she’s skidding to a halt at the edge of a roof, no elves in sight. 

Staring over the edge she sees him.This part is also familiar although the who has changed over time.This time Clint is hanging from a thin black rope off the edge of the roof and Darcy stares down at the impossible stretch of open air under his dangling feet. The ground is so very far below.He’s staring up at her, his biceps straining to hold the thin rope, his face twisted in pain and panic. Darcy’s heart starts to pound until she can hear it in her ears, the fear of him falling so visceral she can almost taste the tang of the adrenaline on the back of her tongue.There’s another blast and she lunges just in time to catch the end of the rope as it’s blown free, her whole body struggling against the weight of the archer hanging from the other end.

“Clint!” Darcy screams his name, looking around for help or a way out. The thin rope is cutting into her hands as her arms shake around the effort to maintain her grip.Clint stares up at her his mouth moving soundlessly. “Please Clint.” Darcy tries to pull at the rope but the shift just forces it to drop another few inches through her injured fingers. The smooth cord is slick with her blood and Darcy stares down into Clint’s wide pale eyes. She desperately braces herself and tries again, putting every ounce of strength she has into pulling until she’s able to wrap the rope around one forearm.The blood soaked rope cuts into the skin of her arm and she grits her teeth against the new burst of pain but Clint’s suddenly close enough to reach, only holding the rope with one arm now, stretching up towards her and Darcy reaches down to him. 

Clint’s mouth moves in another silent plea and Darcy can feel the tips of his fingers against hers when the world explodes in black around them.It’s a flurry of shrieking caws and Darcy can feel feathers and claws and beaks against every part of her body.Hundreds of birds tugging at her hair and scratching at her skin and Darcy can’t hear anything except the rustle of feathers as they swirl around her in a tornado of movement.Her body seizes in panic, her grip on the rope falling slack.She has just enough time to lock her gaze on Clint’s face as his eyes go impossibly wide, his mouth open in a silent shout as he falls beyond any help.She screams. 

Darcy wakes with a hoarse shout, her whole body jerking up and out of the bed so forcefully she lands limbs askew and then she’s retching onto the soft carpet.Her body heaves repeatedly bringing up nothing as she tries to realign reality with the dream but she can’t catch her breath.Her hands shake violently as she tries to push the hair from her sweat slicked face.It’s pure instinct that gets her up and moving on numb legs.She doesn’t think about what she’s doing she just runs, skidding through the living room and out the apartment door.She takes the stairs two at a time up one floor and she can still feel the feathers brushing against her shoulders as she comes to a stop in front of his door. 

She has no reason to think he’ll be in the tower.He has no reason to be in the tower but she bangs on the door anyways.Pounding her fist against the hard wood with so much force she can feel the shock of it all the way to her elbow.She sucks in another deep breath and her body struggles against it, her throat still tight with panic.“Please.” She whispers, slamming her shaking hand against the door again.Another shudder runs through her and her knees feel weak with the exertion of the midnight run.She needs to see him. If he’s not here she has no idea what she’s going to do.She leans heavily against the doorready to collapse in panic in the hallway when the wood gives way and she’s suddenly pressed against warm skin. 

“Darce, what the fuck?”The sound of Clint’s voice brings a sob to the surface and she presses her face into his neck stealing comfort she knows she has no right to.He gives it anyways, big arms wrap around her shaking body as he pulls her deeper into the apartment and closes the door behind them. 

“Darcy, take a deep breath for me.”He’s using his keep the civilians calm voice and her body obeys on instinct.“There’s a good girl.” He pushes her back, holding her at arms length so he can look at her, his eyes scanning her for injuries.“Are you hurt? What happened? You have to talk slow, no aids.”She appreciates that he realizes she won’t be able to sign in her current state.She’s also suddenly painfully aware of how this must look from his perspective, her showing up at his door in the middle of the night in her sleep pants and tank top, looking like a crazy person and crying. 

“Not hurt.”She gets it out between panting breaths and she can feel her heart finally starting to slow now that he’s here in front of her.“Nightmare.” She finally manages and Clint makes a soft hiss of sympathy.

“Aww, baby girl, no.”He pulls her back against his chest and Darcy takes it as permission to run her hands over him to make sure he’s all there. She can feel him breathing slow and steady in an effort to calm her and she forces herself to try matching his rhythm until her panting has evened out. 

As soon as rational thought starts to filter back in Darcy feels guilt pool in her gut.She shouldn’t be here, he didn’t want to see her, he didn’t reach out, she shouldn’t have forced herself on him like this. He’d stayed away for almost two weeks because he didn’t want to be there for her like this anymore but Darcy can’t help the way her body melts into his sleep warmed skin.It’s been two weeks of almost no sleep, variations of the nightmare from tonight a recurring event and her body has clearly had enough.On every other night she’s been able to calm herself but this was full panic. 

“I’m sorry.” She mutters the words into his neck before pulling away.She realizes her mistake the minute she sees his confused look and sighs.He can’t hear her. “I’m sorry.” She tries again, shaking hands moving in the signs but he just grabs at her fingers, stilling them.

“Not now Darce.” He pushes hair off her face, “Just come to bed and we’ll deal with it later.” He’s already pulling her deeper into the apartment as he speaks and Darcy follows on shaking legs. 

She’s never been in his tower apartment and now she knows why.There’s nothing here, just the base furniture that was provided on move in but there’s not a single sign of Clint.He pulls her into the bedroom and even in here the only sign of him are some dirty clothes on the floor and garment bag on the back of the bathroom door.He’s here because of the gala. Darcy’s feet stop short and she tugs her hand from his.She shouldn’t be here, he doesn’t deserve this. 

“Darce?” Clint is staring at her with concern on his face.His eyes track hers back over to the garment bag and his shoulders slump.“Not tonight Darce.” He’s always been so good at figuring her out.He steps forward into her space and rubs his hands up and down the chilled skin of her bare arms.“I know.” He says softly.“Trust me, I know, but it’s okay,”he pulls her a step closer to the bed, “just let me help.” He pulls her another step closer, “Let me help.” 

She goes with him, lets him pull her down on the bed, and settle her under the covers against his chest in a position that’s so familiar it hurts.She can feel him breathing steady under her and she presses her cheek against his skin until his heartbeat is pounding in her ears.The urge to tell him what happened even though he won’t be able to hear her is overwhelming. 

They’ve never talked about her nightmares, she’s told him they exist but she’s never described one.They were something that happened when he wasn’t there, she’d never had one she remembers when he’s sleeping next to her.It’s a line in the sand Darcy drew and then never crossed, her nightmares didn’t belong in the fun of her time with Clint even if he was sometimes in the terror of the dreams.Except maybe the lines should be blurred, they sure felt blurred tonight. 

So she starts to talk.She can feel him tense and then relax, she assumes he can tell she’s speaking somehow but his fingers just trail through her hair for comfort and she pours it all out into the dark of the room. She talks with a confidence born of knowing he can’t hear, about her fear and the way he died, the way he always dies, and how she has to pretend it’s only a possibility in the dreams because the real risk of him dying is too much for her to even contemplate when she’s awake.She talks until her already sore throat makes her voice hoarse and her eyes are heavy with sleep.Then she lets the world fade to black. 

Darcy wakes the next morning alone in bed.For a long moment she thinks she dreamed the entire thing, not just the nightmare but the run to Clint, the way he held her until she was finally able to fall back to sleep.The sound of a shower running penetrates her haze and Darcy blinks her eyes open to the dim room.Clint’s room. The bathroom door is closed and when her vision clears all she can see is that garment bag.

The reminder of the gala brings back all the guilt from the night before and Darcy can hear Natasha’s voice in her head once again, foolish and cruel. She shouldn’t be here.She’s meeting Ben in just a few hours and she can still see Clint’s glassy eyes as he stood in her apartment days ago as he told her he couldn’t do this, couldn’t be there anymore.She can hear Clint singing off key over the soft drumming of the shower, she pulls herself out of the bed on bare feet, and she leaves. 

~0~

“Someone needs a vacation.”Pepper’s favorite make up artist, Ricky, pulls no punches in his opinion of the bags under her eyes and Darcy hides her annoyance with a duck of her head.She doesn’t sleep anymore, that’s who she is now.

“What are you going to do with your hair Darce?” Jane asks from the next chair over. “I was thinking I’d ask them to leave mine down but I’m not sure.” Darcy watches Jane twist and hold her hair up in different mock styles against her neck.

“You should keep it down and in soft waves.” Darcy agrees, “I’d like mine up.” She meets the eyes of the stylist behind her chair and he nods.

“Agreed, but first we need to take care of these bags.”Ricky says.

“Darcy have you not been sleeping well?” Pepper breezes into the room, her hair already done but her face makeup free and Darcy gives her a shrug in the mirror.

“Just been working too much.” 

“Well then tonight will be a fun distraction,” Pepper says coming forward to touch Darcy’s shoulder, “when is Ben picking you up?”

“He’s umm, not.” Darcy says.

“Eyes closed,” Ricky demands and Darcy complies. She welcomes the dark of closed eyelids.

“He’s not?” Jane sounds confused. “Did you cancel on him?”

“No, we’re just going to meet there.We’re only going as friends.” Darcy keeps her voice light but Pepper’s hand squeezes her shoulder before she moves away.

“You’ll have a great time. Ben is very nice.”Darcy can tell Pepper is trying very hard to find a silver lining. 

“Yeah,” Darcy agrees.

“Pout your lips,” Ricky asks and Darcy feels the familiar smear of lipstick against her mouth. 

“Oh Ricky, not that color.” Pepper says, “She needs a darker red for her dress.”

It takes the better part of two hours before everyone is ready and Pepper is satisfied with the pampering they’ve all received.Darcy stares at herself for a long moment in the floor length mirror before they head down to the cars.Ricky worked a miracle because she certainly doesn’t look like she hasn’t slept, she looks fierce, with dark lips, her curls twisted up in a loose knot on the side of her neck, the lace of the dress spilling over her chest.She doesn’t look like herself.She gathers up her skirts and follows Jane out the door.

The gala is beautiful, Pep outdid herself. The dinner was delicious although it took almost endless patience to get through the small talk with Ben.Darcy couldn’t fault his effort though.He looked good in his dark suit and he was clearly attempting to get to know her.His questions were thoughtful and charming but her heart wasn’t even remotely in it. 

With the meal done, the tables cleared away, and the swing band set up on the far side of the ballroom Ben goes off to find them drinks and Darcy drifts through the crowd.She hasn’t seen Clint or any of the other Avengers but she’d avoided the red carpet by entering through the side and her table had been in the back since she was only attending as an S.I. employee. With the tables cleared though Tony finds her easily.

“Looking good Lewis.”He keeps the familiarity out of his voice against all the watching eyes.Darcy can id at least two reporters within ear shot and she gives him a smile.

“Thank you Mr. Stark.Not so bad yourself.”He does look good in his thousand dollar tux, his tie matches the pale shade of Pepper’s dress.“Is the team with you?” She can’t keep the question in.

“See for yourself.” Tony nods towards the dance floor where a spectacular looking Natasha is gliding around the dance floor with Steve Rogers.

“I thought Captain Rogers was in DC?” Darcy had listened to Clint whine about how busy SHIELD kept Steve many times over the last few weeks. 

“He came in for the event. I think Romanoff blackmailed him.”Tony gives her a wink and then turns to a man hovering to his left, “You can quote me on that Green. You can also return to the press area.” 

The man, a short blonde with watery eyes laughs.“I always assume anything you say is on the record Tony.Who’s your friend.”He gives Darcy a smile that she returns. 

“This is Darcy Lewis, the manager of our R&D floor. Darcy this is a low life gossip columnist from the Tattler.”Tony waves a hand over his shoulder and Darcy sees two of Happy’s security goons start forward, “and these nice gentlemen are the security team that will be taking you back to your press box.” 

Green holds his hands up and backs away, “No need for the muscle,” he says with a wry smile, “I’m going.” 

Darcy waits until he’s out of ear shot, “You know you’re supposed to be nicer to the press.”She tells Tony who just shrugs. 

“He’s barely press.He reports on scandals and once wrote a terrible article where he called me a man slut.”Tony is watching the dance floor.

“Well if the shoe fits.” Darcy teases.

“Your drink.”Ben is back and Darcy turns with a small smile to take the gin martini from his hand, “They didn’t have high ball glasses so you’ll just have to use the regular kind.”She feels a jolt of guilt over the fact that this sweet man remembers her drink order in all it’s weird details and she can’t bring herself to return his attentions. 

“Dr. Mathers.”Tony nods to him.

“Mr. Stark.” Ben gives Tony a smile and Darcy takes a sip of her drink.“Thank you for putting this event on for the employees.”It’s the kind of thing Tony hates to hear.It embarrasses him.

“Don’t mention it.” Tony says shortly, “Seriously, don’t.”Then he takes a slow breath, “Enjoy yourselves, I think I need to go rescue Pepper from the mayor,” and he’s gone. 

“Would you like to dance?” Ben asks and his voice is so hopeful there’s nothing to do but say yes. 

They dance to two songs and then Thor cuts in to take Darcy for a spin around the floor before she and Jane both beg off to find a table to rest their feet.Ben offers to go get fresh drinks and Darcy is following Jane to the table when the astrophysicist spots a member of the Nobel committee and makes a beeline for his table.Darcy considers trying to pry Jane away from the poor man but has just given it up as a lost cause when a hand clamps tight around her upper arm.

“It’s me.” Clint’s voice cuts off her yelp of surprise and then he’s dragging her bodily through the crowd, carefully stepping around people and smiling politely until they’re through a door at the back of the ballroom and alone in a service hallway.Her back ends up against the wall and she finds herself looking at a very angry Clint Barton.“You left.”

“You left first.” The comeback is automatic and she watches his face twist up in annoyance. 

“Jesus Darce,” he pushes away from her tugging at his hair, “what the fuck?” He turns back to her and his eyes scan her face before trailing down her body, lingering on her chest and hips.He steps back in close until he’s pressed up against her entire front and Darcy can hear her heartbeat in her ears.She wants him to do something, kiss her or fuck her, anything to release the tension of the moment.

“What the fuck are we doing Darcy?” His voice is hoarse and he pushes his forehead against hers, a hand sliding up to tangle in her hair messing up all of Ricky’s hard work.“You destroy me, you know that?” He certainly sounds destroyed. 

“I’m sorry.”She has no idea what else to say.She never meant to hurt him like this this. Every step to this moment made sense at the time but now she doesn’t know how they got here.He pulls away so he can see her whole face and she wonders what he sees that makes his breath catch like that, his forehead scrunching up in an emotion she won’t name.Her own breathing picks up in response. 

“Fuck,” his fingers tighten in her hair, “I love you.” He looks almost as surprised as her by the declaration but before Darcy has a chance to open her mouth and reply his lips are on hers. Pressing into her with a roughness that takes everything in her to match.His tongue pushes past her lips and his fingers slide out of her hair to wrap around the back of her neck, holding her still, claiming her.

He breaks away with a low groan and starts to press his mouth down the column of her throat, his lips moving as he whispers against her skin over and over.“Love you Darce.Love you so much.Can’t help it, I tried. I promise you I tried not to but I can’t not.”It’s the words more than the soft heat of his mouth that have her panting desperately against him, her hands clutching at his waist and shoulder, her eyes squeezed shut. 

“Clint,” she pants out his name and he lets out a little noise at the sound, something that makes her body feel tight.“Clint.” She repeats it and her brain is struggling through the feeling filling her chest, trying to get the words out to match his when there’s a shout and she’s suddenly alone against the wall.Her eyes snap open just in time to see Tony land a wicked hit against Clint’s cheek that sends the archer stumbling but doesn’t put him on the ground. 

“Fuck, dad, no!” Darcy shouts the words on instinct, stepping between Tony and the recovering Clint only to find herself pulled bodily to the side and forward until she’s behind Tony facing Clint. 

“What the hell Barton.” Tony is breathing hard and he’s keeping a wide stance to prevent Darcy from moving around him.

“Tony.”Darcy pushes at his shoulder trying to move around her father and back to Clint who is already sporting a blooming bruise high on one cheek.Clint meets her eyes for a moment and then spits blood on to the floor.“Dad, move.”Darcy tries to step around Tony again but floor length skirts are not made for this. 

“Yeah Tony, move.” Clint has a dangerous glint in his eyes and he keeps glancing from Darcy to Tony, his body loose and ready to strike.

“Don’t talk to me.” Tony snaps.“What do you think you’re doing huh? Member of the team, playing nice and then dragging my daughter into hallways to molest her?” Darcy’s brain short circuits. 

“Molest me?”

“Jesus Christ!”

She and Clint speak at the same time and Darcy has had enough.“He’s not molesting me, at least not without permission.”This new information seems to take some wind out of Tony’s sails and Darcy manages to dart around him to get between the two men. “We’re together.”She finally says looking at Tony and then sparing a quick glance for Clint, “At least we were?”

“Are.” Clint mutters from behind her.

“Were?” Tony gives Darcy a searching look, ignoring Clint, and she sees the moment he connects the dots.Piecing together the last two weeks of moping and tired eyes. “Is he the reason you’ve been looking like you haven’t slept in years?”Tony’s voice is pure venom and Darcy groans.

“No.” She says at the same time as Clint says, “That would be you Stark.” 

“Excuse me?” Tony’s body shifts back into a fighting stance and Darcy groans again.

“She has nigh—“ Clint starts.

“This is not the time or the place for this.” Darcy interrupts him with a snap.

“No no.” Tony says and his voice is rising in pitch, “What does that mean?What does he mean that would be me?”

“Nothing.” Darcy says sharply giving Clint a warning glance and the archer holds up his hands in surrender.“Nothing, come on Tony.Let’s all go and I’ll explain everything.” 

“You’ll explain how he’s been carrying on with you behind my back?” Tony is clearly working himself up into a full blown tantrum.“Can you explain why he doesn’t look surprised that you called me dad?”

“He doesn’t look surprised because he knows.” Darcy snaps. “But now is not the time,” she looks up and down the hallway but it’s dim with multiple doors, “or the place.” 

“He knows?” Tony steps towards her and Darcy takes a step back, closer to Clint.She can feel her frustration with the situation starting to morph into anger with Tony.“After all the effort we went through to protect you, you’re out telling every idiot soldier who gets in your bed for a one night stand who you are?”

Something in Darcy snaps.All the anger with Tony’s selfishness and bullshit over the last few years, everything she’d pushed down and made excuses not to address since she moved to New York just bubbles over. 

“Even if I did what right do you have to talk to me about it like that! Spewing bullshit about protecting me while you’re out being Iron Man and threatening terrorists with no thought for your own safety! You don’t care about me not as much as you care about being the fucking hero.”She’s gasping for breath and she can see Tony’s face flashing between anger and hurt. 

“Of course I care about you.I love you.”It’s the second time she’s heard those words in this hallway and both the men who said them have a history of throwing themselves in front of danger.At least one has the decency not to lie to her about it.She can feel panic clawing at her throat.

“Then why can’t you keep your promises!” She shrieks the words and feels vindicated by the wince on Tony’s face.“You promised you’d be safe.You promised you’d keep it quiet.You promised and when you broke it you couldn’t even apologize.Four years Tony! Four years and you can’t fucking admit that you were wrong and apologize.Tell me you’re sorry for the worry and the nightmares, and all the bullshit I have had to struggle through on the sidelines while you get off on being Iron Man.”The last bit comes out on a sob and she feels a warm arm come around her from behind.

“Shhh Darce.” Clint’s voice is against her ear and she sags against his arm, letting it take most of her weight.“You’re okay, it’s okay.” 

“Darcy, kiddo?”Tony looks wrecked and Darcy turns away from his outstretched hand.“I was just trying to keep the world safe for you.” 

“I didn’t want that.” Darcy hisses, “I wanted my father.” 

“Say cheese!” The voice comes from the other end of the hall and Tony spins on his heel just in time for the bright flash of a camera to blind them before the sound of running feet pounds away.

“Fuck!” Tony sounds furious, “Get her home Barton.” Tony snaps and then he’s jogging down the hall away from them. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone for reading, commenting, the kudos, subscribing, general good vibes! I’m having so much fun posting this for you all! 
> 
> Big drama in this update — if you liked it or if you didn’t I’d love to hear from you. 
> 
> Until next time!


	11. Clint Interlude 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint’s perspective on the immediate aftermath of the gala.

Clint cannot believe all the ways today has gone sideways.The last few weeks really.God, he’s an idiot.They both are. 

He has to practically carry Darcy through the door and even once they’re in her apartment he’s not sure she’ll be able to stand based on the way she’s trembling against his chest. It doesn’t matter how frustrated he is with Tony, or with Darcy really — he’s going to do this.He looks down at the woman in question taking in her mascara stained face and the blank look in her eyes and heads for the bedroom. 

She doesn’t fight him as he leads her in and spins her around so he can get at the zipper on the dress.The dark lace down her back parts easily and Clint slides his hands under the fabric to peel the silk away from her skin.The dress puddles on the floor and Clint kicks it away.She’d looked beautiful tonight, not much like his usual soft girl but beautiful all the same. Now, standing in her bedroom in black satin underwear with tears still streaming down her face she just looks broken. 

“Come on baby girl,” Clint makes quick work of her bra and slides a thick arm around her waist to double walk with her into the bathroom.She leans against the counter while he turns on the shower and waits for it to warm up. 

“I’m sorry he hit you.” Her voice is soft and her eyes don’t focus.Clint’s already cracked heart breaks just a little bit more.

“Won’t be the last time.” Clint says quietly, his eyes focused on the path of her still shaking hand, up and through her messy curls.He watches her eyebrows scrunch up as her fingers get caught on the pins still tucked in place.“Stop, stop.” He steps forward and untangles her hand to carefully start pulling pins out one by one. 

“Everything is such a mess.” She says quietly and Clint cups her cheek in one hand.

“It’s going to be okay.” He has no idea if it’s true but he doesn’t have the heart to say anything else. “Let’s get you cleaned up and in comfy clothes.” 

He ends up in the shower with her.It’s the least erotic group shower Clint’s ever taken.Darcy starts crying again while he’s trying to get the makeup off her face and bless Natasha for teaching him the difference between shampoo and face wash.He doesn’t even try to wash her hair, just holds her against his chest and lets the hot water beat down on them until she’s sobbed herself out.

He makes tea while she gets pajamas on and also takes the opportunity to shoot Nat a 911 text with a quick explanation.He doubts there’s anything to be done to prevent the picture from going to press but it doesn’t hurt to try.He knows he’s going to get a beat down for not telling Nat about Darcy and Tony, might as well double down. 

Clint leans heavily against the counter and takes a deep breath.He knows, _he knows_ this needs to come first.This is going to be big, it’s going to be public, it’s going to change Darcy’s life forever. He knows that.Still, he finally said those words to her.The words he’s spent months biting back and he said them to her in a service hallway as part of a desperate attempt to keep her.He runs a hand through his damp hair.He has to get through this first, then that. 

Darcy emerges from the bedroom just as the tea is done and Clint pushes the mug into her hands and joins her on the couch.There’s no hesitation from either of them as she climbs into his lap and curls up against him.Clint rubs her back, whispers quiet reassurances into her hair, and presses kisses into her forehead.Then when she starts to cry again he does it all over again. 

Darcy’s just starting to drift off against him, her fingers twisted in his t-shirt in the way that always makes his chest ache when Jarvis chimes an alert.

“Pardon me Mr. Barton but Sir is requesting permission to enter.”Jarvis sounds like his usual toneless self but Clint can feel the judgment.

Clint looks down at Darcy and she gives a small nod. “Let him in Jarvis.” Clint agrees. 

“Kiddo look I tried to catch Green but apparently you can’t restrain members of the press without violating some kind of very big deal federal laws.Pepper has our lawyers all over it but his paper is refusing to play ball.I’m going to—“ Tony trails off as he finally makes it all the way into apartment and catches sight of Darcy still curled up on Clint’s lap.“You were supposed to get her home Barton not stay.” 

“Not sure how it’s your business.” Clint snaps back.He regrets it immediately but he’s still a little hot about how things went down in the that hallway.

“It’s entirely my business.She’s my daughter.” Tony says stepping further into the room.“Darce, kiddo. I can’t stop them from printing it but I’ll figure out how to fix it.”

Darcy shifts away from him and Clint lets her go.For a moment he thinks she’s going to reach out and hug Tony but instead just gets up, walks past Tony into the bedroom, and closes the door. 

“Darcy.” Tony trails over the closed door and Clint feels bad for the guy, watching Tony drop his forehead onto the wooden surface. “Kiddo please.”There’s no response and Tony turns back around to face him, Clint opens his mouth to offer some kind of reassurance but Tony shakes his head, “Don’t talk to me.” He growls and storms from the apartment. 

“Fuck.” Clint mutters to himself.There’s a moment where he considers just storming out as well but he can’t bring himself to leave Darcy. So he pushes himself up and pads quietly into her bedroom.The lights are out and he can just make out her dark curls against the pale bedding.

He can tell she’s not asleep.He has no idea what the procedure is in this kind of situation, he has no idea if there is a procedure for this. He decides to risk it and climbs onto the bed over the covers curling up on his side to face Darcy until she opens her eyes to blink at him.“You going to be okay baby girl?”

“I just want to sleep.” Her voice is still thick with tears and Clint presses his forehead to hers.

“You looked beautiful tonight.”He says softly and he feels reassured by the way her eyes go dark on the praise.

“Thank you.” She whispers.

“What can I do for you darlin’?” He can’t help but tangle his fingers in her hair as he asks.He just wants to touch her all the time. 

“Nothing. I just want to sleep.”Her voice is flat but she trails her fingers down his face and his eyes close against his will at the contact. “You don’t have to stay.”

That hurts.He takes a deep breath because he knows what she means is she doesn’t want him to stay.He knows his girl, she likes to lick her wounds in private.He gets that.If he hadn’t whispered love into her skin mere hours ago he might push harder to stay but he did so he doesn’t. “I’ll go,” he finally says.

“Clint?” Her voice is very small.

“Yeah?” He scratches at her scalp again and she closes her eyes, taking a slow breath in and out. Clint instantly recognizes the circular breathing he’d taught her for anxiety.

“Don’t go far?” Her fingers twist up in his shirt again, she opens her eyes to lock a wet blue gaze on his. “Please,” she takes another breath, “I know I don’t have any right to ask but please.”

“Oh baby,” he closes his eyes against the ache, “you have the right to ask. I’ll stay in the tower and you call me if you need anything.” His fingers tighten around the back of her neck and she nods.He wants to tell her he loves her again.He wants to whisper it against her lips and press it into her throat.Instead he kisses her once, a rough press of his lips against hers, climbs off the bed, and gathering up the abandoned pieces of his tux he leaves.

Nat finds him three hours later, he’s been firing arrows down the long sniper range trying to take his mind off everything.Nat’s hair is still twisted up into the complicated style she’d worn to the gala but she’s changed into yoga pants and a loose sweater.It’s the first sign that she has bad news. She’s trying to look non-threatening.

“It’ll run in the paper tomorrow.” She says and Clint looses the arrow he has nocked, waiting until it sinks into the bullseye before slamming the bow down on the counter in front of him.“You won’t be a part of the story.” Nat adds and he turns to give her a dirty look.

“It’s going to wreck her.” He says turning to lean petulantly against the counter heedless of his bow.

“She’s stronger than you think.” Nat chides and Clint runs a hand through his hair.

“I fucked up tonight.” He admits and looks up at Nat through his lashes. “Tony caught us in the hall at a bad moment.”

“A bad moment?” Nat asks with a meaningful look at his bruised cheek and Clint can tell she’s going to make him admit it.

“I told her I love her.” He grinds out.

“And she said?” Nat leans against the counter next to him.

“I’m sure you know what she said.” He snaps. “Jesus Nat you’ve been warning me about it for months.Not to push her, that she’s not... that I need to... you know what she said or didn’t.” He finishes softer.

“I was never warning you off loving her Clint.I was trying to protect you from getting hurt.” Nat’s voice is uncharacteristically soft. “Darcy is,” Nat searches for the word, “young.”

Clint snorts, “Thanks Nat. That’s very helpful.”

“You know what I mean. It’s not that she doesn’t return your feelings, it’s that she has no idea how to return your feelings. Not really, not with everything that comes along with loving one of us.” Nat bumps her shoulder against his and it’s the closest he’ll get to a hug right now from his favorite Russian.

“She’s going to break up with me Nat. Or, I mean can you even break up with someone you refuse to call your boyfriend?” He can’t help how morose he’s being. 

“She’s not going to break up with you.”

“She went on a date with another man.”

Nat makes a face at that, “You told me that was an agreed upon misdirection,” Nat pauses to look at him with put upon indignation, an eyebrow raised in mockery, “or are you telling me that wasn’t a piece of brilliant pre-planned espionage?”

“You know it wasn’t.” He huffs out and Nat rolls her eyes.

“You’re an idiot. She doesn’t like the other man.She panicked and she’s also an idiot so here we are.”Nat lets out a big sigh and leans against him again. “She will mope and then she will want you to come and make her feel better.”

“But how do you know?” Clint whines and he can tell Nat is keeping score on his petulance for later.

“Because this is what you two do.One of you does athoughtless thing, the other mopes, then you turn to each other for comfort, and you remember why you work so well together. It is childish but it works.” Nat scratches absently at her fancy hair, “Remember after New York? She called me a few times when you left sure you were not coming back.”

“Really?” That’s news to Clint.They don’t talk about the month he spent recovering with Darcy in New Mexico often.She’d stitched him back together one fucked up piece at a time. “Were you this rude to her too?”

Nat lets out an indignant huff, “I am only this rude to you. You know that. I just told her of course you were coming back.” Clint lets the new info settle over him for a long moment. 

“What if she likes him Nat? I can’t stack up against a PhD.I’m an ex-carnie with a GED and a lot of baggage.” It’s all his insecurities bubbling up at once and Clint is rewarded for the vulnerable question by a another dramatic eye roll from his supposed partner and best friend.

“She is aware of your baggage yes? And your lack of PhD?” Nat is clearly annoyed.

“Yes.” Clint breathes out, “Most of it, the important parts.”

“Bobbi?” Nat asks and Clint rolls his eyes with a nod. “And Barney?” She adds. “That mission last year I told you it wasn’t worth it?” Nat can’t help herself when there’s a chance to prove she was right, even over a year later.

“Yes, yes, and yes. Although that last one was on orders and I only kissed the mark after we couldn’t get the intel any other way, not to mention it saved like a billion lives.”

“Three hundred at most.” The redhead snipes, “It was the right play of course but it can’t have been fun to explain and you insisted on being honest. Either way, Darcy still picked you? Yes? She has stayed?” 

“Well she’s kept letting me touch her at least.” He admits. Sometimes he really wonders why.

“We both know it’s more than that, no matter what gets said out loud.” Nat huffs in frustration and Clint can tell her patience with his moping is officially over, “I am not saying I’m happy with her or her choices but she’s not going to break up with you.”

“What do we do about Tony?”

“Well first we go handle the fact that you didn’t tell me and then we do what we do best, control the message.” Nat’s tone leaves no doubt that he will regret keeping Darcy’s paternity a secret.

“Wasn’t my secret to tell?” He tries and Nat just shakes her head.

“Nothing will save you from this.” She says with a wicked smile and he sighs. 

“How long do you think it’ll take before she wants me to come make her feel better?”He can still feel second thoughts creeping in regardless of Nat’s matter of fact reassurance.

“If it takes longer than two days I will personally step in.” 

“Oh, well if you’re going to personally do it.” He teases, turning to start packing up his bow. 

“You want your beating now or later?” Nat asks with way too much of that dangerous Black Widow smile in her voice.

“Now. Couldn’t sleep anyways although why you assume I’ll end up beat is a mystery.I’ve won before.” He spares a glance for the arrows at the other end of the range and then turns away without picking them up.

Nat snorts, “Yes, I remember that _one time_ you won.”

“Was way more than once.” He tries.

“Uh huh.” Nat is already headed for the door and Clint starts to follow. 

“If Tony takes away my apartment can I stay with you?”

“You have two apartments in this city and Tony only owns one. Why would you need to stay with me?” Nat holds the door open for him.

“I like to have a back up plan.” Clint says.

“You’re an idiot.”

“You’re the one that taught me to have a backup plan!”

“Not sure what that has to do with anything.”

“Of course not Natalia.”

“Start stretching Clinton. I’m still mad at you.”

“Yes dear.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, the kudos, comments, and subscribes. You guys are amazing. 
> 
> I hope you like this chapter. I actually really enjoyed writing this one despite all the conflict in it. If you did like it, or if you didn’t I’d love to hear from you! 
> 
> ❤️


	12. Outed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy’s paternity hits the news, she spends some time adjusting to her new reality, and finally digs into the mystery of Dr. White’s classified project at work.

_**Tattler Breaking News: Stark Secret Love Child Revealed** _

_**It’s a Girl: Who is Darcy Lewis (a.k.a Baby Stark)** _

_**Ex-Nanny Speaks Out About Raising Tony Stark’s Secret Daughter** _

_**Exclusive Baby Photos of Tony Stark’s Hidden Daughter** _

_**Does Darcy Lewis Deserve her Job? How Nepotism is Alive and Well at S.I. New York** _

It didn’t take long.James Green is an efficient motherfucker and his paper, The Tattler, published his story and the picture he caught in that hallway bright and early Sunday morning.By the Monday morning news shows the story was picked up by every major news outlet and then side stories started to show up.It only took another 24 hours before an ex-nanny appeared, then Darcy’s old college roommates had things to say, her professors, “friends”.She woke up Tuesday to the headline about nepotism at her job and just went back to bed. 

She knows she’s hiding and she knows it’s not healthy but she doesn’t know what else to do.She snakes an arm out of the thick down comforter, reaching blindly for the phone on her nightstand.It’s mostly a useless glass rectangle now, she’s had Jarvis turn off all communication features.The internet still works though and she uses it to pull up Google and type in her name. 

The results load and she clicks to open the picture again.The one that started it all.Even though she hates James Green she gives mad props to his photography skills.The contents of his article revealed that he’d been lurking in the hallway for a while before he chose his moment and he chose well.At least he hadn’t printed the part about her and Clint.The last she thing she needs to is to add “fucking an Avenger” to her new public resume.Even so, the picture is dramatic.Tony captured mid spin, looking surprised and emotional, Darcy just in focus over Tony’s shoulder.Her body being supported by Clint, her face wet with tears.Clint looks furious. 

Clint is still furious.Furious and hurt and confused and in love with her.So in love with her apparently he was willing to let their unfinished business take a back seat all of this bullshit with Tony.He’d brought her back to her apartment the night of the gala, almost carrying her through the door.He’d gotten her out of her dress, cleaned her up, made her tea, and let her cry on him.He’d done it all without bringing up what he’d said to her just before Tony showed up.Darcy is eternally grateful. 

She clicks back from the photo and scans the headlines again.Darcy Lewis is now publicly Tony Stark’s love child.She supposes she should be thankful for the almost 25 years where she got to have her own identity.She hasn’t talked to anyone in days. 

Not since Tony showed up in the early hours of Sunday morning with the news that he was unable to buy the photo or stop the presses.He’d tried to talk to her again and she’d just walked into her bedroom and locked the door.She waited until she heard him leave and then she’d asked Clint to go too.He’d looked hurt but at this point he could add it to her tab. He’d left and Darcy locked her door, shut off her phone, and hid.She’s going to have to leave today though, or at least allow someone in to deliver groceries.Otherwise it’s going to get desperate. 

“Jarvis?” She calls from under the covers.

“Yes Darcy.” The AI responds.

“How many missed messages do I have?”

“There are 3,483 unread messages on your phone.” Jarvis replies, “I have been blocking all alerts as you requested.” 

Darcy lets out a slow breath.“How many from Jane?” She asks.

“143 message are from Dr. Jane Foster.” Jarvis says and Darcy huffs out a laugh. 

“Respectable.I expect nothing else from Janie. Can you tell her I’m okay and I’ll be up to talk later today?”

“Of course Darcy.” There’s a pause and then, “Might I suggest sending a similar message to Ms. Potts, Darcy? She has been very concerned.”If an AI could sound disappointed he would. 

“Yes.” Darcy agrees.“What about some food J-man?I seem to have eaten the last of my cereal.”

“Ms. Romanoff says your eggs will be ready soon.” Jarvis responds.

“What!?” Darcy sits straight up in the bed. “What do you mean Ms. Romanoff says my eggs will be ready soon. Where is Natasha?”

“Ms. Romanoff is in your kitchen.” Jarvis delivers this piece of news with the same urgency as the weather report.

“How exactly,” Darcy starts already pulling herself out of bed to find pants, “did Ms. Romanoff get into my kitchen?” 

There’s a long pause and then, “I’m afraid I can’t say.” Jarvis responds and Darcy yanks a shirt over her head. 

“Well isn’t that just fucking typical. God damn spies breaking into things and hacking computers. Fuck.” Darcy runs a hand through her hair and storms across the bedroom to tear open the door. “Did you hack my AI and break into my house to make me eggs?”

The red head in her kitchen doesn’t even bother to look ashamed.“Good afternoon Darcy.”Natasha gives her a smile that doesn’t reach her eyes, “You look lovely.”

“Cut the shit Nat.” Darcy throws herself into one of the barstools.She can’t remove the spy from her kitchen and Natasha clearly has an agenda so she figures she might as well settle in for the duration.“Those eggs better have cheese in them.” 

“I remember.” Natasha puts a plate of fluffy cheese laden eggs in front of her and Darcy digs in.They are fabulous, as usual. 

“Is he okay?” It’s the only reason Darcy can think for Natasha to break in like this.She knows she hasn’t done right by Clint in any of her recent choices but at least in this last one she feels a little justified in needing time to herself.Still, if he needs her she’ll go. 

“Who?” The red head asks, leaning over the kitchen island to snag a bite of eggs off Darcy’s plate.

“Clint,” Darcy says it like it should be obvious and Nat gives her a searching look. 

“Clint is worried about you but not why I’m here.”

That pulls Darcy up short and she stares at the Black Widow expectantly.“Here to kill me for SHIELD then big sister?Fury decided he can’t have two Starks running around?”It’s a relatively low blow all things considered but Natasha takes it without a change in expression.

“No, младшая сестра, not here to kill you.”Nat’s voice is soft on the old nickname and Darcy looks away. “I’m here to make sure you’re okay.”

“Well I’m not.” Darcy drops her fork with a clatter, “How could I be?I’m apparently Tony Stark’s elicit secret love child, undeserving of privacy or as of this morning, my job.”

“Everyone who matters knows you are more than Tony Stark’s child and that you deserve your job.”Natasha states it like Darcy is an idiot to think otherwise.“What do you want?” She asks.

“I want to go back to before I moved to New York.Things were simpler.”The answer falls out of Darcy’s mouth almost without permission.

“And if that is not possible? What do you want moving forward?”Nat is patient while Darcy thinks.

“I want space to figure out what I want and I want to sleep through the night.”She finally says and Natasha nods.

“Good. That we can do.”The red head straightens up,“Pepper gave you the rest of today and tomorrow off work and Clint will be here at 9pm to make sure you sleep.”

Darcy stares at Natasha open mouthed, “What makes you think I don’t need space from Clint too?” She finally asks.

“Do you?” Natasha asks.

“I don’t know.” Darcy admits softly. “It’s more he should probably need space from me.” 

“Well I don’t either but I do know I brought him to you after Loki because I knew you’d help bring him back to me.I assume after two years that effect goes both ways.” Natasha pauses as though considering her words before she continues, “You two didn’t need to say I love you then to make it work so you don’t have to have it figured out now.He’s never going to ask you for more than you’re able to give even if that’s not what he deserves.” 

“I don’t want him to martyr himself for me Nat.”Darcy says harshly, “I’ve never wanted that.”

“I know младшая сестра, it’s just who he is.” Natasha smiles fondly, “No matter how annoying it is sometimes. Now,” she slaps her hands on the counter, “Jane and Pepper have been in the hallway with booze and there were hopes that you wanted to get drunk and be pissed off, yes?”

“No talking about boys or work or the press?” Darcy asks.

“Pinkie swear.” Natasha agrees, holding out her littlest finger for Darcy.

“Okay.” Darcy hooks their fingers and nods. 

It ends up being what she needs.They put on terrible action movies and take shots every time Nat complains about the inaccurate violence.Pepper paints her toenails and Darcy braids Jane’s hair.There is gossip and despite the pinky swear Darcy is one to bring up the press after her 6th shot of the afternoon.

Disparaging all of the terrible headlines leads to reading the outrageous comments on the articles.They start taking shots anytime the commenters call Tony a man whore but it escalates too quickly and they have to scale back.By 5pm Darcy can’t feel her nose and Nat forces her to eat a peanut butter sandwich. 

“I don’t understand why they care so much?” Jane muses from her position sprawled over the arm chair.“I mean why do millions of strangers care who your father is?” 

“Who knows. Who cares.” Darcy is sitting on the floor using the coffee table to paint her nails dark blue. 

“People have a fascination with lifestyles they don’t have. Tony lives extravagantly and is a super hero anything to do with him is news despite my best efforts.”Pepper pipes up and Darcy rolls her eyes.

“And the PR expert for the win.” She quips and then dodges Pep’s playful slap.

“I can still ground you,” Pepper says with false menace, “I think.”

“I just don’t understand how they figured it out so quickly either.” Jane says, shifting in her perch, “I mean they had it confirmed within hours.”

“I am also curious.” Natasha says, “However it was hidden was clever enough that I was unaware until it was in the press.Did Clint know?” The ‘and not tell me’ remains unspoken. 

“Yep,” Darcy says inspecting the second coat of nail polish on her left thumb carefully, “Clint helped me hide it from SHIELD after the destroyer.” Darcy cuts her eyes to see Natasha squinting into the distance as though trying to make that sit right with her or maybe she’s just drunk.The half full bottle of vodka leaning against her leg on the couch had been new when she arrived. 

“It was pretty genius really.” Darcy starts again, “Tony was listed on my birth certificate from day one but with the different last names and me being mostly inconsequential who would bother to look me up.I think Tony did some fancy legwork to keep himself off of any digital copies or school records but all anyone would need to do to confirm it is get a printed copy of the original birth certificate from the country in Virginia.They’d have to go there in person though. Obviously there was also a lot of NDAs and not being seen in public to help out.”

“So he hid you in plain sight?” Jane asks, “That is simple, although it obviously leaves some secrecy to be desired.” 

“Eh, if we hadn’t been yelling about it in a public hallway...” Darcy trails off with a shrug.The alcohol coursing through her system has made her feel very relaxed about the whole thing. 

“Coulson must have removed it for Clint.” Natasha says quietly. 

“I never asked,” Darcy admits, “I just asked Clint to help and he did.” 

“Do you think you have half siblings out there somewhere?” Jane asks and there’s a splutter as the usually graceful Pepper Potts spits her martini across the room.

“Jesus Jane!” Darcy exclaims and then collapses into giggles, “Can you imagine? A whole mess of us. Tony’d be a disaster.”Jane starts to giggle as well and Darcy leans over until her head is pressed into Jane’s thigh.“Janie you’re drunk.” 

“No you are.”

“You both are.”

Natasha is true to her word, regardless of how empty her vodka bottle is, and she manages to get Pepper and Jane out of the apartment before nine.Darcy is curled up on the couch drinking a glass of water and thinking about how numb her nose still is when Clint lets himself in.

God he looks good.Darcy isn’t sure if it’s the metric fuck ton of liquor in her veins or the fact that she hasn’t gotten laid in two weeks but the sight of him almost makes her mouth water.His hair is standing up in wet messy spikes, a sure sign that he’s come straight from a shower at the gym, he’s wearing dark jeans with a hole in one knee and his favorite purple hoodie over a black tshirt. 

“How you doing Darcy-girl?” Clint gives her a bright smile, “You hungry?” He holds up a takeout bag from one of her favorite places.

“My nose is numb. Is it still there?.”

“Okay,” He says through a laugh, “well it’s definitely still present and still cute.”

“Nat says you’re here to put me to bed.” Darcy wants to bite him right where his jaw becomes neck.

He laughs again, “I don’t think you meant to say that last part out loud Darce.”He jumps over the back of the couch as he speaks and lands next to her with a bounce.

“Which part?The part about biting you?”She leans her whole weight into his side, “No, I did not.”She can feel his laugh through her entire body.

“How about we do this,” He leans forward to start unpacking boxes of Thai food onto the coffee table, “you eat some of this dinner I brought you, then you’ll take a nice shower, and we’ll go to bed.” 

“Okay.”It sounds perfect. 

“Okay,” he agrees.“Here, I got extra spring rolls.” 

For all that he ordered her favorites Darcy doesn’t have much of an appetite. She’s not sure if it’s the alcohol or her nerves but she only manages two spring rolls and a few bites Pad Thai before she taps out and lays her head down in his lap.Clint voices no complaints, just keeps up a steady stream of chatter about what he’s been doing the last few days while trailing lazy fingers through her hair.

Darcy doesn’t remember falling asleep but she does remember Clint carrying her to bed.She remembers the feeling of his hands gently stripping her clothes until she’s in her panties and a tank top.She remembers him whispering to her softly before pulling her against his chest and holding her tight and warm until his breathing lulls her back to sleep.She doesn’t dream. 

He’s there the next morning when she wakes up and he nurses her through her hangover.He is a literal saint.Darcy tells him so multiple times while he’s holding back her hair over the toilet until he finally suggests that maybe she shouldn’t try to talk while throwing up.It’s a good suggestion.When he leaves so she can take a shower she forces herself to think about all the things they’ve left unsaid.

It’s what prompts her to declare, “We should talk.” As soon as she leaves the bedroom.Clint has his back to the living room, standing at the stove, and she watches his shoulders tense before he carefully sets the spatula down and turns around. 

“We don’t have to.” He says but he sounds resigned.

“What do you mean we don’t have to?” Darcy asks thoroughly confused, he should want to talk about this. Right?

“I just,” Clint leans forward over the kitchen island before looking back up at her, “we can not talk and go back to the way things were.You could not break up with me and we can just pretend none of it happened.The us things I mean. Obviously the other stuff would be harder to ignore what with all the newspapers.”He trails off and a nervous laugh bursts from Darcy’s throat.

“You think I’m going to break up with you?” She asks moving across the room and then stalling at arms length unsure of what to do.

“I mean,” his voice goes up on the word, “can you break up with a romantic emotional support human?”His mouth twists into a pained grimace on the phrase.

“I don’t know.” Darcys says slowly, “I thought maybe you’d already broken up with me,” she admits, “I was going to apologize anyways.I am going to apologize.”She runs a hand through her messy curls and steps closer to hoist herself up onto the counter.

“I — what? No, I just needed some space.I didn’t... I don’t think I could break up with you at this point. You don’t have to apologize Darce.Things are —“ he searches for a word, “intense for you right now. You don’t owe me anything.” 

“I can’t really demand Tony apologize to me for being an unthinking asshole and not do the same.”She shoots back and Clint rolls his eyes.Reaching out she grips his face in both hands so he’s forced to look at her, “I’m sorry I hurt you.” She says, “I made you feel less important to me than you are. I shouldn’t have done that because you are very very important to me.” She pauses for a long moment. “I’m also sorry I’m not ready right now to deal with the rest of it. We will though, because it’s important to me too. Just please, wait for me? A little while longer.”

Clint looks down, then back up at her and there’s a new intensity in his eyes. “I have to ask, do you like him?”Darcy’s brain scrambles to catch up and when she realizes he’s talking about Ben her eyes go wide.

“No no. NO.” Darcy’s fingers tighten on his face in emphasis. “It was never like that.Never.It’s only you. Only ever you.” She tries to force all the things she’s not able to say onto her face, silently begging him to understand.

Clint nods, “We can deal with the rest of it later then.” He agrees, “You wanna stay in bed all day and watch Dog Cops?”

“Fuck yeah I do.”

Darcy is well aware that she is on borrowed time.She knows that sooner or later she’s going to have to deal with the fact that the press knows who she is, that she and Tony still haven’t talked since the gala, that Clint told her he loved her and she said nothing in response.She’s an adult who has been to at least one therapy appointment, she knows what avoidance is and is self aware enough to know that she’s doing it.She knows that all those neat boxes in her mind she relies on to keep the fear at bay need to be opened and dealt with.Nothing about that changes her behavior.

It really does feel like a day of out of time.She naps on and off against Clint’s chest until she’s hungry and then they move to the couch to eat left over take out and chips while watching bad daytime TV.Clint flirts with her and she flirts back.By the time the daylight is fading Darcy’s stomach hurts from laughing so much, she’s managed to forget for a few hours that she’s a media sensation, and she’s content in a way she hasn’t been in weeks. 

The next morning Clint watches her get ready to return to work, teasing her about putting on “girl armor” as she steps into a garter belt and then picks up a longline corset bra.He steps up into her personal space to take over lacing the front with his calloused fingers, carefully tugging until the cool satin is snug around her chest. 

“Let me just...” He dips his big hands down her front cupping first one breast and then other to settle them properly in the bra cups, his fingers brushing at her nipples as he goes.“There you go.” He runs his hands down her ribs as he steps back with a leer. 

“So helpful.”She says her voice thick with sarcasm before moving away to pull on thigh highs and clip them into the straps on the garter belt.

“I’m not the one putting on lingerie to go to work.”He quips back, his eyes tracking every movement of her fingers against her thighs. 

“I thought you’d be used to it after working with Nat for so long.” Darcy says as she finishes with the stockings and steps into her pencil skirt, turning to let him zip it over her hips. 

“I don’t want to bend Nat over the end of the bed right now.”Clint says hotly into her ear, his hands heavy on her hips.

“As reassuring as that is, I’m going to need you to put a pin in it.I can’t be late, not today.”Darcy picks up her blouse from the foot of the bed, waiting for him to step back so she can shrug it on.

“You sure?” Clint’s voice is a rasp, “Because all I can think about right now is making a mess of you.Bending you over, pulling this skirt up, and pushing into you until you can’t do anything but scream my name.”Darcy’s almost immediately wet and her knees feel weak.

“I can’t be late.” She repeats, more for herself than Clint. “They’re all going to be talking already, I can’t give them more ammunition.”

“Let them talk.” Clint says as he slides hands up her front but he doesn’t take it any farther.Reaching instead for the shirt in her hands and shaking it out before helping her slide it on.“Raincheck though. Tonight?” He asks.

“You got a deal hot shot.” She agrees leaning back into his chest while she does up the buttons.

“I’ll go make coffee.” He says before pressing a kiss to her temple and leaving her to finish alone. 

She finishes getting ready quickly, or as quickly as she can while still half aroused.Making sure her eyeliner is on point, her lips are dangerously red, and her curls are smooth.Clint’s got coffee made for her in the kitchen and he waits with it while she steps into red soled shoes.

“You’re better than all of them Lewis.”He says in a throw back to their New Mexico days before pressing a kiss just below her ear.“Don’t let them make you think otherwise.” 

Darcy almost loses it then, almost lets everything she’s been holding back since his confession at the gala pour out, but she manages to keep a lid on it by pressing her lips to his cheek.She doesn’t bother to rub away the red smear she leaves behind before grabbing her coffee and darting through the door. 

She may be wearing some kick ass lingerie as armor but it doesn’t save her from the disaster that is her first morning back at the office.It actually starts off on a bright note when a small group of lab assistants corner her while she’s making rounds to tell her they thought the article about nepotism was bullshit and her dress from the gala had been fierce. Darcy escapes their questions about growing up with Tony for a father and rides the high of their compliments right into the small kitchenette where things go downhill. 

“Well if it isn’t Daddy’s little princess.”Dr. White’s nasally sarcasm cuts right through her burgeoning good mood and Darcy takes a deep breath as she ignores him, heading to the coffee pot. 

“Good morning Dr. Burns.”Darcy addresses the mousey researcher sitting at one of the small tables in the room.

“Good morning Darcy.” Dr. Burns at least seems neutral, “I’m sure you’ve got a busy morning catching back up but I submitted an urgent request last night.We’ve had a breakthrough and I need new test subjects.” 

“I will search for it first thing.” Darcy promises, “Congratulations on the breakthrough.Was it in the molecular structure or in the formula for attachment?” She asks, Dr. Burns’ work really is fascinating.The idea of building a vaccine that is essentially contagious could change medicine and stop the spread of dozens of terrible diseases in the third world. 

“The structure!” Dr. Burns chirps, “It was actually that change Adam discussed with you a few weeks ago. The addition really helped stabilize everything and we’re ready to try it on a vertebrate larger than a mouse.”Dr. White snorts from across the room. 

“That’s amazing!” Darcy exclaims, adding creamer to her coffee.“Is it big enough deal that you want me to summarize it up to Pepper?”

“Like you can’t just mention it over family dinner.”Dr. White mutters under his breath. 

“Okay.” Darcy throws the spoon she’d been using into the sink with a clatter and turns to him, “I could do that, sure, but it probably wouldn’t carry the same weight as an official report from the Lab Manager of R&D.”Darcy uses all of her self control to keep her voice level.

“At least now we know why you weren’t written up for those terrible things you said to me.”He sniffs in disdain and Darcy breathes out through her nose.She could have him killed with a text she reminds herself.Clint would be happy to do it but she’s supposed to be a better person.Still though.

“We both said things that day that were regrettable.We have also both apologized.”She tries to channel Pepper on the day the apology had been dragged from Darcy’s numb lips.Pepper Potts is a gem but Darcy had not been amused by the forced friendliness of that meeting.

“You should have been fired.”Dr. White sneers, “In fact, you shouldn’t have even been hired.Even the New York Times thinks so.” 

“Jim, maybe you should go check on your lab assistants.” Dr. Burns tries softly before she flees the room and Darcy loves her for the attempt. 

“I’m sorry you feel that way Dr. White.”Darcy takes a sip of her coffee, “Tell me, have you managed to get those budget documents I needed on your project expenditures?”

His face goes beet red and Darcy feels a vindication rush through her. “No.” He finally hisses.

“Let me know when you do and I can get caught up on your requisitions as well.Until then, you can direct all your thoughts on my lack of qualifications to Ms. Potts or Mr. Stark.” Darcy spins on her heel and heads to her office.

“Bitch.” 

The slur makes her pause just for a second and then she shakes her head and keeps walking.She does text Clint when she gets back to her office and the reply is immediate. 

**Want me to take care of it? I’ll make sure it’s slow.**

Darcy snorts a laugh and sets her mug from the kitchenette down next to the travel mug Clint made her that morning.Both are full, she hadn’t even needed the trip into the kitchen but she’d wanted the excuse to try and catch up after days away.She regrets it now.She texts Clint back a quick no with a heart eyed smiley face and turns on her computer. 

She opens all the inter office mail and finishes one of the coffees before a 9am alarm she’d set on her phone the night before dings.The suck it up and put on your big girl panties alarm.She takes another long sip of coffee wishing she had something a little stronger to lend her courage and straightens her skirt before heading back out onto the floor.

The door to Ben’s office is open and Darcy knocks softly on the door jam to attract the attention of the man behind the desk.Ben looks up at her and for a second Darcy sees something she can’t name in his eyes but then he gives her a warm smile and guilt pools in her stomach.She definitely did Ben dirty and she’s here to apologize, like a grown up. 

“Hey Ben, do you have a minute?” She steps further into the office trying to get some privacy from the curious lab assistants outside. 

“For you?” Ben asks, “Always.”He’s just way too nice.

“Thanks,” She steps completely into the office and closes the door most of the way.“I wanted to stop by an apologize —“

“No no. You clearly had a lot going on.” He shakes his head as he speaks and Darcy is speechless.Way way too nice. 

“Just let me.I do owe you an apology.I went missing on you and then — well I’m sure you saw the next morning what happened.I’m sorry I just left you hanging like that.” 

“Forgiven.”He says easily.“Maybe you could make it up to me by letting me take you to dinner tomorrow.”It’s the smoothest thing he’s ever said to her and Darcy’s head spins for a second before she catches up.

“Oh, that’s,” Darcy searches for a word, “very nice of you to ask but I’m —“ the lie is right there on her lips but she stops herself.The least she can do is be honest with him after he’s been so nice.“I’m actually seeing someone.We keep it quiet but I can’t.”

“Well, I had to try.” He taps a hand on his desk.“We can still do lunch sometimes right?” 

“Of course. Of course.” She says already standing from her seat.“Thanks Ben.” She gives him an awkward smile.

“Anytime.” He says and Darcy takes the cheerful dismissal as permission to flee the room and get back to her office. 

Darcy has 6,434 missed emails. She stares blankly at the number for several long minutes just trying to process what it means to have gotten almost 6,500 emails in four days.The idea that this many people want to talk to her is staggering but she needs to get through it, so with a few muttered curses she gets to work. 

She starts by searching for and approving Dr. Burns’ request for new research subjects although the idea of bringing more lab monkeys in makes her stomach turn over.She’s a fan of medical research for the outcomes but she does not love the means. 

She does a couple other spot searches for emails from colleagues and lab assistants who she knew would have incoming requests and then she settles in to handle the rest of it.She builds rules on rules on rules for her flooded inbox, filtering out everything by keyword and domain in an effort to get down to the things that aren’t media requests.She’s still left with over a thousand unread messages. 

Jane brings her lunch a little after noon and it’s a weird reversal of their usual roles to have her best friend insist that she eat more than four bite of her Caesar salad.Jane stays long enough to listen to her rant about Dr. White’s douchebaggery, Ben’s Uber niceness, and her lingering feelings of inadequacy before she leaves to get back to work. Darcy goes back to email hell. 

It’s 2pm when she finds the first email from Tony.It’s a short note from Sunday morning asking if she’s okay since she’s ignoring his texts.The second one was sent three hours later asking that she please answer her phone.The third, fourth, and fifth follow a similar trend with increasing levels of desperation and neurosis.The sixth is from late Sunday and Tony was drunk based on the spelling.The seventh is an apology for the sixth.Then there’s a break until late Tuesday night when the eighth and longest of the notes arrived.

It’s an apology.Not for risking his life and breaking his promises but for not realizing that he should have apologized for those things.He copied every email address and phone number she has, even a few she didn’t know he knew about, and ended it with a request that she talk to him.Darcy reads it three times and then deletes it.She’s definitely going to talk to him but she’s got another million fucking emails to get through and she knows Tony.He’ll be in his workshop, she knows where to find him when she’s ready.

It’s close to 5pm when she gets to the email from the SHIELD liaison.Sent with no sender name, from a sketch as fuck SHIELD email comprised mostly of random numbers, it’s a boiler plate denial of her appeal to get access to the classified requisition reports on Section 41.“Fucking bullshit.”She mutters to herself.She looks up to her open door and then stands to close it before throwing herself back down in her chair.She’s going to figure this shit out tonight, the feeling that something isn’t right has been lingering in the back of her mind for too long. 

“Jarvis, pull up the requisition files.”She snaps.

“Would you like all labs or just Dr. Whites?”Jarvis asks as the holographic copies start to hover over her desk.

“All labs and the shipping invoices, let’s see what you can make of those.Cross reference all content for patterns.” She leans back in her chair as the data starts to flash by quickly casting the room in soft blue light, “Let’s just throw the fucking kitchen sink at this thing. God damn SHIELD always making things overly complicated.” 

“Is there something in particular we’re looking for?” Jarvis almost sounds curious and Darcy wonders how much updating Tony’s done to the AIs emotional code over the years. 

“I don’t actually know,”Darcy finally admits, “but something doesn’t add up and I don’t like being told no.”She leans back in her chair and pulls up Reddit on her phone avoiding the news tab she flicks through the latest posts.

It takes more than an hour for the results to come back and Darcy is deep in a Reddit rabbit hole about worst sexual experiences on a Tinder date when Jarvis finally interrupts with the hollow dong tone that is his equivalent to a clearing of the throat.

“I have found something I might be of interest.” The AI says when Darcy looks up from her phone.

“Lay it on me J.” 

“It appears that every delivery for Section 41 was made exactly 2 days after a delivery for Dr. Foster’s lab. There are other correlations but this is the only consistent one.”Jarvis delivers the news in his usual dry manner but Darcy feels her heart skip a beat. 

“When was the Section 41 project started?” She asks with a dry mouth. 

“Section 41 launched on August 17th of this year.” Jarvis says, “The day you —“

“Moved in with Jane.” Darcy finishes with him.Oh this is sketch AF.It takes only seconds to decide on a course of action, “J-man, order us some takeout.I’m gonna be here a while.” 

Darcy ducks down to the messenger bag tucked under her desk and pulls out her personal computer.Pushing the S.I. issued laptop to the side she opens and boots up her more powerful machine and gets to work. 

Three hours and a rueben from the deli down the street later, Darcy is thoroughly annoyed.She wouldn’t consider herself some kind of master hacker but she’s no slouch either.She got into SHIELD’s system with no problem but there doesn’t seem to be any record of Section 41 or a sanctioned collab project with S.I..

She leans back in her desk chair, muttering a quiet, what the fuck. If the project isn’t acknowledged SHIELD research that would mean it’s need to know which is a whole other level of secret.Darcy gnaws on her lip and tries to figure out how deep she’s willing to go.She’s already way over the treason line although she’s covered her tracks well enough that she’d like to see Fury try.

“Fuck it, what’s a little more treason between frenemies?” She whispers before cracking her knuckles and starting again. With nothing to go on in the actual SHIELD files she turns to the email address used by the clearly not real liaison instead.It’s a simple thing to place a trace on it but the results are surprising.Instead of a New York or DC location it comes back with a series of server entires that bounce through a dozen countries.What the fuck is Dr. White up to?None of this makes any sense for a man who is mediocre at propulsion systems.At most Darcy had been expecting to find plans for a new helicarrier flight system not this spysassin level of bullshit. 

“Jarvis, are you able to search the SHIELD files for records that were altered on the same days as the deliveries to maybe narrow this down for me?” It’s a long shot, Jarvis won’t usually assist in capital crime for anyone but Tony. 

There’s a long pause and then, “It appears I am unable to complete that query.Would you like me to request an override from Sir?”

“No, that’s okay.”Darcy says quickly, she does not need Tony all up in this. “Okay so the files don’t exist in the SHIELD servers and the email address is nothing but they did send an email about it which means maybe they’re talking about it even if they’re not recording it?” 

She hits pay dirt in the SHIELD employee emails.It’s almost laughable really.She doesn’t even have to try the laundry list of keywords she’s identified as being possibly related, just types Section 41 into the all email search bar and there they are, hundreds of records from emails traded about the project.None of them contain any classified information but Darcy suddenly has confirmation that the project is need to know and that all files related to it were moved onto offline data storage servers within the workshop. 

It’s almost ten when she shoots Clint a quick text to let him know she’s still working late, gathers up her computer, and slips quietly out of her office.Objectively Darcy knows that what she is about to do is absolutely insane.Breaking into a secure lab to try and steal classified government secrets because she thinks the guy running it as douche and has a hunch that he’s trying to steal her best friend’s research is insane. But Jane doesn’t deserve this shit, Dr. White is an asshole who deserves anything that’s coming to him, and Darcy isn’t ready to deal with her real life so this seems like a good next step. 

Getting into the main lab is easy, she just uses her access badge.Getting through the secure door at the back of the lab is harder but not impossible.What she finds is stunning.It’s empty.The room is set up for all the heavy work one would expect of a classified project in a propulsion lab but that’s all it is, a set up.Empty tables, clean floors, unused machines still covered in their drop cloths, and one server stack.The hairs on the back of her neck stand up.This is so not okay. 

She’s here though and she’s going to see it through so she crosses the room and settles on the floor next to the server.Pulling down the hard wire she connects her computer and starts to work through the layers of encryption.It’s not light encryption.She feels like her fingers are going to fall off by the time she’s coded, installed, and executed the worm needed to get through it all. What she finds when the files finally load takes her breath away. 

Every order, every report, handwritten notes, copied supply sheets, pictures of white boards, it’s all there in neatly categorized files. Every piece of Jane’s research, carefully catalogued and tagged.Darcy starts to flick through the unclassified Section 41 order forms reading off familiar equipment requests and supply requisitions.Almost perfect duplicates to the ones she’s been approving for Jane since the day they arrived. 

“Holy shit. They’re trying to build it with her.”Like some kind of sick build-a-long SHIELD is clearly trying to create an Einstein Rosen Bridge along side Jane. Copying every piece of her work as she does it, making all the same mistakes, mimicking her every break through.Darcy stares down at over two years of information indicating this has been ongoing since long before they moved to New York.It would explain their access to her personal servers, they must have installed a worm when they took the equipment way back before the Destroyer and when Darcy loaded everything up she let them in to the new work too.“Fuck.” 

This is too big.This is — what is this? It’s not corporate espionage but it’s certainly not okay.It’s absolutely something she needs to take to Tony and Pepper.She sets up the files to copy over to her own hard drive and sits back to watch the progress bar fill.There’s less than 20% to go when she hears the beep of the main lab’s lock panel and her heart speeds up.She feels like every sense is heightened by adrenaline as fight or flight kicks in.Getting arrested for espionage will not help her new found public image.

Breathing shallow she listens, hoping it’s just a late night security sweep or maybe Clint coming down to check on her.There’s the soft static of a radio and then the careful footfalls of several feet in rubber soled shoes against the tile in the outer room.The progress bar is at 10% but none of it will matter if she can’t get out of the Section 41 lab. 

She dims the laptop screen to zero brightness and tucks it carefully into the server cage before quietly moving around until the server tower is between herself and the door.She’s in a pencil skirt and heels, not exactly ready to run but if it’s just S.I. security she shouldn’t need to run. 

“Jarvis?” She whispers into the dim room.“Jarvis.”

No answer.“Fuck.”

“This is a waste of time.Dragging us down here in the middle of the night for a false alarm.” 

“If the alarm goes off we show up.You know the drill.”

“Probably a fucking mouse.”

“A mouse? Seriously?”

“Shut it, both of you.The door’s open.”This last voice is followed by the unmistakable click of a pistol’s slide. 

Darcy ducks down to remove her heels and looks around wildly for something to arm herself.She can hear Clint’s lazy drawl in her head, stay quiet and hide if you can, if you can’t hide you run, if you can’t do either find a weapon and fight dirty.This is not S.I. security.That possibility fled with Jarvis’ lack of response, something is very wrong and now it’s time to make some hard choices.There is nothing nearby she can lift much less use to defend herself.She silently curses herself for not carrying her taser inside the tower.Never again. 

The door to Section 41 swings all the way open soundlessly and through gaps in the server cage grating Darcy can see three men silhouetted against the bright lights of the main lab.Her heart stops at the sight of their full tactical vests and guns.Yep, definitely not S.I. security.They don’t even look liked feds.She is so fucked.She keeps her breathing shallow, trying to ignore her pounding heart.She faced down the Destroyer and helped defeat the dark elves, she can do this. 

They don’t turn on the lights as they enter the room, fanning out in different directions to search the space.Even with the deep shadows Darcy can make out their shapes as they move in between lab tables on silent feet, methodically covering every inch of the space.There’s no way she could successfully hide from them which means her choices are fight or run.She stands 5’ 4” without heels, fighting three fully grown men in tactical gear without a weapon is not going to end well for her, so it’s time to run.She spares a thought for the computer, still tucked into the server cage with all the proof she needs on it, and decides she likes being alive more. 

She picks her moment carefully, holding her position until the last possible second when all three of them are as far away from her as they can get in their search patterns and then she strikes.There’s a terrifying false start when her slick stockinged feet fail to get traction on the tile floor but then she gets some grip and she’s off.

“Oh fuck!”

“Stop her!”

She’s within a step of the door, her fingers brush at the heavy metal when a hand catches in her loose hair and another grabs at her arm.Darcy swings wildly, flailing against the restraint, kicking and hitting everything she can reach.She feels a chunk of her hair tear free with a painful wrench and hands grip her with bruising force.

“Hold her!”

“Let go of me you fucker!” She screams, throwing her body weight away from the gripping hands and towards the floor.The trick, courtesy of Nat works for a few seconds but then a thick arm is around her waist.Darcy throws her head back and her vision whites out in pain as it connects with a satisfying grunt of male pain.At least she got one of them. 

“Where’s the thing?”

“What thing?”

“The thing! The thing!”

“Fuck, I think she broke my nose.” 

“I’ll break more than your nose.” Darcy snaps kicking back with her still unsecured feet and it seems she’s reached the end of someone’s patience because there’s suddenly an arm around her neck, stealing her breath.

“Found it.”

Even in the dim light Darcy can see the outline of the syringe in a hand and she lets out a panicked shriek as she redoubles her efforts.Bucking her body against the arm around her throat she kicks wildly and for a moment she almost manages to wriggle free and then all the air leaves her body as a fist slams into her stomach.The force of the blow makes her gag and her body goes limp in pain just long enough for the sting of a needle at her neck.

“Is that? It’s her right?”

“He’s going to have a fit.” 

It’s the last thing she hears before the world goes black. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Russian is supposed to say “little sister” — at least, according to google translate. If it’s not please let me know. I’d like to correct it. 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who’s been reading, leaving kudos, and commenting! You’ve all be adding some joy to my week which was much needed! 
> 
> I know this one ended on a cliffhanger — if you liked it or if you didn’t I’d still love to hear from you ❤️


	13. In the Dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy wakes up in a nightmare and things start to unravel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I went back and forth with how to handle the beginning of this chapter. There are some parts that could be upsetting or triggering to some readers. In an effort to be very cautious I’ve added a double page break bar after those parts of the story and a summary of events in the end notes. 
> 
> If you have issues with darkness, restraints, or violence you can read the quick notes and jump to the double page break to pick up the story without missing anything crucial.

Bright light and a roaring in her ears.She can’t move but the world is vibrating around her.She blinks and there’s the impression of metal grating when —

“She’s waking up.”

“Dose her again.”

“That’s it girl, back to sleep.”A prick inside her elbow.Everything fades away.

~0~

“Wake up!” A sharp slap to her face and hands holding her down, plucking at her clothes. 

“Nnhmnn” She tries to scream but it’s muffled against a gag and her whole body revolts at the feeling of being restrained.More rough hands and yelling. A spike of fear so visceral she’s certain she could die of it alone. 

“Hold her still, Christ.” 

“I’ve got it.”

A bright medical light shines over her head and she turns away to masked faces out of focus, swimming around her, their features twisted into the stuff of nightmares as they hold her down with gloved hands.She doesn’t feel the needle this time but she has to imagine it comes because the world goes suddenly dark. 

~0~

Darkness, so complete she has to press her fingers to her face to confirm her eyes are really open.Her head pounds in time to her heartbeat and she can barely get onto her side fast enough for her body to gag, her stomach muscles clenching around repeated dry heaves.She curls up tight on a hard cold floor and closes her eyes against the pain that’s throbbing through every limb.She wishes there was another needle. 

~0~

It’s the sound of a sharp metal clank that wakes her again but it’s the boot slamming into her stomach that gets her moving. Scrambling across the floor on instinct with eyes barely open away from the source of the pain as she tries to get her breath. 

“See, not dead.” Says a garbled voice and Darcy squints in a mix of confusion and panic at the figure wearing a mask, silhouetted against a bright square of light. 

“Good.”Says another voice and they both sound like they’re talking through the auto tune app, “Drop the food and lets go.” 

There’s a clatter of plastic on stone, shuffling feet, and she’s left alone again in the dark.She presses herself more firmly against the wall at her back and takes a deep breath.It hurts.Everything hurts but when she — yep — breathing in definitely creates a sharp pain. Fuck, she presses a hand against her ribs and realizes for the first time that she’s in different clothes.It sets her off into another round of panic and she has to struggle through a few more painful breaths to calm down enough to think straight. 

She needs to take stock.She needs to remember what happened.She needs to not lose it, not right now.She grounds herself, pushing her back against the wall and pressing her palms flat against the cold floor until she feels steady. 

Start with yourself she thinks.Start with what you know.She knows she’s alive. She runs her hands down her front and over her legs, she knows she’s wearing what feel like hospital scrubs.She knows she’s no longer wearing a bra or panties.That sends a shudder through her but she forces herself not to think about strangers stripping her unconscious body.She knows she’s in the dark. 

She does not know how much time has passed and Darcy feels a spike of panic.Will anyone have noticed her missing by now?Will Clint and Tony have started a search? What about the rest of the Avengers? Thor surely would join in and Natasha.Will they have found her computer or would the men who grabbed her have taken it too?If they didn’t take it and Tony realized what Dr. White was doing Darcy has no doubt her father would kill the man and then raze the earth looking for her.She and Tony might have their issues but there’s no doubt in her mind that he loves her, fiercely. 

Just the thought of Tony makes her eyes start to sting.She’s not sure she can handle thinking about Clint, his calm voice telling her it’s going to be okay.It’s too much and she pushes it down and away.She needs to know more about her current situation.She needs to get it together. 

She squints into the dark but it is absolute.She tests it by holding up her hand and she can’t see it even when she holds it so close she can feel her own breath against her palm.Fear of the dark is built into human DNA, a primordial protection for survival and Darcy can feel every cell of her body rebel against the idea of moving into the unknown blackness that surrounds her but somewhere out there she knows there’s food and she wants it.She needs it if she’s going to make it through this mess.

It takes a long time.An immeasurable amount time moving like molasses through what feels like nothing.She did not realize how much of her usual movement is ruled by sight, her limbs feel foreign and every inch she moves forward is a victory in the dark.She stays on her knees, one hand pressed to the wall and the other sweeping in front of her as she goes.She’s passed three sharp corners before the rough stone wall under her hand suddenly changes texture and she realizes she’s found the door. 

It takes a lot of effort to force herself to stand and injuries she had not yet catalogued make themselves known as she pulls herself up against the metal door.Mapping it’s width and height with her fingers, feeling for the shape of a knob or a handle, sliding fingers over the smooth surface.There’s no handle and no latch.She eases herself back down.She knows she won’t get out alone. 

The stupidity of the situation pulls a sharp laugh from her throat and it quickly becomes a hiss of pain.She knows she probably has a bruised or broken rib.Fuck it, she has to find that damn food.She knows the man dropped it near the door so she pulls her legs up and starts to crawl forward, keeping the bottom of one bare foot pressed against the door.It works, she’s only about half her height out when she finds the tray and pulls it back with her. 

She explores by feel, identifying two plastic bottles of water, what feels like bread, maybe an apple, and something cold and mashed.The idea of eating food she can’t see makes her gag.She eats it anyways, all of it.She also drinks a whole bottle of water and clutches the other close just in case more doesn’t comes for awhile.She is exhausted by the effort it took to do even this much and after a sparing a thought for the lack of bathroom she ends up drifting off to sleep. 

Darcy doesn’t know how much time she spends in the pitch black cell.She’s pretty sure she never will.She knows it’s long enough to get kicked awake three more times when food and more water are delivered. She knows it’s long enough to lose all shame over relieving herself in the corner farthest from the door.She knows it’s long enough to sing every song she knows to try and break up the humming silence.She knows it’s not long enough to gather the courage to take a hand off the wall and she never ventures into the center of that inky black cell.It’s more than long enough for her to run through every possible scenario about who has her from one of Tony’s enemies to her own government. 

She knows it’s long enough that by the time they drag her out of the dark, hooded, kicking, and screaming she smells horrible and she pisses herself and her captors in fear.

What comes next is objectively the worst thirty minutes of Darcy’s life to date.She’s not sure if it’s revenge for peeing on them or an attempt to further break her but they don’t bother to drug her.Instead the hood is ripped from her head and she finds herself blinking against the light in a bright tile room with three masked and gloved guards. 

“Struggle and you’ll regret it.” Says another auto-tuned voice and Darcy holds up her bound hands in surrender.She can barely breathe through the pain of her cracked ribs and she’s hardly eaten in days, there’s not a lot of fight left in her. 

“Got it.” She croaks out.“Who are you?” She has to ask.

“Strip.” The voice says and Darcy feels her stomach drop. 

“No thank you?” She means it to be sarcastic but it just comes out a raspy wince.”

One of the masked guards comes forward and Darcy’s recovering eyes zero in on the icon on the left shoulder of the uniform.It’s distantly familiar but she can’t place it and suddenly she has much bigger things to worry about as a knife is coming towards her at an alarming speed and angle.She lifts her hands to protect her face but the knife just cuts through the zip tie on her wrists, then the guard turns it down to cut the ties on her ankles.

“Strip.” The auto-tune repeats. 

She does.She hates herself for it but she does. The first blast of icy water against her bare skin steals her breath.After that she just endures it, the pressure high enough to needle at every bruise she can see blooming over her now exposed flesh.When the indignity of the ‘shower’ is done she’s manhandled, still naked, by rubber covered fingers onto a metal chair and she’s held down.Darcy feels a bolt of panic at the sound of something buzzing behind her but a gloved hand grips her neck with almost inhuman strength.

It takes two passes of the clippers for Darcy’s fear soaked mind to catch up with what is happening.They’re shaving her head.She feels understanding of something she doesn’t want to confront settle deep in her chest.This feels ominously like preparation for a nice long stay. 

She knows she’s going to die here. 

Never see blue green eyes crinkled up in a smile again.Never take another picture in front of Balto.Never stare up at the stars with the sounds of rambling science in the background like magic.Never try on a new pair of shoes.Never feel calloused hands brush over her skin until she aches.Never say all the things she’s held back. 

The weight of it all shocks her into a wild panic and her body rebels with newfound strength against the hands tight on her wrists, her feet kicking out even through the pain of abused muscle.There’s a clatter and yelling and she’s screaming until something hard slams into her temple.

She wakes up in the dark.She has no way to confirm it but it feels like the same room.The same pitch blackness here to welcome her back.Rubbing a hand over her head she can feel the soft bristle of a buzz cut and then the sticky spread of wet blood.She’s in a new set of scrubs and everything aches. 

She presses her back against the wall and she just breaks. 

* * *

~0~

* * *

There are four more food deliveries before something changes.She’s pressed against the far side of the cell, facing the wall she knows has the door on it.She’s spent the time since the last food drop napping and making bargains with whoever might be out there listening. 

_Get me home and I’ll be a better person._

_Get me home and I’ll forgive my dad._

_Get me home and I’ll tell Clint how I feel._

_Get me home and I’ll never take anything for granted._

_Get me home and..._

She’s interrupted by a deep rumbling shudder that she feels through the wall more than hears.Then silence.It takes her a long moment to realize the low hum that’s been a constant background in the cell since the beginning is gone.The hair on her arms goes up in the stillness of the air and Darcy takes a shallow breath, the power is out.It’s the loss of the electricity. 

She pulls herself up on shaking legs to press her back more fully against the wall and for the first time since she was standing in the Section 41 lab she feels something like hope bloom in her chest.There’s another rumbling and this one must be closer because a shower of dust rains down from the ceiling.She wants to move across the dark to where she knows the door is and pound her fists against it until they’re bloody but she can’t force herself to move.There are too many unknowns in the dark between here and there.

Without the constant hum in the background she can suddenly hear footsteps echoing outside the door.She didn’t realize how much information the white noise had been covering but before she can go too far down that rabbit hole there’s the familiar clank of the lock.She presses herself as flat against the wall as she can, sinking into a crouch to try to shield herself from whatever new hell is coming in.The door opens slowly and the light is blinding, she blinks against it, squinting through watery painful eyes. 

“Darce?”

The whimper that leaves her throat is almost inhuman.Her body moves before her brain has caught up and she’s scrambling on hands and knees and then unsteady feet straight across the open floor of the cell until she collides with Clint

“Be real. Be real.Pleasepleasepleaseplease be real.” She’s gasping the words into his throat even as his familiar smell invades her senses.“Please.” 

“I got you.You’re okay.”He’s muttering the words into her neck as hands run over her head and down her sides looking for damage, confirming she’s okay.“Oh baby.”His voice breaks just a bit and she can feel one warm palm cupping the back of her head.

She’s shaking against him, her fingers clutching at the straps on his tac vest trying to get her breathing under control.Every inhale causing a now familiar hitch of pain from whatever damage has been done to her ribs.He seems to realize she’s struggling and he pushes back from her trying to look her over in the light coming though the door when there’s a static crackle from his ear piece. 

He reaches up to touch a comms link on his vest, “Got her in the sub level.Nat and I can get her out.”There’s a pause and then, “Roger that.” 

“We have to go.” Nat’s voice rings out from the doorway and Darcy shifts to peer around Clint’s broad shoulder at the red head standing just outside the cell with her gun drawn.“We don’t know where the next charge is set.” 

“Right.” Clint says and then he’s pulling something from a pocket on his chest.“Darcy, look at me.”She can’t focus though it’s too much stimulation after endless time trapped in the dark and her eyes are bouncing around wildly, she can feel the panic rising as her breathing picks up and every gasp is like a knife to the chest.His hands slide up to cup her face, “Look at me.” She does.“Breathe slow baby girl.” He whispers and she feels his own breath slow down to guide hers.“There you go.”

“Gotta move Hawk.” Nat says from the doorway and Darcy feels shame flood her at the sympathetic tone from the Black Widow. 

“I know.” Clint snaps over his shoulder and then turns back to her.“I’m going to put a comm in your ear so you can tell Tony you’re okay and then we’re going to get out of here okay?”He waits until she nods, unable to speak and then he telegraphs his every movement pushing the small ear piece in.He pushes the link on his vest again and then, “She’s got it Stark.” 

“Darcy?” Tony sounds out of breath and there’s a noise in the background that her sluggish brain slowly identifies as his suit’s repulsors.“Can you hear me kiddo?”

“Yeah,” her voice is hoarse with misuse, “daddy?”

“Christ, yeah kiddo. I’m here.”He breathes out the words and Darcy feels impossibly young, she never thought she’d see him again.She never thought she’d see anyone again.“Barton’s going to get you out of there.I’ll see you in a few minutes.Love you Darce.”There’s another rumbling blast and Clint pulls her tighter against him, covering her body with his as more dust rains down.

“Now!” Natasha’s voice is sharp. 

Clint’s deft fingers remove the ear piece and then he’s pulling Darcy forward to the threshold of the cell.He stops there and looks her over again with a critical eye.“I’m gonna pick you up.It’s probably going to hurt.”It’s a warning not a request and Darcy barely has time to brace herself before he’s carefully hefted her up into his arms bridal style and they’re moving. 

The Black Widow is clearly walking point but Darcy only pays attention long enough to note the glock she holds in one competent hand before she turns her face into Clint’s chest.His tac vest is scratchy but his arms are strong and familiar.Darcy hovers somewhere between relief and panic for the entire trip through the halls.Then suddenly they’re outside and Clint’s arms tighten painfully around her battered body as he starts to run. 

By the time she hears his footfalls start to echo on the ramp of the quinjet she can barely breathe through the pain in her chest.She’s aware of being put down on a soft surface and she tries to suck in a gasp of air but all the jostling of the escape has shifted something insider her.She stares up with wide eyes and sees Clint’s face go hard, his fingers tugging up the loose scrub top to inspect her side.

“Fuck!”He hisses and Darcy feels the fear flood back in as she can’t catch her breath.She tries to talk and all that comes out is a rasping whine.“Don’t try to talk.”He says urgently and he’s reaching over her ripping at cabinets.

“Collapsed lung?” Nat’s voice is high from behind him.

“Rib must have shifted when we had to run.” Clint snaps back. Darcy’s blood turns to ice and she struggles to get enough air. Black spots swim in her vision and she can hear Natasha speaking quickly in the background and then Clint is kneeling over her chest on the padded table, his hands on her face.“Shallow breaths, slow.I got you baby girl. Focus on me.” 

Darcy stares at him, trying desperately to follow instructions.Her oxygen starved brain points out how pretty his eyes are. She never thought she’d see those eyes again, with their blue green irises and the little gold rings around the pupils.She’s distantly aware of his hands moving out of her line of sight and then the feeling of small feminine hands carefully touching the sides of her face.There are stars dancing in her vision as she struggles to remain conscious through the lack of air. 

“I’m sorry about this Darce.”Clint says and Darcy wonders why he’s apologizing for saving her but then she’s kicked in the chest by a horse, finally manages to get a full gasp of air, and all hell breaks loose. 

She’ll learn later that the horse was actually Clint slamming a giant fucking hollow needle into her lung though her left side.It saved her life.It also happened just as Tony was arriving at the quinjet and was enough to set off his ten day old hair trigger.The ensuing fight, Nat told her much later, was ugly and only ended by Bruce coming down from his hulk out to remind everyone that Darcy could probably use a surgeon.

All of this is why when Darcy slowly swims to consciousness two days later in the best hospital bed money can buy, Clint is nowhere to be found.Tony, however, is sprawled out asleep in a chair by her bed, sporting several days of beard growth.The room is filled with mid-morning sun and the brightness more than anything helps her stay calm as she takes a few slow breaths and takes stock.She’s not in pain, although she’s guessing that’s more to do with hospital drugs than speed of healing. 

“Darcy?” Tony’s voice is alert and she turns to meet his gaze, realizing he must not have been as asleep as she thought to sound so awake.

“—ey,” She tries for hey but only gets out a raspy syllable.

“Here.” Tony is lunging for a cup of water on the bedside, holding it up to her with a straw ready. “Drink slow. Your nurse could give Ratchet a run for her money so we don’t want to piss her off.”

The water is cool and sweet, it’s a struggle not to suck down the entire cup but she let’s Tony take it away without argument when he’s determined she’s had enough.“Hey.” She tries again and while she sounds hoarse she manages it. 

“Hey yourself kiddo.”Tony says throwing himself back in the chair.“You scared the shit out of me.”

“Next time,” she starts and has to pause to swallow around the scratches in her throat, “I’ll leave a note before I’m kidnapped.”She finishes, trying to give him a a wry smile. 

“It’s just polite.” Tony agrees.

“How bad?” She nods at her mostly blanket covered body.Tony shrugs and she rolls her eyes, lifting one hand in a ‘come on’ gesture.

“Well Barton managed to collapse your lung during the evac.” Tony finally says and Darcy rolls her eyes again.

“We can probably blame that one on my kidnapper’s fondness for kicking me awake.” She quips.She’s aiming for sarcasm but Tony’s wince almost makes his full body jerk.“Too soon?” She asks.

“It will never not be too soon on this one kiddo.”When she meets his eyes they’re glassy.“Was a rough time.”He adds. 

“Now we’ve both been kidnapped.We can start a club or maybe a very small gang.”That one does get a smile out of him but it doesn’t reach his eyes.“What else?” She asks, waving a hand down her body again. 

“Well,” Tony starts, “aside from the rib nothing else is broken, lots of bruises, a few cuts and scrapes.You needed surgery for the lung. That’s why we’re not at the tower.”He pauses, “No sign of sexual assault?” He says it like a question and his eyes are suddenly glued to something about two feet to the right of her head. 

“No,” She agrees and he lets out a shuddering breath, “there wouldn’t be.”

“And of course, your hair.”His fingers come out and rub over her shorn locks. 

“Yea, I told them I wanted Charlize in Cider House Rules but they went full Mad Max.” Darcy jokes and she’s rewarded with another huff of laughter from Tony. 

“You get this from me you know.” He says, reaching out to take her hand in his.

“What?” She asks.

“The inappropriate joking about things that scare you.”His eyes are serious and Darcy looks away. 

“Where’s Pepper?”Darcy deflects and then yawns.

“She had to leave for a few hours.She’ll be back soon.” Tony says, his thumb is rubbing circles over her hand.

“Clint?” Darcy asks but she can already feel her eyes getting heavy. 

“I’m sure the birdbrain is around somewhere.” Tony replies just a little too casually but Darcy is already slipping back under.

The second time she wakes up Pepper is there but so are the doctors and Darcy has to breathe through her panic at the feeling of gloved hands against her skin.When they leave there is a question in Tony’s eyes that Darcy refuses to answer.She stays awake long enough for Pepper to whisper love in her ear and smooth a cool hand over her brow, then she goes back to sleep. 

The third time she wakes up it is the middle of the night and when she opens her eyes to find the room cast in shadow her entire body seizes up in fear.It’s only the soft beeping of her heart monitor and a warm hand pressed to her forehead that stops her from jerking out of the bed in panic.Clint’s face is inches from hers, his eyes bright. 

He let’s out a slow breath, “There’s my girl.”His voice is thick with unspoken emotion and he slides his hand back over the soft bristle of her shorn hair.The dark of the room is tugging at Darcy’s sanity, even with Clint’s touch she can feel herself sliding back to long hours spent in a pitch black cell. 

“Are you real?” She asks, dragging a heavy hand up to touch his cheek.She can tell there are still some serious painkillers in her system because her mouth feels funny around the words. 

“Yes.” Clint’s voice is a hush of breath against her face and he leans even closer to press his forehead to hers.“I’m real. You’re safe.”He starts to pull away but she digs shaky fingers into his face to keep him in place and his eyes widen in question.

“Where’s —“ She has to pause to swallow around a dry throat, “Where’s Tony?” She asks softly her eyes scanning the room for her missing father before darting back to find Clint looking guilty. 

“He’s around.” Clint’s voice is pained and something pulls at Darcy’s mind but before she can get too far down that road he speaks again. “Do you want me to go get him?”

“No. Don’t leave.” Darcy can feel her throat tightening at the idea of being alone even in the almost mock darkness of the hospital room. “Please.” It comes out a broken plea and she watches Clint’s face just crumble.

“Oh baby girl,” He slides a big hand over her head again to cup the base of her skull and after the last few weeks Darcy is so terribly aware of how delicate she is, of how much damage hands like Clint’s can do with the right motivation.She leans into his touch though, she’s starved for it.“Darcy. Christ I —“ His voice trails off into a thick swallow. “I’m here. I’m here.” 

She doesn’t have the energy to respond. Her body is still pumped full of high quality drugs and she can already feel them pulling her back down into oblivion but she fights it.Clint seems to realize what’s going on and his thumb starts to rub soothing strokes on the back of her neck.Her eyes feel heavy and she can feel more than hear the soft rumble of Clint’s voice still whispering to her but her ears are filled with cotton.She drifts back into oblivion.

She dreams.Clint’s touch and the drugs soothing her into dreams that are almost memories more than anything else.His face hovering over hers in the bright light of his Bed Stuy apartment, hands cupping her face the way they had in the gala hallway. “I love you” he says and Darcy feels her mouth move to answer him, able to say the words here in her mind where the morphine has stolen all her fear.His smile could light up everything. 

The scene shifts though and she’s suddenly small again, maybe seven or eight and creeping through the halls of the Malibu house and she can hear yelling.Tony is yelling at someone about her and the other person is yelling right back.Darcy presses herself back against the wall of the hallway and covers her ears, she hates when Tony yells.She stays until Happy finds her and he carries her back to her room where it all fades away. 

When she wakes up for the fourth time it’s bright morning and she feels clear headed for the first time since she first opened her eyes in the hospital.Clint is gone and Tony is sitting by the bed reading on a tablet, he puts it down when he realizes she’s awake. 

“Hey kiddo.”He says and he sounds so tired.

“Hey,” Darcy says and then hisses, “hurts.” She says softly and she watches Tony’s brow crease in sympathy.

“I know,” he agrees, “they had to take you off the good stuff.Can’t stay on it more than 2 days.You want me to ring the nurse for some pills?”

“No.” Darcy takes a slow breath through it and the pain becomes manageable, “Where’s Pepper and Clint?” She asks about the two people she knows have been to visit.

“Pep’s out in the waiting room on a conference call.”Tony says lightly. 

“And Clint?” Darcy asks and Tony looks away guilty.

“You want some water?What about breakfast?” Tony is already reaching for the water cup on the over bed table but Darcy lifts a hand to hold his wrist, stilling him.

“What’d you do?” She asks and her voice feels hoarse with misuse. 

“Now why do you always assume I did something?” Tony asks and he shakes off her hand to pick up the water and hold it for her to take a few deep swallows.It hurts to swallow but in an achy way that she can push through. 

She releases the straw with a satisfied ah, “I usually assume you’ve done something based on historical experience.”

“I asked him to leave.” Tony finally says, “I don’t want him here.Family only.”His tone is clipped in false arrogance and guilt.He’s digging his heels in.

“He is family.” Darcy says and then swallows, “I know I hurt you by hiding him but that doesn’t change that he’s been here for two years.”The when you weren’t she leaves unsaid, she can see it all over Tony’s face anyways. 

“You in love with him?”

Yes, Darcy’s drugged brain screams. “That’s none of your business.” She says to Tony. 

“You weren’t supposed to love other men.”Tony tells her, “You promised when you were six that you’d be my girl forever.You remember that? I have it on video I’m pretty sure it constitutes a binding agreement that makes this thing with the Hawk a void contract.”

“Tony — Dad, I love you.”Darcy tries to say it like it’s matter of fact but it’s been so long since she’s told him regularly and she’d thought she’d never get the chance to do it again.She can feel tears pricking at her eyes and the way her breathing picks up makes her ribs ache.“I didn’t think —“

“Hey kiddo,” Tony’s voice is thick too, his eyes glassy, “none of that. You’re home, you’re going to be fine. I love you too. It’s all okay.”He takes a breath, “I am sorry Darcy.”He takes a deep breath and leans forward so rest his elbows on the edge of the bed, “I should have realized — or asked or just known what it was all doing to you.God knows you’ve scared me too with space robots and elves so I should have known how much it was hurting you but I just, I needed to protect you, everyone.” 

It’s the apology she wanted but right now, after the dark, after knowing she was going to die, it feels useless and unnecessary between them.She doesn’t need the words as much as she just needs him back in her life as the larger than life father he’s always been.She opens her mouth to tell him so when the door opening has them both looking away. 

“Mr. Stark, Ms. Lewis.”There’s two people in suits standing in the doorway, Pepper behind them looking harassed. 

“And you are?” Tony has shifted from loving father to pissed off Iron Man in seconds and Darcy can feel dread pooling in her stomach.

“I’m Agent Wright, this is Agent Carey.” The man who’s speaking gestures to the woman behind him, “we’re from SHIELD and we heard Ms. Lewis was up and capable of answering a few questions.”

“The fuck she is.” Tony sounds furious and he moves around the bed to stand between Darcy and the agents. 

“They have all the right paperwork.” Pepper says tiredly from the doorway and she gives Tony a meaningful look.

“Fuck paperwork.” Tony barks, “She’s not talking to anyone.She just woke up.” 

“Tony.” Darcy says and while he doesn’t turn around she can tell from the set of his shoulders that he heard her. “It’s okay, I’ll answer their questions.”Honestly, Darcy doesn’t trust SHIELD as far as she could throw the bulky Agent Wright but Clint always told her the research side of SHIELD wasn’t the same as the investigative, maybe these agents will take action with the info she has. 

“Fine.” Tony snaps and then settles himself on the foot of the bed by her feet.

“We’d need to talk to Ms. Lewis alone,” Agent Wright says, “if you don’t mind.”

“I do mind.” Tony says and Darcy rolls her eyes.

“Dad, just help me sit up and then get out.It’ll be okay.” Tony looks at her and Darcy can see the helplessness in the back of his eyes.He does as he’s asked though, grumbling the whole time he helps her carefully adjust the bed and her pillows until she’s sitting up.

“If she’s even upset when you’re done I’ll sue you both until you can’t even get a payday loan.” Tony gives one last glaring warning and then leaves the room. 

“Your father is very protective.” Agent Carey says and Darcy takes a closer look at the short blond agent in her ill fitting suit.

“He’s got some time to make up for.” Darcy says, “What did you want to know? I’ll warn you I really haven’t been awake long so I’m not sure what everyone already knows.”

“So far almost nothing is known about your kidnappers.” Agent Wright says, moving to stand at the foot of the bed and pulling out a notepad.“You were located using contacts from Natasha Romanoff and there were no hostiles left at your location by the time the Avengers arrived.Anything you can tell us about why or how you were taken would be helpful.”

That throws Darcy for a loop. The idea that they’d spent the last few days watching her sleep without any breaks in identifying the who is unsettling.Darcy isn’t too solid on the who herself though.She knows she was digging into SHIELD files when she was taken but she was also in a secret room in Dr. White’s lab in Tony’s tower.She’d thought about it a lot in that dark cell but hadn’t really come with anything that made sense.

“We just want to ask you some questions.” Agent Carey says and she’s clearly going to be playing good cop. 

Darcy nods, “Ask away.” She agrees. 

Ask they do.They want to know about the night she was taken, where she was when she was taken, how many men where there, did she see their faces, hear their voices.Then they want know about where she was kept, a cell Darcy tells them unable to talk about the pitch blackness just yet.They want to know about her hair, her injuries, the rescue.They don’t ask about why she was in Dr. White’s lab so late at night, for which Darcy is grateful because she’d rather not admit to what was basically espionage in front of two federal agents.The entire interview is surprisingly quick and less than thirty minutes later Agent Wright is closing his notepad.

“Thank you for this Mr. Lewis. We’ll be in touch if we have follow up questions.” He’s already turning to the door.

“Are you going to look into Dr. White? There’s clearly something going on with his projects.” She asks.

Agent Wright stops and gives her a small smile, “Dr. White was interviewed along with everyone else on your floor immediately after your disappearance and all of the labs searched by both SHIELD and Stark Industries. There was no evidence of wrongdoing.” There’s a long pause, “I share this with some reservation, but all evidence points to you being taken from your office not inside his lab.”

Darcy’s heart stops.“What do you mean?” She can hear the shrill note in her own voice. “I was there, I wasn’t in my office, I was in the Section 41 lab.”

“Darcy,” Agent Carey says softly and Darcy does not appreciate the sudden informality, “Sometimes victims of trauma can mis-remember the most difficult parts of their experiences.” It’s said so kindly Darcy feels nauseous with the implications. 

“But I—” Darcy starts and then stops. 

“You were working late, maybe fell asleep at your desk.” Agent Wright offers, “The hostiles appear to have taken you from your office, there were signs of a physical altercation there and your blood.” 

“My blood?” She feels breathless. 

“You had a lot of good info here though,” Agent Carey adds, “We’re going to use it to try and figure out who took you.Right now we think it was related to your recent press debut as Tony’s daughter.”

“I — okay.” Darcy is speechless, unable to decide if she’s angry, confused, or indignant. “Thank you?”

The agents don’t say anything else as they file out of the room and Darcy is trying to sort through her memories of the night two weeks ago when she was taken.Nothing about those details feels fuzzy or wobbly.She can remember everything up to the point those men managed to get the needle into her neck with perfect clarity.Even so, she did spend almost ten days in a hellscape of fear and darkness.Is it possible she constructed the kidnapping details to keep her mind busy while she sat there in the dark to avoid thinking about how scared she was? Absolutely. Does she think that’s what happened? If she’d asked herself ten minutes ago the answer would have been a firm no.Now though…

“Kiddo?” Tony’s voice is soft and very close, “Did they mind their manners?” She turns her head and finds him standing by the bed watching her carefully and she takes in the dark circles under his eyes and his drawn expression.Her poor father.

“Yeah, they were fine.” Darcy says absently.

“I brought you contraband coffee and visitors.” Tony says with a genuine smile and Darcy pulls herself back to the present to look over Tony’s shoulder where Jane and Thor are hovering in the doorway. 

“Janie!” The shock of seeing her best friend is enough to pull her out of the last of her confusion.Jane rushes forward and Darcy is barely saved from what would have been a very painful hug by Tony’s quick reflexes.Thor enters followed by Pepper and Jane gushes about how worried she’s been while everyone finds seats around the room. 

It’s an excellent visit.Tony brought a cinnamon mocha and Darcy sips at it slowly while Jane and Thor talk about everything that happened while she was gone.They’ve run through the lab updates, Jane’s latest breakthrough, a fire in Dr. Banner’s lab, and an escaped monkey when Jane gets to Dr. White.

“Dr. White got his Darce.” Jane says, “He felt terrible that he’d been so rude to you once we realized you’d been kidnapped because of all the headlines.Especially after he saw your office.” 

It brings everything from the agents back to the forefront and Darcy can’t help asking, “My office was damaged?”

“It was a disaster.” Jane says throwing her hands up in the air, “It looked like you put up quite a fight, which, of course you did.”

“What did Jarvis have to say about that?” Darcy asks turning to look at Tony, “He was offline that night.I asked for help and he didn’t reply.”

“Jarvis reported you missing.” Tony says sounding confused, “He raised the alarms around 3am but by the time we got to the floor you were gone.” Darcy feels herself go cold again, that’s hours off the real timeline by her math.None of this makes sense.She looks around the room feeling paranoid but she knows she can trust these people.Tony, Pepper, Jane, and Thor.There’s no one here she wouldn’t trust with her life and then some.

“I —” She starts and has to pause, “that’s not how I remember it.” She finally gets out. 

“What do you remember?” Jane asks, reaching down to put a comforting hand on Darcy’s leg over the blankets from her perch on the hospital bed. 

“I was working late, sure.” Darcy agrees. “But I was looking into the finances for Dr. White’s side project because I couldn’t get the forms from the liaison and I was fed up with everything and I decided I was going to figure out what was going on no matter what.” She pauses, her mind racing and all she can hear is Agent Carey’s nice voice saying that sometimes trauma victims misremember.“I must have fallen asleep or I don’t know.” She finishes lamely staring down at her hands. 

“That’s okay Darce.” Jane says softly and the hand on her leg squeezes reassuringly.“You’ve been through a lot.” Darcy feels guilt and frustration rush through her.If she knew what was true she could tell them about the stolen research but now, with all this doubt, she doesn’t want to end up sounding like a paranoid nut case. 

“Thanks Janie.” She says softly.“I’m getting tired.”It feels like a lie coming out but it’s followed by a very genuine yawn and Jane and Thor are saying their goodbyes. 

“You should sleep.” Pepper says once it’s just the three of them again.“We’ll be here.”

“Yeah kiddo.” Tony sounds half asleep himself so Darcy let’s the comfort of her parents lull her to sleep. 

Time in a hospital moves funny.Darcy feels like she’s been there forever and for no time at all when she’s getting the all clear to go home.She’s completely off the painkillers and her ribs still hurt but in the dull aching way that indicates healing rather than immediate damage.She spends a lot of time playing cards with Tony and drinking contraband coffee.They do end up finishing their conversation about the apology and there are some tears but mostly there are promises to be better to each other.

There are more visits from Bruce, Jane, and Thor.Clint never comes back when she’s awake but she finds evidence he’s come when she’s asleep.The most notable, a lopsided heart drawn on her palm in purple sharpie one morning.Darcy isn’t sure if he’s avoiding her or Tony but she can guess it’s Tony based on the dark look Tony gets whenever she asks about him.Something they still haven’t figured out apparently.Nat also doesn’t stop by but her distance is explained by Tony when he mentions her going back to DC to help Steve so Darcy lets it go. 

Darcy saves her thoughts of what happened the night she was taken for the times she wakes up at night and the hospital room is dim.It’s a big enough problem to distract her from the way the dark corners seem to reach for her, shadows sliding closer to the bed in a menacing fashion.It doesn’t seem to matter how much she thinks about it though, she can’t force the series of events laid out by the SHEILD agents or her friends to make sense and she can’t find anything to confirm what she does remember.It leaves her feeling cold and confused.

So on her last morning in the hospital she’s still struggling with reality as she waits alone for Tony to finish the checkout paperwork with the nurses out at the desk.Pepper is busy back at the office but she’d sent Tony with clothes and Darcy is thrilled to be in her own yoga pants and tshirt for the first time since the rescue.She’s not allowed bras yet because of her stitches but soon.She’s just wondering how quickly she can find Clint after they get back to the tower when the man in question ducks into the hospital room.

He stops short just inside the door before kicking it closed behind him.There’s a tense moment where he just stands there staring at her and Darcy uses the time to appreciate how beautiful he is in his fitted tshirt and jeans.She can still taste the grief of thinking she’d never see him again on the back of her tongue.He opens his mouth and then closes it before taking two big steps across the room and kissing her.It’s rough and born of desperation and Darcy melts into it, twisting her fingers in the front of his shirt even as she feels his calloused hand slide up the back of her neck to cup her head. His mouth is hot against hers and he doesn’t make allowances for her injured state as he presses his tongue into her mouth demanding she match him in his need.When he finally breaks away it’s only a separation of their mouths, his body and hands stay close. 

“Hey.” She says against his mouth, “Missed you.” It’s not even remotely enough to express how she feels but he seems to understand. 

He huffs out a laugh against her mouth and it’s so familiar her chest aches. “Let’s not do that again.” He says softly and Darcy nods. 

“I don’t think my hair could take it.” She quips and she watches his wince turn into an eye roll. 

“You’re beautiful.” He whispers back and Darcy believes him.

“Liar.” She whispers back anyways, and then, “Why didn’t you come visit when I was awake before now?” She has to know where they stand.

“Tony made it pretty clear I wasn’t welcome.” Clint says, finally stepping back to put some distance between them although his hands stay on her, one at her neck and other holding her waist. 

“Why?” That tracks with the reactions she’d seen from both of them but makes no sense. 

“He blames me for your lung.” Clint pulls away entirely now to rub a hand over the back of his neck, “I should have realized you were hurt.Shouldn’t have shaken you up so much running with you.”He looks guilt ridden over it and Darcy shakes her head.

“I’d take another punctured lung over being back where I was.” She says reaching for him, “The doctor says you saved my life with that needle to the chest trick.”He comes back, close enough to take the hand she’s holding out. “Why come by now? We’re headed back to the tower and you have to believe you were going to be my first stop.” She can tell immediately she’s not going to like the answer. 

“I got orders this morning.” He steps closer as he says it but Darcy looks away before he can kiss her.She knows this is his life but she just came back she hasn’t even had the chance to enjoy being able to touch him again. “I have to go this afternoon. In two hours actually.”He says it into the skin behind her ear.

“Tell them no.” It’s the first time she’s ever asked him not to go and she feels him stiffen against her at the words. 

“I can’t Darce.” It comes out a low whine.“I don’t have a reason to.” And the way he says it sparks something dangerously close to anger in her chest.

“The woman you love was just kidnapped.” She snaps pushing him away.It’s such a low blow and she knows he lets her move him but the way he rocks back on his heels is satisfying all the same.Darcy can feel hot anger, no matter how irrational, bubbling up in her chest. 

“The woman I love who from an official perspective is just the daughter of a teammate to me?” Clint asks and Darcy knows immediately she’s not going to have the high ground in this fight.

Not when she’s never been honest with him about how she feels, never told him how desperately she loves him back, never managed to deal with the emotional side of their relationship. No, this is going to go poorly but she digs her heels and gives him an arch look anyways.

“You mean the woman,” Clint continues, “who after two years still doesn’t have me noted as an emergency contact so I had to sneak in and steal her file to find out if she’d survived surgery? That woman?” Clint’s eyes are flashing fire by the time he finishes talking and Darcy knows it means they’re beyond his usual calm center of control.

“Yes.” She flings back. “Or how about the woman who can’t deal with you running out into danger looking for a gunshot wound only days after she was rescued.” She’s shrill by the time she’s finished. 

“Oh grow the fuck up Darcy and learn to deal with your feelings.” Clint’s voice is sharp on the retort, “You can’t handle worrying about me getting shot or hurt?I can’t handle being forced to stand outside your hospital room without the right to know what’s going on! I can’t handle walking around loving you without having any idea how you feel! I can’t deal with the feeling that you’re embarrassed to tell people we’ve essentially been together for two years! You’re not the only one at risk of getting hurt, stop acting like it.”

It’s like another giant needle to the chest and she gapes at him for a second, “If that’s how you feel then you probably should leave.” She shouts the words at him and he throws his hands up in the air in frustration. 

“Jesus Christ Darce!” He barks, “We both have incredible amounts of emotional baggage and I mean this in the most caring way possible but somehow you’ve managed to out do me on the inability to handle feelings thing and it’s astounding.” No matter how he means it, it comes out condescending as hell and Darcy is so ferociously angry. 

She’s still trying to figure out if her mind is all hers and she doesn’t want to deal with this right now.She wants to force all the big stuff back into it’s box and just curl up against him under the covers until she feels safe again.She wants to tell him she loves him. She wants to tell him he makes her feel safe.She wants to tell him she needs him under the covers with her to reassure herself that all is not lost and everything will be okay. 

Instead she says, “Don’t talk to me like that,” and her voice sounds bitchy as hell. 

Clint just gives her a level glare, “Fine.” He agrees, “I can’t force you to love me back but if you do I need you to act like it for once.” It’s a low blow of his own and they both know it. 

“And acting like it means being happy you’re headed out the door to find more trouble?” She asks, her voice rising even more with her anger, “You don’t need me to say it but you do need to me to send you off into danger with a kiss on the cheek and a please try to come home?”

“You’ve never struggled with it before.” He snaps back, “Or were all those other times because you didn’t actually care?” 

“Jesus!” It comes out as an indignant shriek, “Is that what you think? That I just send you off on ops without a care in my head because I don’t give a shit about you?” The words are angry but it’s a cover, Darcy is terrified of the answer.She can feel dread curling in her chest over the idea that he’s gone this long thinking she doesn’t care about him at all.

“I don’t know what I think anymore.” He finally says, his voice back to deadly calm. “I have followed your lead on this since day one and I have never complained until now. I don’t mind that you can’t say it back right now. I don’t mind that sometimes you make stupid unilateral decisions about us.I don’t mind that you’re scared of commitment.I do all those things too.I just need to know that at the end of the day you’re in this I-have-feelings-I-can’t-handle-hellscape with me and the only way to do that right now is for you to use your grown up words.” He looks wrecked.

She _is_ in it with him, she has been for a long time and all her mental boxes have kept it contained but apparently she’s lost her ability to compartmentalize along with her ability to determine which memories are real. It doesn’t help that she’s so irrationally furious with him for making her deal with this right now in a fucking hospital room, Tony barely 50ft away outside.

It’s the anger and hurt that makes her ask, “And if I’m not?”

“Then I can’t stay there by myself anymore.” His answer is immediate and Darcy actually drops back to sitting on the edge of the bed. 

“Get out.” She says quietly and his eyes widen into panic.

“Darce —” He breathes it out, taking a half step towards her, stopping when she physically recoils, “Darcy, please.” His voice is pleading and there’s a look on his face she’s never seen before but she’s too deep in the mess that’s been made of her carefully organized coping mechanisms.There’s nothing left for her to close up or put away.It’s just all out there where she has to look at it and she just...can’t.

“Get out!” It’s a full scream this time and Clint holds up his hands, helpless in the face of her rage. 

“You heard her Barton.” Tony’s voice is like ice from the doorway and Clint spins to face her father.“Get out.”

“Darce?” Clint looks back at her but Darcy turns away.She just needs to get home.She needs to bury herself under her covers and figure out what’s left of her life.What’s real.“I’ll let you know what’s going on if I can.The usual signals.” Clint says softly and then he pushes past Tony to leave the room.

“You okay kiddo?” Tony sounds cautious, “Could hear the yelling at the nurse’s station.”

“Fine.” She snaps, “When can we leave?”

“Now.” Tony says, “Come on.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Summary of kidnapping part of chapter: Darcy wakes up a few times before finally waking up in a cell with zero light. She is very scared by the unknown in the dark room. She tries to explore and finds no way to escape. Her captors kick her a few times causing damage to her ribs. After what she thinks is several days she’s taken from the cell, forced to clean up and her hair is buzzed off to make it more convenient to keep her long term. 
> 
> I really hope the way this chapter was handled worked for everyone who needed the consideration and did not disrupt those who didn’t too much. I really hope you all are still enjoying this story, I know continuing to post it has been a great distraction from real life for me. 
> 
> Thank you for reading, commenting, leaving kudos and generally being amazing. If you have thoughts on how things are going I’d love to hear from you — it really makes my day and makes all the time spent on this worth it. ❤️


	14. Clint Interlude 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint thinks about the fight with Darcy and what to do next.

Clint can’t decide if he’s furious, heartbroken, or just defeated.Probably a good mix of all three. He stows his bow case in the cargo netting of the jet before throwing himself into a free jump seat.He does not want to be on this mission.He’s without Nat, it’s in Eastern Europe and he’s only worked with one member of this team before.On top of all of that he’s going in distracted and it just puts everyone else at risk.

“You ready to go Hawkeye?” Christine Samuels asks from the other side of the aisle.Clint gives the blond a half smile.Christine is the one member of the team he’s worked with before. She’s a good agent although a little too chipper for his current mood.

“As I’ll ever be.” He agrees dryly.

Christine rolls her eyes, “I doubt that, I saw your picture in the paper a few weeks ago.That news about Tony Stark having a daughter was crazy but then she went missing.That must have been stressful.” 

She’s clearly waiting for an answer but Clint can’t bring himself to comment so he just grunts in agreement.

“Okay then!” Christine says brightly, “Have you met the rest of the team?”

“No.” Clint says and drops his eyes down to his feet.It’s been a long time since he was this taciturn on an op but it’s not entirely out of character. 

“It’s an eight hour flight.Strap in.” Clint looks to up to eye the dark haired man standing in the door to the cockpit.“Barton.” The man says with a nod before turning back to take his seat. 

Clint straps himself in, scans the other three agents on the jet, and after a moment of consideration reaches up to take out the small in-ear hearing aids he wears when he’s working.He just needs to think and he’d rather not participate in eight hours of small talk with new people.He wishes Nat were here to play good cop to his angsty bad cop but she’d taken some need to know bullshit mission with Steve. 

When he closes his eyes he can still see Darcy’s face twisted in hurt and anger.She was too thin after the time in captivity, with her hollowed out cheeks and short hair, her eyes had beenalmost unnaturally large in her face.He shouldn’t have pushed her.He shouldn’t have said any of those things.He should have just kissed her and told her he’d stay.He could have if he’d really wanted to but he’d let his frustration get the best of him. He’d leaned into his need to force the issue and he regrets it already.

The last few weeks were some of the most emotionally draining of his life and he really feels like that’s saying something.He doesn’t want to think about the time when Darcy was missing.The panic, the hopelessness, the fear, the anger.He lets out a slow breath as the plane takes off under his feet.He needs to get his head on straight if he’s going to be any use on this op but he’s not sure he’s able.

He thought he’d lost her. 

Clint is a professional, he’s killed people for money and his country, he’s tortured, he’s kidnapped, tracked, and intimidated.He looked around Darcy’s office the day after her disappearance, saw the blood and the damage, made eye contact with Nat, they knew exactly what the odds were of his girl coming home alive and they weren’t good. 

Tony never lost hope though.Clint won’t admit it to him but Tony’s endless hope that Darcy was going to be found and found alive was a lifesaver.Tony laughed off the blood on the floor as proof she’d put up a fight.He’d run the city’s CCTV footage through Jarvis,been a bulldog with all the government agencies assisting in the search, chased Fury around demanding updates on everything SHIELD was doing to help.Given Tony’s tendency for self destruction his tenacity was unexpected and incredibly needed.He kept hope alive.

By comparison Clint was useless.An expert marksman with nothing to aim at.

Then Nat got the tip.Some dark contact gave her a first location, that led to a second, and suddenly they knew where Darcy was and Clint let tentative hope bloom in his chest.The fight with Tony over who would go into the building to retrieve their girl was nasty and settled by Steve.Clint tries not to think about the fact that he’d only won because the team thought he’d be more likely to keep his cool if turned out they were retrieving a body instead of a living Darcy. 

The actual rescue had been unsettling.The facility empty of all combatants and wired to blow.Whoever was behind the abduction knew they were coming and set it all up as a trap rather than protect what they’d taken.None of it sat right with Clint and he knows Nat agrees but it’s a problem for another day.Right now, even after the fight he’s just relieved they got his girl back. 

He will never forget how it felt to find her alive, the way she’d clung to him, the sound of her voice begging him to be real, the panic when he realized she couldn’t breathe on the jet. 

God, and then the time in the hospital.Tony’s fury finally revealed after ten days of him keeping it contained and focused.Clint found himself on the outside looking in with no rights, no news, no place in Darcy’s life.Pepper took pity on him and gave him updates when she could get away and for everything else Clint borrowed Darcy’s chart whenever the nurses looked away. He’d had to push down his frustration over not being officially anything to the woman who was his everything.

He knows that’s not the reality though.There’s so much more to it.

A hand on his shoulder rips him out of his thoughts and his eyes snap open to find another unknown team mate leaning over him.He watches the man’s mouth move and manages to pick up that they want to run through the plans really quick before they lose the comms.He nods and puts in his hearing aids to play nice. 

“... easy in and out op really.The Hawk will stay on the far roof but Farrow will be taking care of the wet work. Samuels is our honey pot.”Clint forces his brain to focus on the dark haired man who is speaking, Agent Killburn.They’ve run into each other in the SHIELD gym before although never spoken. 

“Close kill instead of long distance?” Clint asks a little confused about the plan.He might be biased but he’s never understood not using the long shot when you can.

“We’re only taking the target out if the intel we get indicates we need to.” Christine explains and Clint nods.Fair enough. 

“The need to know info for everyone’s individual assignments can be found in these.” Killburn interjects and starts to hand out very familiar envelopes.Clint takes his and rolls his shoulders.He hates missions like this where no one knows the entire plan.Fury loves this shit but it creates so many opportunities for things to go wrong. 

“Do we know where we’re planning to make first contact?” Christine asks still holding her unopened envelope.

“The church.” A dark skinned agent says and Clint is pretty sure his name is Charles Farrow.

“The safe house is nearby for retreat in case we need it.” The final man says and then turning to Clint, “Henry Thomas, we’ve never met.”

“Barton.” Clint barks back without offering his hand.He has no doubt he’ll get a lecture from Nat about being an asshole which is rich coming from her considering the way she behaved her first few years with the agency. 

“We should probably take some time to read our individual orders and rest up.We lose comms in,” Killburn checks his watch before he continues, “fifteen minutes.We’ll be on blackout for all six days.”

The rest of the team drifts off to their separate corners of the plane after that and Clintleans back in his chair.He hates comms blackouts.He’s always only obeyed them as far as he absolutely has to, following Nat’s lead on having back up plans that keep him connected via at least one dark channel.He rips into the envelope with his own need to know orders and finds a familiar list of requirements for a kill shot, all the things he needs to pay attention to during the op.

He drops the list back to his lap and wishes he was anywhere but here.That’s not true, he wishes he was back in the hospital standing in front of Darcy.He wishes he’d never issued that stupid ultimatum.He’s never pushed her before, never asked for more than she was willing to give.He’s never needed more.He still doesn’t but fear and frustration are potent emotions and he is chock full of both.

_The woman you love._

That’s what she’d said to him.The woman you love.She was, she is, she continues to be the woman he loves.He loves her sense of humor, her laugh, her sarcasm, her generosity, her self sacrifice, her eyes, her smile, her warmth and that’s just the simple list.It leaves out the way she makes him feel, her strength, and the way her face looks when he does something she thinks is stupid but secretly finds hilarious.

It isn’t love that’s the problem.He doesn’t think love will ever be the problem.The problem is he almost lost her.She almost died and while the doctors were rushing towards them to take her into surgery he’d been pushed out of the way like he was nothing.Like he hasn’t spent two years loving her, carefully worming his way deeper into her life, building something that’s so brutally real it hurts.The fear of losing her made him hold on that much tighter, he should have recognized that same panic on Darcy’s face. 

Nat told him it was there.The night of the gala after his favorite Russian pounded him into the mats she told him all about late night phone calls from Darcy.Told him about listening to his girl cry into the phone when he was away on missions early in their relationship thinking he’d never come home.Texts on nights after Loki when he’d leave with no promises to come back and a darkness hanging over him.Neither of them has made trust easy on the other.

When he gets scared of losing something he holds on tighter.When Darcy gets scared she protects herself by pushing away.She’d done it to Tony four years ago and now she’s done it to him. 

Clint lets out another slow breath and stares around the plane.Christine appears to be trying to nap sitting up, Killburn is back in the cockpit, and the other two have their heads together in the back of the cargo area looking at a laptop.He should make them take him back to New York, he’s going to be a liability to them all with this hanging over his head. 

He doesn’t have mental boxes like Darcy.He can push things away when he needs to but he can’t lock it down completely the way she does.He drops his head back and stares up at the curved ceiling of the plane.He knows, _he knows_ Darcy.If he’d stopped to think for even a minute he would have fought to just stay home for once. To prevent adding his potential death on a mission to the list of things she was shoving away.

His beautiful strong breakable girl, beat to shit by an enemy they still can’t name, suddenly scared of the dark, with a whole host of new nightmare fodder and he’d marched in to tell her he was leaving.Running off to find himself a gunshot she’d said.She wasn’t exactly wrong.For all that Darcy’s been a bit of a disaster these last few months Clint definitely owes her one.More than one.

Dozens of missions, stretches of time with no contact, not to mention his moods post op.Darcy’s cute little post op routine, the sex, the pizza, the caretaking.It’s all born out of one too many adrenaline driven PTSD snaps. Her need to take care of him actualized into a set of careful steps designed to reduce the likelihood that he’ll break one way or another.

Over a year later, Clint can still feel shame flood him when he recalls her face three weeks after the Chithari invasion when he’d gotten so angry at the world he couldn’t see straight.They’d been together in that apartment for weeks while he tried to figure out how to fix himself and he’d just hit a wall of frustration he couldn’t overcome. He’d taken it out on her, a dinner plate thrown at the wall, splattering whatever it is she’d made everywhere, and she’d just stood there with wide eyes and a gentle voice trying to comfort him.He’d left, driven out into the desert for hours.When he got back Darcy was in bed, the mess was cleaned up, and there was a new plate of food waiting for him in the oven.

She’d never brought it up again.She’d never brought up his nightmares either.Or the time he’d been so deep in a flashback he’d drawn a gun in bed.Or the time the mission went sideways and he’d had to play the honey pot, kissed the mark, feeling guilty enough to admit it the minute he’d gotten back. Darcy just asked him if it was for a good reason, listened while he’d explained all the lives the intel would save, and took him to bed.Really, she’d just been shoving it all in her little boxes and kept on talking to him, touching him, letting him deeper into her life, caring for him.He loves her for that too.

Clint knows it’s not normal, maybe not entirely healthy.He also knows it’s how they make it work.They admit to the big stuff, forget the little stuff, forgive each other for it all, and keep leaning on each other.He’ll admit he’s done most of the leaning in the past, relying on Darcy for emotional support through everything from Loki to Barney’s return.Darcy for her part hasn’t leaned on him much beyond the occasional concern over Tony but she has been these last few months whether she realizes it or not. 

God, they’re both so terrible at this stuff.He can get through this op and then he’ll go home and they’ll figure it out. 

His phone beeps to let him know he’s officially lost service for the duration.He double checks his back up system and when he finds it online he scans the plane one more time before closing his eyes.Six days and he’ll go home and they’ll have a grown up talk about it.Six days and it’ll all be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was angsty! I’m sorry!! I do hope this one showed a little more of the other side of things though. I know a lot of people were not thrilled with Darcy after the last chapter, fingers crossed you guys are still with me on this. 
> 
> I love hearing from you all, good or bad. Makes it worth all the time spent on this story. It is complete already so bear with me! 
> 
> Thank you!


	15. Memory Games

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The agents from the hospital come back with more questions, Darcy wallows over her fight with Clint, and Kate Bishop shows up with all the sass.

Moping.That’s what Darcy has been doing for the last two days, moping.She didn’t argue when Tony led her up to the penthouse instead of her apartment on their arrival from the hospital.She just crawled under the soft covers on the bed, ignored the fact that the room was clearly decorated specifically for her, and went to sleep.

Now it’s been two days and she hasn’t left the room.Tony has brought her sad little offerings of food, first her favorite takeout and then terribly made omelettes, the only thing he can reliably cook.She thanks him for all of it but doesn’t really eat much of anything.She’s too busy moping.Or maybe she’s wallowing.She feels wallowing would be more appropriate if she was only upset about the fight with Clint but she’s also struggling through what has to be some PTSD and memory confusion. If she’s honest though, Clint is the more painful problem.

It’s the morning of day three back in the tower and she’s still curled up in the covers on her comfy bed replaying the fight in the hospital room in her head. She’d been mad, furious at the way he’d spoken to her, his refusal to see things from her perspective, his desire to drag it all up at the worst possible time.Her anger faded to grief and then fear with the realization that she’d pushed him away in rash anger.After the first bad nightmare where he’d died with a bullet in the chest she’d woken with his name on her lips, gasping for air, barely managing to demand Jarvis turn the lights on through panicked breaths.She’d laid there for a long time feeling the weight of what she’d done bearing down on her.

Now, in the bright morning light a day later, she’s just exhausted.It’s been years since she was without the comfort of Clint at the back of her mind.Even when she was pushing his absence into a box he was still there.A warm heavy presence that promised safety and laughter if only she could wait until the next visit and now that she doesn’t know where they stand, now that she’s told him to ‘get out’ she is very aware of how reliant on that presence she’s become.She feels more than a little off kilter without it. 

The constant replay of the hospital fight isn’t helping.She can still see the look on his face when she closes her eyes.The pain and disbelief in his eyes when she’d implied she didn’t love him. All lies.She’s a terrible liar but she seems to have managed this time and now he’s off on some unknown, probably dangerous, mission thinking she doesn’t care for him and she’s moping.She’s an epic bitch.

If he gets hurt she’ll never forgive herself. She reaches up to rub a hand through her short hair.There’s a way she could contact him, reach out and apologize even though he’s away but it could distract him and it’s not worth the risk.She’d rather he come home hating her than not come home at all.The world without Clint Barton is unimaginable to Darcy.

The shiver of fear that runs through her body at the thought is unwelcome but not unexpected.Darcy feels like her whole life has been nothing but avoiding fear for the last few years.Maybe it’s time to start facing some of those fears and with Clint out of reach there’s only one thing left to do.

She needs to get up and figure out what really happened the night she was kidnapped despite the fact that all she wants to do is press her face into her pillow and pretend it’s Clint’s chest. 

With a low groan she rolls over and off the bed.It hurts more than she expected to suddenly be upright but she pushes through.A quick shower in the attached bath being careful of her stitches and she feels more awake.She’s not surprised to find clothes in the bedroom’s dresser drawers, all of them new and all of them her favorite brands and sizes.She pulls on new yoga pants and a loose sweater before heading downstairs. 

The penthouse is empty but Darcy isn’t too surprised. Tony mentioned heading to his workshop when he stopped by with yet another omelette that morning.She considers her options while waiting for a cup of coffee in the open kitchen.It’s time to go down to the R&D floor and look at her office.

She picks up the coffee, steps into a pair of sneakers by the door, and takes the elevator down to R&D. It’s not until the she gets to the floor and finds it deserted that she realizes it’s Sunday, all the better for her snooping although not her nerves.The quiet is unsettling and Darcy hates herself for the way her heart picks up as she walks down the familiar dim hallway.This is her workplace and her home, she won’t be scared.

Her closed office door looks the same aside from the red notice pasted in the middle that declares it part of an active investigation.She ignores the warning and presses her palm to the access panel waiting for the soft beep of the door unlocking, she can always remove the entry from Jarvis’ records later.The sight that greets her when she pushes the door open is a shock. 

The room is wrecked.Her desk is pushed out of alignment and sits caddy corner to the door.The chair is tipped over and the floor is covered in papers and folders.She crouches down to look at some of the paperwork and recognizes the contents of a file that usually lived in her locked filing cabinet.The cabinet that’s still upright and closed.She pushes up and goes around the back of the desk, crouching down again to look closer.

Here’s the blood Jane mentioned, dried down to a dark rust color. There’s a small pool of it and a number of scattered drops all marked off with little yellow evidence tents.She reaches up to touch the side of her head as though she can pull the knowledge of where the blood came from out with her fingers.They must have used a syringe, she doesn’t remember bleeding this much after the fight in the lab and she wouldn’t have noticed a needle mark in that dark cell.They’ve even left behind a few long threads of her hair tacked to the corner of desk with dark blood to make the scene more realistic.

Darcy presses the heels of her hands against her eyes and takes a deep breath.It doesn’t matter.It doesn’t matter how real it looks.It doesn’t matter — she knows what happened.Being here has cemented that even more fully for her.Nothing about this is right.Even so, the need to prove it before saying something weighs heavily on her.She’s not sure she can take more sympathetic looks and talk of trauma victims. 

“Jarvis?” Her voice sounds breathless even to herself and Darcy braces for the possibility that the AI won’t respond. 

“Yes Darcy.” Jarvis’ cool tone fills the office.

“Do you have footage of my kidnapping?” Might as well try with the most direct question.

“I’m afraid recording was prevented by your privacy protocols.” Jarvis replies and Darcy leans back on her heels.That makes no sense. Her updates to the code didn’t prevent recording, it just prevented Tony from being able to snoop without need.

“Do you have footage of me from any time in this office?” Darcy asks trying to sort through how to figure out deep any infiltration might go. “Jarvis?” She finally asks after the silence has stretched a bit too long.

“I’m sorry.” The AI finally says, “I’m having trouble sorting through competing protocols.”It’s a very concerning answer. 

“Do you have the footage?” She presses.

“It does exist.” Jarvis agrees. 

“But you couldn’t record me that night?” She asks.

“I’m afraid not.” Jarvis agrees, “I’m not sure how to explain it.” He finishes and Darcy lets out a slow breath.She remembers the worm she found on the server the night she was taken.If she’d let it into the system then it’s very possible it could be used to infect and influence Jarvis but it would take someone very very good to do it.She doesn’t like the implications.

“Stand up slowly, hands in front.” The voice from the door pulls a startled shriek from Darcy and she jumps up, her hands pushed in front of her defensively.“Ms. Lewis?” 

Agents Carey and Wright are both standing in the door to the office with guns drawn.“Could you—“ Darcy gestures at the guns and both agents holster the weapons. 

“All clear.” Agent Wright speaks into a mic in his shirt cuff and Darcy leans heavily against the edge of the desk. “Ms. Lewis this is a restricted area.”

“This is my office.” The answer comes out on instinct.

“Yes,” Agent Wright agrees, “and also an active crime scene.”

Darcy presses a hand against her chest.She’s still breathing hard but she’s feeling more annoyed than scared. “What are you both doing here?” Darcy finally asks, trying to mimic Pepper’s calm CEO disdain. 

“There’s a silent alarm on the door.” Agent Carey says as she steps deeper into the room.“While we’re here though we did have a few follow up questions for you. If you don’t mind.”

Darcy does mind. The last time she met with these two they left her thinking she was crazy. She knows she’s not. “I’m not sure I have time.I came down here to pick up some files.” Darcy is lying through her teeth and she can tell they know it. 

“Just a few more questions about where you were held and what you saw.We think we might have a lead on the group responsible.” Agent Carey is clearly going for caring and sympathetic.Darcy isn’t buying. 

“You said they mostly kept you in the cell but they did bring you out to clean you up and cut your hair.Last time you mentioned that you may have seen a symbol on one of their uniforms.”Agent Wright starts and Darcy leans into the desk just a little bit more. “We were hoping you could look at a few pictures with us and see if you could recognize the symbol.” 

“If you’d like to email them to me I can take a look.” Darcy tries to push it off.There is almost nothing she wants to do less than try and remember those moments in that tile room with any more clarity.

“I’m afraid we keep the images at base.If you’d come with us now we can have you back before dinner.” Agent wright replies smooth as butter and Darcy feels an instinct kick up as the hair on the back of her neck stands on end. 

“I’m afraid I don’t have the time today.” Darcy says and her hands come down to brace on the desk’s surface.There’s no way in hell she’s leaving the tower with these two. 

“We wouldn’t keep you more than an hour or two.” Agent Wright says and he’s starting to look impatient.

“We know it must be hard Darcy.” Agent Carey says in the same soft voice from before and it puts Darcy’s hackles up the rest of the way. “It’s always hard after an event like this to readjust.I can’t imagine how you’re dealing with it all after so many days in the dark. It must have been terrifying.”

Darcy feels her blood go cold.She’d never told them about the dark. She hadn’t been able to tell anyone about the dark yet.“I’m afraid I don’t know what you mean.” She says with as much steadiness as she can muster. “If you want to send me the pictures I’d be happy to look at them and get back to you today. I need to go back upstairs now, I told my dad I was only going to be gone for a few minutes.” 

There’s uncertainty on their faces and Darcy can see Agent Wright make a small movement but Agent Carey speaks before he can complete the move, “We can do that. Thank you Ms. Lewis.”

Darcy steps back from the desk still careful to keep the big piece of furniture between them.“Should I have Jarvis help you find your way back to the lobby?” She pours as much entitled heiress into the question as she can.

“We know the way.” Agent Wright says and it wouldn’t take a body language expert to read the annoyance on his frame.“We do need to re-secure the scene.” He gives a meaningful look around the office and Darcy thinks fast. 

“After you.” It’s the only thing she can think of but both agents take the bait and back out of the room.Darcy steps around the desk and follows them into the hall.She presses her back into the wall opposite her office door while Agent Wright relocks everything to his satisfaction.

The walk to the elevators is a test in false calm. Darcy keeps her breathing even and her steps light.She’s careful to walk so she’s just a half step behind the two agents. When they reach the bank of metal doors there’s a tense moment when no one wants to press a button first. Darcy’s muscles are already tensing to make a run for the stairs when there’s a sudden ding and she jumps as the doors to the higher level elevator open to reveal Tony.

“There you are.” He steps up to the threshold of the elevator car and holds out a hand to Darcy. “You were supposed to be back half an hour ago.”His eyes are tense but his smile is fixed in place. 

“Sorry daddy.” Darcy uses the endearment lightly and no one but Tony would ever know she hasn’t called him that outside a life or death moment since she was eight years old.“Agents Wright and Carey showed up with more questions.” She takes his hand and lets him pull her into the elevator.

“Agents.” Tony gives them a stiff nod.“I remember telling Fury if I saw another SHIELD agent in my building I would make his life a living hell.”

“Apologies Mr. Stark.The message must not have made it down to us yet.”Agent Wright’s voice is tight and his eyes are narrowed. 

“Get the fuck out.” Tony snaps, “J make sure they find their way.” 

“Immediately Sir.” Jarvis replies and Darcy tucks herself just a little bit behind Tony. 

They stay like that, with the door to their elevator open until another opens for the agents and they step inside.Then Tony waves a hand at the ceiling, the doors slide closed, and Darcy practically collapses against Tony’s side.

“How did you know?” She lets out the words on a breath and her hands are shaking so she presses them against her stomach to try and still them. 

“Jarvis triggered an alert when your heart rate elevated. I rewrote your stupid code.” Tony says harshly but the arm he drapes around her is solid and comforting.“What the fuck is going on kiddo?”

“Wait until we’re —“ Darcy pauses, where could they go if Jarvis is compromised, “we need privacy. From everyone.” She adds with a meaningful look at the ceiling, “Treehouse protocols.” 

“Been a long time since we’ve needed that.” Tony comments softly and his fingers clench against her shoulder. 

The Treehouse was an old protocol. Something Tony developed when Darcy wanted to tell him secrets not even Jarvis was supposed to know.It started when she was 9 and she’d gotten in a school yard fight. Darcy had dragged Tony up into her old treehouse to try and keep her secrets as private as possible. Tony had taken the idea and run with with it until they had tech that made even old school eavesdropping impossible.They’d used it again at 14 when her period started while Pepper was on a business trip and again when she’d been dumped by her first love at 16. 

Darcy’s surprised when Tony leads her to the penthouse instead of his workshop but she is helpless to do anything but follow. They end up in the small office space just outside his and Pepper’s bedroom suite and Tony sits her down in a plush arm chair before pulling it’s twin up so they’re sitting almost knee to knee.He uses a screen on the table next to them to type a few commands and Darcy feels her ears hollow out as the anti eavesdropping function goes into effect. 

“What’s going on Darce?”

He’s watching her expectantly and Darcy licks her lips feeling anxiety bubble up in her chest.She knows what she remembers is real now but the uncertainty is still there in the back of her mind. Alongside all the guilt and anxiety over the idea that her actions and snooping set it motion.Not to mention what it could technically mean if Jarvis is compromised and SHIELD is playing dirty. 

“The official story of what happened the night I was kidnapped and the real one are not the same.” She finally says, watching his face closely for any sign of disbelief. 

Instead Tony just nods once and leans forward to take her hand, “Tell me what happened kiddo.I’m here.” 

So she starts at the beginning.The very beginning, talking quickly through her early confusion over the Section 41 paperwork and then explaining the context behind her blow up with Dr. White.When she gets to the part about working late, the decision to hack SHIELD, and the offline server in the secret lab room Tony interrupts and picks up his phone.Ten minutes later, Thor, Jane, and Pepper have arrived and pulled up chairs so they’re within the eavesdropping protocols.After a short disruption during which Jane demands to know how the protocol works but no one wants to explain Tony prompts Darcy to start again. 

So she does. 

They make it all the way back to the hacking of SHIELD in the server room before Jane interrupts again, this time furious over the news that her research was being stolen.Thor quiets her and Darcy continues.The next interruption is Tony and it’s less verbal and more a violent jerk of his body when Darcy calmly relates how they’d beaten and drugged her in his own building. 

Then she gets to the dark and Darcy can’t stop the tremors that run through her hands as she explains the cell, the pitch black, the violent kicks to wake her up, then the tile room, the hose down, and cutting her hair. Finally, to the rescue, then the hospital interview with Wright and Carey.Darcy ignores the indignant noise Tony makes when she explains her fear that no one would believe her and forges ahead through the story of today and the way Agent Carey knew about the dark but shouldn’t have.By the time she’s done Pepper has an arm firmly wrapped around her shoulders while Tony and Thor look murderous.Jane is leaning back in her chair chewing on the ends of her hair, a clear sign of distress. 

“So that’s all of it.” Darcy finishes lamely before leaning heavily into Pepper’s familiar weight at her side. 

“We need to lock it down.” Tony’s been alternating between anxious pacing and a fidgety perch on the edge of his chair while she talked but now he’s on his feet again and looking manic.“We need to lock it all down.Who knows what they’re in to.Who knows who we can trust.”

“We need to call Captain Rogers and Natasha.” Thor adds, his usually calm voice deadly serious.

“I don’t understand how SHIELD could be so deep in S.I.” Jane says around the hair still caught in her mouth, “Or is it not SHIELD that’s been running the Section 41 project?”

“That’s the thing,” Pepper chimes in, “Stark Industries doesn’t have any research agreements with SHIELD.We have contracts in place to share some tech for the Avengers Initiative but on my paperwork Section 41 is just the name of one of Dr. White’s projects.” That gets Darcy’s attention.

“What?” She almost snaps her neck turning to look at Pepper. “It’s not even a SHIELD project? What about the liaison?”

“I don’t know.” Pepper admits, “I’m concerned they were able to use our network not to mention Jarvis to provide you with false paper trails and emails but we don’t have any ongoing projects with SHIELD which means that lab you found could be anything.”

“I’m sure it’s nothing now.” Darcy says softly, leaning forward to press her face to her knees.“If whoever it was can stage a kidnapping in my office they can certainly scrub that room.” 

“It has to technically exist.” Tony snaps, “The room is there and obviously Dr. White is in on this which makes sense the moody old fuck.”

“We don’t know if he knew what was going on.” Pepper says with a level head but Darcy is far more inclined to agree with Tony.Dr. White is a dick and snake. 

“Dr. White is a dick.” Jane pipes up and Darcy blindly holds up a hand for a high five.Even when the world is a nightmare her platonic life mate has her back.

“I have to agree.” Thor says with all the seriousness of a royal decree and Darcy snorts.

“I’m glad you find this amusing.” Tony says and Darcy throws him a dirty look, “Those agents who were here today are 100% SHIELD which means at best SHIELD has a rat and at the worst the whole thing is rotten.Not to mention Jarvis is clearly compromised.” That sobers Darcy right up. 

“If Jarvis is compromised we need to play this carefully.” Pepper speaks up again and Darcy just knows her eyes are probably spearing Tony.“He runs everything and we can’t rely on the tower’s defenses until we’ve sorted it out.”

“The tower has defenses?” Jane sounds both interested and confused.Darcy can relate.

“Of course it does. The Avengers live here. I live here. My daughter lives here.” Tony says and his pacing has picked up.“Okay okay.Here’s the plan I am going to fix Jarvis, Thor is going to stand guard over Darcy and Jane, Pepper is going to call Cap and Natasha, and—“

“And Clint.” Darcy interjects. “If something is going on with SHIELD I’m going to contact Clint.”

“Isn’t he on an op?” Jane asks finally abandoning her hair. “Can you contact him?”

“We have a system set up.” Darcy says but it comes out more like a question.A few days ago she would have been sure she could get him in an emergency even on a comms blackout but now she’s not sure.The anxiety she’d felt that morning over the idea of contacting him rears up again. Would he have trashed the protocols after the hospital? Would reaching out put him more at risk? She shakes her head, “I can contact him.” She has to.

“Fine.” Tony snaps. “Darcy will contact Clint and we will all do those other things and in the meantime we will lock it-“

“Act normally.” Pepper interrupts and Tony stops dead to stare at her open mouthed.

“Act normally?” We think SHIELD or something related to them tried to kill my—our daughter and you want to act normally?” Tony throws his hands up in the air and starts muttering about red heads being the death of him.

“There are too many things we don’t know to go into full panic.” Pepper says ignoring his ranting. “We need more information and until we have it we can’t let anyone know that we suspect.We have no idea who the bad guys are here.” 

Darcy feels her stomach cramp.This is all so much bigger than she thought and so much more dangerous than she wanted.Space elves and giant robots at least have the decency to attack you to your face.This subversion is almost cruel in it’s secrecy and she spares a thought for how impressive it is Clint and Natasha do this for a living.Darcy is glad she normally gets to live on the outside of it. 

“Fine.” Tony finally agrees.

“At least our normal is a mess.” Darcy finally says before leaning on Pepper again. 

“Is it normal to order dim sum?” Thor asks and it rips a dark laugh from Darcy.

“Oh my god big guy.” She gets out, “Yes. Let’s get takeout. I mean clearly we’re headed into worldwide emergency number 7 billion but I could for sure eat like a dozen dumplings.”

“Well at least you’ve got your appetite back.” Tony says and then he taps a few buttons and everyone makes a face as their ears pop from the collapse of the air shield.“I’m going to start on Jarvis and make some calls,” Tony says, “ping me when the food gets here.” 

“Come on,” Jane says as she jumps up and holds out a hand to Darcy, “I figured out how to calibrate the machines to measure the disruptions from the planetary fields.” It’s not a topic Darcy is excited about but it is normal so she takes Jane’s hand anyways and lets herself be led out into the main floor of the penthouse. 

It takes more effort than it used to but Darcy manages to get her nerves under control and focus on only the present for the next few hours.They order food, Tony shows up to eat and bitch about no one answering their phones and the complexity of Jarvis’ code then leaves again, Pepper eventually goes back to her office to dig through files.Thors listens patiently while Jane scours her records for signs of SHIELD interference and Darcy tries to figure out how to get into Clint’s secure network remotely.

It only keeps them occupied for so long, after about 45 minutes Jane starts to talk science and Darcy just leans back into the couch to let the sound wash over her.Getting in touch with Clint is proving complicated without leaving the tower.Almost all of their contingency plans depend on getting to his Bed Stuy apartment or reaching out to Kate.They hadn’t updated anything since Darcy moved to New York to make things easier and she hasn’t gotten a new phone since the kidnapping.She needs to reach him though, if SHIELD is rotten and he’s out on an op she has to warn him.

Her thoughts are interrupted by the first conflict between the plan and acting normally as Thor refuses to let Jane leave the penthouse to go to her lab.“I’m sorry Jane but Tony is right, it is safer to be cautious and the lab floor is not safe.”

“That’s why you’d come with me.” Jane’s voice is a whine and Darcy just leans further back into the soft cushions of the couch. She can feel the panic starting to inch back in leaving her stretched thin and overwhelmed.

“I can’t go with you and watch out for Darcy unless she comes too.”

“Which I’m not.” Darcy pipes up, closing her eyes.

“Which she’s not.” Thor repeats.

“But I need to double check the readings on the —“

“Turn on the TV.” Pepper’s shout snaps Darcy’s eyes open as she watches the CEO rush into the room looking as close to frazzled as Darcy’s ever seen her.

“It’s already on.” Jane says dismissively before turning back to Thor, “Maybe Darcy could go visit Tony in his workshop and then you could come with me.”

“Shut up.” Pepper’s snap is enough to pull Jane out of her impending science tantrum. “Look.” Pepper is pointing at the television now tuned to a breaking news report out of DC.Darcy feels her throat clench up as she reads the scrolling ticker on the bottom of the screen. 

“What the fuck.” Jane mutters and Darcy couldn’t agree more. 

“Where’s Tony?” Pepper asks her voice high.

“His workshop.” Darcy says and she’s already on her feet when the man in question comes barreling into the room.

“Turn on the — ah.” Tony skids to a stop in the middle of the room.“Can we lock it down yet? Is this enough to fucking lock it the fuck down?”

Pepper doesn’t reply, just sinks down on to the couch as they all watch recorded footage of the attack on Fury’s SUV in the middle of Washington DC followed almost immediately by the helicopter footage of Steve, Natasha, and another man being taken into SHIELD custody.Distantly Darcy can hear Jane and Thor staring to argue about what to do next with the occasional interjection from Tony but she doesn’t have any brain power left for it. 

Natasha once told her loyalties can flip on a dime and once an agent is burned it can mean sudden death if they’re not prepared to go it alone.If SHIELD can turn on Captain America and the Black Widow what does it mean for everyone else? Suddenly all Darcy can think about is Clint’s body mangled by an explosion, bleeding and full of bullets, his face as he falls from the roof in all her nightmares.The fear is overwhelming in it’s unexpected arrival, it locks up her entire body until there’s nothing else left.

“Darcy breathe.” Pepper’s voice comes from much closer than it had been before and Darcy sucks in a deep shuddering gasp at the command.“That’s it, just breathe.”

“Here’s some water.” Thor’s big hand is holding out a glass but Darcy can’t feel her own hands to lift them and take it. 

“Janie,” Darcy gasps out, “gotta call Kate Bishop.” The time for figuring things out carefully is gone.

“Yep.” Jane agrees without argument, already picking up her phone.

“Who?” Tony is suddenly kneeling in front of her and Darcy feels his familiar hands cool on her sweaty face. “Just take a breath kiddo.It’s going to be okay.I’ve got you.”

Darcy sucks in a deep breath and focuses on Tony.She knows he’s got her.She’s not worried about herself, not yet.“I know,” she finally says out loud, leaning into his touch, “I’m not worried about me.” 

“Voicemail.” Jane says.

“Try her again.” Darcy wheezes out, “I don’t have a phone.Why didn’t I think to get a new phone when we got back here?” 

“Can someone explain.” Tony shouts to the room at large and Darcy feels Pepper put a reassuring hand on her back. 

Darcy can feel her hands again and it’s a good thing because Jane is suddenly shoving a phone at her. 

“Hello?” Kate sounds confused.

“Kate, where are you?” Darcy cuts right to the chase even as Tony rocks back onto his heels looking exasperated. 

“Do you know who this is?” Tony asks Thor and Darcy throws a hand up to silence the big alien Prince before he can reply.

“Darcy?” Kate sounds confused, “Who’s number is this?Is this your new number?I was so happy to hear you were rescued. Hush Lucky.” Kate rushes it all out in one breath and the familiar cadence does more to calm Darcy than anything else. 

“This is Jane’s number. I don’t have a phone right now.”Darcy replies, “Look Kate, can you pack up some stuff for yourself and Lucky in the next fifteen minutes?Iron Man is going to come get you guys and bring you here. You need to bring the computer from the safe too.”

“Iron Man? Computer from the safe? — sure.” Kate sounds intrigued but Darcy can already hear the rustle of movement over the phone. “Is Clint okay?”

Darcy swallows, “I don’t know honestly, but something is going on and you should be here.Lucky too.”

Kate inhales, “Is this a code black?” She sounds way too excited. 

“Is that the one where everything is probably about to go to shit but we don’t know how badly yet?” Darcy asks ignoring Tony’s incredulous look. 

“No, I think that’s a code orange? Clint’s terrible at color codes so who knows.” Kate says but she sounds unsure.“So Iron Man in ten ish minutes?”

“Yes.” Darcy agrees and she kicks at Tony a bit to get him to back up. “See you soon Katie-Kate.” Darcy says and then hangs up.

“I’m going to get a girl and a — Lucky?” Tony asks.

“Kate Bishop is Hawkeye and Lucky is a fine canine.” Thor adds helpfully.

“Clint is Hawkeye.” Tony says with a frown.

“So is Kate.” Darcy says, “She and Lucky are Clint’s family and you’re going to go get them and bring them here. For me.” She adds to make sure Tony doesn’t argue too much.

“Fine,” Tony gets to his feet, “but when I get back we’re locking it down.Pep, call the lawyers for Cap and the Widow. This dog better not chew up my shoes.”

Less than an hour later Tony returns with a very wind blown Kate and a very scared Lucky just in time for Pepper to figure out how to feed everyone.They eat a fast quiet dinner while Tony and Pepper are introduced to Kate.It’s a reminder that sarcasm is not a one man show for Tony and despite everything Darcy enjoys watching them quip moodily at each other.It’s the first time since this mess started that she feels maybe she should have let these parts of her life collide much sooner. 

“Your dad is a dick.” Kate says as soon as they’re alone in the living room.Jane and Thor have gone back to their apartment for what Darcy can only assume is some crazy-shit-is-happening-sex, Pepper is working in her home office to figure out how to handle staff for S.I. tomorrow, and Tony fled back to his workshop to finish scouring Jarvis’ code and probably start preparing his arsenal. 

“I know.” Darcy agrees easily, “But I still love him. It’s like biologically ingrained.It’s terrible.”

“His suit is cool.” Kate says before taking a vicious bite of a Twizzler. “Do you think he’d make me one that would still let me shoot the bow?”

“I’m sure he’d love to try.” Darcy is barely present in the conversation.She’d only just managed to make it through dinner before demanding Kate hand over the slick black computer from Clint’s bedroom safe.She’s been working her way through command lines for the last fifteen minutes to get the secure connection set up.

“Do you think I could pull off hair as short as yours?” That gets Darcy’s attention and she looks up to find Kate studying herself in the dark glass of the floor to ceiling windows with her hair pulled back tight to her skull.

“Why would you want to?” Darcy hates her shorn hair.She’s been avoiding mirrors like it’s her job since she woke up in the hospital.She has no illusions about how terrible it looks.

“You look bad ass.” Kate says, turning to look at her, “I mean I understand the circumstances suck but damn girl.You can pull off a buzz cut.” Kate drops her own dark locks and levels Darcy with a firm stare. “Are you going to be okay?”

Darcy likes that she asks it that way.Not are you okay now but will you be as though it’s understood that right now Darcy is so far from okay it’s a distant speck on the horizon.“I don’t know but I think so.” She finally answers. “Yes,” she amends, “about the kidnapping yes.About everything else I’m not sure.”

“What everything else?” Kate asks and then she makes a face, “Oh did you and Clint do something dumb? He’s been working himself up to something epically fucking stupid since that gala. He told me about it you know, dropping the big L.He’s an idiot though.You two have been in love for like ever.No one needed to say it to make it real. I bet you froze when he said it though right?” Kate flops back deeper into her chair.“I really hope whatever is brewing doesn’t blow up New York again, they just reopened the Ulta near my house and I really like how convenient it is to get concealer.”

Darcy snorts, “Need a lot of concealer Hawkeye?” 

“Have you seen some of the bullshit Clint gets us into.I’m constantly covered in bruises and this face does not carry a black eye well.”Kate waves a dismissive hand. 

“Been in love for like ever huh?” Darcy finally asks keeping her eyes carefully glued to the latest string of code on the computer. 

“Come on Darcy.” Kate says and her voice is dripping in teenage condescension.“Do you know how many people know that safe is in his bedroom?” Kate pauses and when it becomes clear Darcy isn’t going to reply she answers herself, “Just you. I didn’t know it was there until you mentioned it on the phone. I bet Natasha doesn’t know because she never deigns to visit Bed Stuy.”

“What?!” That does get Darcy’s attention. “Then how did you get the computer?”

“Just because I didn’t know it was there doesn’t mean I couldn’t find and crack it once I was made aware.” Kate snips and Darcy rolls her eyes. Fucking super heroes.

“Of course.” She agrees snidely.“That doesn’t prove anything. It doesn’t matter anymore anyways.We had a fight, it was my fault and I told him to leave.” She finally says and she hates how small her voice is. 

“True but if I know Clint he probably said something stupid or shouted some kind of ultimatum at you, right?” Darcy does her best not to react to the scarily accurate guess, “Fine,” Kate continues, “let’s assume he did something Clinty and dumb.Then you probably did your run away rather than get hurt thing right? Except when faced with the calm before the shit storm the first thing you did was send someone you trust to pick up his dog and his...me and the super secret way to contact him that you two set up.” If her tone is anything to go by Kate seems to think this is undeniable proof. 

“That’s just being a good person.” Darcy counters, she doesn’t need anymore proof at this point.She just needs Clint to come home in one piece so she can fix this. “I just want him to be okay.”

“Whatever.” Kate says and Darcy has no idea how the nineteen year old fits so much attitude into a single word.“I’m not going to sit here all night failing the Bechdel test with you to prove you’re in love. You are. Deal with it.”

“What do you know you’re twelve.” It’s said around a small smile and it’s a terrible comeback but Darcy is tired.She doesn’t need to be told she’s in love with Clint, she knows she’s in love with Clint.It’s saying it out loud that’s historically been the problem. 

“Uh huh. I’m a very old twelve and I’ve seen the way you look at him when you think he’s not paying attention.He’s not the only one with good eyesight.” Kate Bishop is a fucking menace who should not be allowed around other people. 

“Fine, you want to do something not related to men?” Darcy asks.

“Yes! I was a private detective in California you know.” Kate has all the arrogance of someone who rarely fails.

“Start digging into this,” Darcy holds out the printed files Tony dropped off before running off to his workshop, “we’re trying to find anything related to SHIELD that doesn’t seem to officially line up and we can’t use Jarvis right now.” 

“Do I get to use highlighters?” Kate asks as she snatches the file away.

“Did you bring highlighters?” Darcy asks already turning back to the computer screen.

“No.”

“Then no.”

“Being kidnapped kind of turned you into a bitch Darce.”

“Tell me about it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We’re in the final stretch here.   
> Thank you to everyone who’s been reading, commenting, leaving kudos, and generally being amazing and supportive. 
> 
> I really love hearing from you all so if you have time to leave a comment and let me know what you think it would mean a lot! 
> 
> Until next time!


	16. Iron Tower Protocol

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy learns she hasn’t lost her courage, there’s a betrayal, and their enemy gets a name.

It really is the ‘calm before the shit storm’ as Kate put it. The real problem is they don’t know when the worst of the storm is actually going to strike.They still prepare.

Pepper fakes a server issue that shuts down the company email and phones and closes the tower to S.I. employees. Tony manages to clean Jarvis’ code and he updates a lot of security protocols but there’s nothing to reveal who planted the nefarious code in what he finds.Just unmarked surveillance strings of the kind any alphabet agency would use.He’s furious about it.

Tony is also furious that he can’t find anything about Nat, Steve, or the now identified Sam Wilson.Darcy has no doubt they’re all still alive.Mostly because she’s not sure how to exist in a world where they’re not but she can feel Tony and Thor’s frustration over not knowing for sure and it puts her even more on edge. 

Darcy gets off a warning to Clint using the code he’d taught her. Just one line, “Be careful. SHIELD possibly compromised”.It takes her and Kate 45 minutes to agree on the wording. There’s a moment right before she sends it when Darcy considers tacking “Love you” on the end of the message but she stops herself.With her luck he’d probably think it was a sign the channel itself had been compromised and ignore the message.The thought plagues her right up until she falls asleep on the couch pretending to watch bad movies with Kate, Lucky pressed tight against her side. 

Monday morning dawns early and Darcy can taste the tension in the air as the Avengers and company remaining in the tower converge in the penthouse for breakfast. Only Thor seems jovial as they pass cream cheese for their bagels.Darcy is pleased to see Tony gathered up the rest of the troops while she slept fitfully on the couch as Happy and Bruce join them, both up to speed on the current status. 

It’s going to be the worst kind of day, Darcy can just tell.The death of Nick Fury and the wild shootout on a DC street is all that’s on the news.Darcy spends the time after breakfast chatting with Kate while browsing every dark web site she knows trying to force more information to make itself known to her.Tony has Jarvis doing the same but it’s going to be a little while before Darcy can trust the AI completely again.She wants time to look at his code herself and today is not the day.She also obsessively checks the message boards where she posted her coded warning for Clint but so far there’s no response. 

It’s 9am when the first alert arrives in the form of a buried news article on Twitter found by Kate.“Someone broke into the Smithsonian last night.” The younger Hawkeye pipes up from her perch in the living room. 

“The adults are working.” Tony quips from his spot next to Darcy on the couch and he’s not fast enough to dodge a sharp elbow from his daughter.

“Be nice.” Darcy chides. “What’d they steal Kate?”

“The thief made off with a vintage Captain America uniform.” Kate reads out and the room goes still.

“He wouldn’t.” Tony breathes. 

“He definitely would.” Bruce disagrees. 

“Oh my god he would.” Tony agrees. “We have to lock it down Pep. Now. I’m done playing around.” 

“Tony, I have suspended all New York operations, closed the retail sections of the tower, and this penthouse currently contains everyone we love who’s in the city along with probably more weaponry than the Pentagon. What more do you want me to do?” Pepper asks looking up from her tablet.

“Iron Tower Protocol.” Tony breathes and Darcy has a feeling she won’t like Iron Tower Protocol.

“I told you we weren’t doing that.” Pepper says and she has a dangerous edge to her voice. “When you proposed that during reconstruction I said no and you agreed.”

“What is Iron Tower Protocol?” Thor asks and Tony looks thrilled.

“Glad you asked Point Break. After your psycho brother tried to kill us all, no offense,” Tony tacks on and Thor just nods, “but after Loki, I realized the tower itself needed more defenses so I wanted to build a suit of armor around the tower—“

“And I pointed out that it would be impractical and insane.” Pepper interrupts.

“Luckily for us I only listen sometimes.” Tony

“Never Tony.” Pepper snaps, “You never listen.Please tell me you did not build roll down iron sheeting over every window on this building.” 

“I mean you’ve asked me before not to lie to you.” Tony hedges and Darcy can tell from the set of his shoulders he’s going to dig his heels in on this. 

“We should sneak out now.” Darcy stage whispers to Kate.

“I’m going to my lab.” Jane is already standing and looking at Thor expectantly, “There’s no one else here, I have data collating I need to check on, and apparently there’s going to be iron curtains soon. Until something explodes I’m getting some work done.”

“I’ll go with her.” Thor stands and Darcy expects nothing less.For a moment she considers going with them but she pushes the idea away.She’s far too tense to be on the lab floor right now.Too many bad memories for a day like today. 

“I just don’t understand why you would think—“ Pepper is still going with Tony in the background.

“Can we sneak off to your room?” Kate asks quietly and Darcy nods.

Jane and Thor peel away first heading for the elevators.Tony and Pepper are deep enough in the fight that even Thor’s bulk moving through the room doesn’t disrupt their flow.Darcy and Kate wait until they’re gone before making a move although Darcy does pause by Happy on her way out, “You should go check in with the security team.Tony will be too focused on this to do it anytime soon.” She nods towards Pepper and Tony as she speaks, waiting for Happy to rise before moving on.Bruce appears to be meditating with his eyes open so Darcy leaves him be. 

In her room Kate goes straight for the backpack she’d arrived with the night before and starts pulling things out of it.Darcy drops onto the bed and waits for Lucky to settle against her hip. 

“What are you—“ Darcy stops speaking when Kate turns around holding her collapsible bow and two hand guns.

“Do you want the glock or the Beretta.The Beretta will kick less but the glock is going to stop whoever you hit with a single shot.” Kate is looking back and forth between Darcy and the guns as though trying to solve and equation.“I think you should take the glock.” She holds out the larger of the two guns. 

“What the fuck Kate.” Darcy just stares at the gun until Kate lets out a big sigh and sets all her weapons down on the chair by the bed.

“Clint taught you to shoot right? I know he did, I was there for one of the lessons.” Kate sounds much older than her years and Darcy is suddenly very aware of how not super she is.

“Yes. He taught me to shoot.” Darcy agrees, “Doesn’t mean I need to carry a gun around. I’ve got my taser around here somewhere.”

“Look,” Kate starts, “I know we don’t talk about this part of the job often but if the people who went after Fury and everyone else come here they aren’t going to shoot to maim.You shouldn’t either and Clint would — I would never forgive myself if I didn’t make sure you had a weapon.” 

“I’m tired.” Darcy says softly.

“You can take a nap. I’m sure someone attacking will wake you up.” Kate sounds a little confused but agreeable. 

“No,” Darcy tries again, “I mean I’m tired of all of this.I’ve been watching the people I love rush into danger for years, fuck I’ve rushed into danger too, but now after all this, I’m just tired.I just want—“ Darcy trails off.What she really wants feels too delicate and distant to talk about. 

“Okay.I get that.” Kate agrees somberly. “But you don’t get to be tired today.Today you have to put on your big girl panties, deal with what’s going on and be a badass.” She pauses and then, “You probably don’t get to be tired tomorrow either but I promise you can be soon.”

It’s a terrible inspirational speech from a girl who should be too young to have to give one but that’s what gets to Darcy.Kate’s right of course, she doesn’t get to be tired right now. It doesn’t matter that her stitches are still pulling, that her rib is still broken, that she feels cracked and scared and just wants to hide — they need to get shit done. 

“I want the Beretta.I can’t handle the kick back on the glock right now.”

“Excellent.” Kate agrees and her smile is wicked. “I’ll dig out the holster and extra mags.You should probably carry it until we know what’s going on.”

Darcy has just gotten the piece settled in the small of her back when the lights flicker and then go out.It doesn’t drop the room into complete darkness because of the large tinted windows but it’s close enough that Darcy feels panic start to edge at her vision. 

“Talk about timing.” Kate quips from the other side of the room and Darcy sucks in a deep breath.

“Darcy! Kiddo!” Tony’s voice is far too loud and tinny and Darcy is still processing when the door flies open to reveal Iron Man in full armor. “Thank god, we gotta move.”

Tony is waving them out of the room and Darcy watches Kate pick up her bow and quiver as they’re herded with Lucky into the hallway. 

“What’s going on?” Darcy asks still following Tony towards Pepper’s home office.

“Someone has breached the lower levels without clearance.” Tony says without turning around.“I’m getting you two to the safe room and then —“

He’s cut off by a blast Darcy more feels than hears.The floor shudders beneath their feet and she reaches out an arm to steady herself against the closest wall. 

“Fuck.” Tony is muttering to himself in the suit, “Shut it down J. Now!” Something must not go right because there’s another blast and Darcy shrieks as the sound of shattering glass fills the penthouse.So much for Iron Tower Protocol Darcy thinks.

“Go!” Kate is pushing at Tony’s shoulder, already standing over Darcy’s crouched form, bow fully extended.“I’ll get her to the safe room, you have to go.” 

As though to back up Kate’s urgency the high pitched sound of propeller blades fills the air through the now missing living room windows.Darcy looks up to see Tony’s expressionless Iron Man mask staring down at her. 

“Love you.” She says and waves a hand.

“Love you too kiddo.Go straight to the panic room. Pepper is already there.” And then he’s gone in a whine of repulsors. 

“Where’s the panic room?” Kate asks and she’s really more Hawkeye than Kate at this point.

“Across the living room in Pep’s office.” Darcy says realizing the distance between them and the door will put them directly in the line of fire of anything hovering outside those now blasted out windows. She has to hope Tony is providing a distraction.

“Okay.” Kate says and Darcy can see her doing more equations in her head, “Let’s move.Stay low.”

They’re halfway across the living room using the couches for cover when Darcy catches a flash of red out of the corner of her eye.It’s shocking enough that she stands all the way up just in time to see Thor swing his hammer and bring down a flash of lightning into a hovering helicopter.Darcy can hear the roar of the hulk in the distance.If Thor’s out there who’s with Jane in the labs?

Darcy scrambles the last 30 feet across the room ignoring Kate’s annoyed shout behind her.She’s moving so quickly her body slams into the wall next to the panic room door and her damaged ribs twinge.She types in the code for the communications access panel with shaking fingers. 

“Pepper!”

“Darcy? Thank god, hold on I’ll open the door—“ Pepper sounds relieved and Darcy feels bad for what’s probably about to happen.

“Pepper is Jane in there with you?” Darcy asks through the comm. 

“No? She went with Thor to the labs.I’m sure he’s got her—“ but Darcy doesn’t listen to the rest, she’s already moving away from the door towards the back of the penthouse. 

“Darcy where are you going?” Kate is jogging to keep up. 

“If Thor is out there with Tony and the Hulk it means Jane is alone on the lab floor.” Darcy says already slamming her palm onto the elevator buttons. “Lucky hide.” She commands and watches the lab hunker off to find a safe spot. She’ll have to apologize to Clint for claiming that was a dumb thing to teach a dog when this is over.

“So?” Kate asks also watching Lucky go, “There’s safe rooms on every floor right?”

“Yes, but if Jane’s research is in danger there’s no way she stayed in one.Even if Thor put her there.” Darcy taps at the elevator button again and then gives up turning for the door to the stairs.

“So we’re going to get her? Save her?” Kate is still following.

“Of course we are.” Darcy snaps and starts down the ten flights it’ll take to get to R&D. 

The power is out on the R&D floor too which explains the elevator.A full tower outage means someone interfered with the arc reactor cables that come all the way in from the Atlantic. It means someone put real effort into what’s going on here. 

When they push through the stairwell door the red emergency lights are on and they make the hallway look particularly ominous.Of course, the trail of blood doesn’t help either. 

“Is that?” Kate stops short at the sight of the red smears.“Fuck.”

“Shh.” Darcy hushes her and peers down the hall in the direction the blood leads.“Panic room is through the staff kitchen.” She points to the door three down where the blood trail leads. Kate nods and motions to her back, Darcy agrees and pulls the Beretta from it’s holster with shaking hands. 

They move as quietly as possible down the hall and Darcy is grateful she’s still in yoga pants although she’s never wished for a bra more in her life.The blood gets thicker as they get closer to the door and Kate stops them short before the entrance motioning to Darcy to let her check.Darcy holds the gun pointed down and waits.

“Clear —ish?” Kate calls softly and Darcy ducks into the room to find Kate leaning over someone in a lab coat.For a second the panic is overwhelming as Darcy imagines Jane’s face on the body and then Kate shifts and the pale, blood streaked face of Dr. White is revealed.

“Dr. White?” Darcy drops down next to the man her eyes scanning his torso.There’s blood soaking his chest and stomach, more than one bullet wound Darcy would bet.“What happened? Where’s Jane?”

“Gone.” Dr. White’s voice is wispy.Darcy looks up at Kate who is keeping a steady eye on the door to the kitchen.

“The panic room door is open, room is empty, he’s the only one here.” Kate confirms without looking away from their weak point at the door so Darcy turns back to what is clearly a dying man.

“Where’s Jane?” She asks again and he opens his mouth a few times before he finds his voice.

“Told me I’d make a difference.Was just trying to help.”He sounds weak and despite her rage for the man’s involvement in whatever is going on Darcy puts her gun down to rip at his shirt to try and save him.He gives a wet gasp as she moves but getting the sticky cloth off his chest just reveals three leaking bullet holes carefully spaced on his torso.There’s nothing she can do for him at this point.

“Who told you?” She asks trying to keep her voice even.

“Hydra.” He breathes out the word and Darcy scrunches up her face.It’s not what she expected. She has no idea what he’s talking about.

“Who’s Hydra? Where’s Jane.” He’s starting to look dangerously pale and if he dies before she knows where Jane is they may never find her.

“He took her.” Dr. White says and his fingers twitch as though he’s going to point, “They need her for the bridge.They told me I’d be helping to save the world, I tried to stop when I realized bu—“ He drops off and Darcy reaches out to grab his hand.

“It’s okay Jim.” She says softly.“You did help. It’s okay.”She’s lying through her teeth but the way his eyes close and his face relaxes makes Darcy think they’re also mercy. 

“Garage,” he gasps out, “Helicopter gone but he had plans.”

“Who had plans?” She demands but his mouth opens and closes soundlessly and it’s clear he’s done as much as he can.“Thank you.” She finally says and there’s a part of her that wants to wait with him until he’s gone, truly gone. No one should die alone even if they are a dick but they have to move.If someone has Jane and is headed for the garage.“We have to go.” She says to Kate as she pushes to her feet, gun in hand, and the archer nods. “If we find someone to help we can send them back up for him.”

“He’s gone.” Kate says softly staring behind her and Darcy turns to look at the now completely still man hunched on the floor. 

“He deserved better than that.” Darcy says and even after everything she means it but she’s already moving back towards the hallway.“Jarvis?” It’s a long shot with the power down but the AI is supposed to run emergency services off the generators so there’s a chance. 

“Yes Darcy.” The familiar accent fills the hall.

“Do you have any security function operational?” They’ve reached the hall and Kate is trailing her looking wary with an arrow still nocked.

“I have limited capacity and there are still several active —“ There’s a pause as another blast shakes the building and Kate’s hand catches in Darcy’s sweater to keep her upright. “Bomb threats in progress.” 

“Can you power an elevator to the garage?” Darcy asks.

There’s a long pause, “Yes.” The AI replies.

“Who else has been on this floor today?” Darcy asks as they stop in front of the elevators waiting for the doors to open. 

“Aside from Prince Odinson and Dr. Jane Foster, Dr. Jim White and Dr. Ben Mathers also scanned onto the floor this morning.” Darcy stumbles again, this time not from a blast.

“What is it?” Kate asks stepping into the elevator beside her.

“Is Dr. Ben Mathers still in the building?” Darcy asks instead of answering Kate.

There’s another pause, “Unknown.” Jarvis says and Darcy lets out a slow breath.

“What?” Kate asks again, this time more urgently. 

“I don’t know.” Darcy admits but her brain is running at a million miles a minute.“We’re either going to walk into a double hostage situation or maybe not?” She can feel pieces slotting into place and fear pools in her gut.

“Okay.” Kate says calmly and her eyes are scanning the elevator.“Here’s what we’re going to do.” 

Two point three minutes later when the doors to the elevator open on the garage floor Darcy is alone in the car.The parking garage is underground and as a result it’s almost pitch black with only the red emergency lights to guide her.She takes a stuttering breath and carefully steps out of the elevator fighting the urge to panic as the doors close, shutting off the last of the golden light. 

She keeps the gun drawn and held down at her side, safety off, as she pads forward on near silent feet in the red tinted dark.She’s 10 feet into the garage trying hard to keep her breathing even and look around cautiously when another booming explosion rattles the ceiling.Darcy looks up as cement dust rains down and she adds crushed by a building to the list of fears she’s forcing herself to ignore. 

She’s about to take another careful step forward when there’s a scuffing noise to her left and she swings the gun up and turns to find nothing.“Jane?”It’s a soft call in the dark and Darcy doesn’t expect it to be answered except there’s a another scuffle from somewhere behind her and she spins as a grunt echoes into the space. Darcy tries to get her heart rate under control and walks towards the sounds.

“Darc—“ Jane’s voice is like a shot from the dark and Darcy spins again feeling completely out of sorts in the dim light.She’s peering through the red glare and then she sees the shadows, two pairs of feet against dim red light under the wheels of the nearest car. 

“I can see you and I’m armed.Come out.” Darcy is proud when she sounds ten times braver than she feels. 

There’s more shuffling and the silhouetted feet start to move until two shapes emerge from behind the car and Darcy feels her blood turn to ice.She’d still held out hope she’d been wrong but there’s no denying Ben Mathers is currently pressing the barrel of a gun to a very pissed off Jane’s head.

“Let her go.” Darcy demands and she knows she needs to try and drag this out.There is a plan but it’s going to take a little time.

“I can’t do that Darcy. I really wish I could.”Ben’s voice is the same calm caring tone he’s used with her a hundred times and it makes Darcy nauseous.“You weren’t supposed to be here though and I certainly didn’t think you’d follow us down here into the dark.”His smile, however, is pure evil.

“I’m not sure why you’d think a little dark would bother me.” Darcy says and she forces herself to keep her eyes on Ben, the gun steady.If she looks at Jane she’ll start to shake.“Why are you doing this Ben?”

“To make a better world.” He says simply and Darcy hates him for how sure he sounds.“I didn’t intend for you to get hurt but you just kept digging and Dr. White couldn’t keep you off the trail any longer. We didn’t plan to take you or kill you if that helps but you got in too deep and we needed to buy some time until we figured out how best to use you.”He shrugs and Darcy watches the barrel of his gun rise and fall against Jane’s temple with the movement.

“Darcy —“ Jane starts and is cut off by a shake from Ben.

“Did you shoot Dr. White?” Darcy asks trying not to look at Jane as she adjusts her grip on her own gun praying to any gods around to hear that Kate is following the plan. 

“He grew a conscience. There’s no room for that when we have a better world to construct.”Ben is clearly a fucking psychopath and Darcy feels for poor Jim White, dead upstairs. He may have been a dick but he’d clearly been used. 

“Who do you work for?Is it Hydra like Dr. White?” Darcy just needs to keep him talking. 

“Ah, you’ll learn soon enough.It wasn’t supposed to happen today but mistakes were made and I had to show my hand.It’s okay though because Dr. Foster here will be a tremendous asset for us.”He’s starting to lose his calm tone, his voice verging on manic and Darcy can feel the situation escalating.“You though,” he says as the arm he has around Jane shifts, “you we’ve determined we don’t need anymore.”

Three things happen simultaneously.Ben suddenly turns his gun in Darcy’s direction, there’s another blast from outside, closer than before and cement dust rains down causing Darcy to duck her head, and there’s the soft twang of a bow string from the dark. 

When Darcy looks back up there’s an arrow buried deep in Ben Mathers’ throat. 

“Jane!” Darcy rushes forward on shaking legs to pull the tiny astrophysicist out of Ben’s grasp.He’s still alive, blinking slowly, his mouth opening and closing as though trying to make sense of the arrow but Darcy can’t bring herself to care.Instead she gets her hands on Jane and pulls her friend clear, taking two giant steps back as Kate appears as though from shadow.

“Everyone okay?” Hawkeye asks but Darcy just watches Ben finally collapse to his knees and fall forward.Kate steps up to kick the gun from his loose hold before taking her own step back. 

“Is he dead?” Jane asks and Darcy tightens the arm around her shoulders.

“Probably?” Kate says. “I hate checking—“ She looks back at them and Darcy rolls her eyes.

“Seriously?” 

“I don’t like it.” Kate whines and Darcy groans.

“Take Jane.” She pushes the tiny woman towards the archer ignoring Jane’s indignant shriek of, “I’m not an object.”

Walking towards a probably dead Ben Mathers with a gun in her hand is one of the most darkly surreal moments of Darcy’s life which is really saying something.She does it though, summoning every ounce of courage she has left, she’s half crouched down to try and roll him over when there’s a roar and light floods the garage.

Darcy scrambles away from both the massive hole now blown in the side of the garage and the body.Her heart is hammering in her chest and she looks up to see Kate with another arrow nocked in her bow, Jane crouching low at her feet. 

“Stand down Hawkeye Kate Bishop.” Thor’s booming voice comes from the light and Darcy can finally see him silhouetted against the opening, the large shape of the Hulk just behind him.Kate drops the bow into a relaxed hold.

“Thor!” Jane is already moving towards her man and Darcy pushes herself to a slow stand.Her ribs are going to make her regret everything very soon.

“Can I be tired yet?” She asks Kate and the brunette just shrugs.

“Probably?” There’s another blast from outside and Tony appears in the now larger opening, still hovering, the suit a little banged up, “Then again, probably not.” Kate claps a hand on her shoulder so hard Darcy almost topples over. 

“Fuck it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you’re all well and enjoyed the update! 
> 
> Chapter count upped because I got a little inspired and wrote an epilogue. 
> 
> A big shout out to those who called the Ben betrayal early. I think Argentee and Cruicatius Foreplay definitely called him out in the comments early on. You guys are too good 😊
> 
> I love hearing from you all so if you liked it or if you didn’t let me know. 
> 
> Coming up next, we find out where the hell Clint is!


	17. Homecoming Redux

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clean up post the battle at the tower starts, Darcy gets some girl time, and our favorite archer gets found.

Everything moves fast after that.Ben Mathers is confirmed dead by arrow to the throat.Jane is taken to medical by a very concerned Thor to have her bumps and scrapes looked at.Darcy is hugged by an absolutely unyielding Iron Man suit and then ushered up stairs by Happy where she is hugged again by a much softer Pepper Potts.Kate is hugged by everyone.Tea is made and drunk.Tony arrives looking sweaty with a tired looking Bruce in tow, pants still in tact.Luck gets all the pets.

The real fallout though isn’t actually at the tower, even though there is fallout at the tower (Dr. White at the very least).No, the real fallout is in DC and they all gather around the TV to watch three massive helicarriers drop into the Potomac on replay.They are watching the footage on a loop for the second time, Darcy desperately hoping and not hoping she’ll catch site of Clint when there is a soft ping over head.

“Sir, if I may,” Jarvis interrupts, “there’s been a hit on several of your Google alerts.” 

“Which ones?” Tony doesn’t look away from the television as he asks.

There’s a long pause, “All of them.” Jarvis replies and Darcy actually looks up at the ceiling in confusion.

“All of them?” Tony asks but Darcy is already pulling the closest laptop towards her and starting up a secure browser.

Everything moves even faster after that.Darcy learns what Hydra really is and it makes the entire day ten times scarier than it had been in real time.She sets Jarvis to downloading every new record that’s flooding the internet and when the living room connection can’t handle it all she follows Tony up to his workshop to use the hard lines. 

Pepper leaves for DC before it’s even dark to try and sort out what happened to Steve and Nat and to offer S.I. support where she can.Jane sleeps off her painkillers with Thor standing guard and Kate demonstrates her supreme value by ordering everyone’s favorite pizzas without needing to ask for topping preferences. 

By midnight Darcy feels like she’s been awake for a week, she’s sitting next to Tony on the floor of the lab looking at hundreds of floating holo files direct from the SHIELD, now Hydra, database. 

“These are just the ones Jarvis marked priority.” Tony says softly. 

“I know.” Darcy agrees.She can’t take her eyes off the one labeled Barton, Clinton Frances floating directly in front of her face.She’d read more of it than she should have when pulling it down from the massive data leak. 

“There are at least three dozen agents here with actively blown covers in imminent danger.” Tony says.

“I know.” Darcy agrees again. 

“He’ll be okay.” Tony’s hand comes down on her shoulder with the words and Darcy turns to look at her father with tears in her eyes. 

“You don’t know that. He’s apparently in Eastern Europe with no back up and now 100% exposed. We don’t even know if his team were the good guys.”Darcy hears her voice crack on the words but she can’t bring herself to hide it.There’s nothing left in her for boxing up emotions.She’s wrung out. 

“We’ll get him back.” Tony sounds so sure it breaks her heart just a little more and Darcy pitches forward to press her face into his chest.He smells terrible, he still hasn’t showered. 

“It was Hydra.” She whispers because now she’s read her own secret file and she can put a name to the group that put her through hell. Now she knows that they managed to take her almost by accident, she’d just set off an alarm in the lab that night and when they realized who she was they kept her alive as possible leverage.It’s so meaningless, all that pain for nothing more than a hope she’d be useful later. If Nat hadn’t gotten that tip she would have stayed in that cell for a long long time.

“I know.” Tony agrees and his arms tighten around her.“We’ll fix it kiddo. I promise.” 

It takes two days for anything new to happen. Two days and two almost completely sleepless nights.Darcy doesn’t spend the time idle, instead she helps Tony continue to scan the internet for files.They pull down and purge what they can, alter what they can’t.They send anonymous tips out to those who have been outed or put at risk and help law enforcement track down those who shouldn’t be at large. 

Pepper reopens the tower to S.I. employees on the second day but they keep the R&D floor closed.Dr. White’s body was removed that first afternoon by Happy’s security team but there’s still clean up to finish and some remodeling to remove the memory of blood from those halls.Darcy doesn’t care.She’s pretty sure she’ll never go back to that job.She’s not sure she could if she wanted to.She’s barely hanging on as it is.

It’s the end of day two and Darcy is sitting out on one of the many balconies around the penthouse smoking.She’s never been a regular smoker but when she was in college the occasional cigarette calmed her down.She’d bummed this one off one of Happy’s faceless security detail in the hopes that it would have a similar effect.So far she thinks the cold wind whipping over the open balcony is having more of an impact than the nicotine. 

“Does he know you smoke?” Natasha’s voice comes out of the shadows near the door and Darcy jumps so high she drops the cig. 

She turns to glare at the red headed spy.“Yes.” Darcy lies just to be petulant.Clint would pitch a fit if he knew. 

“We’ll see.” Natasha says and she steps all the way into Darcy’s pool of light to settle on the chaise lounge next to her. 

“You look like shit. You were good on CSPAN though.” Darcy says as she leans into the Russian assassin’s warmth.There is no one else on earth Darcy feels she can share this with.No one else who will really understand how desperately sad the world will be if Clint Barton doesn’t come home. 

“I’ve had a rough few days.” Natasha agrees and she ducks down to pick up the still burning smoke before taking a drag and passing it back.“I’m the one that did it.” 

It’s an unnecessary confession.Darcy already knew, she’d seen Nat’s finger prints all over the released files on the web.“I know.” She says softly, “Was it for a good reason at least?”

“It saved millions of people.” Nat says and she drops her head onto Darcy’s shoulder.“He’s still alive.”

“How do you know?” It’s the question Darcy’s been asking herself for two days.Every time she looks at the slick black computer from Clint’s apartment and still sees no response from him.

“I know.” Nat’s voice is the definition of conviction.

Darcy takes a last drag on the cig, “You don’t know anything.” She breathes the words out with the smoke and flicks away the butt.“We killed him you and I. Me when I told him to get out and you when you released those files.” 

“We didn’t.” Natasha says softly.“I’m going to go get him and bring him home to you младшая сестра.” 

“What if they got to him first?” Darcy can feel the panic she’s barely managed to keep at bay bubbling up in her throat, “What if he’s dead and the last thing I said to him was get out.”The last two words come out on a sob and Nat pulls her in close, strong arms sliding around Darcy’s shoulders until she’s cradled there. 

“I’m going to bring him home for you,” Natasha repeats over Darcy’s labored breathing, “and he’s going to be so proud of what you did here the other day.Then you’re going to help each other heal and live happily ever after in love.” 

“I thought love was for children?” Darcy sniffles out Nat’s favorite I’m a stoic Russian line and the redhead snorts. 

“So is Captain Crunch and you two eat enough of that.You can stand a little love I think.” Darcy laughs at the joke and pulls back.

“He asked for more, you know.” Darcy says softly and she feels guilt over the way she handled things in the hospital pool heavy in her stomach.“You said he wouldn’t but he needed me to say it and I couldn’t, not right then.Not when he was about to leave and I’d just barely gotten back alive.”

“I know младшая сестра,”Natasha agrees, “he’s an idiot sometimes but he’s our idiot so I’m going to go find him and you’re going to stay here and eat.”Darcy makes a face, “Tony told me you won’t eat, you won’t talk to anyone, you just keep working on the files.”

“He’s one to talk.” Darcy whisper shouts as though Tony will be able to hear her through the thick glass of the windows. “He’s barely slept.” 

“Have you?” Natasha asks.

“I’m fine.” Darcy snaps, leaning back further.

“That answers that question at least.” Nat sounds smug.She’s the fucking worst when she’s smug. The redhead stands with a grace Darcy will always be jealous of. “I’ll contact you the usual ways.I’m not bringing him home to your ghost though so go eat a fucking Pop Tart.”And with that parting shot she glides away as quietly as she arrived. 

“Are you still alive?” Jane’s voice rings out from the balcony door.

“I think so.” Darcy calls back trying to wipe at her eyes quickly before Jane can make it over to the lounge chair.

“I didn’t want to come out while Natasha was still here but dinner just arrived.” Jane sits on the chair and Darcy gives her a careful once over.They haven’t talked a lot since the immediate aftermath of the parking garage. Jane has been staying close to Thor.It’s understandable considering how much he’s been babying her, treating her like she’s spun glass.

“I’m not hun—“ Darcy starts to say on instinct and then stops, “I guess I could eat.” She admits and Jane smiles big. 

“You need to eat.” Jane agrees and Darcy rolls her eyes. 

“You need to eat.” She says back and Jane pushes at her shoulder playfully. “How are you holding up Janie?”

“I’m... going to be okay.” Jane says thoughtfully. “I mean it’s not the most intense emergency we’ve ever lived through although maybe the most personal. I still can’t believe Ben was a bad guy.” 

“I know right?!” Darcy says throwing herself back against the lounge chair.

“I mean he took you to the gala. Do you think he liked you or was it part of his evil plan?” Jane settles in next to her until they’re both looking up at a blank night sky.The city really is bad for stargazing.

“I doesn’t really matter anymore.” Darcy says quietly. 

“No,” Jane agrees, “I don’t suppose it does.Did Nat have any news on Clint?”

Darcy turns her face until it’s pressed into Jane’s bony shoulder.“Just that she’s going to go get him for me.”

“That’s good.” Jane says, “If anyone can find him and bring him home it’s the Black Widow.” 

“I told her I think we got him killed.” Darcy admits softly.

“Oh Darce.” Jane whispers and then rolls over to put an arm around her shoulders, pulling Darcy into her tiny chest.

“I never told him Janie.” Darcy burrows her face into the soft flannel of Jane’s shirt. 

“He knows,” Jane says, “and the realistic odds of him surviving are very high.He’s incredibly skilled and he’s made it through much worse than a few double agents. You just have to wait it out and trust Nat to find him.” 

“Waiting it out is easier said than done.” Darcy points out, “Remember the year we had to wait for Thor to come back?” 

“Yes,” Jane says, “but I think your wait will be shorter and you’ve gotten to fuck yours before we he went missing.” 

Darcy lets out a loud bark of laughter, “Jesus Janie. Yeah, I guess I did.Not sure it really impacts his odds of return though. Just means I know what I’m missing.” She finishes sadly.

“Also means you know what will happen when he gets back.” Jane points out and then rolls back over onto her back. “Do you think Tony could find a way to let us see stars even in the city?” 

“Wouldn’t hurt to ask.” Darcy says softly. “What if he comes back and he doesn’t love me anymore Janie?”It’s a fear Darcy almost doesn’t want to put into words.

“Not possible.” Jane says and she sounds so confident Darcy can’t do anything except believe her. 

~0~

The next few days are an effort in trying to keep busy.It’s not hard considering how much there is to do. 

Pepper comes home from DC with an alive but still banged up Steve Rogers and the newly acquired Sam Wilson in tow.Darcy makes sure they both have apartments in the tower before their arrival and makes sure the fridges are stocked and the furniture is all put together.

She gets Kate and Lucky back to Bed Stuy, this time via car and with a security detail personally vetted by Happy willing to keep an eye out just in case.Kate bristles at the added security (don’t you know I’m Hawkeye!) but settles down when Darcy reminds her she’s not the only one living in the building.A nineteen year old can’t protect all Clint’s tenants on her own no matter how feisty. 

Jane is antsy to get back into a lab although she admits she’s not sure she wants her old lab.So Darcy spends almost an entire day coordinating the move of all the equipment from the current R&D floor to an empty space across from Tony’s workshop.It’ll be better in the long run anyways since Jane and Bruce seem to have bonded even further over recent events and Bruce is basically sciencing out of Tony’s workshop these days.

When she’s not working on meals, email, or PR for the Avengers or Pepper, Darcy spends her time online.Several very robust communities of white hat hackers have sprung up in the wake of the SHIELD file dump and they’re taking requests to find and remove files from the net for those who have been negatively impacted.The goal is to remove the files of the innocents, the people who have a dossier because they witnessed a crime or were distantly connected and really don’t need their personal life available to anyone with the ability to Google.It’s heartbreaking work but it keeps her busy and it makes her feel useful. 

She’s hiding in Tony’s workshop, deep in the process of tracking down any and all details about a single mother who was dating a man wanted by SHIELD for weapons trafficking when a soft ding cuts through her music. 

“Dad can you turn off the coffee maker?” She calls without looking up. 

“I’m kind of in the middle of something kiddo.”

Darcy glances up to find Tony shoulders deep in one of of his fabrication machines.He’d recently decided the future was nano tech and he’s been trying to alter his Iron Man design to make the suit completely out of nanites.It’s based on files they pulled from Ben’s lab and while Darcy can appreciate it’s brilliance she’s wary of it for several reasons. 

“You’re going to lose an arm to one of those things someday.” She says as she sets her computer aside and pulls herself up.

“Nope.” Tony pops the P on the word and pulls his arm from the machine to show off the shiny red metal of his gauntlet. 

“That doesn’t keep the arm on your body.It just means your dismembered flesh will be worth more.” She sasses as another beep sounds and she stops in her tracks.That’s not the coffee maker.“Oh my god.”She spins on her heel and rushes back to her seat ripping the shiny black laptop from it’s place of honor on the side table.There’s a blinking notification bubble flashing at the bottom of the screen. 

“Is it?” Tony’s voice is so much closer than it was a moment ago and Darcy looks up at him swallowing heavily.

“Yes.”

“What’s it say?” He’s leaning over the screen now trying to read upside down and Darcy flexes shaking fingers to click on the browser window.

The message is short and clearly from Natasha and not Clint. Darcy takes a moment to make sure she’s got it right and then reads it aloud, “All well. Coming home.” 

“Descriptive.” Tony says and Darcy looks up at him with glassy eyes. 

“It’s enough.”

“Yea, kiddo, it is.” Tony agrees and then because he’s always been more perceptive than the world gives him credit for he goes back to his tinkering and lets her cry in relief without comment. 

Three days later finds Darcy standing on the side of a private California airstrip because she isn’t capable of waiting an extra day and she had access to a private plane.Thor agreed to come along as added security just in case and he’s standing next to her as they wait for the plane carrying Clint and Nat to land.Tony declined to come because as he put it, “You’re probably going to do things no father should have to see.” He isn’t wrong. 

Darcy bounces on her feet and tries to pretend she can’t see Thor watching her like a proud older brother.It’s the first time since she’s come home from the kidnapping that she’s put on a bra and something other than yoga pants.Getting dressed had been a trial, first because she’s lost weight and nothing fit right and then because everything looks different when your hair is only an inch long. 

She runs a nervous hand over the shorn hair, something that is fast becoming a tick, before reaching down to tug at her shirt.As much as she’d wanted to dress up it hadn’t felt right and she’s just in dark skinny jeans and a green tunic top.The plane finally comes to a complete stop and she bounces in her soft leather flats for the millionth time. 

“You look lovely.A fitting woman for a returning warrior.” Thor speaks softly and Darcy cuts her eyes up to him. 

“Thanks big guy.” She says before glancing back to watch the main hatch open. “You know you can head back to Jane after we get to the house.The security here is enough.I know she’s missing you.”They were going to stay at the rebuilt Malibu house at least tonight before flying back to New York but Thor could go home via air mew mew anytime.Darcy knows Jane is still skittish after the whole being held at gunpoint thing. 

“I appreciate that Darcy.I may—“ He stops short, his eyes on the plane and Darcy turns her whole body to watch. 

Clint comes out first, holding a case that can only be his bow in one hand and Darcy feels her breath catch in her chest.He’s got a bandage over his nose and even from here she can see a black eye blooming but none of it matters.She watches his eyes scan the runway and then land on them standing outside the hangar door and he freezes for a moment before he starts to rush down the steps. 

She tries to be patient, tries to remind herself he could be injured, he may not even want to see her but it doesn’t matter.She starts to move without realizing it and by the time his feet hit the tarmac she’s almost running.She has just enough time to see his eyes widen as he drops the bow case before she jumps into his open arms forcing him to take a few steps back to keep his balance as she twines her legs around his waist and gets her mouth on his. 

It’s like magic.His arms around her waist, his hard chest pressed into hers, his mouth urgent and rough against her own.He reaches up, cupping the back of her head to deepen the kiss and Darcy groans around the feeling of his tongue pushing against hers.She’s clinging to his shoulders so hard it’ll leave marks and she knows she’s crying, she can feel the wetness on her cheeks. 

When they finally break apart it’s only so she can press kisses on to every inch of his face in between words. “I’m so sorry.So sorry.I love you.Of course I love you.I should have told you everyday.”She presses her mouth against his lips and eyes and the bandage over his nose, trying to force the words permanently into his skin. 

“Darce,” He breathes out her name with something just a little like reverence, “baby. It’s okay. It’s okay.”His arms tighten around her pulling her face down into his neck and she goes almost boneless in his arms inhaling deeply against his skin.“I’ve got you.I’m okay.” 

It feels like forever but Darcy knows it’s only a few seconds before he carefully starts to set her on her feet and she lands on shaking legs only to lean heavily into his side, burying her face in the soft cotton of his tshirt.He smells like home and safety and everything she needs. 

“You good?” Nat’s voice draws Darcy’s gaze up to the redhead still standing at the top of the plane stairs. 

“Yep.” Clint calls back with a little wave.

“See you in a few days.” Natasha says, “Be good младшая сестра.”And then turns back into the plane.

“She’s not staying?” Darcy asks looking up at Clint and her heart almost stutters at the sight of those blue green eyes. 

“She’s got things to take care of on the East Coast.Stopped to drop me off and refuel.”He says and then bends down to pick up his bow case.“What’s the plan?” He asks with a smile and her fingers tighten in the back of his shirt.

“We’re staying at the Malibu house. Thor’s here for protection.” Clint raises an eyebrow at that but doesn’t comment.

“Lead the way.” He says with a nod.

The drive to the Malibu house is an effort in patience.Darcy is a mess, after years of keeping everything pent up finally letting it all out means it has to just really be out.She can’t not be touching him, leaning on him, making sure he’s really there and not dead in some Eastern European alley. 

Clint for his part seems to feel the same way although he manages to limit himself to just keeping at least one hand on her at all times while carrying on a very normal sounding conversation with Thor for the trip.Mostly they talk about what happened in Washington, the fall of SHIELD, the events at the tower.Darcy doesn’t miss the way Clint’s hand tightens on her leg when Thor retells Darcy’s trip the garage to save Jane. “A most heroic act of friendship and valor.” Asgardians love their valor. 

Thor takes Darcy up on the offer to leave as soon as they get to the house and the security gate has closed behind the retreating car. 

“I must return to Jane.Tony has assured us that this house will be safe for you both.”He tells them like Darcy didn’t grow up running these halls.

“Thank you for coming big guy.”She says and steps away from Clint long enough to give the giant alien Prince a hug.“Tell Jane not to terrorize Tony too much before I get back.”

“I will ensure it.” Thor agrees solemnly.

He and Clint trade one of those manly arm clasp chest bump things and then he lifts his arm to spin the hammer and in a rush of wind, he’s gone. 

“That will never not be weird.” Clint says staring at the horizon where Thor is growing smaller by the second before turning back to her with a smile, “So you gonna show me around?”

They make it further than Darcy thought they would. She’d been certain he was going to give in when she pointed out the first guest bedroom on the tour but they make it all the way to what used to be her room. Recreated during the rebuild with the black bedding and posters all over the walls before he pushes her up against the door and practically attacks her mouth. 

She’s not complaining.

She could never complain with his calloused hands tucked up under her shirt, rasping over the delicate skin of her back. She buries her fingers in his hair and tugs until he groans into her mouth and the noise has her body arching further into his. 

“Did you miss me?” He whispers the familiar post mission words against her lips and Darcy feels something inside her just snap. 

“So much it hurts.” She says and she loves the way his eyes dilate on the words.“I thought I’d never—“ she starts to say but he cuts her off with his mouth.His tongue licking in as his hands tighten on her waist.

“Later.” He when he finally breaks away, breathless and beautiful. “Let’s do that part later. I need—“ He doesn’t finish.He doesn’t have to.She needs too.

After that it’s a rush.His hands are everywhere and his mouth follows, touching and tasting everything he can get to.She’s the same, her fingers making a map of the muscles and skin she’s been dreaming about for weeks.He pulls her away from the door and spins them both until the backs of her knees hit the edge of the bed.She lets herself fall back and land with a bounce. 

“Clothes.” She pants and he nods, already reaching for the hem of his shirt as she sits up to reach for his belt.Together they get him undressed and Darcy takes in the sight of him naked for the first time since before the kidnapping.He’s got a new scar, a thin pink line that looks fresh and runs from under his left pec in a curve down his ribs.She traces it but doesn’t speak.Later he’d said.

“Now you.” His voice is soft and Darcy looks up at him from the bed.His eyes are almost black with arousal and he’s rock hard, his cock jutting out from between his legs.She reaches out and wraps a hand around him watching the way his eyebrows draw together as he pants from her touch. She strokes him the way he likes, running her thumb over the head on every up stroke and for a moment she thinks she’s going to get away with it but he reaches down to cover her hand with his.“Now you Darce.” He says it softly but the edge of command is still there.

“I—“ She starts and stops, closing her mouth.She’s thinner, from the kidnapping and the stress.The scar from her lung surgery is still an angry red line down her chest, and she’s got a buzzed head.She looks different and for all that she doesn’t doubt he wants her, she’s still self conscious. 

There’s a dip in the bed as he climbs on to straddle her and he cups her head in both his big hands, his fingers tracing patterns through her short hair.“My girl.” He says softly, “My beautiful girl.” He presses a kiss to her lips and trails his hands down to tangle in the hem of her shirt.“Let me see you.”She nods once and he drags the top up and off.

Darcy watches his face for anything but there’s nothing there she could even try to misconstrue as disgust.Instead he looks like he’s just a bit in awe of her.“Pretty.” He mutters, running one blunt finger over the edge of her lace bra.The dark purple a contrast against her pale skin. 

“Your favorite.” She admits and then ducks her head to hide the blush. 

“I know.” He agrees and gives her a leering smile.“Gonna leave it on.” He says and Darcy opens her mouth to object but she’s stopped as he ducks his head and wraps his mouth around one lace covered nipple. 

The lace makes everything rougher as he tongues at her, his teeth nipping just enough to make her hips buck under him.Without letting up, he backs off the bed, his hands tugging at her tight jeans and she lifts her hips to help him pull them and her panties off.She’s grateful she kicked off her shoes in the foyer as he pulls the last of her clothes away and he drops to his knees at the edge of the bed. 

“God you’re gorgeous.” He whispers and Darcy stares at him kneeling between her thighs thinking that he has to be some kind of dream because this is not something she thought she’d get again. His mouth presses wet kisses to her thighs as his hands guide her legs over his shoulders and she keeps herself propped up on her elbows to watch, not wanting to miss a second. 

She makes it through the first swipe of his tongue but on the second he licks her in one long stripe from ass to clit and she drops her head back with a groan.He eats her like a man starving, his hands cupping her ass to lift her up and open to him while he alternates between pushing his tongue up into her cunt and sucking on her clit.It’s less than a minute before she’s a panting mess and she knows whatever is spilling from her mouth must be good because he groans deep in his throat and she can feel it all the way through her core. 

Reaching down, she digs her fingers into his dark blond hair and tugs.He seems to take it as a challenge, reaching between her legs to slide two blunt fingers into her slick heat and Darcy slams her eyes closed on a moan before tugging at his hair again.He’s going to make her come and she refuses to do it without his cock buried deep inside her. 

“Please,” she gasps out, “please Clint. Need you.” 

“Need what?” He asks against her thigh and his fingers never stop working between her legs, sliding in and out with fierce precision. 

“Need you inside me.” She gasps out as he curls his fingers to press on that spot deep inside. 

“Yeah?” He asks and his teeth nip at the juncture of her thigh.

“Yes. Please.”

“Tell me what you want Darcy.”She squeezes her eyes shut against the low commanding timbre of his voice.“Do you want me to fuck you hard and fast?” He punctuates the question with a twist of his fingers, “Or slow?” he bends the fingers to press against that spot again and her hips jerk up seeking pressure on her clit.“You want me behind you? Or do you want my weight on top of you.” He presses down low on her pelvis as he asks and it heightens every thrust of his fingers between her legs until she’s gasping with it. 

“Yes.”She almost sobs out.“Yes. Just need you, please.”The hand tangled in his hair tightens again and she tugs until she hears him hiss in pain. “Please.” 

His fingers slide out of her with an almost embarrassing wet sound and she scrambles back on the bed to make room for him as he climbs over her.She reaches down between them to grasp at his cock and she rubs her thumb over the slick she finds at the tip.His hips jerk forward into her and Darcy arches into the feeling of the blunt head sliding through her wet folds. 

For all his dirty talk when he actually slides home it’s with his eyes locked on hers, one rough hand keeping her thigh tucked high over his hip.He holds himself up on an elbow, and his hips move against hers in an easy rhythm that sets sparks moving through her limbs.

Darcy reaches up to cup his cheek with one hand and she almost melts at the way he leans into the tender touch, his eyes closing so tight it puts a crease between his brows. She slides her hands down his face to his neck, and over his shoulders to his back.She trails her nails lightly down the lines of his spine before grabbing at his ass and arching her hips up into his.The action forces his thrusts to stutter and his eyes lock on hers. 

The movement is a seamless shift of muscle and one second Darcy is on her back, the next she’s spread over Clint’s bent legs while he continues to thrust up into her. The new position gives him access to his hands and he puts them to good use, trailing rough fingers down her back, cupping her breasts, gripping her hips.Darcy has almost no leverage in this position but she still rolls her hips in time with his, her hands buried in his hair and her open mouth pressed just under his ear panting her need.

“So good Darce.” His thrusts are getting harder and his pelvic bone is tapping against her clit in perfect time.“What to feel you come for me pretty girl. Want to feel that perfect body come around me.” She nods mindlessly in agreement and pulls back so she can see his face.His eyes are heavy lidded and dark with lust, he’s biting at his bottom lip and she can tell he’s close.

She reaches down with one hand to help herself along but he gets there first and she feels him start to rub in tight circles with two flat fingers. For all that he’s able to drag it out for hours, he certainly knows how to get her there fast when he wants to.She barely gets a chance to enjoy the friction before she’s right there on the edge ready to fall.

“Close.” She gasps out for him and his eyes widen just a bit before he pulls her down for a filthy kiss, his teeth nipping at her bottom lip and it’s the final straw.Her entire body tightens up, eyes slamming shut and chest arching into his, as she comes. Hard.He takes her through it, his hips never stilling until she’s starting to go boneless and then he jerks up once, twice more and she swallows the groan of his release with a kiss as he empties himself into her.

“Fuck.” He mutters against her mouth as he tips them both over still connected to fall in a heap of sweat slicked limbs on the bed.She’s breathing hard and she slides her hands over his head, down his back, across his chest, over every inch of skin she can reach trying to calm his breathing and reassure herself.

“Look at me.” His voice is a rasp and she obeys, slowly blinking until she can focus on him.He’s so close she can see the narrow band of gold around his pupils and everything she’s feeling reflected back at her tenfold.This is it, this is them with no walls left and she revels in the warmth of his gaze.He licks his lips and drags a heavy hand up her side to cup her face, fingers teasing at her short hair. 

“I love you.”She rushes it out before he can and Clint huffs a laugh against her mouth. 

“It’s not a competition you know.” He teases and Darcy rolls her eyes.

“You’re only saying that because you know I’d win.” She teases right back before nipping at his lip.“I’m sorry it took me so long but I’m with you. I’m here. I have been for awhile. I’m not going anywhere.” She swallows thickly.“I’m sorr—“

“Stop.” He says softly and he pulls her even closer, reaching down to pull one of her legs over his hip.“I’m sorry,” he says. “I shouldn’t have said all that at the hospital I was just—“ He looks away for a second and then back, “I thought I was going to lose you Darce and then when I had you back it made me desperate to keep you.”He looks down and she closes the short distance to press another kiss to his lips. 

“Do you still love me?” She asks softly. 

“What?!” He jerks back, his eyes wide, “Of course I do, Christ I’m terrible at this. Yes.”He slides his hands over her head, and down her back holding her tight with strong arms, “I love you so much it hurts.It’s dangerous.I’m completely gone on you, have been for longer than I want to admit.”His voice is thick with emotion and Darcy presses her face into his neck. 

“Let’s not do this almost dying stuff again anytime soon.”She says into his throat and she feels him swallow.

“Gonna do my best baby girl.” He agrees and she feels his fingers slide over the scar on her ribs.

“You hungry?” She asks thinking of their usual post mission routine, “Do we need to get a pizza?” 

“In a little while.” He says and she can hear the sleep in his voice.

“Take your aids out.” She says already reaching for his right ear to find the little device.She’s surprised when he doesn’t pull away just lets her work the tiny in-ear aids out of each ear and she leans over to drop them on the night stand. 

“Love you.” He mutters into her hair when she settles back against him.Darcy looks at him through her lashes and is surprised to find him watching her though slitted lids so she holds up her hand with middle and ring finger curled, thumb extended. _I love you_.He grabs her wrist and presses his lips to her skin.“Nap.” He mutters so she does. 

When she wakes the room is dark and Darcy’s entire body tenses until a warm hand presses gently between her shoulder blades. “Curtains Jarvis.” Clint’s low voice says and there’s a rustle as the blackout curtains over the room’s curved windows slide back to let in the late afternoon light.“Better?” Clint asks and Darcy rolls over to find him sitting up against the headboard, she presses her face into his hip. 

“Yes.” She says quietly. “You okay?” She signs with the words and he nods as a heavy hand comes down to rub at her scalp. 

“Couldn’t sleep.” He says to the room at large before turning his gaze back to her.“You okay? Nightmares?”

“Yes. No nightmares.” She signs with her words and then sits up to lean against him until he settles a heavy arm over her shoulders. 

Darcy can hear his heartbeat steady against her ear and she tries to match her breathing to his rhythm. He takes a deep breath, his chest rising and falling heavily. “I would have died if you hadn’t sent that warning.” The words are like a bullet to the chest and Darcy can’t stop the soft whine that leaves her throat. “When part of the team turned on us I only reacted fast enough because I was already on edge, two other agents weren’t as fast.”He turns to look at her and his eyes are glassy. “Was a close thing.”

It’s the kind of thing they usually dance around after he comes home.He’s known since almost day one how skittish she is because of Tony and he’s always been so careful to keep as much of the risk he puts himself in away from her. This time though she played a part in it, was the reason he made it out.She wipes at his wet eyes with gentle fingers.“Hearing aids?” She asks softly as she hooks a finger over her ear in the sign he taught her just a few months ago.

He nods silently and turns to reach for the small devices on the nightstand, tucking them into his ears with practiced motions.“I suppose it’s later, time to talk?” He asks and Darcy just presses her face into his chest. 

“Do we have a list?” She mutters into his skin and she feels more than hears his short laugh.

“Do we need one?” He tugs at her as he speaks, pulling her up and over his lap until she’s straddling him.She can feel him half hard against her ass as she settles, pressing her breasts into his chest.“I think,” he says as he slides a hand down her back, “all serious conversations should happen naked in bed from now on.” 

Darcy takes in his teasing half smile, the double black eyes, and the bandage still spread over his nose and snorts. “Okay hot shot.” She agrees easily and then sobers, “I didn’t think I’d see you again.” She admits softly and his hands clench on her, his breath stuttering. “So many chances for neither of us to come home.”

“I know.” He says and he presses his forehead to hers. “I’m sorry again about the hospital Darce. I was just so —“

“No, I’m sorry about the hospital.” She interrupts, “and the gala, and asking you to keep things quiet, and being generally terrible at everything.”She rushes it all out and it’s not anywhere near how she’d planned to apologize but it’s out there now.

His hand slides up to cup the back of her head. “You are generally terrible at relationships.” He agrees and the teasing smile gets a little wider, “I am too.” He adds before pressing a soft kiss against her lips before pulling back, “How about we agree to forgive each other for all of it in one fell swoop?”

“Forgiven.” She agrees quickly and he huffs a laugh against her mouth. 

“Forgiven.” He agrees, “What else?”

Darcy tries to sort through all her swirling thoughts,“Okay.” She finally says, “I have a serious question.”

His smile fades just a bit and he nods, “Alright.” He says but he sounds uncertain.

“When you brought up changing your rally point to New Mexico a few months ago, Darcy starts, “was that you hinting at us living together?” It’s been nagging at the back of her brain since Jane brought it up weeks ago and Darcy has to know if she misunderstood as wildly as Jane claims.

“I didn’t hint Darce.” He sounds incredulous, “I was asking you to live with me.I showed you listings for two bedroom apartments. I started a whole conversation about the merits of our individual coffee makers to decide which one to keep so we didn’t have two in the kitchen. I’m not sure how much clearer I could have been without hitting you over the head and waking you up already moved in.” 

“You were serious about the coffee makers?” Darcy remembers the conversation, “I thought that was like a fun hypothetical thing?” She’s an idiot. 

He snorts and then lets out a full laugh, throwing his head back, his body shaking so hard it bounces her on his lap. “Oh my god.” He practically howls and Darcy slaps at his chest.

“Stop it you dick.” She can feel the blush high on her cheeks, “I didn’t know you were trying to move in with me until Jane pointed it out like a month ago.”That just makes him laugh louder and Darcy starts to shift to get off his lap but his hands grab at her hips.

“No. No.Baby girl, I’m sorry. No stay.”He pulls her back against him and takes a deep breath to get himself under control, wrapping strong arms tight to keep her in place.“I’m sorry.” He leans forward and presses a chaste kiss to her mouth, “I love you Darce.” He reaches up to wipe at his face, “You really are worse at this relationship stuff than me though.Don’t ever tell Nat this happened.” He adds, suddenly more serious, “We’ll both end up translating a Russian relationship lecture.”

Darcy just stares at him taking in the laugh lines around his eyes still deep with his amusement, his mouth half quirked up in a smile, and then the fading bruises under both eyes.She can’t imagine a future where she doesn’t get to see this face as often as possible, where she can’t bury her fingers in his hair anytime she wants, where she won’t feel his warm hands on her skin first thing in the morning.

“Do you still want to though?” She asks and she watches his face go slack in surprise.

“Do I still want to what?” His voice is suddenly deep and serious, his legs shifting under her so he can sit up straighter against the headboard.

“Do you still want to live with me?Only have one coffee maker and combine all our stuff?”She clarifies.

“Yes.” He says quietly and then another grin splits his face, “Yes, of course I do. Anywhere you want. Immediately. Always.” 

“Okay.” She says.

“Okay?” He asks, “To be clear we’re going to move in together in one location?”

“Yes.” Darcy agrees and she can feel her own smile stretch wide. “In Bed Stuy.”

“In Bed Stuy.” He echoes. “Okay.” He tugs her down for a kiss, sliding his mouth against hers and she can feel his smile when she kisses him back.

“I love you.” She says when they break apart and the way it makes his eyes light up is gorgeous. Now that she’s started she can’t stop saying it.

“I love you too.” He presses another kiss to her lips as though to emphasize the declaration. “We’re going to make a complete mess of living together right?” 

“Oh yea.” She agrees without an ounce of sarcasm. “It’s going to be a disaster.Especially when Tony finds out.”

“Fuck.” Clint groans. “He will be insufferable.” 

“I’ll protect you.” Darcy teases, leaning forward to brace her arms on his shoulders.

“You’ll have to.” He says and his hands have started to slide over her skin in familiar patterns, the rough callouses send a shiver up her spine. “We good? More on the list?” He asks the question into her chest, his head ducked to press hot kisses over the tops of her breasts.

Darcy shifts against him and she’s suddenly very aware that they’re both naked. All it would take is a roll of her hips and she could have his length sliding between her thighs. If the little jerks his hips are making are any indication, he is also aware and angling to start something. His lips find a nipple and Darcy arches up into the wet heat with a low moan.

He releases her flesh with a soft pop. “Anything else we need to talk about?” He asks again.

“Probably,” she gasps out but she’s already sliding her hips back to trap his erection between her legs, “but we have time.”

“Yes we do.” He agrees, “Lots of it.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I hope you all enjoyed the conclusion of most of the major plot points.   
> There’s an epilogue coming up in the next few days! 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who’s been reading, commenting, leaving kudos, and all that. It’s been so great to hear all your thoughts and I appreciate all of you very much!


	18. Thankful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy celebrates the Thanksgiving holiday with the team.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here is the very happy ending I promised you all at the beginning of this. It’s very fluffy, a little hot, and one of my favorite things I’ve ever written. 
> 
> One note/quick disclaimer: Any thoughts on the historical realities of Thanksgiving expressed in this chapter are for literary purposes and not meant to be, by any stretch of the imagination, a serious discussion of the real history of American Thanksgiving, which I hope we all know is not the cute story we were told in grade school. 
> 
> To all my readers who are about to eat a lot of turkey Happy Thanksgiving y’all!

“Concentric circles!”

“What does that even mean?”

“The marshmallows have to be in concentric circles, like a bullseye. You can’t just throw them all on there all willy nilly.”

“Of course I can.”

“Give me that!”

“What? No. Ge’off Jane, Jesus.”

“Darcy!” Jane’s voice rings out from the kitchen, “Darcy your jack booted thug is destroying the sweet potatoes.” 

“Darce, your platonic life mate is an obsessive perfectionist.” Clint mimics Jane’s whine and there’s an indignant shriek Darcy would know anywhere.

“What did I say?” Darcy shouts back from her very comfortable spot on the couch next to Tony.

“But concentric circles Darce!” Jane’s whine is reaching dangerous levels.

“What. Did. I. Say!”

“You’re not moving until the parade is over.” Jane chants back obediently and Tony holds out his fist for Darcy to bump.

“I’m getting Thor.” Darcy hears Jane mutter from the kitchen seconds before Clint vaults over the back of the couch to land on her other side with a bounce. 

“Do you really feel this strongly about marshmallow placement?” Darcy asks him, reaching over to grab a handful of the mini marshmallows from the bag in Clint’s hand.

“Of course not.” Clint says dropping a heavy arm over her shoulders. “But Jane’s funny when she gets frustrated.She gets that little wrinkle between her eyes.”

“What have I said about this.” Tony snips from Darcy’s other side and he’s giving Clint’s arm over her shoulders a dirty look.

“That you’re happy I’m happy.” Darcy quips, leaning more heavily into Clint’s side.“Now shush. I am watching this parade.” 

“I can’t believe Steve and Sam went down there to watch with the crowds.” Clint says into Darcy’s temple and she snuggles deeper into his side.

“I can’t believe Natasha went with them.” Tony mutters. 

“You’re just mad they didn’t invite you.” Darcy replies and she feels Clint’s snorted laugh through her whole body. 

“She said I wasn’t subtle.I can be great at subtle.” Tony says and then looks over to Pepper still working on her tablet in an armchair across the room. “I can be subtle right Pep?” He asks even as Darcy tries to contain her own incredulous sigh.

“Yes Tony. Subtle like a 20ft stuffed rabbit.” Pepper agrees without looking up and Tony just turns back to the TV. 

“No respect in my own home and on Thanksgiving no less.” He mutters to himself before taking another long sip of his coffee.“When’s dinner?”

“But Jane I’m not sure I understand why the circles are so important.”Thor’s booming voice announces his arrival from the elevators and Darcy turns to look over the back of the couch. Jane is pulling the giant alien prince deeper into the penthouse still looking incensed. 

“Shit!” Clint whispers, “Save me?” 

“You’re on your own hot shot.You made this mess trying to be a troll.”Darcy whispers sliding herself out from under his arm just in time for Thor to take up position directly in front of the TV.

“Better door than a window big guy.” Darcy chides and Thor takes two steps to the side to reveal the TV again.

“Better?” Thor asks politely waiting for Darcy to nod before turning back to his original target. “Clint,” Thor starts looking very somber, “Jane tells me you have wronged her in the preparation of the sweet potatoes and she has asked me to defend her honor and retrieve the miniature marshmallows.”Thor shoots a confirmation look at Jane who is standing just behind him nodding with her arms crossed over her chest. 

“Uhhh.” Clint holds out the bag of marshmallows and Darcy has to smother her laughter in Tony’s shoulder. “Here ya go big guy,” Clint says, “marshmallows retrieved.” 

“And you agree to allow the —“ Thor throws a glance back at Jane.

“Concentric circles.” She provides.

“Yes, you agree to allow the concentric circles?” Thor asks with all the seriousness of brokering an intergalactic peace treaty.

“Yes.” Clint agrees straight faced and then leaning around Thor to meet Jane’s eyes, “I still think concentric circles are insane but I’ll allow it.” 

“See!” Jane shrieks pointing at Clint, and Darcy loses what little bit of control she had left and just howls in laughter.“See what I have to do deal with?” Jane continues completely ignoring Darcy gasping for breath against an amused looking Tony. 

“Now Jane.” Thor says placatingly. “Clint is entitled to his opinion on these sweet potato circles.” Jane huffs in annoyance and Darcy knows that huff, she’s going to give in because Thor is adorable and very good at Jane management.“Perhaps you can show me the circles so I understand.” Thor says and Jane’s smile could light a room.

“Yes! A demonstration.” Jane agrees and tugs the marshmallow toting prince from the room. 

“Please tell me that actually just happened.” Tony says and it sets Darcy off on another bout of laughter until she’s wiping tears from her eyes. 

“You going to be okay there Darce?” Clint asks from her other side and she leans over to land with her head in his lap. 

“Probably?” She says between deep breaths and he runs blunt fingers through her shaggy hair. 

“Would more coffee help?” He asks and Darcy is reminded yet again why she loves him so very much.

“You really going to brave the kitchen again?” Darcy asks.

“Absolutely.” Clint says and there’s a dangerous look in his eyes. 

“I will not save you if Thor decides you’ve finally stepped over the line trolling Jane.”Darcy says in warning but Clint just ducks down to steal a kiss before sliding out from under her head.

“Pep, Tony, more coffee?” Clint asks, gathering up mugs as he goes.

“Thank you Clint.” Pepper says and Darcy sees Tony roll his eyes.She just turns back to the parade.

It’s been a little over a month since the fall of SHIELD and things have settled down into something resembling normal.Clint and Tony have a truce mostly born out of necessity and a lot of Darcy’s frustration.Clint is much better at maintaining said truce but Darcy has a suspicion it’s because he’s got a larger incentive what with sharing her bed. 

The snoopy balloon is drifting across the TV screen when Clint comes back balancing three mugs.He drops one off with Pep before carefully winding his way back to the couch.“Up darlin’” He says with a smile and she sits up just enough for him to slide back into his spot before she goes back to using him as a pillow.“Coffee with a surprise!” He says holding out the mug and Darcy sits up the rest of the way to take the coffee, staring down at the handful of mini marshmallows floating on top. 

She looks up to find him watching her with far more excitement than marshmallows deserve. “Seriously?” She asks.

“Try it.” He says and bounces a little on the cushion.

“You are dating him by choice.” Tony says dryly and Darcy shoots him a dirty look over her shoulder before taking a tentative sip.It’s interesting.

“Mmm.” She says out loud, “Good.” 

“I know right?” Clint agrees before turning back to the parade while gulping at his own marshmallow filled coffee, “Look, snoopy.”

It’s times like these she’s reminded he grew up in a circus and still has the palette of a ten year old.She leans against his arm and sips at the coffee. It grows on you.

“When is the turkey again?” Thor asks as he and Jane come back from the kitchen and settle into the armchair next to Pep. 

“At eight.” Pepper replies and she finally sets aside her tablet.“Tony and Darcy have always insisted on a late dinner.”

“To allow for naps.” Tony says.

“Yeah Pep. We have to have time for Thanksgiving naps.” Darcy agrees and Clint’s hand rubs at her thigh.

“That’s my girl.” He says proudly.

“My girl first.” Tony snaps and Darcy groans.

“Can we just watch the parade!” Darcy almost shouts.

“And this is why I agreed to the naps.” Peppers says brightly.

“Kill me.” Darcy whispers into Clint’s shoulder and he presses a kiss to her temple. 

“I would but it’s your day to do the dishes and I tried to make pie this morning so...” He drapes his arm back over her, tugging her more fully against him and Darcy snorts, pressing her cheek against his chest. 

“But after I do the dishes?”

“I’ll make it quick. Practically painless” He agrees and she smiles up at him through her lashes.

“You’re so good to me.” She says blinking up vapidly until Clint ducks down to press a quick kiss to her lips. 

“Disgusting.” Tony mutters and Darcy shoves at his thigh with her toes.

“Quiet you.” She warns.

The rest of the parade passes with a round of marshmallow coffees for everyone else and Thor asking a dozen questions about the logic of street level broadway performances in late November.Darcy has to agree with the big guy there, she’s a parade purist, balloons only. After reassuring Jane that she will keep Clint away from the sweet potatoes between now and dinner she pulls her archer back to their tower apartment for nap. 

“So Thanksgiving naps?” Clint asks as they step into the foyer.

“Yes.” Darcy agrees and kicks off her flats before drifting into the living room. 

“Did you remember to bring pajamas?” He teases and Darcy rolls her eyes before flopping down on the deep couch.“Gonna make room for me?”

“No.” She says into a pillow and then shrieks as very large biceps scoop her up like she weighs nothing and she finds herself held against his chest and headed towards the bedroom.“You’re the worst.” She mutters into his shirt.

“You love me.” He says right before he drops her on the unmade bed.

“I do but it’s not intentional.” Darcy grouches back, “But this is very comfy.” She relents as she wiggles until she’s under the covers and surrounded by pillows. 

“I love you too Darce.” He says shedding his shirt before joining her on the bed.His arm slides around her waist to pull her bodily across the mattress and Darcy shuffles a bit more until she’s completely tucked into his heat.

Clint’s breathing evens out almost immediately but Darcy has a harder time trying to fall asleep.It’s her first Thanksgiving with Tony and Pepper in four years and while she and Clint spent Thanksgiving day together last year, they’d just eaten Chinese food with Jane and Thor while watching old movies.Darcy shifts on the bed and Clint’s arm tightens around her as he mumbles in his sleep. 

It’s been a long month since the fall of SHIELD. The tower repairs are almost done although on hold for the holiday.Technically Darcy doesn’t live in the tower anymore, that had been quite the conversation (fight) with Tony.They’d eventually reached a compromise that involved a lot of security upgrades to the building in Bed Stuy and keeping her apartment in the tower as a backup.So far it’s working. Ninety percent of the time Darcy goes home to Clint and Lucky in Ben Stuy but it’s good to have the tower place for late work nights or for times when Clint is away on a mission.

She rolls over to bury her face into Clint’s chest.Living together is easier than she thought it would be.They spent a memorable weekend consolidating kitchen stuff, packing up Darcy’s clothes, and play fighting over knick knack placement. There were some complications, neither of them liked doing the dishes, Darcy left wet towels on the floor, and Clint hid weapons fucking everywhere but at the end of the day nothing beat coming home to find her favorite archer warm and sleepy on their couch. 

She presses a soft kiss to his bare pec and he huffs against her hair.“Nap Darce.” Clint’s voice is a rasp and Darcy shifts against him again. 

“Not tired.” She says into his sleep warmed skin.

“Liar.” He says through a closed eye smile.“I know you didn’t sleep last night.”

Darcy lets out a low sigh. Trouble sleeping is probably the worst lingering side effect of everything that happened.It’s been getting better, with therapy and lots of support but she still struggles in the dark.Clint has been infinitely patient with the need for leaving a lamp on all night and her insomniac tendencies.She’s recently gotten to the point where she can have all the lights off but only if he’s in the bed with her.Last night though had been a lost cause.

“I was nervous.” She finally admits and she feels him move, shuffling down until they’re eye to eye.

“About what?” He asks and one big hand comes up to rub at her hair, ruffling the shaggy locks. 

“It’s getting longer.” She says in a blatant attempt to change the subject. The short hair is still a sore spot for her even if Jane keeps sending her articles about how pixie cuts are in style right now.

“Yes.” Clint agrees before curling his fingers to tug at the two inches of shaggy hair. “It was cute before, still cute now baby girl.What were you nervous about?”

“I don’t know.” She lies through her teeth and his fingers tighten a little in her hair before releasing. 

“Okay.” His eyes scan her face, “You want me to keep pushing or do you want me to help you nap?” The way his gaze dips down to the deep V of her t-shirt makes it clear how he plans to help her nap. 

This is the other way Clint has been helpful with her insomnia.Taking great pleasure in finding more and more creative ways to get her so tired she can’t help but drift off.There was one night a few weeks ago where she was pretty sure she actually passed out from pleasure.Clint had been smug for a solid three days afterwards. 

“Darce?” Clint asks and she refocuses on his half lidded eyes.

“Option two, please” She says and Clint leers. 

“Thanksgiving sex, nice.” Darcy’s resulting laugh is muffled as Clint slots his mouth over hers. 

He doesn’t waste any time getting them both naked and Darcy has no complaints when she finds herself being dragged up Clint’s body on her knees until she’s straddling his chest. 

“What’s the plan here hot shot?” She asks, making sure to lean forward so her breasts swing in range of his mouth. 

“Didn’t really have one.” Clint says and his hands slide up her hips, over her stomach, to cup her tits.She leans into his touch until his thumbs brush over erect nipples.“I have ideas though.” He says with a leer. “Turn around.”

Darcy raises an eyebrow and leans back to swing herself around until she’s kneeling over him facing away.“Like this?” She asks coyly over a shoulder and his hands move up over the curve of her ass to grip her hips. 

“These fucking dimples.” Clint groans out, pressing his thumbs into the twin dents at the base of her spine before using the grip to pull her further up his body.There’s been almost no build up but Darcy can feel anticipation coiling up low in her stomach.She knows exactly where this is headed and she’s very much looking forward to it. “I could come on these dimples every day and never get tired of it. 

“Oh yeah?” She asks and she runs her hands down his hard stomach to his thighs loving the way his muscles jump under her touch. She avoids touching him where she knows he wants it most. He’s fully erect and she teases at him, leaning down to blow at the tip of his cock where she can already see precum leaking out. 

“Mmhmm.” Clint hums his agreement as his cock jumps from her attentions even as he pulls at her again until she can feel his breath against her damp folds.“Suck my dick Darce.” He demands before he wraps his arms around her thighs and tugs her down to bury his face between her legs. 

“Fuck.” Darcy gasps out before pitching forward with just a little help from Clint’s hand on her back to land hands braced on either side of his thighs, his dick at her mouth.She takes a moment to appreciate the feeling of his lips and tongue working at her clit before she swallows him down. 

Darcy enjoys sucking dick.There’s always been a feeling of power and accomplishment in it.She particularly enjoys sucking Clint’s dick.It’s one of the only times he’s completely incapable of hiding his reactions and she loves the way his hips jerk when she runs her tongue along the ridges of the head and the way he moans into her when she gently scrapes at him with her teeth.If she’s honest, her favorite way to do this for him is on her knees, where she can look up and watch his reactions but feeling them rumble through her cunt is a close second. 

“Fuck Darce.”Clint breaks away from his efforts on her clit with a low groan and Darcy’s resulting smile is stretched wide around him as she ducks down to take him deeper.She can feel him panting against her center as she swallows around his thick length and when his hips jerk up just a bit she braces her hands against them to keep him still.“Fuck.” He hisses again and Darcy almost gags as he slides two blunt fingers into her cunt, his thumb teasing at her asshole. “Gonna make me come, Darce.” He groans.

She slides his dick out of her mouth and braces herself to keep working him with a hand, “That’s kind of the point.” She pants out licking at the head of his cock with the flat of her tongue before swallowing him back down.

“Want to make me come?” He asks and Darcy would roll her eyes except that the tip of his thumb is sliding just inside her ass and she can’t help the way she thrusts back into the full feeling it creates. “Such a good girl.” Clint praises and Darcy feels the familiar spike of heat from the way his voice rasps on the words.She’s a slut for praise and he knows it.

She bobs her head over him, sucking hard, using one hand to tug lightly at his balls and she enjoys the way every upstroke of her lips makes his breath stutter. She wants him to come. She wants to feel him jerk and spill down her throat and she really wants what she knows will come after. His thumb slides just a little deeper into her ass and his fingers are working her with a rough rhythm but his mouth stays clear of her clit.The fucking tease.

“Just like that baby girl.” He groans out and Darcy shifts so she can press a flat finger up against his perineum in a way that makes his hips jerk again.“Fuck.” He hisses again and she smiles around his cock, he’s so close.She can feel his body starting to tense up under hers.She takes him as deep as she can and swallows.The groan he lets out is a low rumble through them both and his hips try to arch again but then she can taste him.His release hot and thick sliding down her throat as she swallows reflexively around the head of his cock and his orgasm. 

She works him through it feeling very accomplished before releasing his softening length from her mouth.There’s a quip about being easy ready on her lips but it’s lost in a deep moan as he strikes.The arm still around her thighs pulling her down so he can wrap his lips around her clit even as his fingers keep up their pace, filling her over and over again. 

She wants to hold out.She wants to make him work for it.She wants to force him to make her beg.It’s not going to happen though.She’s too close, too tired, and everything just feels too good.She uses her braced hands to push herself up and the new angle pushes Clint’s fingers deeper into her body where she feels them curl to hit that spot deep inside.From somewhere almost far away she hears the low keening noise that leaves her throat and she can feel Clint’s grunt in response as his tongue presses against her clit in time to the thrusts from his hand. 

She can feel her own release starting to crest, her muscles tightening as his efforts drive her closer and closer to the edge.Now is normally when he’d back off to drag things out but like he’s read her mind he blows right past the point of no return. Darcy slams her eyes shut as the orgasm races through her body, heat flooding out from where Clint’s mouth is urgently sucking to heavy limbs until she’s gasping with it.He stays with her through the sharp high and into the slow after burn, his tongue lapping at her clit, his fingers still buried deep until she falls forward to pillow her head on his thigh. 

“God you taste good.” Clint says as he gently pulls his hand free, wet fingers trailing down the inside of one thigh. 

“Ditto.” She mutters back before pressing a soft kiss to his skin.

“Come up here.” He says, already trying to shift her off of his body and reaching for her arms to get her head back up to the pillows. 

She lets out a wordless whine and Clint huffs a laugh as he moves her bodily up the bed to put her right back where she started tucked up agains his chest.

“Can you sleep now?” He asks and Darcy just nods into his pec already feeling boneless and half asleep. “Good girl.” He whispers and Darcy lets sleep take her.

She wakes up to late afternoon sunlight filtering into the bedroom and Darcy stretches against stiff muscles with a yawn. She’s alone in the bed but can hear the familiar rumble of speech from the living room so she gets up and gathers clothes, pulling on soft jeans, a t-shirt, and the flannel she’d put on that morning at the Bed Stuy apartment. The sound of Lucky’s bark from the other room reveals their visitor as Kate and Darcy makes sure to tame her sex hair before exiting the bedroom.

“I really think you burnt it.” Kate is saying as Darcy emerges into the open living room.

“Burnt what?” Darcy asks coming around the edge of the kitchen island just in time to see Clint shift what looks like a very dark apple pie behind his back.“I saw that.” She says, ducking around him without further comment to open the fridge.“Which is why we have this one.” She pulls the apple crumble she made the night before out of the fridge and holds it out for inspection.

“Oh thank god.” Clint says, his shoulders sagging and he drops his burnt husk that was once a pie on the counter. 

“I want to be you when I grow up.” Kate says eyeing Darcy with a little awe. 

“Hey!” Clint exclaims turning on Kate with mock betrayal all over his face, “You’re supposed to want to be me when you grow up!”

“Why would I want to be you?” Kate asks incredulously.

“You’re Hawkeye, like I’m Hawkeye.” Clint says thoughtfully, pulling himself up onto the counter and starting to pick at the burnt crust. 

“Don’t eat that.” Darcy says smacking his hand away before sweeping the entire ruined pie into the trash. 

“Aww, pie.” He whines and Darcy rolls her eyes before turning to reset the oven back down to the right temperature.“C’mon Katie-Kate.Why do you want to be Darcy and not me when you grow up.I have arrows.”

“Yea,” Kate agrees, “but Darcy has easy access to steal all your arrows, is smarter than you, prettier than you, more prepared than you, and generally is going to be richer than you once her dad croaks.” Kate inspects her nails with put on attitude.“Face it Clint, within 10 years you’re going to be a kept man and Darcy’s going to be the boss of everything.”

Clint lets out a thoughtful noise.“I hear you. I hear you.” He nods along and Darcy slides the new apple crumble into the oven. “But here’s the thing, all of that is true about Darcy which is great but if you’re me then you get to date her, which means all of those great things are used to your benefit but you still get to be me. Prime example, back up apple crumble.” 

Darcy snorts a laugh before leaning against the counter next to him.“Nice.” She says dropping her head on to his shoulder.“Love you.”

“Love you too darlin’.” Clint agrees before turning back to Kate, “But really Katie-Kate, let me explain why the arrows are actually the most important part.” That’s all it takes and Clint is off. For all that he may not outwardly exude genius his love for archery is where his intelligence shines like a beacon.Darcy leans against the counter and lets his detailed explanations of complicated arrowhead designs wash over her.Ten minutes later he wraps up a very technical explanation of a boomerang arrow (which he’d finally built) with “Do you see Kate?”

“All I see is an idiot and the awesome woman who loves him against all odds.” Kate says and Darcy lunges up to press another kiss to Clint’s cheek.

“Against all odds.” Darcy repeats.

“Seriously?” Clint asks looking down at her.

“It’s certainly helping my ego.” Darcy says with a shrug.

“Just what you need.” Clint says as the oven dings. “Wait! It’s barely been in there! It can’t be done.”

Darcy grabs the potholders to pull the warm crumble from the oven and wrap it in kitchen towels.“Have you considered time might have been the problem with your pie?” She asks. 

“I made that pie.” Clint says indignantly.

“Probably a good thing it burned then.” Kate quips and Darcy presses the towel wrapped bundle into Clint’s hands.

“Let’s go Hawkeyes.We’re going to be late.”

The penthouse is madness.They’re the last to arrive and everyone who is already there appears to be trying to talk over each other while gathered around the kitchen island. 

“...but then if Thanksgiving is about Pilgrims and Indians, where does the turkey come in?” Thor is asking.

“No, no, the Pilgrims and Indians are a myth and the turkey was established by Norman Rockwell.” 

“What are you talking about? The Pilgrims were absolutely real!”

“Of course they were real but the idea that they sat down with the Indians for a shared meal in peace is a myth.”

“No it isn’t!”

“But do we get to eat the turkey?”

“Of course we get to eat the turkey and also side dishes and pie.”

“And appetizers.” Clint jumps right into the chaos, sliding the crumble onto the counter and popping a piece of bruschetta into his mouth whole. 

“Thanksgiving is about family.” Steve chimes in and Darcy slides in next to Natasha just in time for the Russian to snort. 

“Only Americans would make a holiday about eating the definition of family.” Nat says taking a long drink.

“So it is mostly about the eating?” Thor tries to confirm again.

“Of course it is big guy.” Darcy says snagging a pig in a blanket out of Clint’s hand. 

“Hey!”

“Too slow Hawkeye.” Darcy says ducking behind Natasha to avoid Clint’s swiping hands.

“You can’t hide behind Nat!” He whines and Darcy just shifts to keep the small redhead between them.

“I can hide behind you, right Nat?”

“Of course,” Natasha agrees before reaching back to snatch the pig in a blanket straight from Darcy’s fingers, “have to pay the tax though.” She says before shoving the savory treat in her mouth.

Darcy stares at her open mouthed. “Did everyone see that?”

“I did.” Sam comments from the other end of the kitchen and Darcy nods.

“This is why you never hide behind Natasha.” Clint says and he wraps a big arm around Darcy’s waist pulling her against him. 

“Football?” Thor’s raised voice comes from the other end of the island and all heads turn to where Jane is still trying to explain the rest of the Thanksgiving traditions.

“Yes,” Tony agrees, “and we’re about to miss the tip off.”

“Kickoff.” Pepper and Sam correct.

“Kickoff.” Tony parrots and Darcy feels Clint’s exhaled laugh against the top of her head. 

“Is he really going to pretend to know football?” Clint whispers and Darcy nods still watching Tony try to herd everyone out of the kitchen to watch the game. “Oh this is going to be good.”

“Yes.” Darcy replies softly and lets Clint lead her into the living room.

Everyone but Sam, Steve, and Clint abandon the football game before the first quarter is over.Darcy ends up listening to Jane explain a breakthrough she had in her work the day before, Nat and Pepper are comparing very detailed notes on this season’s shoe trends, while Kate and Tony talk through the latest in custom arrows.Thor is asking Bruce more and more detailed questions about the holiday traditions.

The second quarter is well underway and Jane has shifted to join the holiday conversation with Bruce and Thor. Darcy has been staring blankly at the TV screen for several long minutes when Clint’s arm tightens around her shoulders. “You okay Darcy-girl?”

“Just hungry, I think.” She says quietly. She feels lightheaded.

“Me too.Why don’t we go check on the food, there’s still snacks over there.”He’s already standing and pulling her up as he finishes talking. 

No one watches them go and Darcy lets herself get led all the way into the kitchen behind the pillar the blocks off the pantry entrance from the living room.Clint presses up against her until she’s trapped with the wall at her back and him at her front and she takes a shallow breath.

“Good girl.” Clint says low and he’s spread his legs so he’s on her eye level. “Take another deep breath.”He suggests and she does.

“How’d you know?” She asks through gritted teeth and she can feel the edges of panic that had been creeping up start to recede in the face of Clint’s closeness and the breathing exercise.

“You went quiet on Jane.” Clint says and reaches up to cup one of her cheeks, his thumb rubbing gently under her eye.“You haven’t done that in a few weeks but you’ve been stressed.” 

“Yeah.” Darcy agrees but she can feel frustration welling up.This was another side effect of what her very expensive Tony supplied therapist assured her was well deserved PTSD.The occasional loss of time, the ‘going quiet’, the unexpected panic.She’s been working through it for the last few weeks with lots of help from the people in the other room but she’s annoyed that it’s still happening.She wants to put it all behind her, be done with this. She knows that’s not how this works but it doesn’t stop her frustration.

“It’s okay Darce.” Clint says and the hand not on her face slides down her arm to grip at her hip.Grounding her with touch, one of the strategies along with the breathing suggested by the therapist.“Is this what you were nervous about last night? The crowd?” 

“No. Yes.” She takes another deep breath. “I don’t know.”

“That’s okay.” Clint says softly.“It’s going to take time baby girl.I still have moments and it’s been over a year since Loki.” 

She knows that.She rubbed his back after a nightmare just last week.“We’re a matched set.” She jokes and Clint’s mouth quirks up in a half smile.

“You going to be okay? Want to leave? We can. I’ll text Nat and she’ll get us out of here with at least enough time to get home before anyone notices.”He’s already reaching for his phone and Darcy stills his hand.

“I don’t doubt that but I’m okay.I’ll be okay.”She takes another deep breath.“I think I was just nervous about first Thanksgiving back and everyone being here.”

“It’s going well,” Clint says, “I think so at least.”

“Yeah.” Darcy agrees, it really is. 

“Found them!” Nat’s voice rings out from the other end of the kitchen and Darcy ducks around Clint to stare at the redhead.Natasha gives her a knowing look, a question in her eyes, and Darcy nods. “They’re getting the food ready.” Nat calls back to the room at large and Darcy can hear the sounds of everyone getting up.

The chaos converges on them again after that.Tony swoops in to carry the turkey over to Pepper’s beautifully set table. Sam, Steve, and Bruce grab other side dishes from ovens and warming trays.Thor is carefully carrying Jane’s sweet potatoes, their perfect marshmallows still intact.Kate pulls a green bean casserole essentially out of thin air and brings it over. 

Darcy ends up in between Tony and Clint, across from Jane at the table.There’s a brief scuffle when Steve suggests a prayer, Jane wants everyone to say what they’re thankful for, and Tony refuses both on principal.They end up with an awkward moment of silence and then they all dig in. 

It’s loud, busy, and chaotic.Thor raises concerns about the stuffing not actually being stuffed into anything.Kate and Clint start a green bean flicking war, Bruce eats way more than his share of the mashed potatoes and Jane refuses to let Clint have any sweet potatoes.Sam is trying to loudly convince Natasha and Steve to try the collard greens he brought along while Lucky begs at Pepper’s feet (she’s been proven to be the weak link when it comes to table scraps). Darcy is on her second helping of everything when Tony leans over to offer her one half of the wishbone.

“For old times sake. Get a wish in mind.” He says and Darcy grips her half and pulls, smiling broadly until she ends up with the larger half.“Every damn time.” Tony whines.

“I don’t want to hear it.” Pepper warns from across the table.

Tony turns back to Darcy with a roll of his eyes, “Cheater,” he mutters under his breath, ignoring Pepper’s warning growl he continues, “I’m glad you’re here kiddo.”

“Me too.” Darcy agrees just in time to take mashed potato splatter to the face from a poorly timed shot courtesy Kate. “Mostly glad.” Darcy amends wiping at her eye.

“Sorry Darcy!” Kate calls. 

“Don’t worry Darce,” Clint says already loading up his own fork, “I’ll avenge you.”

“Don’t you dare.” Nat warns, already ducking behind Steve for cover.

“Too late.” Bruce deadpans as the potatoes hit Kate square in the face splattering over Steve and Sam. Nat emerges completely clean.

Darcy’s laugh is loud and genuine as she drops the wishbone on her plate, she’s got nothing to wish for, she’s got everything she needs. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s very weird and a little bittersweet to be here at the end of this story, which I’ve been working on for almost four months. It was a great honor to share this with everyone who read and commented. You all made me feel very loved in a brand new fandom and I’m so excited that you enjoyed this version of Darcy and Clint. 
> 
> I hope you loved this last chapter as much as I did and I hope you’re ready for a bit more because I already have some ideas for sequel one shots and follow ups. If you have something you want to see Clint and Darcy deal with next I’d love to hear about it. 
> 
> Your comments really do mean a lot, so if you liked this story or this chapter or even if you didn’t I’d love to hear from you! 
> 
> Enjoy your holiday, be safe.


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